VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 31 March :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: Creepy
This too
You are a moon shadow. With the moon as your source
you are a being of great mystery. Constantly
drifting, you descend into darkness to conceal
your brokenness. You have come to believe that
you are the only one you can rely upon for
constancy and safety that you need. But those
who know how to see you find enchanting beauty
in your wistfulness and fragility. It is to
them that you should flee, for their arms are
an open haven where your true light can finally
thrive..(please rate my quiz cuz it took me for
freaking ever to create)
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 31 March :: 11.14pm
:: Mood: Amazed
I thought this was appropriate to put because of how true it is
FROZEN QUEEN/ KING
You dont want love to come through to you. You like
it the way you are. To be unreachable, no need
to show feelings. Hiding everything inside you.
You are already used to it. You say yourself
that you dont need anyone, that you stand on
your own two feet or that you dont have time
for these things. But in reality you are scared
to get hurt. You feel save where you are: by
yourself, nobody can hurt you there. You
invent your own relationship in your dreams.
You just need to know that you COULD get a
partner.
Thats it.
PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 30 March :: 3.05pm
:: Mood: chipper
I stayed home today, I really dont feel good... I think I'm all achy because of my gym class.... I'm swimming... obviously because its UBER fun... but yeah, I just... dont feel good so I stayizzled home...
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 28 March :: 10.08pm
:: Mood: frustrated
I am such a bd friend
Kelly imed me today and she didnt have a reason... which shocked the hell out of me because the only person who ever ims me is Brandi... so I kinda told Kelly this and she stopped... talking to me... I feel really stupid right now because I love talking to Kelly because... I dunno... because she used to get me... even when I didnt get me... or at least she appeared as though she got me.... yeah.. but now I feel like hitting myself.. or hurting myself in some other destructive manner...
Damn Me...
Becca
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 27 March :: 9.48am
:: Mood: crappy
Dairy Queen
The highlight of my day yesterday was that Wendy and I went to Dairy Queen in Mom's car.... and if any of you actually knew why that had some signifigance I'd give you money.
Right now I'm like really really bored. John has his friend over so I cant listen to music... but yeah, I have nothing to do... I might go play blackjack somewhere... but I dunno....
I yelled at Amanda yesterday. I dunno why but I dont feel bad. A lot of things have changed, I mean, even me in a sense. She's trying to hold on to last year like I was, but its fruitless, its never gonna be the same. She asked me if I think of her as one of my friends, and I do, but then again I think of the Pop Machine by the gym my friend because it gives me caffine.
I do still think of all of my friends from last year as my friends but we're not as close as we were last year and we never will be again and its stupid to think that we will. I guess I dont really expect things from them because I am my own person now... I'm not Becky and Brandi anymore... just Becca.
A lot of things changed. And a lot of things changed me.
You know, my parents were thinking about sending me to Anchor Bay next year because my life was in danger here... I could be with my best friend! But no, they wont because Brandon might be getting out of 'jail' this summer and she doesnt want John home alone so once again, I get the short end of the stick.
Maybe when I get jumped and killed they'll realize how bad of an enviroment East Detroit is for a panaphobic little white girl
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 26 March :: 8.11pm
:: Mood: pissed off
God damn friends
Someone, I'm not gonna mention who, told me something yesterday. They told me that Kelly and Amanda were treating them like shit. They explained to me HOW they were and it reminded me of last year when Amanda used to whine to me because she thought that Kelly didnt like her. Kelly never really pays attention to us and Amanda didnt like that. Amanda thought that Kelly hated her with a passion and thought she was annoying. Now, now, Amanda is treating that... person... like Kelly used to treat her. And she is treating me like it, although I dont care. It just pisses me off that they can treat a friend like that.
I dunno, maybe I'm out of line... but I really dont care that much anymore...
I'm out
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 24 March :: 7.27pm
:: Mood: cheerful
SWIMMING IS UBER FUUUN
I had my first day of swimming today, it was so much fun even though I forgot like half of the shtuff I needed... I wanna do it again! It was really really really really really really really really really really fun! And tomorrow Becky is(or might... I dunno) swimming! SO IT WILL BE UUUUBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR fuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love having uber fun. Uber fun is the best... I LOVE UBER FUN!
Okay, I done now. Adios.
Becca
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 22 March :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: confused
| out of ur friends who: | | has tha best smile::: | I cant remember | | has tha best eyes::: | Kelly | | most trustworthy::: | Amanda | | most sexxiest::: | Kelly or Shayna | | most honest::: | Brandi | | best house::: | Brandi | | best personality::: | Brandi and Kelly | | most crazy::: | Brandi | | has tha most blonde moments::: | Kelly or myself | | has tha best parents::: | ... I dunno... | | most classes with u::: | Eric I guess... if you can call him a friend | | best singer::: | Kelly | | most artistic::: | Me! No... uhh... Brandi and Kelly can do srtistic things... good? |
Friends brought to you by BZOINK!
| Say what comes to you when you read it... | | Linkin Park: | Kennedy Park | | Rock: | I love my pet rock | | Valentine's Day: | Chocolate OD | | Boring: | Mrs. Russo | | White: | Flag | | Cinema: | Silver | | Phone: | Wendy | | Bed: | Please | | Hot: | -cough- | | Friend: | Brandi | | Comics: | Lenore | | English: | Mrs. Orsini | | Insane: | Mrs. Orsini | | Heat: | er | | In The End: | Only kindness matters | | Sadness: | blue | | Moon: | stone | | Mirror: | shard | | Tension: | neck | | Hunger: | homeless | | Rest: | in peace | | Darkness: | Heartless | | Butterfly: | crushed | | Thoughts: | Once upon a time | | Pepper: | salt | | Dictionary: | tourniquet | | Life: | or something like it | | Death: | or something like it | | Me [lol]: | M-e+asterbater |
What comes to you brought to you by BZOINK!
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 22 March :: 10.39am
:: Mood: bored
SURVEYSS
| EXPERIENCES AND THE LIKE | | WHAT IS YOUR BEST EXPERIENCE?: | I guess that would have to be when I went to that concert, just me and my mom | | WHAT IS YOUR WORST EXPERINCE?: | ... not gonna say | | WHATS THE MEANEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE?: | turned my back completely on a friend who needed someone | | WHATS THE MEANEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE TO YOU?: | Misunderstand everything that I stand for, or ignore me after all I've done for them | | EVER TOLD A LIE?: | yes | | EVER GOT CAUGHT OUT LYING?: | yeah... | | EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE A BAD PERSON?: | all the time | | WHATS THE FUNNIEST MEMORY YOU HAVE?: | Funniest? When Brandi and I were on the phone calling Travis and she got all confused... I'm so borning... | | WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD FUN?: | Somedays | | DID YOU ENJOY HIGH SCHOOL?: | you mean.. DO I? Uhhh kinda | | WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER?: | I wanted to be a singer | | IS THIS WHAT YOU THOUGH YOU'D BE DOING WHEN YOU WERE A KID?: | Yeah, I thought I would be a singer | | ANY BIG REGRETS?: | YES | | EVER BEEN ARRESTED? WHAT FOR?: | Not yet no... | | IS THERE ANY THING YOU WISH YOU'D NEVER DONE?: | Yeah... | | IS THERE STUFF YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE?: | All the time | | WHATS YOUR WORST DRUNKEN EXPERIENCE?: | When I fell down the front porch after wishing this guy a hapy birthday on new years... I wasnt even drunk | | EVER HAD A CAR ACCIDENT?: | yes | | EVER PHYSICALLY HURT SOMEONE?: | yes... | | EVER CHEAT AT A TEST?: | yes... | | EVER BEEN THE OTHER WOMAN/MAN?: | no? | | EVER HAD A TERRIBLE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE?: | hee hee no | | EVER BEEN DUMPED?: | Yes I have | | WHATS THE WORST WAY YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED?: | Over the phone | | WHATS THE WORST WAY YOU DUMPED SOMEONE?: | ... I dunno... but I broke up with my sisters bf for her over teh phone and he thought it was her.... | | WHATS THE BEST GIG YOU EVER SAW?: | ... what? | | WHAT WAS THE WORST GIG? WHY?: | ^ | | WHO IS YOUR BESTFRIEND. WHY?: | Brandi, because she knows what I'm thinking all the time, her and I are two of the same person kinda... cept her kind of music sucks.... moo. | | ANY WORDS OF WISDOM?: | There is always someone who loves you more than you know |
EXPERIENCES AND THE LIKE brought to you by BZOINK!
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 21 March :: 11.30pm
:: Mood: cranky
I have a headache
I'm really tired and I have a sinus headache... I miss the Wall... that Wall was so damn seksay... I miss it...
Yeah.. so... stuff
I'm having another issue... thats really not an issue... just ... a... person issue... but I'll just ignore it until it goes away, like I'm so good at doing....
I GONNA PUT A QUOTE!
"Just because the majority of the population does it doesnt make it right"
which is true...
From now on... I'm gonna live my life so its worth reading about...
Alright, I'm outtie,
peace
Bec
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 20 March :: 5.54pm
:: Mood: chipper
Yeah, excuse the last couple of entries, I've had PMS for like a month... but I all better now... its safe to come out (no pun)
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 16 March :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: content
I'm pretty bored right now, thinking about some stuff. Wendy already finished her article for VLR so that means the second is sure to come out. Other than that I'm kinda tired and bored, but I'm gonna go upstairs around five and meditate, its good for karma
Peace
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 14 March :: 11.06am
:: Mood: cranky
Friends are stupid (Brandi isn't my friend, she's my family)
I miss my friends. I know that they dont miss me and all because they've already replaced me by now... but whatever. I guess I can just... make... my own friends. But I dont want to. I want mine back. None of my old friends even care. Amanda pisses me off. I'm not mad at Kelly or Melissa for this. But Amanda. She angers me. I dont know why.
Maybe its because she treats me like I'm a five year old. Or like she has to talk to me... but it just pisses me off. And I know she would give the world to never talk to me again...
I've got to breathe
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VampiressHollyMarie
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2004 8 March :: 3.51pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Pussy Liquor- Zombie
God Damn Patience!!
I swear to fuck! She may not have intended but she ruined my life! She keeps ruining it! AND SHE DOESNT EVEN FUCKING CARE! I am still dealing with the fucking aftermath of her little white lie. ME! FUCKING ME! She said that I was her best friend! SHE SAID THAT SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME!
Well you know what, I have never asked her for anything in my life. I always gave. But now I ask something of her.
Go back.
Rewrite history.
And never EVER talk to me.
I hate her. I fucking hate everything that she stands for. EVERYTHING! I fucking hate her. She thinks that she is an individual? She is the BIGGEST FUCKING DRONE I KNOW! Or knew, or thought that I knew. I hate her. There is nothing good or misunderstood about her. I dont want to fucking understand. She dragged me to the dark place. I promised myself that I would never go back. But I am. I'm back. And I'm tired.
So tired.
Of just being here. I lost all of the people that kept me from killing myself.
Do you know what its like to feel trapped and alone all the fucking time and hide it with fake enthusiasm? (fuck you, I dont wanna spell gud twodae)
I'm sick.
There is nothing that anyone could ever tell me that would make this better. I hate her. I will never forgive her, and she doesnt care.
I lost her a long time ago.
They all tell me to fucking forget about it but I cant when it is slapped in my face everyday!
I dont even want to fucking do this anymore.
I havent cut siinnnceee..... November. It'll stay that way. Hopefully. GOD I FUCKING HATE EVERYONE!
I have a thing....
If you're my friend, you'll comment..
Yeah I didnt think so.
2 I can't keep going under |
I've got to breathe
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