2010 20 April :: 12.19am
:: Music: Time after Time - Cindy Lauper
Haven't posted here in a while.
College is way easier than I ever anticipated. Teachers are way better and lenient, and going to class doesn't seem like such a drag. It's funny, but it's not college that scares me most at this point, it's what comes after. I have to find a job here in the next couple weeks. I have to find a car. I have to start paying insurance and phone bills and balancing my bank account and actually... take care of myself. Up to this point I haven't had to. And while I'm scared to take that big step out of teenage fun and angst and into maturity and adulthood, I know I'm ready, because it's expected out of me not just by my parents and family, but of myself too. In the movie "Coach Carter" one of the characters says that their deepest fear isn't that they are inadequate, but that they are powerful beyond measure. Well, that isn't the case for me. My deepest fear is that I'll be inadequate. I somehow just have to find the motivation to say to myself "Hey man. Let's do this thing, and let's do it right." And then I have to find the strength to listen. Well, until the future presents itself, I'll just have to see.
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