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I'm worried
This is the first time it has happened. Hopefully it will be the last. Saturday night, Ryan, my brother for those of you who didn't know it, is fighting in the Junior Olympics. It's the first fight of his that I will miss, and I don't want to. I'm worried about his thumb. He broke it a while ago, and it's still healing. If he fights, he's gonna be using small gloves without much padding. Which means more chance of him getting hurt. As much as I pick on him, harrass him, and beat him, I don't like to see him get hurt. He's my brother, and he's also my best friend. I know that he knows what he is doing in the ring, but I still can't help but feel anxiety towards his upcoming match.

I asked a girl on a date for Saturday. I hope it goes well. I'm very interested in seeing where this leads, IF it leads anywhere. I haven't decided on where we're going yet, but I'm sure it'll work out. The funny thing is, I have never really even talked to this person up until a few days...at most weeks ago. She's a sweetheart. Eh. Who knows. I'm gonna go shower now cuz I smell funny from boxing...so...goodnight

craziness....absolute...craziness...
A few weeks ago, I had a bad experience. I was told that I was getting to serious in a relationship. So, it ended. Now, 3 weeks later, this person has a boyfriend that she met...oh...a week, week and a half ago? Kinda...hypocritical, ya think??

i wonder....
I got this idea from dani...the subject just kinda popped up, so I'm gonna run with it

I wonder if she had fun
I wonder if I bored her
I wonder if this will lead to anything
I wonder about her feelings towards me
I wonder why I'm so uptight about dancing
I wonder if I enjoyed it as much as I think
I wonder how she felt when I dropped her off
I wonder about another girl
I wonder where it'll go
I wonder if it'll go
I wonder why I never talked to her before
I wonder why she never appeared so beautiful to me
I wonder if anything will work out
I wonder how Gunnie's doing today
I wonder when in the hell will this thing end...
I think it's ending now...hehe...

That was fun

Not a good thing to say...
I heard some rather disturbing things today. I was talking with a certain person, and they told a story of what they did the day before. I really didn't want to hear that from this person at this particular time...it's...not a good feeling. I'll talk to her about it later. O well...

Enjoy Fun
It seemed so far away. When I was in 6th grade, I remember how big all of the high-schoolers looked, thinking that day would never come for me. It was here. Now it's past. Freshman year, I remember thinking how long 4 years seemed. Heh...now I'm wondering where they went. I'm not ready for this. High school makes me feel secure. And in 9 days, I'm gonna lose my safety blanket. Don't get me wrong, I still want to move on, but in the same way, I want to stay where I am...it's comfortable. I'm gonna miss the people...well...some of them. Other people may be better off staying in high school. Their personalities, attitudes, and actions would be better suited to all the crap that goes on. O well...maybe someday those people will realize what stupid shit that they did...maybe someday they'll realize how wrong it was. Who knows, I just wish them the best.

Don't ask me why I remember this, but at the end of 8th grade, Darci Szanto gave me a school picture of her. On the back, it had the lyrics to The Freshman by Verve Pipe. I can't help but think of how utterly correct the lyrics of that song are...

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
we never talk of our lacking relationships
and how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor
we fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

For the life of me I cannot remember
what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
for the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
we were merely freshmen

Pretty much sums up my attitude in highschool. It's amazing how much a person grows, and matures through these four years of their lives...now it's over...

In awe
Me and Stef were just talking about this...but has anyone ever been in complete awe of the power of storms? I could spend hours sitting at my window watching a thunderstorm. It's one of the most beautiful things to me. Just the amount of raw power coming from nature is completely astounding, and, atleast to me, it kinda puts everything in perspective. How we take everything for granted, and in one instance nature could take it away from us. Think about everything that could happen. Lightning, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes (in michigan? please).

That in turn starts me thinking about how good I actually have it. I have friends that care about me, brothers that I love and love me, caring parents. One person in particular is very intriguing to me. She's a fun-loving, hard working woman. I hate to use cliche's, but she is a question, wrapped in a riddle, and then coated in a sweet, tangy...sometimes tart coating. It's great. She is one of the most honest people I know, and that is one of her qualities that I like best about her. She will give you the straight up truth, no matter what. She's not afraid...most of the time...to go after what she wants, and she seems to know how to get where she wants to be. I'm not completely sure, but when we were flirting in physics last week...I looked into her eyes and saw something. I'm not sure what...it was like her eyes were on fire...maybe sparkling. They are perhaps one of the most beautiful set of eyes I have seen...and whenever I look at her, I can't help but smile.

Anyways...enough gushing...I'm gonna take off...peace!

grr...
I look like a chipmunk. I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled Fri. morning, and now my whole face is swollen up. Tom Debri gave me a new nick-name today at work. He calls me Alvin, as in Alvin and the Chipmunks. O well...it's all in fun, so I can deal with it. I'm so doped up on vicodin it's not even funny. I don't want to be, but it's just that my face hurts so freakin' bad right now.

I love music. I get such a rush from playing it. In band, we're playing a song called Caravan. The last part of the piece I take up an octave, and it's an incredible feeling when I nail it. I don't think there's anything like it in the world.

Prom is next Saturday. Me and Stef are going to dinner with Robbie and Jessica, Andy and Karen, and Michelle. We are going to the Cygnus which is at the top of the Amway building...the big glass skyscraper in Grand Rapids. That should be something to remember. I want the night to be as close to perfect as possible. I'm going with a beautiful lady, we're going with a bunch of friends to a great restaurant, and I want it to be as memorable as possible. I hope this will lead to any type of relationship with her. I don't mean serious bf/gf type of thing. I just would like something a little more than friends, if that makes any sense. O well, if it does, great, if not, I'll enjoy our friendship.

I got my car back on Wednesday. Guess how much it cost...$65. They ordered 3 sensors for my car, hooked it up to the computer and everything, only to find out that one sensor wasn't clipped all the way in. So that's good. The less money it costs me, the better.

I think I've decided to get a computer after graduation. If it's a laptop, it'll be a Sony Vaio. If it's a desktop, it'll either be a HP, Sony Vaio, or an Alienware...I haven't decided yet.

O well, I'm gonna go to bed now...i'm tired and cranky. G'night!

hehe
I have the greatest luck. The girl I may have even the slightest interest in...is now dating the one guy I can't stand...hehe...laugh, it's okay, I am. O well...it'll pass. All things do. I've pretty much given up on girls at this point. I'm just here to have fun. And I am...I think...hehe...g'night.