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|kangabunny (profile) wrote, |
on 5-21-2004 at 6:46pm
|Current mood: Blah
Music: Pig Charmer-Jerry Cantrell
|New photo/art/writing page.
Here's the fast fiction I've been working hard at.. it's rough to me, I really need an opinion and/or editing.
Our screaming fight ended abruptly with a few of his icy, numbing words. I became aware of the blank expression on my face a few minutes later, but it seemed like I had been standing in our icy silence for hours. I could feel him peering through me, taking me apart.
I came over and examined his fascinating features, and wiped a few limp, black curls from his forehead. The rays of light covered his face in color, and his frozen ocean eyes pierced through me in such an unnatural way. I softly kissed his delicate lips one last time.
I picked up the head and smashed it into the stained glass window.
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hahaaa... RIGHT ON! ;)
good, 06-02-04 9:28pm
hehe its good but you might wanna try using less adjectives next time it kinda bogs it down. for instance, you use icy like 2x in the same para and it is like um i just heard that ok im gonna shut up now hahahah