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alwaysfalling

:: 2004 11 October :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: rilo kiley - my slumbering heart

and i'm so tired.
i still have 7/8 questions left to go in psychology then i have to study for our quiz on operant conditioning that we have tomorrow...
...and i thought i had gotten a lot of stuff done this weekend.
at least i got the first part of my internal assessment done.
but by golly i will get my one A in trig and the rest B's for this nine weeks. i will. even if i don't ever sleep.
i will get away from it all this weekend and take a trip up to orlando this weekend with some lovelys. stress needs to be relieved.
i work too much. i have no more weekends. school or work. i need cas hours. screw work.

i miss crushing or even having a boy to look at. oh yeah, i don't have time for that though.

<3 i still love you.

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sameen

:: 2004 30 September :: 4.08pm

Beyone the Eye
Oprah is so awesome lol.

I wanna be in the audience one day and get free shit lol. I need a car!

Did ne1 get the e-mail from NHS? I didn't.

So was up?

I'm enjoying this time "off"

I wanna c Shark Tale. It looks good- maybe it'll be a family affair.

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spinoangel

:: 2004 25 September :: 12.57am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: heh, i guess you could call it the sexual mix

so many things to say but i have no clue about how to say them or if they will actually be significant or not. let's outline the topics i need to cover (blame history and english for this). school, time, danielle, hurricane, insecurities. yess. i think i can do that.

so yeah, school. ok i feel like i can't say anything about school. danielle knows what i mean. lately i think she's really been the only one i truly talk to and the only one who makes me feel better throughout the day. i love all of my friends but everyone is so stressed out and i feel guilty because i can't help them. so i try my best to stay away from people who need to be alone with themselves because i dont wanna be all like "yeah i have 3 b's right now, i'm gonna die." because i know that they most likely have it worse. i'll just try to do my best to keep my mouth shut. i don't know how i'll do this quarter, really. i don't know if i can make straight a's. (yeah i know, dont even say anything) but i mean, i'm trying my hardest to remain hopeful and faithful so as not to crumble before i know the outcome. we shall see. maybe my parents will even be lenient. wow.

time. THERE'S NO TIME anymore. there's always something to do, somewhere to go, something to STUDY. i swear, it's freaking crazy. i don't know how some girls multitask so effectively. icc, snhs, art club, homecoming hallway decorations (mostly done by only yours truly because of this hurricane), nhs. is that it? i think so. i really am hoping to uhh be president of nhs. i signed up for... four committees? afterschool when kassie was helping me bring stuff to the car, she was all like "christina, you're really involved, you should run for office of something" and i told her about my nhs aspirations and she's all like "wow yeah that sounds awesome, you should totally do it, you should talk to kyle now." it was nice to hear someone who doesnt know me at all to encourage me. shrug.

danielle is possibly the most awesome person in the world. spending time with her makes both of us feel like sooo much better you have no idea. like it doesnt even freaking matter how long its been since we've spent time together, we can always find each other again. like yesterday, hanging out with her and then her staying for dinner and some good talks in the car. and then today like driving her car, getting mcdonalds, and lying in bed together. and she just makes me smile. then being with my funny parents and going to superwalmart and then seeing a nice movie... wimbledon. like its a really good end of the week.

can you believe this jeanne thing? it seriously pisses me off. i have sooo much work to do i can't even contemplate it. lets list it cause i have nothing better to do. study for FR of chem test, buncha calc problems, spanish hw, misc. english work, history reading/studying, 12 pages in the art journal. pppplus all the hall decorations i have to make in numerous quantities (such as stars, a marquee, movie posters, etc.). soooo yeah i got stuff to do. dunno where to start exactly. if i can get through it all... call me superwoman. sigh ...

im too tired to even outline my insecurities. lets just leave it to the future, when i'm sure i'll even have more to say.

i still feel alone in my heart. don't you?

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alwaysfalling

:: 2004 25 September :: 12.55am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: tps - brand new colony

i really hate crying about school.
the thoughts about everything just won't go away and i just can't take it and just breakdown.
looking at those pictures from orlando, thought those could cheer me up, but they didn't.
i got my psych test back today and i was just like.... what am i going to do?
like i have no freaken clue.
how am i going to do this?
is it possible?
can this hurricane just take me away?

<3

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spinoangel

:: 2004 22 September :: 10.39pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: konstantine

tears falling down my face for reasons no one could guess why.

its so fucked up and i remember when tears were from a broken heart, not a fucking broken spirit and loss of faith in love. what the hell have i become? i know you dont understand what im talking about. its just so lonely trying to pretend like i actually feel passion and love when im just trying to fool myself. i dont trust people anymore

and you don't wanna look much closer cause you're afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky by now had crashed

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