another long week...
well i guess today was an ok day...again i was pist at the little things...i am only happy when in band...& sometimes i feel like things are the way they used to be...i'm kinda wishing they were...i miss the good ol days...i'm afraid to let it go...even though the emotion had to leave...

it felt so good...no...GREAT...to be with my friends @ lunch today...i was there for only a few mins. though, but it was so cool & denfinetly worth it...lina looked like she was mad @ me for talking to danny & his friends...hey they are still my friends too...& i can't stand being around joey's hang out...no problem with the friends...just the atmosphere i guess...actually i'm not quite sure what exactly it is...but whatever...i hope i can have more moments like lunch where i can hang with my friends...i felt so i guess wanted because i brought motrin for my friends today & they were like little kids craving chocolate...lol it was funny...but yeah...

i'm thinking of droping spanish...it turns out now they changed the damn class to AP instead of keeping it an Honors class...so now i'm required to take the AP exam for it...i'm not sure i'm gonna be ready for it...i only wanted to take spanish for my own sake since i know nothing at all...but that's kinda like too much pressure for me...but if i do take it it looks good for colleges...but i dunno yet...i think i'll stick with it, but i just kinda don't have that motivation for it...actually i never did...hmm...

we have a yardsale again @ denisse's house...hopefully we sell some shit tomorrow...we were raising the money to go somewhere but i found out the price we figured earlier now rose up so i have to discuss that with the "ppl"...i guess i'm gonna keep cleaning & get rid of the anger i've had all week from the stupid things that the stupid one does...talk later.

ha ha...watch out!

Bloody Nightmare


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i miss the way we used to be...
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are,
I had to find you, tell you I need ya,
And tell you I set you apart,
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start,
Running in circles, coming in tails,
Heads on a science apart,

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart,
Questions of science, science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart,
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start,
Running in circles, chasing tails,
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard,
I'm going back to the start

this day was never meant to be...
i just had a bad day i guess...i hate it when i take bad things so literally that it makes it a bad day...here's from last night...

well it was raining so i went walking with danny to talk to him just about life i guess...we walked around for maybe 45 mins or so...when i got home i guess i was really tired so after i ate some & talked on the phone with him i fell asleep...AT 8!!!...WTF?...whatever...

i woke up this morning at 6:30...figured i'd check & see if there was 0per yrbook class today...not only was i there early but i had my sax & trumpet with me...& i had just realized that school didn't start til 8:20 this year...so i walked my ass all the way to the band room...& was so fking tired & hot that i decided to call danny & see if he was up yet...i called & he said he was just about ready anyways & was gonna come & meet me in the front of the band room...he came & we then went to big john's...THANX AGAIN!!!...joey called me & i missed the call so i returned it...we kinda just talked bout nothing which kinda got me annoyed but whatever...i think danny was kinda *eh* bout me talking to him, but whatever...i got root beer & gummy bears to share with joey...but when i got there & waited for him, i saw him park & leave...nothing to say not even looking for me...i was mad from that point on...

danny tried cheering me up...the only thing that made me all giddy was the fact that BAND IS GONNA KICK ASS THIS YEAR!!!HELL YEAH!!!...but the lights went out & scared the shit out of me...i'm afraid of the dark by the way...so yeah it was cool though...

i thought that joey was gonna be in the front of the school so i looked for him there & then i saw him toward the quad so i walked my ass off some more...we then went to bj's & lunch was ok...i didn't feel good & lina kept smacking my ass...i have no feeling in it now...whatever...

i so miss my friends & no one would believe me if i said it so i haven't really told anyone bout that yet...i miss the way jaime would just stand around...lu doing work & talking like moses & giving great advice...jpo getting all the insults...danny trying to deliver the insults...denisse & mark & their giddiness...tristan & his himness...joy the ditz...i miss it all...i wish i could be a part of it again...but it's never that easy i guess...all i could do today @ lunch was wish i was there...like things never happened...but whatever...

joey walked me to rodger's class...boring all i did was eat some more...went to mac's & was so happy...elvis music all class period...it was great...our assignment was to think of where we would like to be in exactly a year...i put going to chc of course...it was cool though...i though joey was gonna meet up with me to walk me to spanish but he was already ahead of me...so i said fuck it...then he was coming back cuz i guess they changed the area of his class so then he decided to walk me & i kinda didn't want him to but i didn't want to be a bitch...so yeah spanish was spanish...it always is...i figured i'd go to the band room & meet everyone there...i was jealous of lina cuz ben went to visit her while i was left trying to figure out where the fuck joey was...he was waiting for all of us to meet him in the front...ugh...so we waited there for a long ass time...i just said i was tired so we could go home...i sat in the back of the car...he droped me off & i tried to just leave...lina asked me if i needed help with all my things & i told her no but she kept fking insisting...so i just got out...joey walked me halfway to the door...i huged him & gave him a kiss as usual...he told me to hug him more but duh i had books so wtf am i supposed to do...i just kinda left & was annoyed...when i got online lina told me that joey said he loved me & i said k...kinda mean huh?...i should get over it today...tonight's the VMAs...whatever...i better get going i actually have some homework tonight...talk later.

rriiiight...

Red:
Aren't you the romantic? Life is poetic. If you
don't already, write poetry, you're good at it.

Made by
Sara


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i guess i was the cat in the hat today huh? fuck you too!
well here's my day from yesterday til bout now...

the radio was kinda dull but whatever...we went to hs to eat really quickly & then figured out...HOLY SHIT...WE'RE SENIORS!!!...it still hasn't clicked in though...we decided to go & do something "taditional" for the seniors behalf...tpskcrew rocks!!!...but yeah it wasn't there in the morning...whatever...

this morning i had no trouble getting up...just really cold in my room so i hid under the covers for a while...i got ready quickly though...joey picked me up & i felt special...cool...I REALLY LOVE YOU JOEY!!!

band was ok...nothing special...welcome back...whatever...

gov/econ kinda was alright...i knew ppl would say shit bout me cuz i was wearing a black dress boots & pink & black stockings...i heard someone say as soon as i got into class..."the cat in the hat just walked in"...i felt like laughing my ass off...then kicking him in the balls...fucker...whatever...the rest was ok i guess...

anatomy was cool...hardin seems like a cool teacher...i just better not be a smart ass there...the only thing that bugs me is that there are a bunch of like really preppy ppl in the class...not to mention a bunch of girliegirls & cheerleaders...the whole pt of the class is to disect a cat...i can just see them screaming & running out the door..."omg!!!it winked at me!!!eeewwwwwww!!!"...suck it up bitch!

math analysis was cool...i have it with some of my friends & luke is in the class...interesting...it's math...i have no worries...

english with mac...wow...what a cool woman...another one i'll have to shut up in...otherwise great!

spanish III H...very intimidated by it...but i think i'll be fine...i'm still not comfortable speaking in spanish in front of alot of ppl but i'll get over it...

i got to see joey finally at the end of the day...ben came to pick up lina from school...que cute?...we went with a bunch of friends from school to eat pizza...then i came home...

i'm kinda tired so i guess i filled you in...talk later...by the way thanx to those who leave encouraging & helpful (& fucking funny) comments...YOU GUYS ROCK!!!

closer to the end
i had a wierd dream lastnight...i dreamt i was to play with metalica & i thought i was playing bass...but when i got there to where we were going to play it was like an amusement park...& we were to originally perform on a ride...so we get ready to play on something that moves really slowly...& then i was told that i was in the wrong place & there at the wrong time...the concert already started 20 mins ago...so i ran to the stage to play & i was playing lead guitar...wtf?...then i was told that i was in trouble for getting there late so i had to practice with them...i guess they thought i was that talented...so i get picked up by jaime to go to practice & to my surprise he plays guitar too...so he's giving me tips on "on-stage performance"...then i woke up...

i'm kinda scared to go to school tomorrow...i don't want to see certain ppl & i'm afraid of how things will be with my old friends & my new ones...

i've got the radio tonight...i hope someone listens...gtg & get mentally ready for the challenge of tomorrow...talk later.

can't wait!!!

Keep Him :-)

yeah it figures

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