SOMNAMBULANT RAMBLINGS

SOMNAMBULANT RAMBLINGS

:: 2022 1 July :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: AJR- World's Smallest Violin

Now come in with the timpanis/ And take a shot of Hennessy/ I know I'm not there mentally/ But you could be the remedy
My grandpa fought in World War II
He was such a noble dude
I can't even finish school
Missed my mom and left too soon
His dad was a fireman
Who fought fires so violent
I think I bored my therapist
While playing him my violin
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
My grandpa fought in World War II
And he was such a noble dude
Man I feel like such a fool
I got so much left to prove
All my friends have vaping friends
They're so good at making friеnds
I'm so scared of caving in
Is that entertaining yеt?
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
Somewhere in the universe
Somewhere someone's got it worse
Wish that made it easier
Wish I didn't feel the hurt
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
All up and down a city street
While tryna put my mind at ease
Like finishing this melody
This feels like a necessity
So this could be the death of me
Or maybe just a better me
Now come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for you

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koalalady

:: 2022 25 June :: 7.52pm

Link: Abortion Access by State

This is bad, guys.

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koalalady

:: 2022 25 May :: 10.21am

Another school shooting. A crazy racist shoots up a grocery store.

Women forced to carry their unwanted pregnancies to term because some people believe that's what their god wants to happen.

I believe there are things worth protecting in my life, in the place where I live. I went to a protest on May 14th and shouted "our bodies, our choice" over and over until my throat was raw and my words rang senseless in my ears, becoming sounds without meaning. Over 1,000 of us circled the capitol building in downtown Raleigh, waving homemade signs and shaking the rain off our umbrellas. I wore rain boots with my good pearls.

I'm going to online orientation meetings about volunteering with Planned Parenthood. Yes, I'm angry, and I am not going to take this lying down. I'm channeling my rage into action, and if you care at all about what's happening, you should be too.

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koalalady

:: 2022 17 February :: 2.03pm

I know your MOTHA thinks that I'm nice, but she doesn't want you dating a Protestant

I know your MOTHA thinks I'm as cute as a koala, but half as intelligent

I saw your BROTHA down at the servo buying a carton of Camels

I saw your BROTHA getting a sticky with his mates, I think he's a pooftah

- Variations on "Like China" by Phil Collins

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koalalady

:: 2021 19 November :: 10.11am

There will be no candle of Hope this year. Hope is no longer enough. There will be no candle of Peace this year. For there is no peace without justice. There will be no candle of Joy this year. There are too many empty places at the table to rejoice. But there will be Light. Light that shines in the darkness illuminating injustice and indifference. The lights I kindle will join with the lights others kindle and expose the depravity that steals, kills and consumes our children and, those complicit with it. This Advent is a season of preparation. We have work to do. Stay awake. Stay awake to injustice. And stay awake to justice, wherever it may be lest we despair. Stay awake. Or, as we say on twitter: #StayWoke.

Translation by Wil Gafney, Ph.D.

^ This was written in 2014.

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koalalady

:: 2021 18 November :: 9.17am

Thank God Saturn is finally going direct again. Even Jesus has been asleep in the garden.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2021 17 November :: 10.57pm
:: Music: AJR and Daisy the Great- Record Player

Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is/ Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive.
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in an elevator, it's goin' down, down, down
I spent forever with my feet on the ground
But not now (not now)
'Cause I don't wanna do the wrong thing
Guess I gotta go and get famous for doin' nothing
Da-da-da-da-da
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Da-da-da-da-da
Stay a while, stay a while
Da-da-da-da-da
Am I holdin' for applause?
Is it gone? Is this on?
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in the simulator, I'm doin' a-okay
But every day is just rewind and replay
Not today
I'll head out to Monterey
Throw my phone into the waves
Can you see it in my eyes? Am I finally awake?
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Stay a while, stay a while
I think the best is yet to come
So drink up and good luck
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm climbing in the trees

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munkysaurus

:: 2021 30 October :: 12.32am

Crackle fingertips upon the edge of thought
Mr. J...J meaning journal. Did you know that "jour" is a french word for day and "nal" meaning daily, so jour-nal. Daily. You're name is really daily. Daily.

You've been a friend for so long. Good and bad. A post, 20 years ago, described in such detail--the advent of a little brother. Received by a brother who was still, himself, such a young man.

Girlfriends, you figured it out. They're people and you need to find a decent one.

We shared allegory of the fall of Icarus, aspiring and burned, falling into the torrent river. Washing downstream. They don't talk about the fate of Icarus after his fall. A fool, sure, but learned in something of value.

Well, Mr. J, you are the river now. You are the storm. The sun is your device. The world is yours.

There is nothing stopping you, the world is yours.

Rest easy, past self.

Rest.

I have you now, with tender, strong arms.

Yours, Mr. J., a gentle soul somewhere in Andy's server. You listen and carry our message.

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jedibumblebee

:: 2021 15 October :: 3.46pm
:: Music: Olivia Rodrigo- brutal

They say these are the golden years/ But I wish I could disappear/ Ego crush is so severe/ God, it's brutal out here...
I want it to be, like, messy
I'm so insecure, I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
'Cause who am I, if not exploited?
And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry
And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah!)
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately, I'm a nervous wreck
'Cause I love people I don't like
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool and I'm not smart
And I can't even parallel park
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah! Just having a really good time)
Got a broken ego, broken heart
(It's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)
And God, I don't even know where to start

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