tubularchick88
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2004 8 August :: 2.28am
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Nirvana
Fuck All
Im pissed man! Dont you hate it when you are on a lil track right? And everything is going peachy and then all of a sudden your best train gets totally derailed and its a son of a bitch to clean up and it really hurts your tracks for some reason and its not supposed to because your made of steel right? But it still has some major scratches! I hardly doubt anyone will get this considering its a weird analogy but whatever, probably for the better.
2 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 8 August :: 12.09am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Outkast
Today
Woke up around 12.
It was nasty out.
Got to the beach around 3.
Tried to sleep, but ppl wouldn't let me.
Walked around and got food.
Sis smashed her cake in my face and Jon through me in the pool twice.
I through my cuz in the pool 6 times.
Got ditched.
Called Joe.
Talked to Joe.
Talked to my unlce about boys and their coodies.
Talked to Joe again.
Dropped off Davy while Jon did the sirens.
Dropped off Jon.
Came home.
Here I am. I'm home.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 6 August :: 11.57pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: something wild
Tonight
Ok so during the day I was soo lazy. I love my dad dude(s). I mean my parents were outta town for 2 days and as soon as my Dad comes in the door he doesn't say hi or i miss you he goes, "why the hell haven't u cut the grass? Its not raining". You gotta love him...yea right. I cleaned the house today and played drums...woo.
Well Ginny and Jon came and picked me up then we went to Joes to get him. Then off to Arron's house. Arron's house is soo neato. He lives in the barn. I loved it. It was dirty and kinda smelled but hey its soo neato. Jon, Joe and Arron busted out some music. It was neato. We were there untill 9pm.
After all that fun we went to Wendy's and Taco Bell. Then to parent free Ginny's. I love it when parents are outta town. Shit happened there and again Ginny and Jon got further than me tonight. Damn those whores...
O yea and I was 20 minutes late home and I got locked out so I had to brake in and u know what else is badass? My parents aren't even home...they are out partying it up dammit. I rushed home for nothing.
Interesting convo w/ the "special" Jared:::
missladydrummer: i thought u left
Autostrtgtr: i did
Autostrtgtr: now im back
missladydrummer: u missed me too much?
missladydrummer: i knew it.
Autostrtgtr: of course
missladydrummer: i missed u too
missladydrummer: amd cheese.
Autostrtgtr: sould have guessed
missladydrummer: i know.
missladydrummer: i love cheese.
missladydrummer: and bacon
missladydrummer: and then u after the bread
Autostrtgtr: you are insane
missladydrummer: maybe
missladydrummer: a lil
Autostrtgtr: didnt we go over this already?
missladydrummer: lol yea.
missladydrummer: i was hoping u didn't remember
missladydrummer: so maybe i am a lil bit.
Autostrtgtr: more than that
missladydrummer: would u butt rape justin timberlake if u could?
Autostrtgtr: no cause he would enjoy it
missladydrummer: but wouldn't u?
Autostrtgtr: no i wouldnt
missladydrummer: i think u would
missladydrummer: maybe f he paid u 3 million dollars.
Autostrtgtr: of course
missladydrummer: ew. ur nasty.
Autostrtgtr: you suck
missladydrummer: i do. i really do. i admit.
Autostrtgtr: cause your blonde
Autostrtgtr: you have to be good at it too
missladydrummer: blondes are hot
missladydrummer: i think i am.
Autostrtgtr: yup
Autostrtgtr: you? no......
Autostrtgtr: probly not
missladydrummer: wouldn't u like to know
Autostrtgtr: not more than other people
missladydrummer: so u admit?
missladydrummer: u wanna know how talented i am don't u buddy?
Autostrtgtr: dammit stop doing that!
missladydrummer: but u do right?
Autostrtgtr: Yes i do. I dream about it all the time. your soo hot michelle.
missladydrummer: haha your funny "special" jared.
Autostrtgtr: no i'm serious. i wanna know how u are.
missladydrummer: i'm sorry but we're never gonna happen. your too ugly.
Autostrtgtr: ur mean. I'll come over tomorrow.
Then he signed off.... he was serious dude. EW!
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 5 August :: 11.41pm
:: Mood: Cheery
:: Music: Senses Fall
Tonight
Wow. I spent 7 hours w/ Jared today. Badass. He didn't bug me one bit! Surprise surprise!
Jon, Casey, Joe, Ginny, David, this chick I dunno, this other guy i don't know, and Jared were over. Can u say a lil party? lol. We just listened to music, play drums, watch t.v, played video games, wrestled (funny as hell) and ahh...foosball (my team won on that). It was neato.
So I know what I am goin to do now w/ my situation. I see it clearly and better. What pisses me off is that Jared, Jeremy, and Casey were right the whole damn time. I hate it when they are right. I should listen to Casey and Jared more often, not Jer.
I love it when the parents aren't home. lol.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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tubularchick88
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2004 5 August :: 5.51pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Creepy music from The Secret Window
Change
Young ppl relationships change so quickly, why is this? Is it good or bad? Why can't we ever make up our minds and stick w/ that? Why is it that once your ok w/ a sitiation it does a 180 on you? Its frustrating and tiresome. Is this everyones issues currently or just mine? ....just throwing some questions in the air.
1 Thought |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 5 August :: 12.57am
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: LALALA!
Amber is a loser!!!
missladydrummer: my boobs bounce when u hit them from up top
sugerpiehunny87: yup
missladydrummer: does urs?
sugerpiehunny87: yea
missladydrummer: did u try it?
sugerpiehunny87: lol yea
missladydrummer: i knew it
missladydrummer: i can't believe u tryed it!
sugerpiehunny87: hehe
missladydrummer: omg!
missladydrummer: u loser!
missladydrummer: lmao.
sugerpiehunny87: lol yea
sugerpiehunny87: i am
sugerpiehunny87: i know
sugerpiehunny87: lol
missladydrummer: i gotta put it in my journal!
sugerpiehunny87: you do that
missladydrummer: o i will. i will.
sugerpiehunny87: :-)
missladydrummer: i did bitch.
+AndI+
2 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 4 August :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: Autum to Ashes
today
Went to the mall w/ Joe, Will, and Turax. Saw a bunch of ppl. I saw Alex, Rachel, Daniel, Allen (phil's boy), Scott Macone, Josh, Chris, Kelsey, and Amanda...O and my sister Casandra.....
Alex is a freak now (my mom's bosses son that went to school w/ amber). I was like Alex?? He dresses in all black and where crap from Hot Topic....That's where I saw him and his sister rachel...burrr..
I went there w/ nuttin and left w/ nuttin....fun!!!
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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tubularchick88
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2004 3 August :: 5.24pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: NOT NOFX
Hell
All of my relationships are going to hell dammit!
1 Thought |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 2 August :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: coheed
woo-wee
Sooo went out w/ Ginny, Jon, and Joe..
Jon was pissing me off the whole time.
I drove and he was like we're gonna die, we're gonna die. URGH!
He got action w/ Ginny. Cute.
Freak guy was there, so we left.
We didn't finish our movie.
Got home kinda early.
All good.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 1 August :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: a sad tune that they play at funerals.
aweful day.
I was at church and found out He killed him. He beated him w/ a bat to death and try to burn the body down chiquita. Cops found him. His mom never knew.
I can't believe it. I'm in shock. why would he do that?
I'm crying. I'm akeing. I hate this day. I want this day to go to hell.
+AndI+
2 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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yellowchicki
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2004 1 August :: 5.09pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Better off- Ashlee Simpson
Hmm
Its so weird....... you think you dont like someone that much,............ and than when you relize that nothing is going to happen.......... between you two........ because of an x-g/f.......... it kinda hits you, like damn.......... I actually liked him. I wanna know why she can move on, but he cant, he wants to, but he doesn't want to hurt her.......well gee........ thankz now Im hurt.......I dont know, maybe in a couple of days Im going to back to myself, all happy and everything...........but than I think, wait thats the 1st guy I have never gotton....... that I actually wanted............oh well...........guess its not ment to happen than.
6 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 31 July :: 11.37pm
:: Mood: surprised
:: Music: lalala
tonight
First off Amber decided not to come tonight and I am now happy that she didn't (no offense amber). I was w/ Jon and Ginny. We went to Beatniks. It was alright lil boring. Then Ginny got a call from Nate about a party and there will be drinking so ahh...we went over there. Dude it was all the way in San Carlos. I was WTF? We get to the guys house he's a friggin Wiggar. I was like what?!!! I wanted to beat him up soo bad. His friend Brandon knows Brandon Lamb which he told me stories about him. lol FUN! But Brandon was soo hot. I was like woo. He's 17 he's gonna be a senior at Fort Myers. He was hot.
We get to the house and there was no party. The guys just did that so we can go drinking at the lake. So we pack a bunch of beers and we go to the lake and it starts to rain. I'm like greeeaaat. Well Nate was being an ass so we took them home and went all the way back to CC to pick up Joe and go to the Camelot Park to chill.
When we get there it's 10 pm. Joe and I go off and Ginny and Jon hung out. Well Jon was smoking somthing. I wasn't too down w/ that. So i stayed away when he did that. Joe and I talked and then we made out a lil bit. Then we decided to go to the car and see what Ginny and Jon were doin. They were just talking for the longest time. Then me and joe left them b/c they didn't want us in the car. Hmm...wonder why...lol. Then we walked and talked. Then when it was about to we made out again. When we headed to the car Jon and Ginny get out of teh back seat of teh car w/ foggy windows. Me and joe were like OOOOOO!!! FOOOGGGY! SEEEXXY!!! It was soo funny. lol. So we all raced home and here I am..home.
I'm not sure whats gonna happen w/ Joe and I. I'm just gonna go w/ it u know? Well, Jon likes Ginny which is neato. He and I decided it might be best to remain "friends" w/ Ginny for a lil bit to see if he likes her enough to go out w/ her. Like hang out more. I hope she doesn't mind b/c she confused too.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 31 July :: 6.18pm
:: Mood: down
:: Music: blues
sigh
I let my heart be trampled repeatedly and i don't do anything about it.
I stare at the monsters who call my name at night have enjoyment taking advantage of me.
I try to make the best of it but it never works out.
They all send me out in the pourin rain, laughing and snikering at me.
I never know what I do wrong.
Once the sun sneaks through the rain and I can finally see everyone is gone.
All who was there left me to die in the cold.
I have no warmth. No one to hang on to.
I'm all alone in this chaos, our reality.
I try and try but its never enough.
Why do I still hang on and long for them?
They treat me no better than an ant would.
They would just walk on by and not notice me.
I just can't take any of it any longer.
If the monsters fight I'll fight back.
I'm tired of being an option.
I want to be a priority.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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tubularchick88
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2004 31 July :: 1.34pm
:: Mood: blank
...
Shitty night, enough said.
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 31 July :: 12.53am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: portland view
tonight at the concert
Tonight was the concert I was sooo waiting for. I brought Amber to come w/ me and we had a good plans to have fun w/ the ppl we knew that were there. But long ass story short none of the plan happened. W/ certain ppl leaving and being there and changing their minds (amber) it just didn't become reality. Everyone that I basically knew left me there but seriously I was cool w/ it. I found KK and Arron duluca and we moshed together and danced together to some ska bands and all. Arron is soo neato. I love that kid. If KK wasn't there and Arron i would of been dead. lol.
I saw Alex Ladico and OMG has he changed! He doesn't wear baggy clothes n e more or freaky shit. His hair is brushed and shorter. He looks ok. Ginny thought he was hot. lol. I miss the old one though. He looked younger really and more clean. lol. I don't like it! I like the bad ass Alex. lol. O well. He did change for the better....
+AndI+
2 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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tubularchick88
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2004 29 July :: 8.43pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Fuck it
Ummm mad
A word of advice to all men, dont go drinking to the point that you cant drive your damn date! It kinda pisses us off!
1 Thought |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 29 July :: 2.36pm
:: Mood: calm
_My day_
So ahhh....today, yea. fun???
Went to work as a secertary. Answered phones, did paper work. When out to lunch w/ my mom and boss...joy! Did more work.
Maybe when I get home I'll clean and practice drums. Change cloths though is what i will do first. Then watch 2 t.v shows i've ben waiting for. Yup, sounds like a boring plan, but I love it. :- )
Call me if you wish.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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tubularchick88
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2004 29 July :: 12.57am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Twisted
Im back and tonight
Im back in town, yay! if you wanna know about my night....go to www.woohu.com/~and its easier than me retyping it again. L8r
1 Thought |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 28 July :: 10.48pm
:: Mood: cheery
:: Music: Rush
Tonight
Well so I guess I need to update this lil journal here. So here I am. Updating it. Fun!!
So ahhh...today went a lil crazy w/ the planning to go to Beatniks and whose coming whose not. It was crazy fo.
So I got there before n e one else and then I saw Kelsey and Amanda and Amber coming to me in the back room. Woo. Then shortly after Jon and Joe showed up. Then Anne showed up w/ Chris and Matt.
I was a lil aggrevated with Anne. But w/e it doesn't matter now.
So I brought the ahh..Friends Trivia game. Yea, we soo did not play it. I knew that was gonna happen. I had to carry it around the whole night. It sucked.
Amber and I got ditched by Anne and that posse, so we hung out w/ Jon and Joe. It was cool though. I think it was best that they left.
Amber and Jon started to talk about business and what Jon is gonna do and shizz. Yea, I had no clue what they were talking about. lol. Joe and I just layed on the couch and were just lost w/ Jon and Amber's convo. At least I was.
Then we couldn't make up our minds like should ww stay should we go? I dunno we left came back and left. so pointless. lol. Amber and I got freaked out by this weird laugh when we were in the back ally. We were like ooo shit! Amber and I grabed hands dude. I swear it was right next to me. We scrambled to open the back door but Amber couldn't do it. I pushed her outta the way and opened it w/ my big muscle (yea right). Joe and Jon were like WTF? We started to laugh and was like out there and pointing and we just couldn't talk. Jon and Joe went out to check out what is was. Our heros!! Hahaha.
so ahh...yea...I'm gonna go. Lata.
+AndI+
4 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 26 July :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: screw coheed and cambria
screw him...i came to a conclusion
I hate joe. I hate him. He's soo ignorant.
Soo many ppl are being ignorant to me lately. i hate it!
I figured out why i haven't been happy. It really isn't all Alan's fault like i thought. Its b/c i don't feel appreciated or loved anymore. i feel neglected. For instance, I clean my house everyday (no lie) and my family doesn't appreciate it or recongnize it. They just mess it up again and my parents ask me to do everything and don't ask my sisters. My friends even make me feel unappreciated and neglected. I don't feel like we're close n e more. I feel like I'm an outsider. I want friends that don't make me feel like that. I just want more. I'm not content w/ what i have n e more. I'm just not happy.
+AndI+
4 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 26 July :: 12.19am
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: cold play
eh
So ahh..I want new friends. I'm gonna keep the old ones (don't worry). I just want to branch out more b/c yea...so is the water w/ me on this or am i alone? People are soo ignorant these days and it just sets me off,.
Yes amber I am irritated again by the fire. i want you home!!!
Ali if you can read this which I don't think you can, but I want you home too!
I don't like being alone.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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tubularchick88
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2004 24 July :: 11.02pm
:: Mood: Peachy
:: Music: Country!!!
Family/Reno
Few days ago I hung out w/ the group and that was ok, ya'll were there so there is no use in getting into it. I flew into San Fran like 2 days ago, hung around and had an amazing dinner. San Fran has changed alot! Then yesterday we drove to Reno which wasnt so bad because I was reading a damn good book, Lance Amstrog's 1st book which is actually making me think aboutdoing a triatholon! Shocker i kno! Today was our memorial/family reunion where we basically sat around, told some stories, ate alot, no fights, a lil bordem but thats excpected, i went on a harly, fun stuff! Tomarrow we are hanging around here and then we are going back to San Fran to catch a flight! By the way, if you guys think floridas hot, THINK AGAIN! It scorching out here! Miss ya xoxoxoxo byes (if spelling and shit is wrong its this weird computer thingy, ill explain later) Byes!!
1 Thought |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 22 July :: 7.37pm
:: Mood: awakened
:: Music: story of the year: anthem of our dieing day"
Today, in the rain.
It rained today for a while. It was a nice constent rain that had no thunder or lightening.
I opened the garage door and it sent a warm breeze to me and a welcome feeling, so I went out in the rain. I just sat there on my drive way just thinking as the rain came down...It was a nice feeling. I feel like I got washed or something.
Well I know what I should do now...to make me happy. I have to loose the one thing that I love most and then gain another thing that I know will make me very happy someday...
I go on unnoticed.
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 21 July :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: scared and hopeless
i'm scared and hopelss
yea so today was ok w/ anne and them. the fire and water..hehe. well ahhh...now i am home and its terrible. parents are fighting and screaming and shit and ahh....i have no clue what to do. so tonight sucks...a lot...
+AndI+
2 Thoughts |
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tubularchick88
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2004 21 July :: 2.38pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Bright Eyes
Last Night
Hello all !!! Last night included Ali, Michelle, Ginny, Nick (Ginny's cousin), and I. We all went out to this uber fun place that Michelle and Ginny had previouly found. The "dark room" is the most kickass place I've ever been, I love it there! I'm going to like recreate it in my room! It started out w/ Michelle, Ali, I, and some Senior. The Senior ended up leaving and ginny came in. LoL Michelle and I, and I'm sure Ali was hungry so we convinced them(Michelle and Ginny) to go get us food (that was a mistake!!!) Anyway Nick came him and we talked w/ him for a while, he seemed to be a pretty neato guy. :-) Anyway they returned w/ our food and we were "ready" to go so we went down and ate.
There was damn tomatos on my burger so that alone w/ many other items that were placed on Ali's and my bugers were splattered around us lol! Ginny had uber problems w/ that and walked all the way around the other side of the car to get her drink! lmao! Not to mention I was left w/out ice after attempting to throw it all down Ali's shirt, it was just too tempting! At this point Michelle and Nick read my lil...."story" for the first time which leads to a conversation about clits lol. Nontheless, it was getting late because our parents were being weird so we dropped off Ali and when I went in to use the restroom they drove around the block and didn't come back to pick me up for like 2 minutes, lol I just stood there, I don't know what they were doing! Anyways Michelle was the next to be dropped off and Ginny was probably happy because Michelle was the ringleader of yelling at her about how slow she was going and changing lanes, which obviously got me started! LoL we love you Ginny! I was then dropped off and Ginny spent the night at her grandma's house w/ Nick. That was just about it......xoxoxo love ya byes mwah!
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 21 July :: 11.47am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: my own tune
I'll carry my own tune on this one...
I feel like I can tell you anything.
So I took a risk to get closer, now I have made your heart sting.
Oh, I'm so sure that you'll be leaving in the end.
I've burned you so much more than the sun.
Oh, look now, I'm here without hope again.
After today I'm not sure my secret is safe.
I didn't want to conceal my lie.
Oh, I'm sure your feelings have changed.
You'll move on and I'll be old news.
It's a price that I will pay and it's going to bring me down.
I dug a hole and I dug it well.
It's so deep you can't see the light.
I deserve to be in there and be excluded from your life.
Oh, look now, I'm here without hope again.
After today I'm not sure my secret is safe.
I didn't want to conceal my lie.
We had a special attraction.
so I thought I could tell and you could understand.
But now after I told its done so much action.
I can't bare it any longer.
I've made cuts and I let them bleed.
I'm not sure if they'll be scars.
Oh, look now, I'm here without hope again.
After today I'm not sure my secret is safe.
I didn't want to conceal my lie.
Just let me be your friend again.
I wish I could take away my decesion from the past.
I'll do anything just tell me where to begin.
I love you and I care for you.
I just didn't want to conceal my lie.
+AndI+
1 Thought |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 20 July :: 10.15pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Linkin Park: Breaking the Habit
Tonight
So ahhh..tonight Amber, Ali, Ginny, and Nick, and I (of course me!) went to the Neato place that Ginny and I found thanks to map quest. Yea we all had a blast.
I wont mention where this place is or what it is. Its just neato...
Well we got hungry so Ginny and I went to Juicy Lucy's to get foos for everyone b/c we can eat at this Neato place. Well Ginny spilt a drink. Woo! Then the guy messed up our order like millions of times, so I ahh..got pissed. I mean I'm on my period so this isn't goin down w/ me at all. We were there for like 30 minutes trying to get our damn food.
Well we get back to the neato place and ahh...eat. We had like 2 napkins for all 5 of us..great! It was funny though. Amber was trying to throw ice in ali's shirt. hahaha...nick almost made it in!
Then after a while we left the Neato place. then we took Ali home. That was just fun and fast! LOL. There is such a thing as slow and too slow if u ask me. But its all good Ginny. Your just use to ur mom yelling at u w/ ur speed, but don't worry we wont yell at u unless ur goin too slow like tonight. U just have to break that habit but be careful b/c u have to make u sure u don't speed w/ ur mama. You know?
Ok well I'm gonna go now. Amber is leaving day after tomorrow! How sad!?
I had a blast tonight...
+AndI+
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 19 July :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: 311: one of those songs..lol
Havin a laugh
My annual Freaking out Casey:
missladydrummer: hey you
missladydrummer: :-*
Atomic1988: heyy
missladydrummer: how u doin big boy/
Atomic1988: =\ ok....
missladydrummer: thats nice....real nice.
missladydrummer: what are u wearing?
Atomic1988: u been smokin shit and not callin me over?
Atomic1988: lol
missladydrummer: i can bring it over and a lil more baby
Atomic1988: nice ok bring it
missladydrummer: and i'll ah bring a lil more less something over too if u get my drift sexy
Atomic1988: ok cmon
missladydrummer: hows work? working those sexy arms?
missladydrummer: u havent been callin me..i wann ahear ur voice.
Atomic1988: ok now its just getting fucking weird hearing u talk like this stop
missladydrummer: but i don't wanna.
missladydrummer: i want you
Atomic1988: then come over and prove it
missladydrummer: do u want to know what i am wearing?
missladydrummer: or not wearing?
missladydrummer: Oh My!
missladydrummer: casey darling?
Atomic1988: ?
missladydrummer: do u like grapes?
Atomic1988: yah sure
missladydrummer: they are sex fruit
missladydrummer: i'll feed ur sexy mouth some.
missladydrummer: ur can grab onto it real rough and pull hard
missladydrummer: sexy..
missladydrummer: baby?
missladydrummer: muffin?
Atomic1988: dude quit
missladydrummer: u don't want me?
Atomic1988 signed off at 11:31:13 PM.
+AndI+
2 Thoughts |
WhAt Ya ThInK???
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andi
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2004 19 July :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: Confused damn it
:: Music: dashboard Confessional
my sitaution (sp)
ok so I'm screwed. I let myself get screwed over. I know I should of resisted but I couldn't. I can't. I think its b/c I feel vonerable and just want to get close w/ someone...a guy to be exact b/c the guy that I have isn't exactly there for my needs.
I'm not really sure if my feelings are really true or its b/c i'm vonderable. I want to know so bad if my feelings are true.
If they are true then i have some work to do. If they are not then i am screwed a lil more i think.
I'm confused and i want to talk about it to a person, but i shouldn't. so i am not.
I'm torn in 2 ways. I don't want to be. i want to find out my answer. but there is no way i will know until like maybe 2 weeks after school starts.
I know i am vunerable like if a hot guy wanted to make out w/ me I am afraid I would do it. I shouldn't but I would.
U know what I would like right now? i want to be in a guy's arms. It can just be a friend. Just the feelin of bein held and loved even if its just in a friend way, its a great feeling. I miss that feeling of bein held and all of the jazz that comes w/ it. I haven't had that in soo long and it sucks....a lot.
+AndI+
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tubularchick88
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2004 17 July :: 4.22pm
:: Mood: tired
The past 24 hours...
Last night fuckin rocked, everbody was there......no one pissed me off....everyone looked good and it just all feel into place which is rare(except for the fact i got open mic night and jazz night messed up but it turned out ok)! Well I drank too much cafieen (sp?) and was up till at least 4 and kept Ali up w/ me lol! Sorry babe im a bitch! Anway we get up at 7 oclock to get ready go around town for shiz and get to Auto Zone and it raining and the ppl in my car were like "we should still do it because the rain will stop in a really short period of time (suprise suprise its florida!) and when the rain dyes everyones cars will have weird looking water spots and the rain is going to make it muddy!(and it will make things cooler for us)" ....NOT TO MENTION i came back and talked to ppl that were like "omg i needed my car washed so bad" and all i could do was cringe. So nonethless the band that we were doing it for didnt want to do it in the rain, because it didnt make since and that we were just wasting our time......so we called it off or rather "postponed" it.
Anyway....chatting w/ an unknown guy that is a cousin of a friend, im just asking for trouble all over again arent i? He is very.....lol black. Talks it and definatly seems to act it so yea.....and he is my age and i dont like that, i like a lil older preferably.....gimmie advice before i start gettin into this guy!
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