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cleverlinesunread
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2009 4 October :: 2.21pm
:: Music: Brand New
The Brand New concert was amazing. I've never been to a concert where a band played so long and incorporated every single album, and not just one song, but at least a few from each. Even their first album. Not only that, but they gave a lot of their songs a new style and changed them up a lot to keep them interesting, but have their fans still be able to sing along. Jesse's voice is even more powerful, beautiful, and soft in person. I got teary eyed when they played some songs from Deja Entendu. In front of me there was this one guy who was just SO into it. He was drunk, of course, but I didn't see him as obnoxious. He knew the words, he felt the music, and he was just so into it and then to my right there was another guy who was also really feeling it. I don't know.. I guess seeing other people, complete strangers especially, connecting to something as much as I do is just a beautiful thing. To know that though we're all different, strangers, and life separate lives we can all have an emotional, deep connection to something breath taking. It doesn't matter how someone dresses or how they look, some people will completely surprise you. And it's not about having similar tastes in music, it's about connecting to words on such a level that you feel your entire body bursting at the seams. I think that, itself, is breath taking.
::Find Yourself::
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 4 October :: 8.24am
:: Music: Frightened Rabbit
As each day comes to an end I am starting to freak out a little more. I am not ready, I don't know what to pack, the physical training is going to kill me, waking up at 5:30 is going to kill me, not having my own space, sitting in classes, etc. etc. etc.
I am a very routine person. I love to experience new things, I love to travel, I love to be spontaneous and just go, and I love learning new things, but when it comes to my every day normal life I am very routine and organized.
I am scared, I am nervous, but when I really think about my life I can't imagine going on how I am. Yeah, it's been great and fun and I've made tons of amazing memories, but am I really living with purpose? No. Am I making any sort of change? Other than recycling, no. My biggest purpose in life cannot be recycling. So, this is it.
I kind of want to struggle and be disciplined and not want to wake up every day and help other people, but do it anyway. Generally people live very selfish lives and I can easily say I do and it's time for a change.
I suppose what I am most nervous about is how the people are going to be. My team leaders and team mates. I don't know what to expect and I want to go in being myself, but what if who I am doesn't mesh with my team? And what if everyone just looks at me as a joke because I'm not exactly muscly. I really don't want people to look at me as weak. Though I won't say I can't lift a whole lot and I may not be all that strong physically, but I do think I am bringing something to the table worth value.
Ugh. None of this matters. I am doing this either way. Worrying is stupid. I am just anxious and want to be there already so I can see what I am dealing with and well, deal with it.
::Find Yourself::
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cleverlinesunread
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2009 30 September :: 11.44am
:: Music: Sybris
Portraits.
I love taking pictures of people. Not because of the photos I get or what I capture, but because of how the models react when they see themselves. Hearing things about how they've never seen themselves that way or how they feel attractive. How it's the first time they've actually liked how they looked in photos. Or how they never thought they could model, but now they do, etc. I love it. I love making people feel good about themselves and have something they want to show off and feel proud about. People often ask me why I like taking photos of people so much and why I don't really take photos of other things often. Well buildings, trees, and animals, as great as they are, don't react quite the same way. Taking a photo of them won't make them happy or feel good, they'll just be. I like helping people realize their beauty and in the process feel good about themselves.
::Find Yourself::
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