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:: 2006 18 February :: 9.15 am
:: Mood: psh

I dunno what to say....I really don't.....I'm hurt.

6 wait.....eternity


:: 2006 13 February :: 7.29 am

Shit! Sorry I forgot to post it babe, or even say it, but happy fifteen months! Wow, it's a new "track" record!!!! You know I love you. This much!!! l-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------l

Have a good day hun, call me when you get done!

"I want you to want me"


:: 2006 8 February :: 10.35 pm

Tae Kwon Do was awesome today. Sorry we didn't get to talk much hun, I was hoping you would call earlier, but you musta been out or somethin. That's okay, I'll make sure to get a hold of you today(thursday). I'll call until I get you, haha. My body is getting toned too! It's all around cool. The sensei even invited me to an invite-only sparring tournament on next friday, and after seeing me only two days! Ah, I like being good at something. Anywho, everybody should keep in communication with me, I love hearing from everyone.

Love, Jeremiah



:: 2006 6 February :: 10.15 pm

Well, made it home safely. Miss my babykins already though. I only hafta wait a little bit though, yay! Yeah, so I went walking around a little bit, and found a Tae Kwon Do school! It's fuckin awesome. The teacher is a 7th dan, one of only twelve in the U.S., and the only one in washington. He's also won two gold medals in the olympics. Sweet. So yeah, I got to train with them too, it was fuckin awesome too! I love martial arts :) <3 Gah, I'm so sore, but it's TOTALLY worth it!

Night babe



:: 2006 5 February :: 8.32 pm

Gah, my most formidable opponent is this fucking thing called time.....grr. I hope as much as fucking hell that there is a happy future in front of me. There will be, I'll make sure of it. I love you with all my beingness, you are the most happy thing I've ever found.

I LOVE you babe, keep in touch, lets keep working hard. Our prize is on the horizon!

"Son of a ditch!"


:: 2006 2 February :: 9.19 pm

All right! All I have to do is get on that bus tomorrow, I can't wait! I should arrive at 4:30 or so, so if you could meet me at the bus station hunny, that would be great! I'm staying at kellen's mom's house, yeah that's kinda weird, but okay. At least it's not my parents (blegh).

I met this spanish guy from cuba today, he was cool. We spoke spanish, it was awesome! He was even this old man cute type of character, and was passionate about a lot of things he was saying. I asked him to be my friend and speak spanish with me, and he said it would be his pleasure, so I said the pleasure was all mine. His name is Armundo. Anywho, I also missed my babykins a lot, but I get to see her tomorrow. I'm looking forward to everything being okay again, it melts my heart.

"come what may, I will love you till my dying day"

p.s. Babe, I have a hickey on my neck, and I know YOU musta gave it to me! I can't give them to myself!

1 What | up

:: 2006 31 January :: 12.49 pm
:: Mood: crying

p.s. My most cared for memory, was when you sang "I'll Be" to me, and let me hold on to you so tightly. I felt like I never wanted to let go, and that I'd always be able to be in your arms with you making things better for me. I'm crying now because I don't want that memory to fade just hurts so much to think I'm gonna lose you and everything between us.

I love you.............*tear drops*


:: 2006 31 January :: 6.39 am

This is so weird. My heart hurts, and I can't make it stop. Seems like the only things that help are thinking everything will be okay, and her showing her affection to me, in the way that she wants to love me, and not like she's obligated. You do love me right? Cause I love you. How important am I to you? I dunno, I feel like I'm not as important as I should be, just being your boyfriend or whatever. It's kinda like I'm there, and that's great and all, but it doesn't seem like you have a fear of losing me. Lemme tell you, I'm scared as hell to lose you. I have that problem with abandonment, I don't like being left by the ones I love. I have finally found my fear, and that's losing you. It's like the universe has just placed this loving relationship in my hands, and made me happy, and now it's gonna take who's become the most important person ever to me away.

It's not my body that's sore and needs loving's my heart.


:: 2006 28 January :: 9.49 am
:: Mood: loving

I love that woman, she's proven to me her ability to persist through thick and thin. We're going to work through this, diligently, and I'm not stopping till things are okay and well. I promise you that hun, that's my vow, to make you happy. I'd like to do that with you though, as opposed to not with you, so please allow me to do such. Things will be all right, I gaurentee it!

"The greatest thing you'll EVER learn, is just to love, and be loved in return" (remember that everybody)


:: 2006 28 January :: 12.01 am

I am not giving up. I appreciate you trying to do the good thing by furthering yourself away from me babe, to try and save yourself from hurting me. I'm telling you now that that action is admirable, but I do not need it. This only shows how much you love me, you wanna go to the lengths of furthering yourself away from me in order to not hurt either of us. I am telling you now that I love you, and what I'm going to do is get through this next week, come back for you for the superbowl party, and get this handled. If I back down and just let this be the way it is, I'll be a failure to myself forever and ever. If I truly wanna show greatness, I have to suck up WHATEVER is thrown at me, no matter how painful or hurtful it is, and handle it. I am willing to go to all lengths to do that for us, it's how much I care. Even if you are hating my guts, I will put up with it until this matter is solved and handled. Call me tomorrow morning, I'd like to hear your voice! I love you, and I love you more than you know, and I know you love me more than I know(haha, too many knows).

Still your boyfriend whether you acknowledge it or not cause it's how much I care and stand by you no matter what, Jeremiah

2 Whats | up

:: 2006 26 January :: 9.55 pm
:: Mood: down

Yeah.....just feelin kinda down. I tried to call you like twenty minutes after you left, but nobody answered. I miss you hun, my heart hurts it really does. I wanna talk to you, we haven't gotten to talk much lately, and it sucks hardcore. I kinda feel like maybe you don't want to talk to me, but maybe that's just a false pretense. It's hard, cause we have a lot of shit to talk out, but I don't really wanna, I just want things to be good like they should so that I can just love you and not have worries. I want you to be my crying shoulder, love suicide, better when you're older, the greatest fan of my life. I miss you, and my heart is cracking......please fix it before it shatters.

1 What | up

:: 2006 25 January :: 7.44 pm
:: Mood: rawry
:: Music: Sum 41- Pieces

God damnet. I don't know what to do anymore. You know what, I think I'm done reaching my hand out there to try and help people and help those people help others. I am working on a giant fucking game, to salvage this planet, making the able more able, and over all just help. It pisses me off, it really does, that people don't know what I'm doing, and they just take hear say, and are content living with lies about what I do instead of actually taking a look. If anybody actually got up from where they're at, and made a decision to rise above the mud this world has blinded people with as a social veneer, then go and see that there are beings out there willing to put everything they've got into helping everybody that asked for it, one would assume those actions are a good thing. But you know what, I can't, and am not going to hold out my helping hand to those who don't want it, I'll move on to those who want to better themselves, no matter what stage in life their in, because they are able and want a bigger game. If you read this, don't take it personally, it's just to all the namby-pamby ass paintywaist bunch of dilletantes (summed up weak weakass bunch of superficial bitc.....people) who want nothing more but to lead their "content" lives without ever moving far from the comfort zone. You know what, fine, fuck it. I'm not trying anymore for them, I'll move on, others out there want more outta life, and I'm willing to help them. I'm sorry, I'm just rawry right now, and sick of being disrespected and not actually looked at for who I really am. Forget I said anything, I just had to get it out.

"what is true for you, is true for you, never forget that"


:: 2006 22 January :: 8.42 pm

Well I went out and got my hair straightener....boy that was akward.....but I got a ceramic one, so I'm happy. I won't have to do that again! Until this one breaks I suppose.....

"Please just don't play with me, my paper heart will bleed"

p.s. I found my old teddy bear! He can sleep with me and Jury tonight....psh, since I'm so lonely. Now I really understand why people have stuffed animals, it's for sleeping with them when you're lonely.


:: 2006 21 January :: 9.45 pm
:: Mood: ...



:: 2006 21 January :: 12.12 am


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