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:: 2005 17 April :: 9.23 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Simple Plan

Yesterday at like 7:20 i went with Evan, Victoria, Todd, and Krissy to go see "Amityville Horror" and omg omg omg it was SOOOOOO SCARY i think i like cut off the circulation in Evans hand. Like be4 the movie, when it was all those commercials, Evan and i were like making out and Victoria was like "HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!!" it was so funny and me and Evan just laughed. The movie was really good but like the whole idea that it was based in a true story is what really got me the most. I had a really fun time last night and i wish it didnt have to end :-( After the movie we all walked around the mall and like Evan saw a lot of ppl he in particular got on my nerves. It was Evan's ex girlfriend fron like 6th and 7th grade and they went out a year. the movie we were all sitting in the second to last row when all of a sudden all these losers came and sat right in front of us even though we had our feet on the seat. So Krissy was like "hey guys, do u want to move to the back row?" and we were like "yea" so we all hopped over the seats and sat there. Buuuuuuuuut.....this was like 4 seats down from Evan's ex, Nicole...and Krissy was like "Evan look there's Nicole!!!" and he sat up all straight and was like "hey" and he waved and said it all happy like he was glad see her. And like that pissed me off. And like when we all were out side waiting for Victoria, Nicole was mentioned and Krissy was like "Evan u remember Nicole right?" and he was like "duh, i went out with her for a year!!" and i just looked at him with total disgust [he didnt see me] and like i was kinda pissed off then too.....cuz like to me it sounded like he was bragging about it while i [his new gf] was right beside him. Like he could have said "duh i went out with her" but he didnt!!! and like i know he cant be perfect....but like if he really found out how long i knew my ex bf and how long we liked eachother and might make him jealous or pissed off too. When i was talking to him online last night i was like "who broke up with who?" and he was like "i broke up with her cuz i lost intrest in her" and in my head i was like "ohh...thats just perfect...i bet im next" in a sarcastic way. And i was like "well what if u lose intrest in me and he was like "i dont see myself ever doing that" and like i really really really want to believe him but i know that he could change his mind and wake up one day and like totally hate me. And like he says "i love u to me" and i really really really want to say it back but like i freeze up and i dont want to fully give my heart to him and then like have it shattered. Even though he like reassured me that nothing like that would happen...its in the back of my mind that it will...but i really hope it doesnt. Im out~~

Isnt it funny how ppl like dont tell u everything about things and they get all mad at u when u act deffensive?.....i think so

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:: 2005 16 April :: 5.05 pm

Omg r these guys hot or what...??????? <3333

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Ill have pics of Evan and my puppy soon <33333

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:: 2005 16 April :: 4.59 pm

Today im gonna go see a movie and i cant

Ill have a longer update tomorrow. Later.

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:: 2005 13 April :: 5.16 pm

Today was another normal day....i went to all of my classes and did work. Band was funny cuz like now the whole class knows about the whole "Evan is gay" joke. And i happy cuz apple blossom is coming up and i cant wait to skip a day of school and spend the day with Evan and my friends. I was gonna go to soccer practice tonight but i didnt have a ride so im not going. O Im out~~

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:: 2005 12 April :: 6.15 pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Smile Empty Soul

I dunno y, but like lately ive been thinking about how im not good enough for Evan. Like its really weird cuz i know we both r really happy but like im still cautious of him. Like i trust him with all my heart but like i cant help but feel that im not seeing the "real" him and that he is holding something back. I am aware that these feelings could be wrong and they probably r, but that feeling is still gonna be there. I think my main problem is that every male person i have known has let me down in some my dad just all together has been a real hazard in my brothers lie to me all the time, and im not the least bit close to my uncles....and like every boy i have liked in school hasnt liked me back and they turned out to be real jerks [except Evan] and i think i have a problem trusting everyone....i dunno exactly y though. Like i really think that im gonna be with him for awhile but like a lot of ppl [mainly adults] have been saying that im deffinatly not gonna be with him for like more than a year....and that puts me down and all that shit is drilled in my head and like i really feel like telling the ppl to shut up cuz they dont know me or him at all. I really dont know how to like describe what im feeling...for all ui know it might just be the feeling of TRUE LOVE....i guess ill never out~~

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:: 2005 11 April :: 5.05 pm

Today i went to the doctors about my stomach and they dont know whats wrong either. I got an ultrasound today to make sure i had no tumors and then was supossed to get this one test done where i have to be put to sleep and they stick a camra down my throat and into my stomach to really see whats wrong, but they couldnt squeeze me in the schedule today so i have to go back. I had that procedure done on me be4 but like now i know what to expect when they put me to sleep and like the feeling is weird and i would rather not do it again but i gotta do what i gotta do. Like a lot of the ppl at school think they r so big and bad and tough, but i would like to see them go through a day of what i go through and then see what they say. Like i cant stand ppl who r like "Oh thats not that bad" or "i've broken so many bones so i can take ne thing" but believe me, being put to sleep with the chance of never waliking up again is MUCH worse than breaking a bone.

We lost our soccer game on Sunday. I had 3 shots on goal [woohoo go me!!!!] and then i got nailed in the face with the ball and i have 3 bruises on my eye from it. Omg it hurt soooooo bad! I have another game this sunday and its a home game [ tired of traveling] and i think im gonna play a lot cuz i did really good on sunday and i think he was really happy with my skills and how fast i could run. So i cant wait to play i was put in for a really long time and i played more in that one game then i did total for the North High team. And like my knee didnt hurt at all and i was actually able to sprint almost as fast as i could without holding back. So i cant wait to play on sunday. Im out~~~

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:: 2005 9 April :: 9.38 pm

I just got back from Evan's house and i had a good time. Fist we hung out then we like went outside and played soccer and Evan tripped me and made me fall and i got a grass stian on my pants. Then we went to the the font of his house and played basketball for alittle bit and then we talked to Evan's weird friend [i dont know his name]...anyways...that is one funny/weird kid.....hahahaha. Then we went on the computer and listened to music and then we hung out some more and then we ate dinner and then we went back upstairs and hung out once again....then we were gonna kinda watch "Ladder 49" but my mom said i couldnt stay longer :( i was so pissed and i could tell Evan was dissapointed. And thats how my night went. I know my explanation was brief but i dont I have nothing more to out~~

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:: 2005 9 April :: 10.31 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Pretty Girl

I didnt get home from babysitting till like 12:00 am last night. I fell asleep there [ha slacker] but they said i could cuz it was late and all the kids were in bed. I got 50 DOLLARS for my wonderful services last I was happy cuz now i have spending money but im gonna save it to use at the Apple Blossem Festival when we go to the mall. I was wearing a white shirt over my awesome pink cami ;) yesterday and the little baby got green baby food on it. It wasnt a lot but i was so pissed. So then i had to get the kid to bed and let me tell u...that was another adventure. He like cried for like 20 minutes be4 he fell asleep and i just let him cry [that wasnt my idea, the parents told me to do that] Then i just watched tv with his older brother and we both fell

Today im going to Evan's house to "hang out" [both ways...hahahahaha]

i cant think of anything else to say...ill update out~~

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:: 2005 8 April :: 4.26 pm
:: Music: Sugarcult--Pretty Girl

So my doctor called my mom today and she said that she wants to see me in Washington D.C so she can figure out what is wrong with kinda glad cuz im tired of having a stomach ache everytime i eat.

So now i have to babysit my neighbors out~~

oh yea, i know corinne already had this song in her journal but i like it and im gonna use it....hahahahaha

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:: 2005 7 April :: 5.13 pm

Hmmmm let's still not feeling good :( but my mom finally called the doctor and they r gonna call back tomorrowy. My nurse said that i might have to go to Washington D.C. to like see my doctor cuz something is deffinatly wrong.

Tomorrow Evan was supossed to come over but now i have to wait till monday to see him. I was called out of the blue to babysit my neighbor's kids and i've only babysat them once for a few hours but like the kids r really good and i was payed good :) So now im gonna see Evan on saturday after he gats off work :)

I have soccer practice tonight but like im not gonna go cuz of my stomach. Like i have a feeling that if i run i will throw up. So im gonna go to the store with my mom instead...i think.

So now im gonna go get ready to get my uniform for out.

Oh yea, corinne, the hot german kids name is Stefan (selling)

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