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| lp13a13ex54x (profile) wrote, on 6-25-2003 at 9:19pm | |
| Current mood: aggravated Music: michelle branch- are you happy now? Subject: *Erin* |
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| well, i think i pissed off erin earlier because i told her that i wasnt breaking up with ray. or maybe its not just that, but i dont know what i did. my comp froze and i had to restart it and when i got back online and imed her saying im sorry but i had to restart she just signed off. peachy. just peachy. she seemed kinda upset that i didnt break things off with him but understand that im just trying to have one relationship that MAY work out after all of this is over with. i DID consider her advice, its not that i didnt. i just had to come to my own decision eventually and now that i did im pretty satisfied with it. im talking to robby right now and melody. fancy ppl. i was gonna go up to the skate park but im tired of looking for ray because if he wants me hes gonna have to come around himself. i dont think thats being too harsh afterall ive been on call for the past couple days and i havnt gotten anything out of it. sam offered to drop me off up there but i told her that it was alright. so i didnt give in to temptation for once. kudos right? yeah whatever..i want ray really bad =( urgh..oh wells. you know, theres alot of things i regret in life. i cant believe i actually hung aorund as long as i did waiting for zane to come around. hes just a fool for missing what he could of had and im sure everyone else sees that but him. he can have the beaver and in all honesty i hope hes happy. because hell never be with me again and ill make sure of that. im glad that i got up enough courage the other day to tell him that i didnt want to be on talking terms with him right now and that everything isnt alright between us. im glad he realizes that it isnt as well. so at least that much is settled. i didnt block him or anything but thats good because i dont feel like i should. i think its better for me to practice being stronger and having to will to NOT i.m him even if i see him online. he hasnt been online lately though so i think that he went to texas or something like that..anyway it doesnt concern me. wow, you hear that? lol all i wanna do this summer is be with ray and my close friends and work on myself. my personality, my body, everything, until im ssatisfied. because thats all i need and its all im gonna ask for, for now. i just wanna be happy. in a way i think its good that im actually letting someone else in my heart for once, and not completely shutting every living creature out just because im afraid of getting hurt. im still afraid but i feel like i have a sense of willpower now, and the power to get myself out of situations where i feel threatened, or to just stand up and try to make it better. its pretty neat, you should try it. lol. seems guys arent as bad as i thought they all were. who wouldda thunk it huh? eh heh. i can now let people in just as much as i need, and enough to not get that hurt. and thats good for now. i have to say that for the most part im a pretty happy girl. well see how long it lasts =/ ill leave you guys with a song for the one and only true bastard in my life..**** <~~ ::points::..yeah..him.. now dont just walk away pretending everythings okay and you dont care 'bout me and i know its just no use when all your lies become your truths and i don't care could you look me in the eyes and tell me that youre happy now would you tell it to my face or have i been erased are you happy now? are you happy now? and you, took all there was to take and left me with an empty plate and you don't care 'bout it and i, am giving up this game and leaving you with all the blame 'cause i dont care yeah yeah yeah could you look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now would you tell it to my face oh, are you happy now? are you happy now? do you really have everything you want you could never give something you aint got You can't run away from yourself could you look me in the eye and tell me that youre happy now yeah yeah come on tell it to my face or have i been replaced are you happy now would you look me in the eye could you look me in the eye Ive had all that I can take and Im about to break 'Cause youre happy now Are you happy now? ...thats the way it goes. |
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xcherrycherrysx | WORD, 06-25-03 10:21pm no way dood...
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lp13a13ex54x | Re: WORD, 06-25-03 10:37pm dont worry about it bro..ive been there,lol..just got over the periodating..hmmm...::raises eyebrow and winks at ray:: lol...yeah i kno i luv dat crazy bastard too, yeah u KNO hes packin, lol. i miss him alot though.. =( i hope everythings okay, and i really hope im making the right decision because i feel pretty confident about it..but you know how i can get when im all with the mixed emotions and whatnot..i guess anything can happen, but! well see! and AGAIN its alright shh go to sleep! ::pets your hair:: i was just so worried that u were upset , i thought u just figured i didnt care about your advice! but alas i deed! reheeelli! you mean sooooo much to me pal! rehelli! i love you THIS much! ::throws the world at you:: ...oops... wells you must come down again on like friday if we can work something out cus gesh what! danny and jules and ivan are gonna be there on friday and saturday night! whoop whoop! wells im gonna go ur'a blinkin! lol, wuv you! xoxox 477 byes! -Stephanie |