Mitch's comic strip reminded me of this thing I wanted to post.
Okay, this is from a week or so after Obama was elected, on the season finale of 'Real Time with Bill Maher.' I found it to be hilarious, so I thought I'd share.
"I read this in USA Today, a survey of Americans, how they felt about Obama's election, 67% proud, 59% excited, 30% pessimistic, 27% afraid. So we'd like to fuck with those people right now. The people who are afraid. A little something we call 'Obama World'.
In Obama World all guns will be confiscated and melted down to make a giant statue of Allah.
The National Anthem will be changed from the Star Spangled Banner to Gin and Juice.
The colors of the American flag will be changed from red, white and blue to black, black and leopard print.
The Department of Health and Human services will now be the Department of Earth, Wind and Fire.
And the Obama Cabinet will consist of Shaft, Dolemite, Foxy Brown, Mandingo, Cleopatra Jones, Superfly and Blacula.
And finally the government will listen in on your phone calls, search you without a warrant, arrest you without charges and hold you without a trial.
I know I have quite a few listed in my facebook profile, but here are a few others that I like.
"There are far worse crimes than burning books. One of them, is not reading them." - Joseph Brodsky
"I want you to remember that no son of a bitch ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country." - Gen. George S. Patton
"A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life." - Kinky Friedman
"I often think that a slightly exposed shoulder emerging from a long satin nightgown is far more sexy than two naked bodies in bed." - Bette Davis
"I think the fact that I look totally artificial, but I am totally real, has its own kind of magic in it." - Dolly Parton
"What you cannot enforce, do not command." - Sophocles
"Tobacco, coffee, alcohol, hashish, strychnine, are weak dilutions; the surest poison is time." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Having the right to do something does not mean that doing it is right." - William Safire
"In science it often happens that scientists say 'You know, that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. It happens every day, but I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion." - Carl Sagan
You know that you are truly in the presence of your best friend when you both completely enjoy laying in bed for hours having a lively discussion about all of the following;
- Skynet, and its awareness
- Time Travel
- The Grandfather Paradox
- The fourth dimension, and beyond
- Scientific studies involving single photons behaving in such a way
that suggests a fourth dimension exists
- The universe, possible alternate universes, and the mind numbing concept that is 'infinite'
- The evolution of humans through successful mutations
- Genetic engineering and its dangers, in-utero fetal testing, and
Punnett squares
- Genetic disease, disorder, and mutation, sickle cell anemia, down's syndrome, dwarfism, and cystic fibrosis
- Widespread interracial child-having, and the effects it could have on dominant and recessive traits, and diseases normally isolated within one ethnic community, that might be carried but not expressed
- Language and how its many forms have evolved, and are constantly changing and replacing what is standard
Etc, etc, etc.
I might not believe in soul mates, but I certainly believe in intellectual mates. I am so lucky, and thankful, that there is someone in my life who wants to sit around and talk about this shit with me.
::
2008 29 December :: 11.40pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Martina McBride // O Holy Night
I am so weird.
Crossposted from facebook.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, being the holiday season and all, there is a lot of religious music playing.
For some crazy reason, religious music, usually about Jesus or God especially, moves me emotionally more than any other kind of music.
The reason this is crazy, is because I am about 95% sure I don't even believe in God, and I am by no means religious in any way, at all. Not even a little.
I have no explanation for this. I've always been this way, and I don't know why. It seems so strange to me, but, I can't help it. Any thoughts?
So, I thought I'd share one from a few years back that is especially powerful to me. It always gets me teary eyed and gives me goosebumps.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2UMFTsV0Bs
Martina McBride singing O Holy Night (acapella)
I get choked up at -
" Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!"
Especially the fall on your knees part. It touches me in a way that I can't explain. I think it's because I want so much to feel that feeling. To love God so intensely that it brings me to my knees. But, I don't. Not even close :( I don't even BELIEVE in God, let alone love him so much I am overwhelmed by it.
