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| saywhat? (profile) wrote, on 7-12-2004 at 12:15am | |
| Current mood: tired Subject: every time i write i think it will be the last time |
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| Hmm back on this thing again. I really miss my "real" journals..for some reason this just isnt as hard to write in. My roomates make fun of me when i read random people's journals. But somehow its calming to know that other people go through hard times and eventually things get better. Ive actually learned alot about myself just from reading other peoples diaries. on another note...I went to Traverse City this weekend camping with some people..its a beautiful city im glad i can say ive been there now.....I just wish i would have driven alone because the drive back down was really thought provoking for some reason.. I woke up early this morning and got out of the tent..i didnt really know where i was going but i ended up down at the water on the swing set..I dont even really know how long i was there or even what i thought about that whole time...sometimes i guess i just feel like losing my brother was just a dream..but in reality my time WITH him seems more like the dream.....i wish i could say that its getting easier to deal with.. maybe the fact that my mom has to take antidepressants just to get through the day, and my dad and stepmom are seperated as of 3 weeks ago has just put salt on the wound...If they get a divorce i searliously have no idea how i will ever be able to have a real relationship...i never had anything to learn from growing up....Im just a result of countless divorces and remarriages and youd never even know it by looking at me. My freinds come to ME with relationship advice, and ive never even been in one....ironic...im almost 20 and i feel a sense of pride and embarrasment about that..why does it feel so good to turn down guys? I think im trying to punish the male race in general...just from what i see them to the women i love in my life...why do i have to be so messed up. I wish i could go one day without analyzing my life |
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everyfallingday | 07-12-04 1:15am heh.. I'm sure that you know me, or that I know you. I'm in Michigan as well. |
saywhat? | Re:, 07-12-04 9:13pm yeah i actually do kind of "know" you. I went to cedar springs for a year a long time ago and ive seen you at the kent theatre a few times because my brothers band plays there. |
everyfallingday | Re: Re:, 07-12-04 9:59pm hm. cool. dusty, eh? |
saywhat? | Re: Re: Re:, 07-12-04 10:07pm yeah, how did you know that? |
everyfallingday | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 07-12-04 10:08pm I think we've had this conversation before. ;) |
saywhat? | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 07-12-04 10:18pm Hmm...odd you're probably right. well fine then..well then in a very round about way i semi-know you.. |