:: 2003 16 November :: 10.09 pm
:: Mood: chipper

:-)
Im happy, and that worries me because I kno that when good comes so does bad, the ying yang type thing. I was just talking to a friend about that and he completely knew where i was when i said that. There are a few new guys that are prospects and thats always good....really good. I am letting go of grudges, and school and my new school is getting easier to go to, im almost enjoying it!LOL i just got back from dinner w/ a really fun friend, she always amazes me in some way w/ her personality, i luv being around her! LOL (you kno who you are) and im looking forward to be around someone xoxo lol byes

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:: 2003 11 November :: 4.29 pm
:: Mood: sick

~*Cute*~
Hey, I was sick today, so i missed more school. I dunno whut i had but it kinda sucked. I got a call today and it was one of my teachers, Mr.Ndiangu'i and he called and had my class sing happy birthday to me! It was sooo sweet, then he asked why i wasnt in school and i told him i was feeling ill. he had the whole class scream FEEL BETTER AMBER and COME BACK TO SCHOOL SOON it was so cute. I dont think ive ever had a teacher do that before. For once someone acutally did make me feel better! LOL ttyl later

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:: 2003 9 November :: 8.25 pm
:: Mood: bouncy

Happy
I had a friggin awesome b-day, it went pretty much just as i had wanted. There were no problems(like there normally are at pretty much every party i have ever been to in my life). Ali,Anne,Amanda,Michelle,Kelsey and i went to Beatniks(my fav coffe shop and aparently Michelle's now also). We stayed there and listened to the British guy sing while we drank our carmel shakes(w/ coffee). We then took Anne's car becuz it was bigger and like had fun w/ Tommy. Hehe and Michelle it would have been frickin hilarious if the cop had given u a ticket for j-walking after all this time. Then we went to Jalapenos and like had a bad experience w/ a uber rude lady but lol my mom made her apologize so its all good. We weren't really hungrey but i had fun cuzz we brought up old memories so that was tubular. Then we went to see Love Actually which i liked but was REALLY embarrased about seeing certain scences(porn) w/ my mom like 2 ppl away from me! That was a lil more than horrorifying! LoLz! But anyway we went back home after that and stay up till like almost 6 and finally went to bed. Ali and i sang alot but i loved it, and i totally missed singing w/ her. We got up like at 10 and watched Finding Nemo which is really cute and after that we just watched movies and ate fattening foods. LOL I have a new obsesion w/ cheese puffs which is NOT GOOD. LOL I just finished my b-day dinner whih consisted of mashed potatos,fruit,oreo ice cream cake and other stuff that im not recalling right now but it was umm ummm good. THANK YOU to everyone that was at the party i loved it and it turned out perfect!MMWWWAAAH and thanx for the gifts! XOXOXO Byes

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:: 2003 5 November :: 6.46 pm
:: Mood: amused

B-day
HHHEEELLL YYAAA! Ok im finally gunna be 15! Im excited for saturday, and everyday up untill it cuzz i get lotz o presents!!! Yay! And to ya'll who kno something you shouldnt( it involves noises) shhhhhhhhhhhhh

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:: 2003 25 October :: 5.25 pm
:: Mood: calm

Read this, it gave me chills!
> Daddy's Day at School
> >
> > Her hair was up in a ponytail
> > Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
> >
> > Today was Daddy's Day at school,
> > And she couldn't wait to go.
> >
> > But her mommy tried to tell her,
> > That she probably should stay home.
> > Why the kids might not understand,
> > If she went to school alone.
> >
> > But she was not afraid;
> > She knew just what to say.
> > What to tell her classmates
> > Of why he wasn't there today.
> >
> > But still her mother worried,
> > For her to face this day alone.
> > And that was why once again,
> > She tried to keep her daughter home.
> >
> > But the little girl went to school,
> > Eager to tell them all.
> > About a dad she never sees
> > A dad who never calls.
> >
> > There were daddies along the wall in back,
> > For everyone to meet.
> > Children squirming impatiently,
> > Anxious in their seats.
> >
> > One by one the teacher called,
> > A student from the class.
> > To introduce their daddy,
> > As seconds slowly passed.
> >
> > At last the teacher called her name,
> > Every child turned to stare.
> > Each of them was searching,
> > For a man who wasn't there.
> >
> > "Where's her daddy at?"
> > She heard a boy call out.
> > "She probably doesn't have one,"
> > Another student dared to shout.
> >
> > And from somewhere near the back,
> > She heard a daddy say,
> > "Looks like another deadbeat dad,
> > Too busy to waste his day."
> >
> > The words did not offend her,
> > As she smiled up at her Mom.
> > And looked back at her teacher,
> > Who told her to go on.
> >
> > And with hands behind her back,
> > Slowly she began to speak.
> > And out from the mouth of a child,
> > Came words incredibly unique.
> >
> > "My Daddy couldn't be here,
> > Because he lives so far away.
> > But I know he wishes he could be,
> > Since this is such a special day.
> >
> > And though you cannot meet him,
> > I wanted you to know.
> > All about my daddy,
> > And how much he loves me so.
> >
> > He loved to tell me stories
> > He taught me to ride my bike.
> > He surprised me with pink roses,
> > And taught me to fly a kite.
> >
> > We used to share fudge sundaes,
> > And ice cream in a cone.
> > And though you cannot see him,
> > I'm not standing here alone.
> >
> > "Cause my daddy's always with me,
> > Even though we are apart
> > I know because he told me,
> > He'll forever be in my heart"
> >
> > With that, her little hand reached up,
> > And lay across her chest.
> > Feeling her own heartbeat,
> > Beneath her favorite dress.
> >
> > And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
> > Her mother stood in tears.
> > Proudly watching her daughter,
> > Who was wise beyond her years.
> >
> > For she stood up for the love
> > Of a man not in her life..
> > Doing what was best for her,
> > Doing what was right.
> >
> > And when she dropped her hand back down,
> > Staring straight into the crowd.
> > She finished with a voice so soft,
> > But its message clear and loud.
> >
> > "I love my daddy very much,
> > He's my shining star.
> > And if he could, he'd be here,
> > But heaven's just too far.
> >
> > You see he was a fireman
> > And died just this past year
> > When airplanes hit the towers
> > And taught Americans to fear.
> >
> > But sometimes when I close my eyes,
> > It's like he never went away."
> > And then she closed her eyes,
> > And saw him there that day.
> >
> > And to her mother's amazement,
> > She witnessed with surprise.
> > A room full of daddies and children,
> > All starting to close their eyes..
> >
> > Who knows what they saw before them,
> > Who knows what they felt inside.
> > Perhaps for merely a second,
> > They saw him at her side.
> >
> > "I know you're with me Daddy,"
> > To the silence she called out.
> > And what happened next made believers,
> > Of those once filled with doubt.
> >
> > Not one in that room could explain it,
> > For each of their eyes had been closed.
> > But there on the desk beside her,
> > Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
> >
> > And a child was blessed,
> > if only for a moment,
> > By the love of her shining bright star.
> > And given the gift of believing,
> > That heaven is never too far
> >
> > They say it takes a minute to find a
> > special person, an hour to
> > appreciate them, a day to love them, but
> > then an entire life to forget them.
> >
> > Send this phrase to the people you'll never
> > forget and remember to send
> > it also to the person that sent it to you.
> > It's short message to let them know that
> > you'll never forget them.
> >
> > If you don't send it to anyone, it means
> > you're in a hurry and that
> > you've forgot your friends.
> > Take the time...to live and love.
> >
> > Until eternity. God bless
> >

Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 21 October :: 9.35 pm
:: Mood: pissed off

What the fuck?
Okay, I go through ALOT of trouble to do this tubular trip to Orlando seeing Alkaline trio,staying in REALLY nice resort,screwing around in Dinsey, and eating at really nice places. I had to go thu alot of shit w/ my parents(who were awesome about this). This all originated from a friend of mine saying that he was mad that I havent been a fan as long as him and that he would be very displeased if i went(not in those words). So i was like ok, ill take you to, but its his best friends b-day that day and him who really loves the band to so i agreed to TAKE HIS FRIEND on this trip.Well then I wanted to take a chick friend cuz it would blow w/out her, but it turns out she cant go. So he is acting all bitchy to me when i am doing HIM this huge favor and i pretty much tell him its not worth it. He gets all pissed and weirded out and i was like bye. So i talk to another friend and i find out that he thinks this is like some kind of DATE OR SOMETHING! OMG What a freak! What on gods green earth would make him think that? I liked him 2 years ago! He has a gf! I DO NOT LIKE HIM,I WILL NEVER LIKE HIM! and he blew me off on something that was really important to me earlier apparently for the exact same reason.(To the person that told me this info, im sorry but i had to get advise). I need help and advice ppl, am i in the wrong? Im so sick of this shit, i am honestly done w/ it!GRRRRR and ps, to whom this goes out to FUCK YOU,YOU ARE NOT WORTH JACK SHIT

1 thought | Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 18 October :: 11.55 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Alkaline Trio's This Could be Love

Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 15 October :: 10.22 pm
:: Mood: excited

Halloween!
Yay! Im at my aunt and uncles for Halloween meaning no limits! I can be w/ my friends on a Friday night as late as I want and I can do pretty much whutever I want! I dunno why God gave this to be but im sure glad he did!WooHoo! Hell ya!

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:: 2003 12 October :: 11.09 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

Fuck you!
To one person, fuck you, you should kno who u are!

Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 11 October :: 1.41 am
:: Mood: happy

Whats up?
Hey, just got back from the movies,had a tubular time. My friend amanda and i like put red gel in our hair and hers turned out really good but mine turned out pretty shity but thats ok becuz once i washed it out, it stayed pink so im happy.We saw School of Rock which wasnt bad, then we walked around and went to Outback w/ an uber hot waiter. He was fun, i wanted to take him home!LoLz!Anyway!i ment some new ppl which was neato and yea, i had a better time than expected!Yay!I rock LoLz(im not concided, im just confident) LoL!Byes and thanx Anne,Amanda, and Michelle your fuckin awesome!

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:: 2003 10 October :: 5.05 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Why??
why are we judged on what you wear and what you listen to? ok it is so odd coming from me of all ppl but i now understand. i truely never understood what ppl meant when they said"dont label me". i never even agreed w/ it untill now.i hate that i am becoming, or even just wearing and listening to what i want and some ppl (who will never be mentioned) dont think its me. of all ppl, you kno that i wouldnt change myself to make other ppl happy becuz i dont believe in that. i change becuz i want to and i like whut im becoming. i am no poser, and though no one has said that, they implied it. we really are all posers no matter who u are! its like calling someone tall! if you are a friend of mine, will you just support me?thanx byes

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:: 2003 1 October :: 9.00 pm
:: Mood: 1/2 and 1/2

letting something out in the open
ok anyone who knows me is gunna kno whut im saying and im gunna regret this...for a long long time to come.i liked this dude alot, but i would have never gone out w/ him(ever).that is an uber cleshe(how ever u spell it). he doesnt like me, and i liked him but i still would have never gone out w/ him. i want him to do something for me cuz ive done lotz of things for him, and he refuses.where the hell does that put me?im his bitch! im pissed, he is unreliable and i cant trust him yet somehow i would do anything for him!even though i dont like him anymore, its almost like ill never move on from liking him 2 years ago! whut in the hell should i do?and if u keep the comments annonymous it will make it easier to hear, and please be truthful. im uber confused!

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:: 2003 28 September :: 12.21 am
:: Mood: aggravated

pissed
i hate someone w/ all my heart, i cant even explain how much i cant stand him. im mean really, he is the pon scum of the earth. he doesnt kno jack shit. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

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:: 2003 28 September :: 12.07 am
:: Mood: blank

grr and yay
im mad and happy. i had a great day and a crappy day.im so nutral, im in trouble w/ a friend but i deserve it, well i dont jeremy deserves it.but ill let her believe it was my fault becuz i shouldnt have allowed it to happen.

Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 27 September :: 11.27 am
:: Mood: bouncy

Shopping!
Im going shpping w/ my mom.......and jeremy and his mom.How weird! Im freaked, thats the mixing of my worlds, im freaked!

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:: 2003 25 September :: 5.53 pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: Adam's Song

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:: 2003 22 September :: 10.08 pm
:: Mood: livid

mad
unexplainably mad, im shaking, im hateful, im gunna scream, anyone who kno's me, knows whut happened.ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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:: 2003 20 September :: 1.29 am
:: Mood: amused

im happy
im happy, content, even though i fell on my ass today in front of everyone in the commons in a skirt, you would think i am embarresed but suprisingly im not! how weird is that?i actually found it quite humorous! oh hell it was damn funny! and another odd thing, im actualy starting to approve of jeremys g/f's or soon to be gf's. i never have before (except for michelle). i went to bed at 4:30 at night and didnt freakin wake up untill 11:30! my schedual is gunna be so freaked up now!dammit oh well, to damn bad. l8rz

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:: 2003 14 September :: 11.55 am
:: Mood: annoyed

y?
Ok screw my other journal, lifes not simplistic! It sux! Something simple and innocent turned into a full fleged war.Gawd, i feel sorry for one party but not the other. Guess who!

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:: 2003 13 September :: 12.32 am
:: Mood: amused

Simplistic
Lifes good, but not easy. Its all how you look at it i guess:-)

Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 6 September :: 12.40 pm
:: Mood: sad

Tears
Im sick, i just found out that my grandma who i love w/ all my heart has fast acting cancer, my other grandma had a stroke on the same day and tomorrow is grandparents day. I feel like shit. This is one of the worst days ever. Bye

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:: 2003 30 August :: 9.52 am

wiped out!
Fuck yea, I am sooo wiped out from last night! I am like a mess but it was hella hella fun!Amanda, Michelle,Jeremy, Jerrid, Kyle(i think, he's awesome),Casey,Mike,Lindsey,Caitlynn, Mia,Kristen, and Jon were there. Plus I knew two ppl from Canterbury! I was shocked! We were all in the mosh pit, for like the whole time. Michelle had to leave early with sucked but thats ok. And alot of the guys were sick prior to last night so by the end they were looking pretty ruff. I kno Jeremy was like pulled out by his mom but thats it. I think 4 bands played before Twisted Method, I only caught 3 becuase I was in line(which I eventually just payed them off to let me in).Amanda's knee popped out and ppl thought she ment up so they like lifted her up! It was like funny and really bad at the same time!I am so shocked I had a good time, I mean that normally isn't my thing and I thought it was fuckin awesome! I was such a mess when I got home, I was all wet and dirty and my mom was like what the hell happened? And so I told her alot about it which I will probably regret later. I took a shower I got home and I drank like a gallon of water! The best part was...(call me about it, im not puting it out there!). L8rz

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:: 2003 18 August :: 8.34 pm
:: Mood: bouncy

1st Day!!
Today was my first day! Everything went tubular and there werent any problems.Yay!!!I found all my classes ok and all the teachers were sooo nice!So were lotz of the teens, i was so happy!:-)There is a whole different feel there, and i love it! WOOHOO! One class I had 12 book for only that class.;-( it kinda sux.Oh well i have a top locker and i just got tons up stuff for it Yay!L8rz

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:: 2003 14 August :: 1.11 am
:: Mood: confused

How do you.......
How do you brake off a friendship the easiest way???One of mine just takes to much about of me.What do I do?

4 thoughts | Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 8 August :: 11.22 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: She Fuckin Hates Me

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:: 2003 6 August :: 9.15 pm
:: Music: Linkin Park:Meteora

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:: 2003 24 July :: 1.11 am
:: Mood: amused

Montata
Im going to Montana for a family reunion, need I say more?

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:: 2003 23 July :: 3.07 am
:: Mood: anxious

R-rated
LOL!
SEX IS A TEMPTATION
CAUSED BY A SENSATION
WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS DICTATION
IN A WOMANS VENTILATION
DO YOU GET MY CONVERSATION?
OR DO YOU NEED A DEMONSTRATION?

SKY IS BLUE
WATER IS WET
I'LL MAKE YOU COME
I'LL MAKE YOU SWEAT
PRESSED AGAINST MY BODY
MOVIN UP AND DOWN
SLOWLY BUT FIRMLY
WE WILL MOVE THE GROUND

SEX IS EVIL
SEX IS A GAME
ONE NIGHT OF PASSION
NINE MONTHS OF PAIN
BABYS A BASTARD
FATHERS A GIT
ALL BECAUSE THE CONDOM SPLIT!

ROSES ARE RED
GRASS IS GREEN
OPEN YOUR LEGS
AND I'LL FILLYOU WITH CREAM

SEX IS LIKE MATH
YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES
ADD THE BED
DIVIDE THE LEGS
THEN MULTIPLY!!!!!!!

SEX IS GOOD
SEX IS FINE
DOGGY STYLE OR 69
JUST FOR FUN
OR GETTING PAID
EVERYONE LIKES GETTING LAYED

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:: 2003 21 July :: 7.58 pm
:: Mood: annoyed

Gawd!
PPL keep on yelling at me today! I mean when I'm talking to my friends they all say I act to old, "Youre a 30 year old in a 14 year old body" I believe are the exact words. Then I talk to my shrink an he yells at me for talking all night! One is for being to mature and the other for being immature! I can't go either way!!!!I'm tired becuz I only got like 5 hours of sleep.LOL!But we're gunna stop.Tear tear lol!Bye

1 thought | Tell me what you think!

:: 2003 4 July :: 3.15 pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: Island in the Sun

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