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dabestyougot69
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2010 13 February :: 11.55am
:: Mood: full
Is it over?
I am fine.
Thank you dearly
for your time.
I'll be leaving.
Don't you cry.
I'll be back soon.
At least I'll try...
Can't you see?
There is no time to think
Selfishly.
Yesterday's gone.
Tomorrow's here.
Can't turn back now.
I won't quit.
I still love You.
I swear.
I always will.
I.
Always.
Will.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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tuwang
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2010 11 February :: 11.54am
It's not that it happened, its that you don't understand why
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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2010 11 February :: 8.02am
They always play the saddest songs at starbucks when I'm in a sad mood...
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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2010 11 February :: 7.59am
:: Mood: frustrated
She's so much like me, it's effing disgusting. fjkdslfjdl;jfdk;lajfd;lafj;da
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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2010 10 February :: 10.24am
I want you here.
Or I awnt someone else.
I want both.
Or. Just you here.
I need you.
This distance isn't going to work anymore.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 9 February :: 8.27pm
I feel so dizzy i think i might induce puking.
Everything is spinning and I can't seem to grasp onto any sort of oxygen.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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2010 9 February :: 8.24pm
Look at me now, A man who won't let himself be.
Down in a hole.
Feelin so small.
Down in a hole.
Losing control.
I'd like to flyyyyyy.
But my wings have been so denied.
I am losing control of everything.
I'm freakin sick of this crap..
I dn't get joy when looking at you anymore.
All I see if a lifetime of mistakes.
gdkjlafjdklfjdklafeiowfnmlkdfsmalf
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 7 February :: 3.27pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: The widow.-ACB
I'm holding on, and I don't know why.
I've forgotten why I used to fight.
I have this hope, but don't want to use it.
There's nothing to hope for anymore.
I want to feel, but you don't want me to.
How can I rewrite our past?
I'm putting everything plus one hundred into this
And I can't feel myself anymore.
Combustion. That's my fate.
You're so worth losing myself for.
And I know you'd never let that happen.
But it is. And I am silently fading.
I've been feeling so much for you, that everything else feels dead.
And when things are bad with us
life doesn't exist.
You know more than anything
that it's impossible to restrict my feelings.
They seemed to have gone insane
And there's no stopping them.
I can't make it without you.
because you let me live with you.
and when you want to take it away
it fear i might not be able to make it without you.
I won't tell you, that i can't make it without you
but I am dying. without you
because i am alive. with you.
But I won't tell.
I'll just fall. Secretly in love.
Secretly. I am fading.
I want to be everything you need.
I'm killing my identity just to try.
And it's worth it, you're worth it, always have been.
I'd die for you. I mean it.
I want things. I really do. But i'd still never share them with you.
I am not good enough to ask for anything.
I want to tell you all this.
But I can't.
Because I don't
want you
to think
this is
the same.
as it's been.
And so, I let my feelings remain, hidden.
I think this is...the end.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 7 February :: 2.30pm
p.s. Youaretheonlythingthatfeelsright.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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2010 7 February :: 2.25pm
:: Music: To whom it may concern-UnderOATH
Ah, innocense.
Haven't written in what feels like months.
It's only been two days..
That tells you how I've been doing lately.
I feel awful.
And to the very extent it that word.
Things just...Suck.
I want to make them better
but everytime I do, I do something in my fricken subconscious to mess it up. Why must I always ruin things that are good!?
Ugh.
I already miss you.
Even though you're not gone.
I hope your thoughts aren't taking you to places that they don't need to be
and that you still are holding onto that last glimpse of hope.
I'm sorry I am screwed up.
Staying would be suicide...
But. I. love you.
I wouldn't ever ask you to stay. because I know dealing with me is the worst thing ever.
Please...Leave. I don't want to hurt you, and I always seem to hurt me.
:[
I'm sorry I am such a waste.
Forgive me for wanting you to let me in
I know, I don't deserve it.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 5 February :: 8.57am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Misty.
things.
I should be getting ready to go out. But I am not.
I'm lost in my own selfish thoughts and desires.
Wanting nothing more than to hear your voice, touch your skin, feel your warmth.
God. This is harder than it's ever been.
But so worth it.
I know one day, it will all be better, and everything will be worth it.
I'm closing the door on my past. Completely.
Erasing names, memories, getting rid of the baggage I've kept stored in my closet for the longest time,
I have no room for any of that, because I am moving up to something worth keeping.
I love you, Mister. And I am devoted.
You are my reason.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 4 February :: 11.31am
:: Mood: uncomfortable
:: Music: Quiet-Lights
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifreakinmissyouuuuuuuu
I will...never let you fall.
I'll stand up for you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me in heaven.
Cuz you're my
my.
My true love.
My whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
Cuz I'm here, for you.
And only you
Please don't walk away now
Please tell me you'll stay.
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray, gray,.
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me in heaven.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 4 February :: 5.41am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: 30 days-NSN
Lots of topics.
Date: February 4th, 2010
Time: 5:41 am PST
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, and luminate the notes on their vacancy sign
If there's no one beside you, as your soul embarks...I will follow you into the dark.
EDIT:
Time: 5:53 am
Need to freakin write my paper. Why do I keep looking at my phone, wanting to hear your voice.
I know you're sleepingggg and I want to wake you up and kiss you all over.
:] iloveyou.
And i hate how cute and "lovey" i get with you. I've lost my balls...I mean what!?
EDIT:
Time 6:02 am
I caved. Haha I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hearing your voice.
Ahh my heart comes alive.
:*
EDIT:
Time: 6:44 am
I love how Woohu logs you out if you're not active for like half an hour.
:]
I finished my essay, remembered to print out my other one, and now I have to remember to bring a stapler for Brianna. Hahaha.
Do you see my staplerr?
^_^
Sean called me last night...which was weird.
I wonder why!?
Maybe he can answer my question on here, because I know he reads this.
I am going to go.
I need to get more sleep but I know i won't be able to.
Darnit!
haha
Dar n it!
ilybby.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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2010 3 February :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Ifyournottheone-db
Failure.
I feel more apart from you than ever.
One little thing.
I knew today was going to royally suck.
I just hope that I am wrong.
I'm frustrated with everything.
Ugh.
Tell me there's nothing to worry about,
and everything is going to be ok.
Because I'm already used to you.
I've opened my heart up again for you.
And if it gets broken again, I think I might die.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 3 February :: 1.55am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Dinner @ The money table-TEN
Sleep Deprivation
Hahha. Well...My plans to wake up at eleven slowly came to a fail and I woke up at two instead...And now I am fully awake and missing the boy who makes my heart soar.
I woke up hella dehydrated. And I want someone to lay with. And if I go back to sleep, I hope to wake up at four so I can get ready for work and whatknot.
Mannn
it feels good to have money.
And it feels better to have someone who knows me inside and out and desires what I do.
Dear nonboyfriendbutweactlikeit: I love you. :D
And you're lucky I'm feeling pretty nice, or you'd be getting a call from me right about now... O_o
I wish I could call you...ahh I am so lonely.
Oh well.
When we talk tomorrow...or...today, it will be better.
Even though I have crappy work all day. Lol
Lose-lose situation..
But I still love you
and you still love me.
So its kinda a win-win.
Or...they even out...so it's a normal-normal...
Idk.
my brain is off.
And I don't want to turn it back on.
And my eyes hurt
And TEN is singing to me about disappointments.
Goshhh
I'd kill to hear your voice.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 2 February :: 11.18am
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: Your Guardian Angel-RJA
Love/lust/all that is between.
There's something in this new adventure that isn't new at all.
You are my familiar.
And I have missed you.
For once in my life I don't care about anything or anyone but us.
I want us to be. Perfect.
And I know perfection is so far fetched, but my life with you IS perfect.
Because nothing is wrong when I've got you.
You complete me in every way possible.
From the first time I met you, I knew something special was in store for our future.
Everything in our history is so epically "us."
I'm so glad I took that leap of faith, and talked to you again.
As of right now, I never want to let you go.
Ever.
One day I hope to see you at the end of the altar.
I love you with my entirety.
Not a day went by when we were apart that I didn't get reminded of you one way or another. I can't live life without seeing your reflection in something.
You give things meaning.
After loving you, my prince, I can NEVER be the same.
You're the only voice my heart can recognize.
Hmmm..
I want to spend forever in this place.
I am enslaved to your love.
You are my reason.
I love you.
So completely.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 1 February :: 11.33am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Forever&always-ts
Once upon a time.
So...I have been very productive.
I have cleaned my whole house, kitchen bathrooms etc, and washed my father's truck.
I guess i haven't done that much.
but now I have to write a paper.
Which I have to due before I go to work tonight, at 5.
I've decided to give up on you.
Because I just need to.
I don't know.
I don't want you.
because you will just say It's about time.
and I'm not doing it for selfish reasons.
I am just doing it.
Doesn't matter why.
So...
The end.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 29 January :: 2.55pm
:: Mood: cynical
Sand rains down, and here I sit
Holding rare flowers in a tomb...
In bloom.
You are such a waste of time. Thanks for reminding me.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 28 January :: 9.20am
Guess not
I've been taken away by an overwhelming sense of pleasure.
And not the physical kind, which I don't appreciate as much these days, but the kind that's easily snatched away by an intruder I've allowed in, and decided to roam and mess things up.
But.
For now. I am happy.
And completely.
I know.
this isn't going to last.
And I know
that I am going to be upset
and hurt
and completely obliterated by anxiety/stress/longing.
But I care not.
I have you.
And if only for a time, then only for a time.
You've been spending so much time in California. Physical manifestation isn't necessary.
I love you.
The end. Soon.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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dabestyougot69
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::
2010 28 January :: 9.15am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: N.A
Missing you
Yeah...basically. That's all.
ZOMG, that's not my voice mail...
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