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2008 14 April :: 12.14 am
‘Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments; love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove. O no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks upon tempests and is never shaken.’
I don’t think, based on the writings of countless authors, the light in a thousand paintings, the emotion behind poems simple and brilliant alike, that I’m wrong for thinking about love in this way. If love is real then the excerpt above is truth. I have a fresh and innocent perspective on love; despite having my heart severely broken, I have somehow held cynicism at bay. I have been wondering lately if perhaps I should become cynical to preserve myself. Just the thought, however, makes my body retch against its implicit wrongness. Love with everything you have or it is not love. Love with passion bordering on insanity or deaden your soul against all the beauty life has to offer. If you cannot look at trees and mountains and lakes without boundless euphoria then you’ll never experience anything outside your own selfish mind, including the complete connection with another soul.
People have said that you follow the path of life as it comes, and that you cannot tell which direction you will end up taking. But imagine walking on a path and then falling into darkness because it wasn’t a true path at all. You were lead down a false path by a liar and left there alone to fall into darkness. You don’t fall in love and then change your mind, or it was never love at all. Or you don’t have the courage and strength to follow your heart through adverse circumstances in which case you are weak and deplorable and undeserving of true love.
‘Today, when I saw you, I realized that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion.’
Strip yourself of issues, hang-ups, and let yourself feel the rawness of passion for another soul. This is required of both persons involved, or nonsensical, situational, arbitrary things will begin to create a divide…perhaps even despite the trueness of the connection and love. It is your own fault if you let circumstances change your feelings. In this case, you are lying to yourself and foregoing a truly rare connection which could lead to lifelong happiness. This is pitiful, unnecessary, and sad. Shame on you for letting it happen.
It is also true that there are those born without the capacity for open, raw emotion. For the most part I think these people are sociopaths. The rest have the capability, but most have hidden it underneath layers of experiences (chosen or put upon them). Society places upon us norms and rights and wrongs that are neither normal nor right nor wrong. Strip yourself of these and follow your heart because it will never lead you astray.
The likelihood of experiencing this kind of powerful passion for multiple persons in one lifetime is negligible at best, so therefore I don’t doubt that the rest of my life could perhaps be spent in solitary exploration of the world and my place in it. The alternative is to settle for anything less than what I have thus far described, which is unacceptably more pathetic than leading a life independent, inquisitive, and adventurous.
penny for your thoughts? |