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2008 24 January :: 10.29 pm
zombies
Zombie Attack Plan
1) At first site or word of an undead threat go to the basement and gather your zombie attack pack.*
2) Lock doors of house and barricade windows if the undead are not within site. If zombies are within site, move to the roof immediately and quietly.
3) Lay flat on the roof covered in a blanket. The zombies can’t distinguish the blanket from the roof, due to their stupidity. If you do not cover yourself, they will mob your house, aware of your location.
4) Once the zombie mob has moved to a new location (confirmed by the absence of moaning and shrieking), quickly and quietly zombie proof the vehicle of choice. If a cargo/ passenger vehicle and a truck are available, choose both. Include a bike rack on top and grids over window. It should have a large, covered cargo space, high clearance and be in good mechanical shape. An automatic is preferable to a stick, as not all members of your party will be able to use a stick. Siphon gas out of all vehicles in a visible range. Store the gas in a sealable container. Load your vehicle with food supplies, weaponry, a CB radio and tools (including your zombie attack pack). Leave pets and large valuables at home, making individual provision for them.
5) Ask other CB operators what routes are clear. After deciding on the most secure root, advance with haste to a country location with a large body of water. City ports will be crawling with undead. Any of the great lakes will do, or a ocean. Mine is Lake Michigan.
6) After arriving at your secure country area, load your supplies directly onto the largest boat available. While part of your party is unloading, other will stand ready for defense. Board the boat and sail away from shore. It is unknown what zombie aptitude is in water.
7) Good luck!
This has been Baylee's seven steps to surviving a zombie attack. If you take the precaution of preparing a zombie attack pack then these seven steps should ensure your survival in case of a outbreak.
*ATTACK PACK CONTENTS
1) Weapons
a. Long range
i. Gas bombs
ii. Sniper riffles
iii. Cross Bows^
iv. Grenades
v. Flame throwers
vi. Rocket launchers
b. Close Range
i. Baseball Bats^
ii. Golf Clubs^
iii. Shovels^
iv. Shotguns
v. Swords^
vi. Machetes^
2) Navigation
a. Compass
b. Road Maps
c. Nautical Maps
3) Communication
a. CB Radio
b. 2 way radios
c. Crank powered AM/FM radio
4) Cloths Tight fitting and durable
a. sneakers and socks
b. Long-sleeved leather jackets
c. Ski masks or bike helmets
d. Warm thick pants
5) Food
a. Canned meat
b. Potatoes
c. Vegetables
d. Fruits
e. Vegetable / fruit seeds
f. Chocolate*
6) Tools
a. Skeleton Key set
b. Bikes
c. Spare tire and iron/air pump
d. Penicillin, syringe and needle
e. Towel *
f. Harmonica *
* Optional
^ means this weapon is preferable
1 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me out |
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2007 5 November :: 5.54 am
:: Music: nipples
zzzzzzzzzombies
So, as those reading this journal are people i consider friends, i pose this question. Do you have an emergency plan for zombie epidemics?
I do.
3 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me outomgyrunakedjessa? |
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2007 5 November :: 5.54 am
:: Music: nipples
zzzzzzzzzombies
So, as those reading this journal are people i consider friends, i pose this question. Do you have an emergency plan for zombie epidemics?
I do.
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2007 30 June :: 10.45 pm
" Sigh, I'm just kinda like, bloated'
Classes start Monday. BOoo. I like summer. No fucking obligations other than to yourself, your friends and your job. Is that a glimpse of the mature future?
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2007 26 January :: 12.47 pm
:: Music: droning computer fans
Hey yall. I'm commin' home to cedar on Saturday. From 3-8Pm i'll be at the round up cheerin' on my man in his crazy hobby: arm wrestling. I may have found someone even weirder than me. Come sniff him out if you dare.
love,
baylee
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2007 17 January :: 3.06 pm
:: Music: keys
my life is content. i love pizza hut and my hot delivery boy-friend. The only thing that haunts me is the memory of a friends I once cherished, but now have become distant with. This means you james.
Fuck woohu. This is stoopid.
2 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me outomgyrunakedjessa? |
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2006 11 December :: 7.57 pm
:: Music: Computers humming and me longing for a sound card
Wow... it's been a while. I'm going to try hard to make this sincere. That seams to be my problem with posts. I don't want to commit in writing my real feelings. I can converse with a friend, admitting soulful truths, but this is too permanent. And everyone can see. I know, mark it as "password" if I want privacy. But I want to be so honest that my feelings shouldn't exists unless I am proud of them, willing to defend them and share. I guess that means admitting I am fallible.
New note. I think I got raped at a gay club. How is this possible? It was actually more of a sexual assault, because before a rape could occur, "gay luda", (named that because he looks like Ludicrous and is defiantly gay), saved me. Why would a straight guy go to a gay club? I go to men's gay clubs to dance and not to look for sexual partners, just to have fun.
New note.
Interested in stopping AIDs? There is an AIDs benefit this Wed. at Sprial in Lansing, old town (this time we will not be too stoned to find it). It's a drag show with and ensemble cast. It will be comprised of amateurs and pros (and some pro-amatur) from Grand Rapids, Detriot and Lansing. It should be good. And all the profits will go to an AIDs foundation. Give me a jingle for directions. Cover is $8 if you're under 21 and $5 if you're 21 or older.
2 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me outomgyrunakedjessa? |
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2006 16 March :: 10.16 pm
humm... i think i prefer shallow post to well thought out and articulate ones. Reality is much too revealing.
1 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me out |
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2006 22 February :: 10.11 pm
Life's been good to me so far.
what about u?
2 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me outomgyrunakedjessa? |
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2006 12 January :: 10.52 pm
i miss my critters. I miss my k-t. I love it down here but i love it up there too. dang. how is everyone else's personal torment and struggle?
1 whew, earnin' all those nickels tuckered me out |
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2005 21 November :: 11.19 am
everything is arbitrary.
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2005 8 November :: 11.04 am
http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=24777096
i hope this isn't a scam
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2005 8 November :: 11.03 am
Get a free I pod. Hopefully this isn't a scam folks.
http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=24777096
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