ready to quit ~
today I found out something I Didn't want to know .. and Now I Just don't know what to think. I don't know if im mad ... or just not caring ... I can't take it anymore, Im gonna break down... and soon. I can't keep chasing you ... its just getting old and I don't know what to do ... I need To know if you want to be more then friends or not ... otherwise Im wasting my time ... nuff said

Hrmmm
What do you do when someone loves you so much .. and all you want to be to that person is there friend .. how do you tell them ??

don't know .... im so bedazzled...

and what happens when you love someone but all they want to be is your friend ? .... " I say God Damn" - Pulp Fiction ...

life is one big fun puzzle ! i wuv it !

F OFF AL !

"I Feel So"
only one song can describ this night .... *tear*


"Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over"

Bones n Shit ~
Yesterday, I thought I broke my left ankle ...

Playin basketball ... of course .. and rolled it over jeff's foot ... it was the size of a softball so today i went and got some x-rays .. they said it was a minor break and that i might or might not need a cast .. so they toss me a splint and some crutches and discharge me ... fuckin ppl in the hospital ... nurse betty or what ever the fuck her name was .. comes on ... and pokes it like 18 times .. does that hurt ... huh huh .. does it ... yes it fucking hurts you moron why would i be here if it doesn't fucking hurt ... so then the x-ray bitch ... was pretty ugly ... starts poking at it too ... i was like ... wtf ... im gonna hit your ass ... hospitals are so gay .. nuff said ...

fuck you

Jay !!
fuck fuck fuck
mother mother fuck
mother mother fuck
mother fuck mother fuck
nonich nonich noich
1-2-1-2-3-4
nonich nonich nonich
smokin weed smokin wizz
doin coke drinkin beers
drinkin beers beers beers
rollin fattys smokin blunts
who smokes the blunts? we smokes the blunts
rollin fattys and smokin-
*hey, can i get a nickel bag?*
fifteen bucks little man
put that shit in my hand
if that money doesn't show
then you owe me owe me owe
my jungle love!
yeah, oeeoeeoee
i think i want to know ya know ya
yeah what
*what the fuck are you singin?*
you don't know jungle love? man, that shit is the mad notes! written by god herself and handed down to the greatest band in the world - the motherfuckin time!
*you mean the guys from that prince movie?
*yeah, purple rain
*man, that shit was so gay. fuckin ... 80's style
you don't never say an unkind word about the time! me and tubby here modeled our whole fuckin lives around morris day and jerome! i'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy, and this here's my black man servant. what!



so like yea whatever .. thats all i gotta say about that .. o and that girls are the most confusin mutha fuckers on the face of this planet .... bleh ... lata ...

Fucking Assholes
I Hate My Class of Fucktards at Geibel so Bad ... Very Few I Like ! so Today Was Like Suppose to be Sr skip day n all ... so I Wake up at 3 in the afternoon and find out everyone went to fuckin school today ... so gay .. i wish death upon most of them ... bah im so mad ... i really don't care .. it was a day off for me ... fuckin losers ....

and to someone !!@% .. my cell phone is always on ... leave a damn message ... even half the time i don't know where it is .. but so .. leave one ... grrrrrr

BAH @
what a long ass day ... get up at 6 am to go take my fuckin SATs fer the 2nd time ... prolly did bad ... so ghey ... people piss me off ... went out wit some bitches tonight .. was some what fun ... bobby got a speedin ticket and a nice fine of 153$$ .. that made me laugh my ass off for awhile .... brothers b-day is tommorow and now i gotta go pretend i like him and go visit him .. i didn't even buy him a frickin gift ... god im an asshole ... im going to hell ... and i don't care .... im going to bed ... fuckin blow me

Grrrr
ok .. well ive cooled down alot from before ... i got alot out of me ... went bowlin wit the guys ... heheh its all good now i guess .. im pretty bored so i took a bunch of quiz's .. heh best one so far ......

See what Care Bear you are.

Life ....
Today I Realized that sometimes in life you just have your mind set on something you want ... and then when you can't have it ... you go nuts and don't know what to do ... but then .. what happens when you think to yourself ... do i really want this? or Do i want something else ? i can't make up my mind ... grrrr feeling are so .... gay .... i sometimes wish i was never born so i wouldn't have to deal with "life" ... fuck that shit ... so gay .. why can't it all just be easy ... nooooo .. gotta be hard ... dick you over 18 times or so ... then see .... bah ... sorry .. i was ramblein ...leave you wit this ....

Sigh !
Today was pretty damn boring .... nuff said ... I Got a Few Smiles Today That Made me somewhat happy ... but ... I still don't know ... Just ... Something Bothers Me ... Im Not 100% sure .. but I Have a few ideas ... Good ol' JR made me Laugh today... Im Really Gonna Miss That Guy ....

Maybe Ill Write Something Later ... Till Then Ill Leave With This Poem ...


"There's a dream I often have,
it's set in the heavens above.
The theme is always white,
filled with a flock of doves.

I look over to my right
and I'm astonished at what I see.
There standing before my sight,
is an angel staring at me.

Her hair is long and golden,
as if spun from straw.
Her face is pure and white,
perfected, without a flaw.

When I first saw you
I was quite surprised to see,
that it was you I dreamed about,
the angel from my dream.

It is you whom I admire,
and you whom I adore
it is you who makes life peaceful,
for now and forevermore."

Love
What a Way To Kick This Shit Off .... Just a Little In Sight ....


Fallin In Love Is Said To Be One Of The Hardest Things In Life .. I Would Have To Agree With That .. Love Can Be So Hard .. It Can Show Up When You Least Expect It ... Even Worse .. What Happens When You Fall In Love With Someone .. But They Don't Share the Same Feelins ... Or You Just Think Its Love .. And Its Just Infatuation... Or Even Obsession ... And Who Really Knows What Love Is ? People Get Married Thinking They Love Each Other .. and 10 Years Down The Road Split Up Because That Love They Once Had ... Is No Longer There ... Or Maybe .. Love Is Just A Game ... If You Play Your Cards Right ... You Might Just Win ... All I Know Is .. That When You Love One Person So Much ... Your Willin To Do Anything and Everything For Them No Matter What Would Happen ... Bad Or Good ... Your Willin To Go To One End Of The Earth and Back Again ...

Feelings .... Are ... Gay ....