| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| wierdo (profile) wrote, on 1-12-2004 at 5:56pm | |
| Current mood: depressed |
|
| I just can't take this shit anymore. Its really starting to get to me, and its really hurting me now. Its at the point where my grades in my classes are dropping like a brick. I know that all she see's in me is haterid. Nobody understands how bad i feel. How sorry i am. And i truely hate myself. How the fuck could i let something so great slip away from me? I regret it. I regret alot of things that i did. Just how stupid i was and have been. I'm an asshole. And i'm not affraid to say it cause now i'm starting to see what she's been seeing in me now. I'm really ashamed of who i've become now. How i've let all this happen and for being the person i've been for the past few months. I could really care less what any of you t hink about me now. I dont care if you hate me, or you wanna make fun of me for acting like this or for my feelings. I just dont care. The thing is i know my true feelings. And i know that i'm extremely sorry for what i've done and have been doing. I dont care if any of you t hink i'm acting like a pansy and i just need to get over everything. Its not that easy. As a matter of fact its not easy period. I guess the main thing is i just really miss her. This might sound cruel or wierd or something......but i have a mom that lives in texas.....and i actually miss "her" more than my mom in texas. I know it sounds stupid.....but it just still amazes me how she makes me feel. Non like my mom....she's always been there for me. She knows me better than anybody, and she understands me. She knows my strenghts and weaknesses. I just wish i could do something to change everything. I wish sorry was enough. But i dont know what to do to make everything ok again. The deal is i want her back. I'm a disaster without her. For christ sake i can't even tell the difference from a verb and an adjective anymore. I admit it.....even though i'm not with her......i'm still falling head over heels for the girl. But who knows.........i hate myself. Kevin |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
brokenmentality | 01-16-04 9:24pm sorry... |
wierdo | Re:, 01-16-04 9:37pm for what? |
brokenmentality | Re: Re:, 01-16-04 11:42pm i just hate fighting is all...
|
wierdo | Re: Re: Re:, 01-18-04 3:11pm yeah, well its ok. i'm sorry too. I hate fighting as well. And i really hate making you feel like shit too. I just want us both to be happy, and having tension, fights and everything doesn't make me happy. |