2004 13 May :: 5.34 pm
:: Mood: odd/nutty/crazy/weird
well....i havent written in this forever...i have two journals....but i got tired of the other one and i believe everyone forgot that i still write in here....so i thouhgt ill write an entry and see what kinda of comments i get.....hehe oh wellz...im really tired...like emotionally tired....so much crap is going on....my family is slowly fallin apart...my dad is getting worse with his crap...i feel like crap because im lonely and i want someone to be there for me and stuff....and like i want to be in love and crap...but i feel dumb because im too young to worry about that crap...plus i feel dumb in school....things are gettin hard....everything is a mess...i want to redo my layout....so if anyone will help me....i would be happy....hehe.....sorry for makin this short but i got to go do somethign with my mom.....talk later.....most liekly ill update.....bye
2004 21 April :: 3.59 pm
grrrrrrrr i need to send money...
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2004 14 April :: 8.08 pm
im paying my two dollars to keep this!
2004 9 April :: 4.04 pm
this is my new journal...farewell woohu and farewell the friends i made here...i hope you join me on greatest journal so i could keep in touch....good luck in life everyone...bye
this journal was the best thing i had...278 entries i believe i made...that means lots of memories moments hell...everything!....and 278 poems and quotes and songs...lots has happen since i had this journal and lots of growing has happen...its been good...so now i get to start new..YEY...so bye bye
2004 9 April :: 12.10 pm
well....right now im watching this documentary on umm hbo about children at war...and its sooo sad...this 8 year old was killed...come one...we are all doomed...i mean think about it...over there in isreal and bosnia and stuff they use weapons to hurt each other...gosh its amazing...i mean we are all people we are all the same...why do people have to do these things...we need to some how make peace...im tired...so im going to go...ill be back later and write more...bye..and im searching for a good online journal and once i find it...and its free...ill tell you guys about it and hopefulyl all of you will join me...bye bye
ha i really wish...look at my horoscope...
This may seem just like another ordinary weekday, but by late afternoon, you'll be walking on a cloud. Even if there's no real reason, nothing will be able to wipe that silly grin off your face.
2004 8 April :: 11.37 pm
gah im tired and i dont feel up to anything...i wonder why...soo many reasons to just yea...there is something i really want to do right now but im not going to let myself to do it...grr...oh wellz...i should go to bed soon..but i dont wanna...then this dumb journal...i loved this thing...i mean so much shit on it...but im moving and NO-ONE will know where it is because so much personal stuff i want to write but cant cause people...but i will make 2 different journals...so yea...im out i cant take this crap anymore...grr...bye
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2004 8 April :: 3.44 pm
my horoscope and it sounds good....my new plan is to follow it....You may just feel like taking a vacation today -- not to some exotic island, but from other people. Turn down invitations, order a pizza and hole up in your room -- you'll feel like you spent a week at a resort.
i guess this week im going out a lot...i mean lots...oh wellz.....im not in the mood to enjor anything...gosh right now i could not feel any worse...grr people FUCKING suck...that simple...
Because you loved me I overcome and I'm so proud of what you've become you've given me such security no matter what mistakes I make you're there for me you cure my disappointments and you heal my pain, you accepted my flaws and you protected me.
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2004 6 April :: 3.40 pm
today was another good day...hmm two in a row...uh oh tomorrow is going to be bad...i hope not...my throat hurts...yikes...hehe i havent said that in a while...*sneeze*bless me... im still confused as always...i dont know so much shit going on ib my head...i dont know im not really worry about friends and school at the moment because im trying to set my head straight...its the only thing that can help me out at the moment...we might go to ai friday...but i needed to go to umm the mall cause i needed to look at something for jerricas b-day...yes jerrica...hehe...i cant say what the plans are since she reads this...lol she is going nuts now...im tired...really tired...im tired of everything....i havent really slept in weeks...dont know why etheir...i want to umm do something but cant becuase people are gay...that makes no sense but sure...i cant find my story of the year cd...my bookbag is a mess...oh wellz..im going to go...ill update later with important stuff...BYE
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2004 5 April :: 3.46 pm
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2004 4 April :: 10.52 amBehind The Smile
ahhh i just woke up....it feels weird with the whole daylights saving time...its really 9 now but it says 10...ahh sooo odd...anywho im thinking way too much lately...grr thinking sucks...you look at things diffrently and then you realize why didnt you do that or say that at the moment...its like you notice your mistakes when you put things into perspective...oh wellz...life is full of mistakes and you just got to continue to hold your head up no matter what...today im going to my grandparents house...oh goody...how exciting...im going to the mall with my grandmother to help her buy some shoes and stuff...i love my grandmother so i dont mind...but still its aggravating...because she is like me and picky with things...im going to just walk around the mall because my mom can help her and i havent been to brandon town center or whatever the new name is for a long ass time...i feel weird right now...dont ask me...there are lots of things going on with me...and i dont know how to sort things out because there is soo much and i dont know where to begin...im just sure about one thing...but im not saying what it is...i feel like being smart today liek writing one of my long thingys about love or something...i dont know...but am lazy today because im soooooo tired...still from yesterday because i didnt go to bed untill real late last night...im think im getting sick...and i know exactly who to blame for it...hehe...well i got to go to get dress and go to my grandparents house...i hope i can drive there...dude im getting my license next weekend hopefully if my mom gets my insurance...ive been annoying her about it for a long time and hopefully she will finally listen...la di da...bye bye peeps...i promise to update this entry with something good so check back later...bye bye
by Arch Enemy
Sands of time
Running through my fingers
My life slipping away
And I feel nothing
Swallow the tears
Eat the pain - It's worth the degradation - Eat the pain
Behind the smile / I feel nothing
I reach out to touch, but I'm not really there
This reflection in the mirror
Can't reality be me
I see no connection
With who I wanted to be
Drink another glass
Swallow these pills
At the end of the rainbow
You take the bitter
The bitter with the sweet
When love dies
The angels cry
Here I am
Alone... Alone in a crowd
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