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:: 2008 23 March :: 2.42pm

I can't even say what I mean.

:: 2008 11 March :: 2.52pm

sdlkfjsdl

i hate shots.

:: 2008 6 March :: 5.38am

Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer.

lsdkfjslkdjfowejfalskdfjoaw efiawoirqowi4rowejf

nobody puts baby in a corner...

:: 2008 28 February :: 4.23am

i have an interview at laser quest today
and i am so stoked.

omg

plus,
its christina's
joy's
and emily's
BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

WOOOOO!
yay for being legal haha

:: 2008 22 February :: 5.40am

I don't get why some people have to be such bitches.
It's time to grow up and learn how to be civil to other people.

:: 2008 21 February :: 6.22am

anyone have any ideas of subjects i can use for a photography portfolio?

:D

:: 2008 5 February :: 6.10pm

i feel like i dont have a best friend anymore
i know i'll always have nicole, but its hard because she lives across the state.

i just want someone to talk face to face to
someone who will actually listen
and not try to kiss my ass or sound all nice by giving me false sympathy
i dont fucking want your sympathy
i just want someone to listen
and realize how retarded i feel lately

i feel so alone
and i keep trying to tell that to people
but no one is there to listen

i wish nicole were here
or that someone was here for me
because i dont know what to do
i feel so pathetic
and lost
and worthless

and i dont want to anymore...

2 did | Tell me

:: 2008 5 February :: 6.28am

i just want to leave this town already.

:: 2008 26 January :: 2.03pm

it's not worth it.
i'm not worth it.
so fuck it.
nothing is ever going to go right for me.
no one is ever going to be there for me.

this is pathetic
and i'm pathetic

and i hope she's fucking happy.
i hope you're all so fucking happy.

when the hell is it going to be my turn?

i'm sick of feeling like shit and hating myself. sick of freaking out over nothing and crying like a baby. i'm sick of people thinking that it's okay to be an asshole and make someone feel like nothing. sick of not having any answers. sick of not being able to accept things and of not being able to say what i think or how i feel.

none of this came out right.

:: 2008 15 January :: 5.34am

its always nice when your friends ditch you, ignore you, then replace you.

:: 2007 15 November :: 8.03pm

So some girl in Liberty Lake is drawing a picture of Nicole, but it's kind of weird because they've never met, and she never asked Nicole if it was okay. It's really freaking good though, and I want to buy it.
So imma find out how much she's selling in for in January, but it's even weirder because she's selling it at the Empyrean.
:D

Read more..

I'm stoked. I get to see Nicole on Wednesday. :D:D
It has been far too long since I've seen that girl. It's going to be amazing.

:: 2007 8 November :: 4.06pm

thanks for ruining my day.

:: 2007 7 November :: 7.22pm

I'm pretty sure Natalie Portman's Shaved Head started the whole sideways pony tail thing, and not Katelyn Eyford.

It must be hard for her though, with people wearing the same hair style and all. God forbid.

:: 2007 6 November :: 8.13pm

i just want it back.

i just want to be able to sit and talk and laugh.
and not have to hide all the time.
i want to feel safe.

:: 2007 6 November :: 7.18pm

what career are you going to pursue?

a logger. what else am i going to do with a saw for a foot?

:: 2007 6 November :: 5.43am

"The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same basket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have and overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner. Or you'd have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletiner. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way--I can't explain what I mean. and even if i could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it."

:: 2007 4 November :: 3.25pm

This would not have happened if I hadn't missed my plane
I would've been there when they told you I'm the rat within the grain
Within this big misunderstanding now, I'm being misunderstood
I'm thinkin' someone's trying to fuck with me and set fire to my wood

I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

It's a stupid situation now where everything goes wrong
If you can't tell if I am lying, then you do not belong
In my bed, go rest your head upon the bones of a bigger man
And he can cover you with rockwool and you can close up like a clam

'Cause I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

So go play with your piano and write a mediocre song
About this shell of mediocrity
And pretend there's nothing wrong
I never thought you were a chicken shit
I never thought of you at all
Until you asked me to be part of it
And now you're showing me a wall

I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

La la la...

In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

:: 2007 30 October :: 5.58am

this week is going to be so shitty.
1. write personal essay by friday
2. write proposal essay for senior culminating project by friday
3. figure out what to do for senior culminating project
4. finish biome project for neff
5. halloween
6. birthday
7. talk to councilor about senior culminating project & college shit.
8. buy some knives
9. edit my senior pictures and turn them in (SOOOO LATE)
10. figure out senior quote and turn it in

slkdjflsdkjflskdfj

oh well, life goes on.
:D

:: 2007 24 October :: 5.58am

I am waiting for something to wrong
I am waiting for familiar resolve
I am waiting for another repeat
Another diet fed by crippling defeat
And i am waiting for that sense of relief
I am waiting for you to flee the scene
As if you held in your hand the smoking gun
And on the floor lay the one you said you loved.

:: 2007 21 October :: 2.53pm

i hate this.

i'm done.

3 did | Tell me

:: 2007 18 October :: 7.51pm

i wish running away from your problems really worked.

why does this have to be so difficult?

:: 2007 17 October :: 6.54pm

i feel sick
anxious sick

sldkfjldkj

i hate people
a lot.

2 did | Tell me

:: 2007 3 October :: 6.34pm

(And I know...)
State is not an ocean, not an island, not a road
If I don't know where I come from
How do I know where to go?
It's not where you're from, not where you're at
It's where your going... and I am going home...
To the land of the lost souls
Feeling a loneliness that really only exists in abandoned foster homes

:: 2007 15 September :: 12.02am

sdlfkjsadlkfjsdlfkjsd

:: 2007 13 September :: 8.34pm

blahhhhhh..

tomorrow
will be epic

hopefully :)

eastman
and
no fi soul rebellion

:D:D:D

woo
i loves me some no fi

maybe i'll even see jake there,
who knowwwss

but i'll have fun with katie and raelynn
and then ambure and stina
:D

:: 2007 6 September :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: lost

i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over it
i need to get over him

3 did | Tell me

:: 2007 28 August :: 5.22pm
:: Mood: curious

one time my friend matt showed me how to call yourself on your landline phone
by dialing some special number

but i forgot it
and now i'm sad

because it was funny everytime morgan would pick up
and no one would talk back to her

:]

:: 2007 27 August :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: nostalgic

i've got my train tickets
two more days

today was an odd day
a lot of thinking about how things used to be
it was nice
but kind of sad

i miss him
and i hope one day he can be who i remember him as
and we can hang out and have fun
with our bear trap proof pants

:: 2007 9 July :: 1.32pm

love is how it's lost, not how it's found.