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violet-winter-fields (profile) wrote,
on 3-23-2008 at 3:08am
Current mood: uncomfortable
Subject: Murr...
So I don't really like feeling this way, and it really sucks. I'm far too paranoid for my own good. I don't want to be this way anymore, but it just tends to happen with me. I need to just work past my suspicions and accept things at face value. I thought I was doing so well with this, but once I start developing feelings for someone, I get hit. Blah, I need to change this part of me. I get told that I'm rather confident so often nowadays, but I usually feel entirely opposite to that. Inside I'm just a scared child, both afraid of reaching out and potentially getting burned, and also being alone. I wonder if I'll ever break the cycle. I wish things were different. I wish I knew how to deal with this. Most of all, I wish I knew what the future holds for me. I really need to get over this feeling. It's what fucked up basically all my past relationships. I won't let it fuck up any more.

Sorry, just ignore the emo as it's not typically me. I just need to know there are people out there who know what I'm going through. People who care. People who'll accept all of me for who I am.

Why am I so dependent?

Argh, good night.
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03-23-08 7:12am

I know how it feels to be told that I'm confident but feel like the world is caving in. I know it better than I'd like to admit. All you have to know is that there are lots of peole who want you to be happy.

Hell, this one wants you to be happy all the time. I'm always here for you if you need a shoulder to rest your head, okay? No matter what events happen, I'll always be your friend. I don't abandon friends.

Never ever.

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