:: 2005 5 October :: 2.24 pm

im so bored maan . im at work .. doing nothing as usual . i swept the office already today, PCs at a dr appointment .. all the guys are out the office, and its pretty much just me n bossman .

i was late for work today cuz i was crammin for todays midterm last night . this shits gettin hard man . i mean i knew it was going to be hard, but its gettin HARD . i never have any trouble, but ive been noticing myself kinda .. havin issues .

everything with the car is starting to straighten itself out .. mom and dad are begining to trust me more . love life sucks, and for once that doesnt really bother me .

ahh well i dun feel like talkin no more . get back later .

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 4 October :: 12.40 pm

damn
someone once told me its bad to be defensive all the time .. its not . be defensive, be an asshole, be a dick .. however dont burn all your bridges . friends .. not going to be there forever .. family .. family you need . you might hate your mom and dad but they are ALWAYS willing to help you one way or another, even when they feel you dont deserve it ..

ever wonder why things the way they are ? sometimes in life, there are questions most people are afraid to answer ... we are the people meant to go through some of the hardest things and most emotional battles because those other people, who are to afraid to find the answers need us to find them for them . understand that we are the ones chosen to answer those questions and live life as if it has no boundaries and no holds, other people cant do that. they live and enjoy life but not fully. unfortunately they need us to make mistakes and answer their questions, let them feel what they're afraid to feel .. through us - our mistakes, the things we do that arent mistakes .. hell .. just living life the way we do gives them the ability to feel better about themselves and live life a little better ..

just keep in mind we're the people taking life by the horns and forcing it in whichever direction we please . yes things get hard, but through trial and tribulation does come triumph . just be patient . if you arent, it just puts you in the category with the rest of the world .. where you want to do things but you cant . or you want to do things your just scared .. with patience .. you will be able to do all the things that you dream and more because with time and patience comes perfect placement for everything in life that is meant to happen .

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 23 September :: 1.42 pm

fucker
DJELEV8: WHAT UP
aka lil ladii j: pissed off
aka lil ladii j: very pissed off
DJELEV8: WHY
aka lil ladii j: ok
aka lil ladii j: just listen to this and tell me if it makes ANY godamned sense
DJELEV8: OK
aka lil ladii j: i needed a car or a laptop . well both really .. but yea .. so my parents hatetakin me to work .. hy hate pickin me up .. they hate takin me to school they hate pickn me up . i bitch and bich and bitch that i want a car so i can just do it . so i get a car right? well .. im not allowed to drive it . so ... my dad gets all aggravated that (1) i wanna drive everywhere, (2) that when i need ride home or somethi, i ask to take my car (3) im payn almost $650 a month now, for a car that i cannot drive ..
aka lil ladii j: why didnt thy consult me first, so thatway ..
aka lil ladii j: i culd have just bought my laptop .. something i wouldve hadto pay for .. AND USE AT THE SAME FUCKIN TIME
aka lil ladii j: i cant tell you how aggravating it is to know i need a ride to school tonight, and i gotta go to the bank, but I CANT FUCKIN TAKE MY OWN CAR
aka lil ladii j: NOT ONLY THAT BUT IMA HAVE TO GIVE SOMEONE ELSE GAS MONEY TO FUCKIN TAKE ME
aka lil ladii j: goddamned ridiculous
DJELEV8: HMMM
DJELEV8: OK, WHY CAN'T YOU DRIVE?
DJELEV8: NO LICENSE?
aka lil ladii j: i gota permi
DJELEV8: LOL
aka lil ladii j: please .. refrain from laughin .
DJELEV8: DID YOU THINK FOR A MINUTE THAT YOU COULD JUST GO AHEAD AND DRIVE WITH NO LICENSE?
DJELEV8: THAT'S NOT THEIR FAULT
aka lil ladii j: ITS THEIR FAULT I CANT GET MY LAPTOP NOW
DJELEV8: YOU SHOULDA KNOWN
DJELEV8: HOW?
DJELEV8: YOU CHOSE THE CAR DIDN'T YOU?
aka lil ladii j: NIGGA
aka lil ladii j: NO IDIDNT
DJELEV8: WORD?
aka lil ladii j: i was bitchin that i wanted a car
aka lil ladii j: and they picked out one as a suprise
aka lil ladii j: i was gon get an old car
DJELEV8: O
aka lil ladii j: so i wouldnt have high ass payments
aka lil ladii j: like i do now
aka lil ladii j: they fucked up my whole plan
DJELEV8: LOL, HOLD UP, THEY PICKED OUT A CAR TO SURPIRSE YOU, AND MADE YOU PAY FOR IT?
DJELEV8: FUCK IS THAT SHIT
aka lil ladii j: and now .. its that im ungrateful they got me a car .
aka lil ladii j: they put the downpayment on it .
DJELEV8: THAT'D BE LIK EME BUYING YOU AN OUTFIT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND THEN SAYING, HERE'S THE RECEIPT, PAY ME WHEN YOU CAN
aka lil ladii j: im payin the payments .
aka lil ladii j: yet i cant drive it .
DJELEV8: WELL PUT IT LIKE THIS
aka lil ladii j: do u see my frustration right now ?
DJELEV8: IT'S ALREADY DONE, SO YOU GOTTA JUST MOVE AHEAD
DJELEV8: YEA I DO
aka lil ladii j: n then my dad says "nobody told me u wanted a laptop. ida got u that"
aka lil ladii j: i mean . be logical .
DJELEV8: BUT THIS ALL COMES FROM LIFE EXPERIENCE. IF THAT HAD BEEN ME, SOMBODY WHO BEEN THRU DUMB SHIT LIKE THAT, I'DA MADE IT CLEAR FROM JUMP WHAT I WANTED OR EXPECTED OUT OF THE SITUATION, OR I WOULDN'TVE AGREED TO SHIT
aka lil ladii j: why do i need a car to go places if i cant do schoolwork .
DJELEV8: BUT ANYWAYS, HERE'S WHA TYOUD
DJELEV8: DO
aka lil ladii j: pay the shit
aka lil ladii j: shut up
DJELEV8: GET YOUR LICENSE, AND DRIVE THE CAR
aka lil ladii j: and wail til march to get my license
DJELEV8: YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY BE GLAD THAT THEY AT LEAS TPUT THE DOWN PAYMENT
DJELEV8: EVEN THO I AGREE THEY KINDA DID IT IN A FUCKE DUP WAY
aka lil ladii j: i am . i lvoe my car .
aka lil ladii j: u kno!
DJELEV8: DAMN, THAT'S RIGH TYOU GOTTA WAIT TIL MARCH
DJELEV8: IS YOUR NAME ON THE LEASE?
aka lil ladii j: NO
DJELEV8: LOL, THEN GUESS WHAT?
DJELEV8: TELL THEM TO PAY FOR THE SHIT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT PAYING FOR SOMETHING YOU CAN'T USE
DJELEV8: WERE YOU THERE WHEN IT WAS PURCHASED?
aka lil ladii j: they cant afford it
aka lil ladii j: no .
DJELEV8: SO THEY JUST DROVE IT HOME WITH YOU NOT KNOWING SHIT
aka lil ladii j: yes
DJELEV8: AND THEN SAID BY THE WAY, YOUR PAYMENTS ARE SUCH AND SUCH?
aka lil ladii j: yes
DJELEV8: HAHAHA, WHAT THE FUCK?
DJELEV8: OK, YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT IN THE WRONG THEN
aka lil ladii j: man dont laugh.
DJELEV8: YOUR PARENTS FUCKE DUP
aka lil ladii j: i got tears in my eyes
DJELEV8: IF I WAS IN THAT SITUATION, I'D TELL THEM TO WORRY ABOU TTHE CAR ON THEI ROWN, 'CAUSE YOU'RE LOSING MONEY IF YOU CAN'T USE IT
aka lil ladii j: yo ..
aka lil ladii j: read this
DJELEV8: THEY WERE THE IDIOTS WHO BOUGHT YOU A CAR YOU COULDN'T USE FOR ANOTHER 5 TO 7 MONTHS
aka lil ladii j:
car payment - 412.00
car insuranc - 160.00
housekeeper - 75.00
phone bill - 35.00
college tuition- 75.00
total cost - 757.00
aka lil ladii j: a month yo .
DJELEV8: FOR A 17 YEAR OLD THAT'S A LOT OF DOE
DJELEV8: PLUS DON'T FORGET GAS PRICES IF YOU DRIVE
aka lil ladii j: yea well my pplz go no problem takin it
DJELEV8: AND THE LITTLE EXTRAS IN LIFE
aka lil ladii j: u kno .
aka lil ladii j: wtf .
aka lil ladii j: this shit fuckin sucks
DJELEV8: YEA, IT DOES
DJELEV8: TO BE HONEST, I'D TELL THEM THAT YOU WERE ONLY GOING TO PAY FOR 1/2 OF THE PAYMENT OR NONE AT ALL
DJELEV8: I THINK THAT'S FAIR
aka lil ladii j: yeah
DJELEV8: SINCE THEY WILL BE ABLE TO DRIVE IT MORE THAN YOU, AND YOU'RE IN THIS SITUATION 'CAUSE OF THEIR OWN STUPIDITY
DJELEV8: NICE IDEA OR NOT, THEY MADE A BAD DECISION NOT YOU
aka lil ladii j: i told them .. i dont care if its a rustbucket and it sits in the driveway until i can drive it . i just need a car . any car .
aka lil ladii j: whatd they do . they went and got me a nice ass car (thanks) with a high ass payment( fuck) that i cant drive (damnit)
aka lil ladii j: what GODDAMNED sense does that make >
aka lil ladii j: I FEEL LIKE I BELONG TO THE BUSH FAMILY
DJELEV8: LOL SORRY MA

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 21 September :: 12.43 pm

2003 Corolla Type S
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .
i gotta car . i gotta car . i gotta car hey hey hey hey .

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 19 September :: 10.11 am

daaamn long time no type ..

well .. lets just get an update of whats goin on ..

2nd semester - straight As
new job makin $10 an hour
soon to be obtaining a honda
kinda sorta new boyfriend/toy
chillin on my pimpin

lifes pretty good . that up there's just the jist of it all . when i get some more time ill update the whole shibang .

x0 - jess

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 15 August :: 5.14 pm

♠¬ Q U I Z Z E Z

People see sadness in your eyes. You seem to be
hurt deeply. You may be unhappy because you are
alone or feel like no one cares about you. Or
it may be because something very awful has
happened to you. Whatever the cause, you go
through each day just waiting for night to come
with sweet relief in the form of your dreams.
But you may have even lost hope in your dreams.
Chin up. Things should get better for you and
there is always at least one person who cares
about you. Have hope.


What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla


People see you as Truly Dark. Congradulations. Your
are dark by nature and not just because it's
cool. Dark people are not always loners but
definatly not the center of attention either.
Many people are the dark are like the shadows
and can conform into any shape they need to be.
But the dark can't be hidden forever. It's
often only a matter of time untill you tire of
the charade and show your darkness. Thus how
those in the dark remian solitary. Being dark
does not always mean your gloomy, you are
probably just artistic. Whether is be in the
drawing, music,painting, or singing. If you can
find a friend who shares your twisted ideals or
is willing to brave the iceiness of your world,
hang on to them for how rare it is to find a
light in the dark.


What Do People Truly See You As? (lots of outcomes and stunning pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla


Your last words would be...'It's probably better
this way...'
Your life has
been...heartbreaking. Almost no one has been
there for you, and when someone has, they soon
leave. You might be suicidal, or just full of
self-pitty...possibly both.


What will your last words be? (Another pic uped.)
brought to you by Quizilla


Your emotion is Bordom. You don't know what to do
most of the time and your ok with that you
spend most of your time in your room anyway.You
don't talk to people much and you don't really
care what they think about you.
*Please Rate*


What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You kill for revenge.
That is because you have lost something or
someone you held very dear. Now you can't seem
to get over the loss that marked your soul, and
the only solution is to go after the one person
who brought all this pain to you. Chances are
you are angry inside and you bottle everything
up and don't talk to anyone about it. People
may want to help, but you think that they can
never understand your pain and only get
frustrated because of this. But it is important
to see all that you have left and be thankful
of that even if you have lost something great.
It may not be true that Times heals all wounds,
but with time and talking about your feelings,
maybe the hurt will ease.

Main weapon: Yourself
Quote: "You can close your eyes to
reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J.
Lec
Facial expression: Gritted teeth and
teary eyes


What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla


The Goddess of Roses and Love. You are a hopeless
romantic. Always optimistic and loving, you
have many friends and you are exceptionally
trustworthy. You are a innocent beauty.


Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla


You like the sweet, shy type.


What kind of guy are you most attracted to?
brought to you by Quizilla


Your wise quote is: "Reality bites with a
variety of sizes of teeth"(-Tony Follari)
As a person, you think life is just plain
painful, horrible and everything else you don't
like. Happy people confuse you. Alot. I mean,
why are they so happy anyway? You are depressed
and perhaps utterly alone and live life rather
montone. You feel there is no reason to really
be here and feel helpless.


What wise quote fits you? [pics]
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Stewie. All you care about is world
domination and killing your mother Lois, good
luck with your plans!


Which Family Guy Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

~*~Result nr 6~*~

src="http://live.quizilla.com/user_images/P/PainfulBliss/1117236077_Power_Transformation.JPG">
Your power is: Transformation

Explanation: Unlike everyone else you
can change your body materia and transform into
anything (e.g. an animal). This can be used in
good purposes for infiltrating evil
headcuarters or adjust your physical abilities
by transforming and therefor do better in
battle. If turned to the evil side, a
transfomer could manipulate the "good
guys" by looking like their loved ones and
break them down.
As a person you are dissapointed with life. You
have not so many interests anymore and has
become depressed. Of course you can be happy,
but your happiness subsides quickly and don't
last very long. You isloate yourself from
people since you think they would only hurt
you, but some part just wants someone equal who
understands the pain. When you transform it
gives you freedom and you can be anything but
yourself. You often pity yourself but don't let
people come near and know what's going on with
you. But the thought of opening up and risking
being betrayed is too strong and intimidating
to even try.
Negative aspects: You carry much hate to
the world and yourself and in the long run this
could lead to dangerous thoughts
(suicide/cutting/killing) though the last one
is least likeable since you would probably just
have too much guilt.

What Power is Compatible With You? [beautiful anime pictures + 12 detailed results]
brought to you by Quizilla


:) Awww, you're a kid at heart. You love trying new
things and going on exciting adventures.
Chances are you're funny, somewhat kind,
extroverted, and an awesome person to be around
!


How old are you at heart?
brought to you by Quizilla


Your kiss will be really Romantic. He will sweep
you off of your feet. This is a true and honest
kiss that means a lot for both of you. it's
enough to send you into la la land but your
fine being there as long as he's with you.


How will your dream First Kiss be? *UPDATED* (Cute anime pics (me:finally)
brought to you by Quizilla


You got "Jerk It Out" by the Caesars!

What's Your Theme Song? (Actual Song Included!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Your inner element is water. You can get mad, but
you cool down, sorta like someone poured some
water on your head. You are playful and
sometimes mature and sometimes a lil kid. To
release and use your element you must meditate
and focus on a lake, you in it or near it,
focus on you creating water. Swim more! drink
more water! You must meditate near water.


What's your inner soul's element and how can you release it? (anime pix! enjoy ^_^)updated!
brought to you by Quizilla


Dude you have split personality.get help...please
rate!!!


How insane are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 64% Hardcore Junkie (61% - 80%) While you do get a bit of sleep every night and sometimes leave the house, you spend as much time as you can online. You usually have a browser, chat clients, server consoles, and your email on auto check open at all times. Phone? What's that? You plan your social events by contacting your friends online. Just be careful you don't get a repetitive wrist injury... The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!

Ur da biggest bitch alive!! get a life - if u aint
careful ull be a billy-no-mates!!!


What type of bitch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

March,
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others.
Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and
returns kindness. Observant and assesses
others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and
fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention.
Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves
home decors. Musically talented.Loves special
things. Moody


What does your birth month reveal about you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Personality Quiz

Classic Black
You like to keep things simple and dislike unnecessary fuss, whether in your cup or in your life. You're someone who likes to plan for the future and to set clear goals for herself. You can be intense at times, you know what you want and stop at nothing until you get it. Quality is important to you - you always buy the best. That goes for friendships too, you'd rather have a few friends you really connect with, than loads of come-and-go mates. Chic and intelligent, classy and deep, black coffee is the beverage for you.

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 15 August :: 5.09 pm

♠¬ Ahh!
o m f g .. rofl . last night at 4 am i made brownies .. now .. im makin cake . i feel like a fuckin fat ass . i checked my results from the blood i donated and my cholesterol level is at 166 . my mom said thats a little high for a teenager but whatever . its supposed to be under 200 so i guess im okay . i found out im O negative . universal doner . im koo like dat . im bored . nobody's online . done with most homework .

o0o i kno wha ima doooo ..

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 15 August :: 1.39 pm
:: Mood: nauseated

♠¬ Blah
i feel like shit . i want luis . cant have him . i need to get started on preparing for my finals . i needa friggin get focused .. im sleepin a lot . everything from like .. my stomach down is discombobulated . its easier to eat tho .. only i cant move after im done . i think i needa go to the doctor .

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 14 August :: 1.14 pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: DJ Tiesto - Beautiful Things

fuck it .. smoke a blunt

:: 2005 7 August :: 11.46 pm
:: Mood: exhausted

♠¬ The End
suprisingly .. thats it . im done chasing him . and even though i do want to stay around and be patient for him .. it hurts too much . i dont need to put myself through it, so its over .

i knew it wouldnt work anyways .

you cant mix water with water and expect to taste fruit punch .
-thats insanity .

fuck it .. smoke a blunt