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sandatthebeach (profile) wrote,
on 9-6-2005 at 8:28pm
Current mood: crappy
Subject: Crushed Pineapples
I'm so fucking insecure it's great. Maybe I'm supposed to be alone...forever...what if I'm supposed to be a nun for real? I don't know, I'm having issues with...crap. I fucking hate the way that I am sometimes...

Can you really fall out of love in a short period or time? Someone you've loved for so long...just suddenly decide hey, I wanna move on. I just, I dont' know, I think it's impossible to have such sudden change of heart. Or maybe I'm just a loser for taking way to long to move on, you know? I mean, it took me 3 years to get over someone....a few months? Is it possible? I don't know. I read some things that made me really jealous and upset all at the same time. Then I felt stupid and got really insecure and just wanted to lock myself in my room, hide under the covers and hide from the world. I think I'm pushing away everyone. I hate being alone yet I'm the one who puts myself in that position. I hate people but I don't. Maybe I'm just sick of me and my bullshit. I hate burdening other people with it so I just dwell on it...forever...until I crack.

I want to go outside right now and just screa really really loudly because I feel like I'm suffocated. Not because my nose is stuffy but just everything inside feels trapped and I want to take my brain out and just chuck it at a moving train then make myself a new that doesn't think so much....I'm make a brain that only concentrates on school so I can be smart.

And that's my rant.

Always, Sandy
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09-06-05 11:56pm

I love you sandy kimis. I wrote alot here, but realized anyone could read it. If you need anything, call me. Okay? I miss seeing you. You are much too busy. :-)

(reply to this)


Re:, 09-07-05 9:51pm

I miss you too, Patrice. A lot.

You've got yourself a good boy. I think I do's's not good. No me gusta man.

I love you, Patrice Gentile!

(reply to comment)


09-22-05 1:04am

you're funny even when you're angry...hehe because you're stuffed.

good luck sandy kim. i dont know what to say besides that, because i really dont know what's been going on.

alone is easy but social is more i figure you put up with the dirt under your fingernails in order to make the window shine, eh?

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