Yesterday at like 7:20 i went with Evan, Victoria, Todd, and Krissy to go see "Amityville Horror" and omg omg omg it was SOOOOOO SCARY i think i like cut off the circulation in Evans hand. Like be4 the movie, when it was all those commercials, Evan and i were like making out and Victoria was like "HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!!" it was so funny and me and Evan just laughed. The movie was really good but like the whole idea that it was based in a true story is what really got me the most. I had a really fun time last night and i wish it didnt have to end :-( After the movie we all walked around the mall and like Evan saw a lot of ppl he knew...one in particular got on my nerves. It was Evan's ex girlfriend fron like 6th and 7th grade and they went out a year. Well...at the movie we were all sitting in the second to last row when all of a sudden all these losers came and sat right in front of us even though we had our feet on the seat. So Krissy was like "hey guys, do u want to move to the back row?" and we were like "yea" so we all hopped over the seats and sat there. Buuuuuuuuut.....this was like 4 seats down from Evan's ex, Nicole...and Krissy was like "Evan look there's Nicole!!!" and he sat up all straight and was like "hey" and he waved and said it all happy like he was glad see her. And like that pissed me off. And like when we all were out side waiting for Victoria, Nicole was mentioned and Krissy was like "Evan u remember Nicole right?" and he was like "duh, i went out with her for a year!!" and i just looked at him with total disgust [he didnt see me] and like i was kinda pissed off then too.....cuz like to me it sounded like he was bragging about it while i [his new gf] was right beside him. Like he could have said "duh i went out with her" but he didnt!!! and like i know he cant be perfect....but like if he really found out how long i knew my ex bf and how long we liked eachother and stuff.....it might make him jealous or pissed off too. When i was talking to him online last night i was like "who broke up with who?" and he was like "i broke up with her cuz i lost intrest in her" and in my head i was like "ohh...thats just perfect...i bet im next" in a sarcastic way. And i was like "well what if u lose intrest in me and he was like "i dont see myself ever doing that" and like i really really really want to believe him but i know that he could change his mind and wake up one day and like totally hate me. And like he says "i love u to me" and i really really really want to say it back but like i freeze up and i dont want to fully give my heart to him and then like have it shattered. Even though he like reassured me that nothing like that would happen...its in the back of my mind that it will...but i really hope it doesnt. Im out~~

Isnt it funny how ppl like dont tell u everything about things and they get all mad at u when u act deffensive?.....i think so

I dunno y, but like lately ive been thinking about how im not good enough for Evan. Like its really weird cuz i know we both r really happy but like im still cautious of him. Like i trust him with all my heart but like i cant help but feel that im not seeing the "real" him and that he is holding something back. I am aware that these feelings could be wrong and they probably r, but that feeling is still gonna be there. I think my main problem is that every male person i have known has let me down in some way....like my dad just all together has been a real hazard in my life....my brothers lie to me all the time, and im not the least bit close to my uncles....and like every boy i have liked in school hasnt liked me back and they turned out to be real jerks [except Evan] and i think i have a problem trusting everyone....i dunno exactly y though. Like i really think that im gonna be with him for awhile but like a lot of ppl [mainly adults] have been saying that im deffinatly not gonna be with him for like more than a year....and that puts me down and all that shit is drilled in my head and like i really feel like telling the ppl to shut up cuz they dont know me or him at all. I really dont know how to like describe what im feeling...for all ui know it might just be the feeling of TRUE LOVE....i guess ill never know...im out~~

I didnt get home from babysitting till like 12:00 am last night. I fell asleep there [ha slacker] but they said i could cuz it was late and all the kids were in bed. I got 50 DOLLARS for my wonderful services last night...lol. I was happy cuz now i have spending money but im gonna save it to use at the Apple Blossem Festival when we go to the mall. I was wearing a white shirt over my awesome pink cami ;) yesterday and the little baby got green baby food on it. It wasnt a lot but i was so pissed. So then i had to get the kid to bed and let me tell u...that was another adventure. He like cried for like 20 minutes be4 he fell asleep and i just let him cry [that wasnt my idea, the parents told me to do that] Then i just watched tv with his older brother and we both fell asleep..lol.

Today im going to Evan's house to "hang out" [both ways...hahahahaha]

i cant think of anything else to say...ill update later...im out~~

So my doctor called my mom today and she said that she wants to see me in Washington D.C so she can figure out what is wrong with me....im kinda glad cuz im tired of having a stomach ache everytime i eat.

So now i have to babysit my neighbors soon...fun fun...im out~~

oh yea, i know corinne already had this song in her journal but i like it and im gonna use it....hahahahaha