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:: 2016 3 February :: 7.36 am

One of my favorite things
So I was listening to The Streets of Cairo on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npQUK_OJONA), and I go to read the comments and I spot a bunch of people complaining about Ke$ha and some kpop ladies for ripping off the tune for their songs. Which is hilarious to me as The Streets of Cairo was an off the cuff ripoff of an older french song "Colin Prend Sa Hotte" which is a ripoff of an almost ancient algerian song.

It's almost as good as people complaining about Metallica ripping off Thin Lizzy or the Dubliners for Whiskey in the Jar, which has been sung in Ireland in one version or another since before the US was a country.

Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2016 15 January :: 2.06 am

this was gonna be a fb status but I was worried people would think I was more than 30% serious
What the fuck am I supposed to do about this amber alert from five counties away? I'd have already called the cops if I saw someone that dark skinned in my neighborhood this time of night, I don't need an amber alert.

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:: 2015 31 August :: 11.36 pm

Tag line for my biopic
"Like Into The Wild without the nature or nobility"

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:: 2015 9 January :: 6.07 pm

Inspired by real events
Hey, where the hell did you put the keys?

They're around, i remember i saw em earlier

Around? What a useless answer. I would rather you told me - oh i found them

See, i told you they were around.

1 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2014 16 July :: 1.40 am

If I collect enough lines of decent dialogue, eventually I can string them all together and make a movie
"What's bizzaro world? What the fuck kind of question... Bizzaro world is a world in which things are bizarre. It's like "shipwreck cove" or "the island of faggots." You don't need to ask what it is, as soon as you're aware it exists, you should already know."

1 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2014 11 May :: 2.52 pm

If you were dating a secretary would you get her something for secretary's day? She's not your secretary, you didn't make her a secretary, in fact, she brings work home all the time and makes you a part time secretary too. Then she expects some gift for secretary's day? That would be completely unreasonable.

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:: 2014 20 March :: 12.19 pm

What if we just swam around in warm water all day every day?
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.

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:: 2014 17 March :: 5.01 pm

2 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2013 14 October :: 8.14 am

Things I do that don't make any damn sense (to be added to later)
I drive from Northland and 14 mile to Northland and 12 mile almost every weekday. Every time I come close to the Northland and 13 mile intersection I get afraid that the right lane is going to become a right turn only lane and I move to the left lane. The right lane does not become a right turn only lane.


Whenever I see an Art Van truck, I check to see if Big Dave is inside of it. It's been at least 3 years since Dave worked for Artvan, and over a year since I've talked to Big Dave, but I still always check to see if he's sitting in the passenger seat when I see an Art Van truck.

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:: 2013 19 August :: 12.32 am
:: Music: New Slaves

I wish I was worse at appreciating art so I didn't have to think this was pretty great music. Fucking Kanye and his talent, making people that hate him like his music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dT3swdCJrrg

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:: 2013 21 April :: 3.04 pm

It was a 4/20 miracle!
So last night on the way home from a party in saranac with my girlfriend, Stacey, I ran out of gas. We were about 2 miles from a gas station, but it was 1 at night and we were in the middle of nowhere (the wrong side of 12 mile and lincoln lake road) so we started walking. I expect Stacey to complain because it is all my fault but she's a fucking trooper and never said a negative word. Anyway, we get maybe a half mile down the road, with me holding out my gas can for everyone who passed us to see, before we see brake lights. Our savior was in a red truck, and his name was Mike. Before we get another half mile, Mike asks if we smoke. We say hell yes, and he passes us a bowl. Stacey starts talking about how lame the party we came from was (we basically all sat around calling people trying to get dope all night) and the guy gives us a little bag with about a gram in it. He gets us to the gas station and back, and our night was a million times better.

2 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2013 23 January :: 9.41 pm
:: Music: Jonathan Coultan - Nobody loves you like me

If wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak
I'm supposed to feel bad but I don't anymore
only when you remind me

1 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2013 17 January :: 7.10 pm
:: Music: Blink 182- Blowjob

I wasn't masturbating I was just cleaning it and it went off.

1 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 13 December :: 9.46 pm

You know what?
Call me maybe still makes me smile.
And I am not ashamed to admit this.

4 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 28 November :: 8.28 am

If I win the powerball I'm gonna build a Millennium Falcon
so I hope you're rooting for me.

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:: 2012 15 November :: 10.34 am
:: Music: SURFIN BIRD

Let's go to hell together
It might not make a lot of sense at first, just bear with me until about :40.

2 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 12 November :: 4.24 am

I'm still surprised you can be born in the 90's.

6 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 5 November :: 7.59 pm

VOTE
This country is screwed up on so many levels you need to fight two bosses to see them all.

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:: 2012 3 November :: 9.30 am

The best is yet to come and babe won't it be fine.
You think you've seen the sun but you ain't seen it shine.

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:: 2012 22 October :: 10.52 pm

I said hey
what's going on?

3 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 2 September :: 1.52 pm

Your love is one in a million
You couldn’t buy it at any price.

But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves,
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice.

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:: 2012 1 August :: 10.49 am

2 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 29 July :: 9.24 pm
:: Music: Harder Better Faster Stronger - Daft Punk

My life is a lot like Kevin Spaceys in that American Beauty movie. All I do is smoke pot, work out, work a shitty job and try to bang Mena Suvari.

1 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 15 June :: 6.50 pm

1 people think I'm right | Go ahead, agree with me!


:: 2012 28 May :: 4.19 pm

I've got so much to talk about!
don't make me try
cause I dont want to let you
I dont want to let you down

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:: 2012 24 April :: 8.10 pm

whoops.

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:: 2012 21 March :: 6.30 pm

Our Father, who art in memory,
Virtual be your name.
Your bit stream come, your mark-up be done,
On Earth as it is in binary.
Give us this day our daily news,
And forgive us our torrents,
As we have also forgiven MegaUpload.
And lead us not into Reddit,
But deliver us from goatse.
Amen.

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:: 2012 27 January :: 7.29 pm

RAGE RAGE RAGE
Those tomatoes are peeled with chemicals! Unlike Hunts, which is peeled with steam, which is made from superheating a motherfucking chemical. Fuck you guy who hides in endcaps.

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:: 2012 17 January :: 5.51 pm

I used to think you were just way cooler than me.
Now I'm pretty sure you were just being a bitch the whole time.

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:: 2012 8 January :: 11.09 pm

I will die so gloriously that ever having lived will seem a folly.

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