:: 2008 23 June :: 11.52 am

Woooo just got back from camping!
I'm not really happy to be back.
I had a wonderful time<3
Spent two whole days with muh baby :)
It was all good except I got my period.
And it was freezing at night :(
But oh well. I'll update later :)

Save my sanity

:: 2008 18 June :: 3.57 pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: Coldplay - Violet Hill

Save my sanity

:: 2008 10 June :: 1.31 am

And our lives are forever changed;

It's been awhile.

I graduated tonight. I never ever thought I'd make it through, but here I am. I'm so overwhelmed with emotion and it all seems so surreal.
Highschool gave me some of the best and worst years of my life, not to mention the unforgettable expierneces as well as ups and downs. The past four years have been the most crucial in helping me become the person I am now. Right now I don't really know what to think. I'm scared, I'm happy, and above all I am so proud of myself, and it feels amazing.

I've been stressed to the max the past few weeks, even though it may not show. It's drastically affected my sleeping patterns though.
I also haven't been able to cry, which is deffinatly the strangest thing for me. All I want to do is just break down and let out all this emotion, but no matter what I do or how hard I try I just can't do it. I get teary eyed once in awhile but still have yet to shed a tear, which is suprising considering I thought I would ball my eyes out at grad, but I'm sure it will come eventually.
I'm so glad that it's all over with. All thats left is the grad dinner dance on Saturday which I'm stoked for.

Other than that theres a lot I could write about but I'm exhausted.

Me and Greg drove up to Lake Cowichan on Sunday, we didn't leave until 3 in the aftenoon, so we only stayed up there for a little bit. I met his Grandma and she is so nice and cute! I also met his Uncle Dave who is also really nice. I've been having lots of fun with Greg, I love just being with him he makes me really happy. And once again he is someone I can be with but I don't feel like I need to spend all my time with him, he has his own life and I have mine, and that really makes me value our time together even though we do spend a fair amount of time together.

Anyways, I'll have to try and update more regularly, it's just been really busy lately.

GRAD 08 BABY! Finally over!

Save my sanity

:: 2008 26 May :: 12.39 am

Everything is beautiful when I am with you.

Worked Thursday, Friday & Saturday.
Saturday went to Jason's and watched UFC with Greg, Jason and Johnathon. Then they all went to see the strippers and I hung out with Kisa. Then we picked Brett and Greg up from the bar and stayed at Bretts and didn't get home until 5:30. Slept till 1, took Kisa home and hung out with Greg. We played frisbee and went to my cousins then went and hung out around his house, and sat on this huge rock, it was really nice. I love spending time with him.

I trip over everything you say;

Save my sanity

:: 2008 22 May :: 2.36 pm

It's never to late;

Went to Grans and Gramps for lunch yesterday. It was nice.
Then I hung out with Catherine a bit, I'm glad she moved back here :)
Then hung out with Greg, and he met all three of my cousins.
It feels like hes really skeptical about our relationship working out, which sucks.
But I guess only time will tell.
I really like him, hes just differnt than the people I'm use to.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 20 May :: 12.04 am

Still I hear you say, you want to end your life.

Greg and I are dating now =)
<3

My mom was talking about how my grandpa might have to go for chemo, and I just started crying. I can't picture him losing all his hair and stuff. I hope everything is going okay, I've been trying to just not worry until we know more, but it's difficult.
It's also bringing up a lot of memories of my aunt.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 19 May :: 2.06 am

Summertime & the livin's easy,

Work on Saturday sucked balls. It was so busy and seemed to drag on forever.
After work Jada and I decided to take off camping. So we packed up and headed out.
It didn't take long because we only went to goldstream and we were there by 8:30. The only campsite left was a double so we were sharing it with other people, and they arrived shortly after us. They were German and didn't speak English well, and they stayed in there RV the entire time, why would you pay $24.00 to just sit in your RV.
Anyways we set everything up and got a nice little fire going, and I just felt so accomplished... until I locked the keys in the trunk of the car. At first I didn't know weather to cry or laugh, so I laughed. And we walked down to the ranger station but there was really nothing they could do. I called my mom but she had been drinking and couldn't bring me the spare keys, so fortunatly my neighbour was home and was able to get up to get me them, so things could have been a lot worse.
That night we went to be around 12:30 after chillin around the fire.
We got up at 8:30, which is pretty early for me, but we got up and ate and went to Goldstream park. We walked around there and went down to the nature hut and it was all good. Then we walked back and were gonna hike Mt.Finlayson but decided against it after running up like 100 of these hella steep stairs. It was pretty dope though.
We headed back to our campsite and it was only 10:45. So we made lunch and sat around the fire, then I had a little nap.
We smoked some weed and just chilled.
A lot of little funny things kept happening. And the entire time it felt like such a good expierence, cause I've never been camping without my family before. But I also felt like this wierd sense of confusion but in a funny way.
It was all good so we decided to stay for another night. Well it was about 11:30 and we had sat around the rest of the day and I looked over and saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life, the thing was masive, so being me I freaked and was screaming and Jada wouldnt kill it so I tried to but it got away, and it ran off towards our tent. Well I'm hella terrified of spiders so I refused to sleep in the tent, so we hauled all our shit out of the tent and into the car and were going to sleep there. Then our new camping neighbours rolled up and started a fire and were getting all settled, I have no clue why you would show up at like 11:30 at night but oh well.
I couldn't sleep and I was pretty cranky, which made Jada cranky. So finally I just took down the tent and we drove home. I know that sounds so pathetic but oh well. I had a really good time, it was so chill up there and I was so carefree for the most part.
I also only got hurt twice! I cut my finger but I can barely notice it now. And I dropped the cooloer lid on my thumb and it cut all underneath the nail and bruised it, it actually really really hurts.
Other than that it's all good. And all the park ranger people were so nice! The weather was pretty decent to :) And I thought about Greg a lot whiles I was up there.

Other than camping I totally forgot I have a provincial on Tuesday, so I think I'm hella fucked for that. I'll have to study my ass off.. or just wing it and if I fail i'll have to take it again.

It's weird cause last month at this time I was in Vancouver, and it's just weird that I've gone on little trips around the same time each month. I like it though, it always clears my head and helps me focus, even though this camping thing was only a day.

You've got this new head filled up with smoke;

Save my sanity

:: 2008 15 May :: 11.19 am

I like what you've done with yourself kid.
Don't compromise it for the world.

... A complete stranger said that to me and it totally made my day.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 11 May :: 10.19 pm

I miss you more than words can say.

"The ones we love never leave us"

Standing at your grave wishing you were still here is almost unbearable.
I love you.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 11 May :: 10.19 pm

The key to moving on and my happiness is new bed sheets.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 8 May :: 1.57 pm

I can't let go.

I'm constantly full of emotion.
I'm so ready to move forward in life and just let go of everything, and I don't understand what's holding me back.
Fear I guess.
I don't want to go through everything again.
But at the same time I just don't want to be here anymore.
I don't know if I can.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 4 May :: 11.57 pm

Wishin' I was by your side...

Friday night was ridiculous.
I went over to Kyles and hung out with Brandon and Tylor.
They huffed glue for like five hours it was awful.
But I had fun just chillin. And then me and Kisa drove to Mcdicks at like 5 in the morning and then went down to the beach to watch the sunrise.
Then we realized that it was cloudy and the sun wasnt going to come up.
I didn't get to sleep until like 6:30 and kept waking up every hour until 9. Called into work obviously and slept until 11.
Then just lazed around until Kisa got her lazy ass ready haha.
We hung out with Brett and Greg and played pool, which I'm terrible at but whatever.
Then we got sleepy so me and Kisa slept in Bretts bed and once we layed down we werent really tired so we sat there and made the wierdest noises. Then Brett joined in and oh man we were laying there for atleast an hour and a half just making fucked up noises.
Finally I took Kisa home around 3 and came home, went to bed. Woke up around 11 and was hella cranky.
All my plans got cancled but later on I went over to Kisa's and we went back to Bretts and Brett, Greg, Kisa and I all went to see Ironman again which was just as good the second time around :)
Good week :)

Save my sanity

:: 2008 2 May :: 12.32 pm

When I'm with you
I'm oh so full of emotion these days.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 27 April :: 10.34 pm

Never let go.

Vancouver sucked ass.
My cousin and her boyfriend fought so much, and they both fight so immature.
Not to mention we didn't even end up doing anything really.
Saturday after I arrived we went to Ikea and Sunday we went to Metrotown. Other than that pretty much just sat around and slept.
And I got no sleep, people were always partying.
It just sucked.
But it's not like being back is much better.

Save my sanity

:: 2008 18 April :: 4.58 pm

Leavin fer Vancouver.

Be back in a week.

Save my sanity