:: 2008 5 August :: 1.51 pm

i decided to consult the i ching about things. i asked about my dear, norway. probably best to stay with him. also asked about the band situation and ow my health would be if i quit. for the most part, it would be better.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 26 July :: 10.22 pm

finally moved in. rather proud of my room

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 23 July :: 6.32 pm

Rant 1: Religion
my therapist is trying to tap into my inner daemon. of course there is a reason i do my best to suppress my inner hell though my suppressed rage continues growing into the belial it can be come. but i have given up on things some and will probably follow the dalai lama's advice: "avoid organised faiths". i must admit that i will probably give up on all these crazy things. i guess i am indeed the pessimist of the century since i do find fault in almost everything. almost. but religion is another matter. judeo-christian religions tend to be contradicting and intolerant, not to mention the texts. most gardenian wiccans do not know half of what they are doing. the others are pretty much fluff bunnies. for the reconstructionist pagans, all i can say is that there's a reason to religion died out of evolved. hinduism is so overly complex when it comes to the gods/goddess/god that after a while one must ask, so what is it exactly? i hear both monotheism and polytheism. new agers, thinking happy thoughts is not, i repeat, NOT, going to make your quartz crystal glow. oh, and the pyrimad power, the mythbusters already busted that. satanism is humanism with rituals. need i say more? and i thought christians were bad about being contradicting. but maybe worse is the atheists that try to destroy other people's faith. they treat atheism like, well... a religion. i guess the only major religion i do not have anything against is bhuddism, but even then, it is philosophy. i must say that i do not have anything against muslims either. i have to many rants at the moment.

1 frightened away | along came SPIDER

:: 2008 22 July :: 12.51 pm

currently borrowing the complex's computer. but anyway things are eventful. i had my ears pierced saturday of last week for the first time. ended up crying that night. i guess you could say i really did not want to do it nor do i particularly want it now. but it is twenty dollars and i might as well keep lest twenty dollars will be wasted. i also have to find the number and such for the college board since my ap test results were supposed to come in june or early july. have not seen a sign of it and july is ending and i am to move finally this weekend. also have to find driving schools. driving is not hard as long as you keep an eye on other people. and speed is not an issue like everyone thinks it will be. but yes i finally took off the masking tape. i am rather looking forward to dolly. i rather like hurricanes as long as they're not above category two. everyone is saying it will hit brownsville though i would not be suprised if it hits us instead. if i remember correctly, was it not like that with katrina? of course, i cannot remember at the moment. but it will not be near as strong. i just remember tropical storm allison. came in and just sat on us for two weeks. but i have no idea why i always want hurricanes to strengthen and hit us. but i am somewhat sociopathic. or it could ust be a love for rain. i am also torn between art science. i have no idea what i am going to be doing. all i know is that designing and building somethihng becomes more and more interesting, especially when it comes to electromagnetism.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 21 July :: 7.15 pm

Norway is still away for now in the DFW area. I managed to snag the computer. finally took the masking tape off. came off very nicely, especiially considering it was on there for weeks. this house was really a waste of money. 183k for a stucco place with a huge master bedroom and a pool along with otehr high maitenerg.... later

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 17 July :: 10.26 pm

my interweb has been out at my apartment since i am to be moving in a house. i am at my grandparents' for a few days. going to the bed though. maybe tomorrow.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 7 July :: 1.44 pm

i heard an interesting theory the other week:

since british people, scottich, irish, and australian people all sound like americans when they sing, americans probably sing english more than other nations.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 1 July :: 9.19 pm

norway is home now. we saw eachother for the first time after three weeks yesterday. apparently one of the bags (the one containing a souveniers) got lost a little in amsterdam and came in today. he brought me back a plastic viking helmet, an adorable moose necklace, and some postcards with photos of nature there. they are very beautiful and make me want to go there. except that i would be crying after the first few days.

i left my permit in my grandmother's car, but she mailed it today so it should be here in a couple of days. focusing on the concurrent textbook work that i have not been doing for the next days and reviewing the handbook.

i also have a goal this week: instead of being jealous of people, be happy for them.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 19 June :: 8.56 pm

i finally have my permit. after over a year. finally.

i believe i finally found a song by dimmu borgir i can take semi seriously... semi.... (and do not ask me what it was; i forgot already)

i walked down the levee this evening and found some nice secluded spots.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 16 June :: 9.26 am

this is my first day at home by myself. it is rather... lonesome. but no matter. i have stuff i am going to do.

satuday night's ballet was a spectacular finale for the season. i waited all season for a doll's house though i was not aware that it was only eleven minutes long. i am particularly fond of its message on war. it takes place in a toy store after the store owner leaves for the night. the aisle containing the dolls comes to life. it starts out a little bo peep doll looks around, though she is killed off within the first few seconds. the dolls go at war with eachother until finally, the ultimate weapon is brought out. in the end, this weapon wipes them all out and nobody wins. it should be pretty clear what the message is. next was an old narrative ballet, la sylphide. basically, a young scottish farmer was about to be married to his fiance when a sylph comes to him on his wedding day and tells him that she loves him and always has loved him and always will love him so he runs away with her. a cloth is given to him while he is chasing her around by the village sorceress and he is told by her that if he wraps around the sylph, she will be his forever. however, when he does this, it kills the sylph and the village sorceress has her revenge on him as he was extremely rude to her earlier in the story. in the distance, the fiance, assuming he ran away, is getting married to his friend. realizing he has lost everything, the young man collapses and dies. that is romanticism for you. but it has been a good season.
this season's highlights:
-petite mort (essentially about sex and the raw powerful aspect of it)
-swansong (a phsychologically based dance about interrogation, human rights, and the brutality of government)
-a doll's house (the point that war is usually started over petty reasons and in the end, nobody wins)

yesterday, i happened to see an old friend of mine at church that i have not seen in years. he and i were able to chat some during my time and he seems to be doing fairly well. i saw him and said wow you changed a lot. and he said, well you ...havn't... really... changed.... which is the truth actually. i seems to get that a lot from people i have not seen in a long while.

i also walked out to the river yesterday. today i am going to cross the bridge and see if i can get to the river the other side of the highway.

then i talked to my friend cha on the phone. i might be able to see her in july. i still am waiting for sox to call me back. i am thinking about bugging embryx and getting started on the music with her.

norway should be coming home in thirteen days. i just hope he has not forgotten about his american wifey.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 14 June :: 7.55 am

mostly vent yesterday. but still a broken promise. cannot trust anyone but yourself, ya?

i am going to be leaving later today. then going to the ballet i have been waiting for all season. i just hope that it lives up to what i hope it is.

i should start the construction plans.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 13 June :: 6.21 pm

norway got his ear pierced without me even though he told me he would take me with him and.....

rip it off to a bloody mess.

went shopping and picked up my first official book about time, space, and reality. it is written by a string theorist, but i must say i like the string theory. kind of funny how the orthodox jews say they have known about ten dimensions for ages. and it is true. i cannot wait to start reading it. but huck finn first. it is amusing, i do not see how so many people found it boring.

i used to dabble in politics but not anymore. i figure there are more important things though politics seems to rear its hideous head and demand its importance over everything else. kind of like me.

my grandmother is going to be working on poem for me. in the key of e which is a little different. fun.

i am thinking about building wings. though they will not be able to fly yet. i have not had tea in a long while. i want a cup.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 12 June :: 7.42 pm

so i finished the amber spyglass. the end was a bit disappointing and i wanted my norway, but of course, he is not here. he said he would write everyday but all i recieved was a comment. i guess you could say i am disappointed about that. but i guess whatever. i am rather tired of this. started on the summer reading. every junior i know said it was so boring. i find it rather amusing. but maybe i am just weird. i am at my grandparents house since i cannot leave mine during the day and i do not want to be home alone all day. my mother refuses to make another key. but i am fine. i got a haircut finally and trimming off dead ends took off two inches. oh well. i took a bit to finally get what i wanted, but it worked out. i almost lost a clip that kristen gave me and nearly broke down because of it, but it was found so i am ok. i hope he does not forget his american while he is in norge.

along came SPIDER

:: 2008 9 June :: 10.32 pm

i just came back from seeing iron man after the crowds. i must admit i am glad i did not see it with the crowds. i am glad that it brought to light what the war really is. and that there really are young americans who go out and give their lives to this cause. i must agree with some: let the politicians who start the wars fight them.

but i am glad that my love is not american. because if the military comes in too short a supply, they will start drafting. as far as i know, they cannot draft non citizens.

4 frightened away | along came SPIDER

:: 2008 9 June :: 12.45 pm

i have been doing laundry. everything so far feels very down to earth.

i have also been reading the amber spyglass more. i actually really like how the metaphysical things are explained.

along came SPIDER