In 4th period
AHh im here in 4th period i got to skip rotc b/c my teacher needed help so its all good...yah last night me and mike broke up AGAIN!! hehe anywho im alright i guess but to add the distruction of my life i got 3 days iss woohoo i mean how great and im sick and my dad was a bitch to me last night..... ahh i shouldnt have came to school today i new something bad was going to happen...anywho me and alex are going to hang out tonight so he will cheer me up well gtg bell is about to ring bye bye

-Crystal

Life
Grrr....me and my mom had a huge conversation on how i hate living here and all i wanna do is get away and how i want her to leave my dad she pretends to listen to me but i know she dosent give a flying fuck...i worned her that if she dosent do something im going to run away..she got scared and i hope she can see how i hate it here..ive been writing alot lately in my journal (not this one one that i have at home) and she read it and saw all of my poems and songs and she is realizing that im really depressed and disturbed hopefully its a wakeup call to her i really need to get out of this hell hole i mean id rather live under a bridge then live here i cant take my dads shit anymore...and my sister on the other hand dosent give a shit i mean she dosent care about the shit that happends here she pretends everything is okay i wish i could be like her i cant tho i mean the things that happen here are like something i wish i would have never seen....wow im going to need alot of therapist once i get older..haha wow dont i sound pathetic...i mean there are so many other people out there that have it worse that i do i realize that but like the shit i go through and see are life altering....whats really sad is that i have a this dream that one day i will be able to go to sleep at night and not be scared to wake up i hate waking up knowing im in the shit still and just another day of fighting throwing shit and arguements to go through...it really sucks anywho me and mike seem to be getting along again and thats really good i love him and i dont want to lose him...hopefully this summer my mom will get an apartment or something that way me and mike can hang out all the time that would be really cool....well imma go im tired of typing

Ahh i feel like shit.....i took a shit load of meds last night thinking they may work...i was wrong...grrr anywho today donnas friend thiami is coming over and my friend alex were all going to hang out and may go to the park or mall or something to do...i havent talked to mike since friday night hmmm im really confussed about him and i dont know anymore...yesterday was fun we went out got some shirts and stuff i got stuff for my room and imma paint it soon ... my head hurts so bad i just wanna crawl into a ball and die...but no i cant do that...gotta stay alive...fucking foot is asleep and im like about to throw it up agaisnt something...i feel so alone right now i dont really talk to my family and right now me and mike arnt on good terms my grandmother is still really sick i unno i just feel like what the hell else can go wrong...anywho off that soap box(as seargent C would put it) ... grrr im just really sad right now and i dont know what to do anymore anywho imma go its all the meds talking so if i pissed anyone off im sorry again its the meds

Michael and last night
Well last night had to be the worst night ever....Isnt really much to say really...i hope me and mike worked things out...but i truly feel that he dosent really wanna be with me anymore but he says he dose so lets see what happens... see the thing is i like aurora i think shes cool and i really have no problem with her i unno im just stupid sometimes..anywho...aparntly i look sexy when im yelling...ahh not suppose work that way..*tries to think of a new way to yell* anywho ahh i feel like shit at the end of school yesterday i got sick in the matter of like 30 mins i feel like shit im like blah im like about to die....*Hopeing for death* ahh anywho imma go i unno what im even saying....if i say anything wrong or something to piss people off please blame it on the medication...

-crystal

*today!!*
Omg today was a total blast at the fair....i had so much fun omg im just so happy!!.....i think today put me and mike back on track with everything i think the relization that we make each other really happy kinda reminded us that we shouldnt fight so much and imma try harder to be a better gf...today was just so great and me and mike had like the hole day to hang out it was so much fucking fun!woohoo i unno im just so happy again and like i realized how much i like mike and how great it is to be around him he just makes me smile so much and laugh and just to look into his eyes is just wow.. no other word to explain it..its so great tho cuz like if we dont talk and just sit next to each other its just like perfect and like i just love him wow im just so freaking happy!!....The day was just perfect...i couldnt have asked for a better day...anyways imma go now cuz like im so tired imma go take a nap lol bye bye!!

love
-Crystal

*today florida state fair!*
HEllo everyone....today im going to the fair woohooo. Anyways its going to be fun...im like so worried tho i have a bad feeling about something and my horiscope proves something bad is going to happen and im scared oh wellz w.e happends i mean im going to try to have fun and everything and im sure i will...mike is going which is good cuz i wanna spend some time with him..anyways imma go i gotta go get stuff ready and i have to do my hair n crap so bye byes ill write more later when i get back

-Crystal

*life in general*
Well today i celebrated my bday hehe it was fun as hell we took cake and threw it everywhere and like my thong got pulled up so far i think they added another hole lol i started to cry it was funny...anywho today was fun....execpt the end of the day with my sister and mike grr like i dont know what to do i mean like it just pisses me off cuz like 2morrow is my bday and like they both cant be civil so like its ruining my bday all i wanted was to go out and everyone get along but i guess its not much i can do but sit back and let them deal with it im so sick of having to help everyone else with there shit i need to help myself...im so like confussed cuz like im becoming someone i dont know and its like blah right now and i dont know my grandmother could be dieing so yah it like grr i love her and i dont want her to die but like w.e well bye bye for now

crystal-

Morning
Hello everyone....grr i slept bad last night...oh wellz..i talked to michael and got things worked out..my bday is like really pissing me off im about ready to say screw it all and not do anything...everything has to be so damn complicated..grrr...anyways today i have to go out with my mommy and hopefully i can get some stuff....*smiles* Okay well my mom needs the phone so ill update laters

Bye
Crystal