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The Darkest Void

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:: 2004 16 August :: 12.56 am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: MEST - Cheslsea

This song says alot ..
I thought you were the one
But I was wrong cause you've already left
And I hope that you miss me tonight
And I hope that you miss me tonight

A year ago we met
And I never would've guessed
That you'd mean so much to me
But those brown eyes drove me crazy
And at the time everything was going wrong
But you made everything seem alright
So now I wonder where you are
On this cold November night

I thought you were the one
But I was wrong cause you already left
And I hope that you miss me tonight
And I hope that you miss me tonight

I had to leave that night
Cause I knew something wasn't right
We held eachother as the night came to an end
But all I could think about was your boyfriend
If he only knew the things that you've done and said
And that you were lying here with me in this bed
Because I live so far away
Is why you chose him that day

I thought you were the one
But I was wrong cause you already left
And I hope that you miss me tonight
And I hope that you miss me tonight

Tonight I don't know where you are
But I know where you should be
So here I am all alone
When you should be with me........

Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 7 August :: 1.59 am
:: Mood: annoyed

What the Shit ....
shit like this pisses me the fuck right off ...


so you don't want to be american anymore eh ? well fuck you, run to japan and get killed you fucking shit head. Who doesn't want to be american? I mean, wtf, we have frickin 1000's of spanish bitches tryin to get into our country TO BE free, and you want to run off to another country to not be free just because you think our laws are gay. Well, too tell you the truth, yes our laws are gay, but they keep things civil. Lets fucking go to japan though where there already overpopluated and try to cope with there laws.... lets see, in japan you can get your hands cut off for stealing. Sounds like a plan to me, lets all move! what a fucking moron .. to quote this little bitch

"I no longer wish to be an American citizen. Enough is enough," he said in a handwritten statement issued through his lawyer.

enough is enough and its time for a change !

Fuck You Bobby Fischer

12 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 28 July :: 1.02 am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Finger 11 - Good Times

Woman of my Dreams
It really upsets me that people I thought I once knew really well, have faded to memories and lost notes in yearbooks. How hard is it really to pick up a phone to talk to someone just to let you know they still exist. Itís even worse when you think about that person on a daily basis and worry about them more then anything in the world. When the only person you would sacrifice your life for has ceased from talking to you, what do you do? Stop caring? Can you stop caring? Is it truly possible, because I have defiantly tried, and itís not possible? Even when my friends tell me to get over it, and that it will get better, in the end, it never does. Iím sick of hearing the same excuse over and over again; you think you could tell me the truth for once? I thought we were best friends, I wasnít aware that best friends hide things and cover up shit? You told me once that your really cared for me, did you really, or did you just say that to make me smile. I have said it before and I will say it again; part of me has died ever since youíve been gone and I will never be the same. Even though you meant more to me then I meant to you its ok. There will always be a place for you in my shattered fragments of heart that I have left. All I really want to do is talk to you but you have ignored the life out of me and I really canít take it anymore. I have enough stress right now with class and my 3 finals coming up. Just 1 word would be nice, 1 spoken word, is it that hard? Honestly? I am done trying to contact you, I really do give it, I donít have the time nor do I need the added stress. I have had nothing but love for you, and always will be in love with you no matter what but Iím sorry, but it is finally time to say goodbye.

4 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 22 July :: 1.17 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: finger 11 - stay in shadow

haven't wrote in awhile, been busy. passed my driving test, so now I can drive the ambulance ! w00 w00. been confused most of the time, mostly on issues regarding woman .... but you know how that goes... thought everything was going well and ya just get slapped in the face.. gotta love that feeling. 1 more week of class then I can finally relax and enjoy at least 2 weeks of summer.... pretty tired, been playin ball and golf alot. I should be in ocean city right now with my friend, but noooooo, couldn't go because of classes.. off to sleep I go to have a wonderful night of endless nightmares ...

Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 26 June :: 12.00 am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Velvet Revolver

Happy Birthday
Another year has gone by and its time to sit and reflect. It hasn't been the best year, nor the worst for that matter, but it was pretty bad. Dropping out of college and my mother haveing a minor heart attack were just the key points in the past year.. Ive learned alot of different things and some new aspects of life. Of course girls still suck badly and time can only prove that even more, I won't get into much detail but read a few entries below. So you may ask how today went. well, thats simple, fuck you. All my friends are out of town so I celebrated my birthday by myself. Went to class grumpy and late, came home and took a nap until 8pm. Then finally my friend bob called and wanted to go out to get some dinner so we went to Ruby Tuesdays and got some burghers, now all alone again, afraid to admit it, but missing someone really bad, and even though I am tryin to push my feelings back, I can't. So now im off to watch Bad'er Santa ( which I bought myself ) and get trashed but 1st we are going to rant for abit about this little fat kid named Nathan Smalara.

This fucker is about 4'5 and 200 pounds. So basically hes a short tubby fuck who is addicted to animie shit like a 3 year old would be. Sad thing is hes 19. I went to high school with this faggat for 4 years and hated him since day 1. Me and cappa would make fun of this tubby fuck all time for liking japan, we would sing that song to him, "turning japenees" all the time and he would get so pissed. Well someone told me this little bitch was having a sex operation and I asked him about it and he got all defense about it. Then I find out today about him postin in his "uber gay l33t journal" about it. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/lovnaru/)

well just one thing to say to you Mr. Smalara.
Why don't you grow up and get over this childish boy shit and get a real hobby. And when someone asks you a fucking question how bout you don't give them shit about it and just tell them how it is. Why don't ya jump on america's side and get over those fucking gooks, didn't we bomb their ass'es once already? in closing

Fuck You Nathan Smalara

49 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 24 June :: 1.03 am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: velvet revolver

Fall To Pieces
this song explains tonight - yea, not much else to say

It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown old
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

All the years I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling down
I'm falling

Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 19 June :: 2.08 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: STP - Big Empty

Women are The Win
Today was an interesting day kids... to say the least hah, but lets skip the garbage, not worth me time

So on to bigger things, I know I vowed to never let anyone in ever again, well I broke that vow and have fallen for someone, and even though the feelings aren't mutual and prolly never will, I still have mass feelings for her and have since the high school days... well this is some of our convo tonight .. women ... grrrr

Kunta Kinte 31 (1:58:23 AM): so tell me
pupskitten121 (1:58:29 AM): i want you to know that i have been nothing but honest with you
pupskitten121 (1:58:47 AM): from the beginning
pupskitten121 (1:59:52 AM): from the bottom of my heart Im sorry if im a whore....or a tease
pupskitten121 (2:00:34 AM): Ive told you since you first said a word to me anything that I did not want to hurt you in any way!
pupskitten121 (2:00:45 AM): and I am trying not to lead you on so much
pupskitten121 (2:01:13 AM): I am a rediculous person
pupskitten121 (2:01:29 AM): and i am incredible sorry for that
pupskitten121 (2:01:54 AM): i also want to remind you that everything that i am saying is what im thinking and feeling right now
pupskitten121 (2:02:08 AM): like i told you......i dont want a relationship......
pupskitten121 (2:02:47 AM): i think in a way it scares me too much right now.....i guess its my shield and my way of trying to stop myself from getting hurt
pupskitten121 (2:02:50 AM): I dont know
pupskitten121 (2:03:24 AM): since we've started talking again you have been wonderful
pupskitten121 (2:03:37 AM): and lately youve been completely amazing
pupskitten121 (2:04:30 AM): the other night when you first came over......i really had a great time with you
pupskitten121 (2:04:50 AM): then you told me how you felt
pupskitten121 (2:05:24 AM): i was afraid as usual......like when frank and josh told me the same thing.....
pupskitten121 (2:05:40 AM): i dont want to lead anyone on and i dont want to hurt anyone
pupskitten121 (2:05:54 AM): i dont think ive been doing a good job at that
pupskitten121 (2:06:22 AM): then you seemed resistant to me saturday
pupskitten121 (2:07:23 AM): when i tried not to change my behavior like you thought i wouldve....
pupskitten121 (2:07:55 AM): the way youve been with me is completely amazing
pupskitten121 (2:08:24 AM): i never wouldve thought u wouldve ever been in bed with me
pupskitten121 (2:08:40 AM): and i never thought that we wouldve stayed up like all night just talking
pupskitten121 (2:08:57 AM): i havent had that in such a long time
pupskitten121 (2:09:13 AM): and it was great
pupskitten121 (2:09:19 AM): it made me feel really good
pupskitten121 (2:09:34 AM): before i fell asleep that night i started thinking
pupskitten121 (2:09:43 AM): and to tell you the truth......
pupskitten121 (2:09:48 AM): ive been thinking since
pupskitten121 (2:12:03 AM): .............

so, what Am I suppose to do .... sigh

2 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 1 June :: 11.50 pm
:: Mood: Pissed The Fuck Off
:: Music: HIM - Razorblade Kiss

Oh Joy ! The Rapture !

O What a Fun Day !!


All I wanted to do today was to go golfin, but no, God laughed at me as he always does and threw everything in the way he could find.  We went to Wallmart to get new balls then we head out.  Get there and its packed, can't get on till 6pm, so we go to wendys and get some grub and chuckies daddy calls and says he can't go cuz he has to drive him to get their van and bring it home, wtf.  So chuck said he would be back at 7 then we could go, but no, oh no, he goes to his soccer practice that he forgets about and to top it off it fucking rains.  


Now to the good stuff.  So one of my most dearest "friends?" , an ex-girlfriend to be exact, messages me tonight about how sad and depressed she is about this guy that she thinks she likes? but she doesn't know because shes a woman.  So I try to cheer her up a little bit and give her some advice to talk to him, but no, she just goes off on how she can't beacause she doesn't know what he would think.  The story goes as that "he", the man she likes, kissed her unexpectedly one night and now shes all gaga over him.  wtf ever.  So after fighting with her awhile I finally loose it and tell her that I can't talk to her anymore because I'm gonna flip shit any second because she won't listen me, oh yes, you guessed it the snuff was in long time ago for this event, cherry flavor at that.  I told her that she should listen to her friends instead of dicking them over all the time.  Now before I said that I knew she would flip out about it and be askin all kinds of questions.  Little does she know that shes dicked me over for a lifetime and a half of uneventful things that don't even matter anymore, but now to bring this shit into it... oh how fucking great. If only she knew how much I really do care for her and that I just want her to be happy ... I was left wit this awesomeness


wild4life59 (11:35:00 PM): FUCK OFF
wild4life59 (11:35:09 PM): if this is how a friend thinks of me
wild4life59 (11:35:16 PM): since im such an idiot
wild4life59 (11:35:23 PM): then i dont need friends like that

6 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 30 May :: 12.12 am
:: Mood: amused

lol I was readin some news article and I found this one very funny. I guess the gooks are bannin a game because it wasn't correct ... go figure .. gooks who want to be correct .. read it yourself

China has banned a Swedish-made computer game accused of "distorting history and damaging China's sovereignty," by showing Manchuria, Tibet and Xinjiang as independent nations, state press said.

The computer game, "Hearts of Iron", made by the Stockholm-based games developer Paradox Entertainment, also showed Taiwan as a part of Japan, Xinhua news agency said, citing a censorship committee under the Ministry of Culture.

"All these severely distort historical facts and violate China's gaming and Internet service regulations," the ministry said. "The game should be immediately prohibited."

All websites are banned from releasing the game and copies of the game on CD-ROM will be confiscated. Sellers will be punished, it said.

Internet bars that provide downloads of the game or fail to stop surfers who download, install or play the game, will be fined or even ordered to stop business, it said.

Earlier this year gaming regulators ordered all copies of a Norwegian-made computer game to be pulled off store shelves after alleging it "smeared" China's national image.

"Project IGI2: Covert Strike" was accused of blackening Beijing and the Chinese army's image by featuring a freelance mercenary stealing intelligence and conducting sabotage in China.

The mercenary fights in the game are across three linked campaigns in the former Soviet Union, Libya and China.

With the popularity of the Internet, computer games have become a booming industry in China.

In 2002, computer games pulled in earnings of 910 million yuan (110 million dollars), according to a report by state-run television station CCTV's website.

Analysts predict growth in the industry will be enormous with rising demand and the improvement of the broadband network and domestic game developers.

China's previous attempts to control burgeoning Internet use has been targeted at politically sensitive messages or essays in online discussions forums, websites and emails.

source -

2 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 27 May :: 9.26 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Staind - Zoe Jane

Awww How Cute
Today was a very very very boring day. No one was home. I didn't even wake up until 5 pm. Went to the Y to shoot and to my surprize there was no one there as always so I left unfullfilled. Played on the computer a lil bit. Pretty Boring Day .. It was Nice out However

On a Lighter Note Erica and I each got our own new pet today !!

My little guy is named Envy and Hers is named Maggie

1 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 25 May :: 1.58 am
:: Mood: awake

so I'm sittin here doing jack shit with a massive skoal spearmen snuffer in and I started to think about shit. Knowing me and When I think bout shit, it all goes wrong and I wanna toss things across the room. I figured I sent Andy 2 bucks to keep my journal alive so I might as well write in it more.

Lets Disscuse my past week shall we.

Hmmm, Monday was a bitchy day, it rained a little but it didn't matter because I was workin 11am - 7pm, doing the normal thing, stockin shit. Went golfin with chuck daddy after I got off and didn't do too bad

Tuesday I was off and slept till about 3 in the afternoon which isn't a feat anymore these days as I could prolly sleep my life away. Jeff came up and played some Mario kart and chewed snuff. Nothing really exciting.

Wednesday on the other hand was quite a trip. Worked 11am - 3pm, which is a gay shift, then went to the YMCA to ball it up. Well it seems my ballin skillz got me into trouble wit some punk ass kid who hit me in the face, I was gonna let it go until I saw blood on my fav shirt so I broke his nose and fled the scene :)

Thursday I was off again so I didn't do jack shit, Went golfin and did bad, got pissed and ate some food

Friday I quit my job because they wouldn't give me it off to see my best friend go to his 1st prom. I know your thinking its a silly event to quit your job over, but the pay and hours sucked and I promised him I would be there for him. He looked all grown up in his suit and tie, which is better then his normal look in boxers, with his date lookin sexy. I was so proud of him. After we took lots of pictures we went to grand march where I shouted his name when he walked out and he giggled like a giddy school boy who just saw his 1st titty. After grand march me and his family headed over to eat n park where they treated me to dinner.

Saturday was boring, went golfin and did semi great. Cappa, Mike, Chuck and me ventured over to pittsburgh to see the buccos win then to cappas appartment to chill a bit then home. Cappa stayed for a few and we played a mean game of shasta ball until Cherrylane Yelled at us..

Sunday, I didn't do shit, Bobby of all people called me at 12 30 at night and wanted to do something ... now you have to understand by something I mean go out and blow shit up. So we went out and got some big ass rocks and placed them in the middle of the road and waited for about 45 mins before our 1st victum came. of all the types of cars in the world this one had to be a freakin herse ... Bam ... front headout gone and one pissed off driver ... this got boring so we relocated to 819. We stole a sign from the local Curves Fitness center and placed it in the middle of the road sideways so you couldn't see it till you were right on it. Our 1st victum was a red sunfire going way over the speed limit and bam .. didn't even stop ... Im sure it did some damage but we didn't see it happen just heard it. He did however come back to see what he hit. So we placed it in the road again and the next 4 cars avoided it .. being pissed we tryed one more time and the 5th car missed it but barely .. He stoped and got out and tossed the sign over the gaurdrail. Sooner or Later we knew the Poe were gonna show up but to our surprize 4 state poe showed up and we got the hell outta there.

Thats all for now me thinks .. thats long enough ...

4 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 19 April :: 2.35 am
:: Mood: angry

Loving You ....
I love you, I love you and not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced attraction puppy dog way although I'm sure that's what you call it. I love you, very simply, very truly. You're the epitome of everything I've ever looked for in another human being and I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it, I just can't take this anymore, I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels, I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably like queer our friendship, but I had to say it cause I've never felt this way before and I don't care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this out tonight means that we can't hang out anymore then that hurts me but God, I couldn't allow another day without getting it out there regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable shoot down and you know I'll accept that but I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment and if there is a moment of hesitation then that means you feel something too and all I ask is that you please not dismiss that and try to dwell on it for just 10 seconds. There isn't another soul on this whole planet who has made me half of the person I am when I'm with you. And I'd risk this friendship for a chance to take it to the next plateau because it's there between you and me you can't deny that. Even if we never talk again after tonight please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me. ........... ... .. ...

4 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 28 March :: 12.25 pm
:: Mood: angry

Die .....
I hate u so fucking much that I wanna nail u to a cross and stick 1000 needles in ur skin, I want to take a sledgehammer and break ur toes, I wanna tear ur fingernails off and pour salt onto them , but u haven't felt anything yet sweetheart, I want to slit ur skin in 8 places and watch u bleed until u are ready to faint and die but no, I'll give u a fucking blood transfusion just so I can keep ur sorry waste of a life alive a lil bit longer, I wanna tear every single piece of hair off ur body 1 by 1 and watch you cry out, I wanna cut ur breasts off and toss them in ur face, I wanna rip one of ur eyes so u can feel half the pain that u have caused me, Then Im going to break each finger 1 by 1 and make a slit in between each 1 and finally when the devil arives on his unholy steed and is ready to claim ur soul, I'm going to spray him with holy water just so I can keep u longer......I Hate u.......

4 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 28 January :: 1.25 am
:: Mood: annoyed

Loving Memory
Touching you is like brimstone
Iím yearning for your heart
Frequently Iím a lost soul
Loneliness is my single treat
All I need is you close by
To help me take a stand
Alone I can only make a sound
Together we can command

Two souls fused make a fearsome blade
To maim which we call foe
Decides who lives and dies as one
All creation shall know

To be as one but never alone
To choose our fate and not be led
Each a hand to grasp the world
And drink from what weíre bled
To look at the dark skies above
And witness what we have made
Who to say these are ill doings
The world now encased in shade

All these things are possible
Victory with each thing faced
But you are the missing puzzle piece
Solitude we shall never taste
The time of a Dark Age is here
A horrified future in view
Become my Queen of Rotting Hearts
My putrid love rests in you

Leave Your Soul

:: 2004 27 January :: 9.02 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

Time is like the Devils breath,
Seeping through serrated teeth.
I feel like I am out of place,
Like a shallow grave with no stone,
No recognition, No one who cares.
Being around you is like the perfect night,
Warm like fresh blood, calm like lifeless eyes,
So many stars I would need your help to count,
One perfect, full, bright, radiant, moon,
The moon resembles you though,
So alone, out of place among the stars,
But yet so stunning beautiful.
I would love to grasp the moon,
Hold it tight against me, and comfort it.
To let it know that Iím looking when no one else is,
That I admire the comfort in the darkness.
Alas the moon has distance between it and I,
Like earth between two soul mates coffins.
So close yet the connection is incomplete.

I am not fading away as the sun begins to rise,
I wish for eternal darkness.
To gaze at the beauty, the lovely white moon,
And hope I may see her again very soon.

Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 19 December :: 4.46 pm

You met her a few months ago, and somehow she managed to seep into your subconscious like that "Suga how you get so fly" song. Just like you have no clue who the hell sings it, you don't know why she's there. But she is, whether you like it or not. You know her cell phone, her room phone. You can dial her Aunt Doreen's house in West Springfield (where she goes to do her laundry every two weeks) faster than you can peck-out 911. But she doesn't know.

Her screenname, that generic one with her first name followed by three to five random numbers or UMass, has its own category at the top of your buddy list. Not only do you know what a "Buddy Alert" is, you've rigged your computer to play "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" from "Tommy Boy" every time her screen name changes from gray to black. Then her away message comes down, and you have a decision to make. To IM or not to IM? These are the ridiculous games that you play on a daily basis. But she doesn't know.

She's it. All right, so maybe not "it" it. Not necessarily Ms. Right, but closer to Ms. Right-up-there-with-Anna-Kournikova-and-Lizzie-McGuire-on-your-list-of-people-you'd-give-anything-to-be-stranded-with-on-a-broken-down-elevator. But it's about more than that. When is it ever about more than that? Never. Not like frilly white dress, overpriced catering, embarrassing drunk in-laws more, but closer to UMass sweatpants, two D.P. Dough Roni Zonies, a futon and a movie you have no interest in seeing more. But she doesn't know.

She's gorgeous, but gorgeous is an understatement. More like you're startled every time you see her because you notice something new in a "Where's Waldo" sort of way. More like you can't stop writing third grade run-on sentences because you can't remotely begin to describe something ... someone ... so inherently amazing. But you're a writer. You can describe anything. That's what you do: pictures to words, events to words, words to even better words. But nothing seems right. More like you're afraid that if you stare at her for too long, you'll prove your parents right: that yes, your face will stick that way. But you wouldn't mind.

You wouldn't mind that the questioning, "Hello?" on the other end makes you want to smile and throw up at the same time. You wouldn't mind worrying about what to get her for her birthday and spending $300 when you only have $17.50 and a Triple-A card to your name. You wouldn't mind that she left your TV on and the blaring infomercials wake you up at 4 a.m. ... because it gives you a chance to watch her sleep. You don't mind that you've slipped up twice when you were hammered and hinted at how you feel, but she was too drunk to remember. So she doesn't know.

Sure, she's pretty, but it's about more than that. You two connect. Anything you throw at her, she can throw right back. You figured out what's going on in that predictable head of hers in under five minutes, but something tells you her heart would take about five years.

You remember everything she's ever said to you, and when that freaks her out you blame it on your photographic memory (which is a lie, you have a 2.7 GPA). You can't remember your teaching assistant's name, and you can't remember that your Puffton rent check was due four days ago, yet you remember the middle name of the kid who tripped her in fifth grade and gave her that cute little scar on her shoulder. Maybe it's because you actually listen when she talks. When do you actually listen? Never. But she doesn't know.

But she has a boyfriend. The kid is a tool, and you are not. He has no redeeming qualities, and you have about 38, even when you're hung over. You could kick his butt, and you've never been in a fight in your life. He treats her like crap, and you would treat her like the princess she believed herself to be on Halloween in 1988.

But she loves him. He wouldn't know what he had even if she slapped him across the face and dumped him, but somehow she still loves him. And somehow she still doesn't know.

Then, out of nowhere, she slaps him across the face and dumps him. She comes to you. You've been there before, so you seem like the smartest guy on earth. She cries, but your corny half-joke, half-compliment somehow gets a smile out of her that almost makes you feel ashamed that you're the only one around who gets to witness it. It looks like you might make her realize that all guys don't deserve to have rocks thrown at them.

But nothing changes. She doesn't know. You get that library elevator feeling in your stomach that she'll never know. You get that feeling that you'll be forced to write a cheesy Collegian column about her that makes "Sleepless in Seattle" look like "Girls Gone Wild."

You go to sleep. You wake up. She doesn't know. You're not in love. You're not obsessed. You blame it on the fact that you just need to get some, but still, it's about more than that. It would just be nice if once in your life, things worked out the way you wanted them to.

So......., it's about time you know.

6 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 15 November :: 2.27 am
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Staind - So Far Away

Last Post Maybe ?

7 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 26 October :: 8.45 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Adema

a lil riddle ......
Heres 2 riddles fer ya all ..Can ya figure them out ? post and see if your right.. Ill post the answers In a few Days or So

The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it, the user doesn't see it. What is it?

It can't be seen, it can't be felt. It can't be heard, it can't be smelt. It lies under hills, and behind stars. It empties holes it fills. It comes first, and follows after. It ends life, it kills laughter. What is it?

1 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 20 October :: 1.12 pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Sublime - Santeria

Puzzled ??
well only one word can express my feelings for what happened yesterday....."wow"

thats all there can really be said.....

someone from the past has finally talked to me since 5 months .... I really didn't know what to say, there was so much to be said. Alot of me was pretty angry but I kept self control and Just heard her out.... she said alot of things that just brought things back from the past that I didn't want to remember ... I let the past be the past... She needs to handle some things in her life that even I can't help her with but I will be there for her for when she needs it and I want her to know that...... There will always be a place in my heart for her .....

also ... this made my mood cheer up a little .. its just amazing what you can find on the internet ...


1 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 15 October :: 8.02 am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet

tuesday was just a bad day , nuff said

1st of all my friend forgot to take me home with him so I had to drive myself, which i wasn't in the mood for.
2nd I almost ran someone over, it would have been his fault but since I was in the car drivin it would have been my fault and I would have been pissed off, cuz if he didn't die on impact i was going to kill him.
3rd school work overload, im sick of school, im sick of tests and im deff sick of writting papers....
4th ... memories that I can't get out of my head, there startin to make me depressed and pissed off all at once and I don't know what to do about them.. I just can't stop thinking .... What If ....

5 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 12 October :: 11.28 pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Archie - We Ready

Ahhhh Shit !
I have 4 papers due tommorow and a big ass test ... its 11:30... and I haven't started yet !! will kinte get done ? hahaha wish me luck !!!

hahaha Im Sooooooooo The Angry Bot


2 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 10 October :: 1.25 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: English Class Teacher Talkin !!

I guess I should give an update on how I am and how Im doing? ... but who really cares... no one ... so why update? maybe cuz Im bored and I Have nothing better to do right now then type in this thing..... So I turned in my 24 page Essay about my fathers death 5 mins ago and Im eagerly waitin on it to be check because I know its perfect...... College life is pretty easy so far, I haven't failed anything yet so thats always a +.. Sometimes I find myself layin in my top bunk bed just thinkin about the past and what I have gone thru so far in my life and just looking back on what I did wrong in some places... but I have yet to figure it out ... nuff for now ... more homework to do ... Later

3 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 1 October :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Bonnie Tyler !!

If you wanna leave
I won't beg you to stay
And if you gotta go darling
Maybe it's better that way
I'm gonna be strong
I'm gonna do fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just walk out that door
Yeah see if I care
Go on and go now but
Don't turn around
Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking
Don't turn around
I don't want you seeing me cry
Just walk away
It's tearing me apart that you're leaving
I'm letting you go
But I won't let you know
I won't miss your arms around me
Holding me tight
If you ever think about me
Just know that I'll be alright
I'm gonna be strong
I'm gonna do fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
I know I'll survive
Sure I'll make it through
And I'll even learn to live without you
Don't turn around
Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking
Don't turn around
I don't want you seeing me cry
Just walk away
It's tearing me apart that you're leaving
I'm letting you go
But I won't let you know

I wish I could scream out loud
That I love you
Wish I could say to you
Don't go don't go don't go but

Don't turn around
Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking
Don't turn around
I don't want you seeing me cry
Just walk away
It's tearing me apart that you're leaving
I'm letting you go
But I won't let you know

2 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 1 October :: 2.05 pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: Saliva - Rest in Pieces

I haven't wrote in here for awhile ... I have a few things I will be addin in the furture .. not sure I want to make them public though....
I Could take this time to discuss college life but I ain't in the mood. Been thinkin about things that have happened in the past... and just... Nevermind ... Not getting into that shit either .... Ill write something later on maybe ... If i decide to go public with anymore of my feelings ....

Leave Your Soul

:: 2003 30 August :: 5.36 pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: Fabalous- So Into You

Last Breathe
He was dying
Gasping for his last air.
The pain was unbearable,
But he did not seem to care.

He was reaching out for someone,
To help him save his life.
But as always there was noone,
So he slowly pulled out the knife.

He watched his spirit leave him,
Like a vision in a dream.
He closed his eyes and hoped that someone,
Would hear his final scream.

He thought about the one he loved,
And softly spoke her name.
But all he could feel inside,
Was only guilt and shame.

As the darkness took him over,
He tried desperatly to rise.
Above him words did echo,
"Suffer thee who dies."

1 Souls Left | Leave Your Soul

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