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butterfly (profile) wrote,
on 9-23-2008 at 11:04pm
I finally had the break down I knew was coming... at work. Not fun. My boss/friend, Ryan, pulled me into a room and let me cry my heart out, then I continued on throughout the day, feeling no better, but thinking it was done. Then I get in my car and get ready to go home, flip on the radio and "Chasing Cars" (our song) came on. Everything went all through me and I lost it again. I can't wait for this stage to just be over.
I love him. As horrible as it is, I don't want to love him anymore, because then everything won't hurt so bad. I know that'll never happen. Kelly was/is a HUGE factor in my life, and he'll always have my heart.

I don't know if I'll continue on with this thing... it was kind of a place for he and I. Plus all my friends were originally his friends and I don't quite know how the feelings are with them and I anymore. I still love them, but... I don't know.
Fuck. I wish this didn't hurt so much.
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09-24-08 12:55pm

No one by any means has said they hate you Rachel. I dont think they would either. If you wish to quit using woohu that certainly is your choice to make.

As for the breakdown(s) I cant help ya with that, in fact I suffer them too in my own way.

I know my love for you wont falter, but I do know that things just werent meant to be, so I[we] need to try and get back up and move on.

...Hopefully just not away from one another. I know it will eventually happen, I just would rather it not happen. Id like to be be able to talk to ya once in awhile and have it be awkward rather than just not being able to talk to you ever.

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