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sugarmouse0587 (profile) wrote,
on 12-10-2005 at 5:18pm
i'd say i don't care anymore. i think i want that to happen cause i'm not doing a very good job. why can't i have two or three? who says that's wrong? i'm still not over all those stupid things either. it's like it wasn't almost two years ago.

and it's official. again. christmas is horrible. it's so dumb. i don't want presents. i don't want trees or lights or family or friends. i want to do something good for someone who needs me. NOT because it's christmas, but because i should be a good person all year. then maybe i can feel decent. i miss my peepers. i think they're the only thing i don't hate.

i hate everything. la la la lala.

and the paranoia is coming back. good times.

so sad. meh. nothing makes sense. i'm contemplating jumping off a bridge. head's up.

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12-11-05 7:24pm

c'mon beans, be fair. you are a good person, all year 'round.

even good people do bad things sometimes.

the worst thing you could do is jump off a bridge. that would make you a bad person... lol. so don't do it, dammit.

how's about we chill like thursday or friday or something.

and operation crash the hs is still in full effect ... even if i have to do it by myself. :P

later gator lady maker.

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12-14-05 2:34pm

world trade center.
stop being drowning yourself in self-pity.
who the hell has time to do good shit all year long.
be good to the people you care about and to yourself. that is what matters.
this year has been so hard and i find myself crying sometimes just because i miss you so much. i should just call you or whatever, but i never know what to say. i miss gaf, puzzles, making fun of pitler, vudoo lists, hating boys, eating all of my moms food, getting yelled at for the pencil on the table, fuck.
i just miss you. i don't want it to be weird now when i see you.
i just want to be together.

i just want to keep you in a cage under my bed and make you play with me when i want and never let you go back to school or see anyone other than me.

i get so pissed sometimes that i don't have time to get together and when i do i still don't make it happen. i don't know why. i guess sometimes things just feel weird and i don't know how to fix it.

fuck it. i don't like crying, it makes my nose runny. i'm going to be so cute thursday that you won't be able to tell that i am a robot.

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Re:, 12-14-05 2:36pm

*take out the being:)
sorry, i am retarted. i wasn't programed to spell correctly.

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