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:: 2006 12 February :: 7.27 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Shuffle on my iPod

It's school tomorrow! Exciting. Anyway, this weekend was alright, I guess. Went to the mall with Melanie on Friday which was sooo fun, lol we tried on dresses and ate a lot of food =D. Saturday I did absolutely nothing except watch t.v and stay in my pj's (is that bad?) and today I actually got dressed. Wow, there's been so much drama lately. At least I know that my friends are there for me, you know?

Thursday was actually pretty enjoyable. We had our team party, which consists of playing the hand game with my table, watching zach draw pictures of melanie and me, scaring David Cantor, eating the most gigantic cookie that I have ever eaten, chilling with Chris, and listining to Will be extreeeeamly hyper.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited about Tuesday because it's Valentines Day. Who doesn't love Valentines Day?

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:: 2006 8 February :: 4.59 pm
:: Mood: dissapointed
:: Music: Mairead- The Von Bondies (their only good song)

I'm pretty dissapointed in myself. I was reading Amy N's xanga and I realize that I'm probably one of the people that she bitches about. I think I come across as an asshole, to a lot of people. To the popular people that I constantly trash talk, to the sevvies that I act like I'm better than, to the asian kids who seem to be so immensly perfect. I know it's bad and that I shouldn't be like that. It sucks sometimes, not having a whole posse of friends and people knowing who you are, but only because who you've gone out with. I mean, who am I when people refer to me? I'm the girl who goes out with Chris and is best friends with Will. I'm the white girl that talks quickly and is really sarcastic.

I know that I act stupid around boys, and that's just really lame. But I mean, I don't want them to think I'm smarter than them or, well, better than them. To be honest, there are a lot of qualities that I don't like about myself, and I'm a different person when I'm alone. There are flaws. What can I do? I'm not strong enough to change.

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:: 2006 3 February :: 5.31 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: all of my alternative genre songs on ipod =)

Ah...I want to save an emo boy. Just go up to him and be like.."It's ok, because life is actually pretty cool sometimes!" and then we'll make out or something like that.

Today was alright, actually. Chris is, so awesome.

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:: 2006 30 January :: 12.41 pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: A Million Reasons- Stellastarr*

Today has been pretty good so far. I went to Starbucks with my sister and saw her english teacher there. Then when we got home we got a package from USC...My sister got into South Carolina University! I am so, so, so, so proud of her!! And now, I'm working on my iPod. I should name it. AND I found my Stellastarr* CD!

A very good day indeed.

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:: 2006 29 January :: 6.44 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Caught By The River- Doves


Anyway, here's a list of the hottest of the hotties in the world whom i love:
Daniel Vosovic from Project Runway
Corey from MTV's The 70's House
Jack White from The White Stripes
the lead singer from Fall Out Boy
Joel Watts
Gerald Way from My Chemical Romance
and, of course, my boyfriend.

But Daniel Vosovic over anyone else.

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:: 2006 27 January :: 9.21 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: The OC: Mix 1

A Survay
I took this survay march of last year. A lot of the Answers have changed since then, so im re-taking it.

1. First best friend: Kindergarden, Lauren Worly
2. First kiss: Robert in 7th grade
3. First screen name: was...Monkeymoonface. im so cool.
4. First pet: a hamster named Rocky
5. First car: not sure yet

1. Last real kiss: Thursday after school =)
2. Last good cry: hahah, last night
3. Last beverage drank: water
4. Last food consumed: cereal
5. Last phone call: yesterday from will

1. Who is your best friend: will
2. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: yes, Chris

1. Where are your favorite places to shop: American Eagle, Pacun, V.S
2. Favorite item of clothing: my outfit i have on now: blue long-sleeved polo and dark-washed jeans

1. Do you do drugs: nope
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: garnier frutice (sp??)
3. What are you most scared of: i dont know
4. What would you change about yourself: stop being negitive and stop secluding myself.

1. Colors: purple & green
2: TV show: Project Runway
3. Subject in school: Orchestra
4. Animals: bunny
5. Sports: baseball
6. Movies: Forrest Gump

1. Lied to your best friend: yes
2. Smoked: nope
3. Made yourself throw-up: no
4. Skinny dipped: no
5. Been in love: yes

1. Clothes: jeans and polo shirt
2. Music: The Way We Get By- Spoon
3. Make-up: none

1. Talked to on the phone: Will
2. Hugged: my sister
3. IMed: Cassie
4. Last person who slept at your house: uhhm..i forget
5. Last persons house you slept at: Christina C...haha, in December of '05

1. In the morning I am: tired and cold
2. Love is: amazing
3. I always think about: myself

1. 7 years ago: I was in first grade and loved Mr. Nocco
2. 5 years ago: i was in 4th grade, one of the best classes of my life.
3. 3 years ago: I was in sixth grade and started to...grow up, lol
4. 1 hour ago: I was in the excat same spot as now
5. Tomorrow: I will sleep in, hang out with will, and babysit

10 things that scare me
1. The Ring
2. when i'm taking a shower and my sister comes into the bathroom to fix her hair or something and doesnt tell me
3. scary dreams
4. being lost
5. not knowing what's going to happen next
6. someone kidnapping me
7. being alone
8. that guy at the library...Christina Will Jinri you know who.
9. getting cancer
10. that someday ill get fat hahah

9 random facts about me
1. i hate pasta
2. i wish i didn't overthink everything
3. i love subtitles
4. i love reading
5. i impulse buy too much
6. i cant dance
7. i wish i knew how to sew or knit
8. i love to write
9. I bite the inside of my lips

8 things I love
1. writing
2. my family and friends
3. my iPod
4. laughing so hard i cant breathe (Will)
5. My cat
6. love stories and movies
7. gum
8. Democrats

7 things I hate
1. Bush
2. Republicans
3. when my dad makes me mad
4. when i wake up and my hairtie from my wrist makes this huge indentation
5. bad teeth
6. How I know i should eat more healthy, but I don't
7. feeling like i don't fit in

6 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. hands
2. laugh
3. eyes
4. hair
5. personality
6. sence of humor

5 things I plan to do before I die
1. get married and have kids
2. speak fluent french
3. go to france
4. write something that gets published, possibly a best seller?
5. get laid! lol

4 things I want to do right now
1. see Chris
2. see Will
3. see Lilly
4. crack my knuckles...exept i just did so now i dont want to anymore

3 things that annoy me
1. people say picher instead of picture
2. when i know i should practice the violin more and then i don't
3. when the inside of my mouth iches (like now)

2 things I can do
1. help people with romantic issues
2. not get nervous infront of big crowds

1 thing I cant do
1. eat with chopsticks

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:: 2006 25 January :: 5.14 pm
:: Mood: Happy/redculously giddy
:: Music: Lebanese Blonde- Theivery Corporation

Things are pretty good.
Remember number one on yesterday's list? Well, it happened. Yes, the very good thing happened. I am Chris's girlfriend. lol, I'm so happy. I'm so happy!

What else to say...oh yeah, I'm Chris's girlfriend! yaay =)

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:: 2006 24 January :: 5.40 pm
:: Mood: Optomistic/Anxious
:: Music: So Says I- The Shins

1) I think something good is about to happen; no, scratch that. I know that something good is about to happen, and it will happen between now until tomorrow night. Excitement!

2) What will I wear tomorrow?

3) Today was pretty cool, I'll have to admit.

4) I am going to start being a good student again.

5) Cecilia is the coolest song evaa.

Well, thats it. It's been fun.

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:: 2006 21 January :: 10.26 pm
:: Mood: Dream-y
:: Music: Rain City- Turin Brakes

Bands, Facials, and Regrets
I wish I was in a band. Well, I sort of am. Hah. Will's on bass, Isa's on guitar, and I'm lead singer. Too bad we've never ever played together, Isa can't play the guitar, and we haven't decided on a name. I want our name to be Asphalt. Wouldn't that be a cool name? I want to be like the group Enon. Only three people: 2 guys, one girl. I get along better with guys than I do girls. Why the heck is that?

If I was in a band, we would play really cool music, that's simple Lol. Music like Turin Breaks, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, South, The Shins, or Enon.

Tomorrow I'm getting a facial! Which is very, very exciting. I've never had a manicure, massge, or anything like that, so this would be my first pamering kind of thing. I hope the facialist can get my skin cleared up.

Anyway, sometimes I miss him. Zach. Sometimes I miss him at really weird times, like listining to certain songs or thinking about last year's play. Most of the time, my missing him is predicted, like after reading a Cyanide & Happiness comic, checking his xanga, checking his myspace, checking his photobucket, checking to see if he's online. I don't check as much as I used to, but I did tonight. And sometimes I can't help but wonder if I am such a bad person that he couldn't stand to be with me any longer. Maybe I'm too young, too needy, too quiet, too dorkey, I don't know. I don't know.

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:: 2006 19 January :: 5.21 pm
:: Mood: Better
:: Music: Mine's Not a High Horse- The Shins

Just Stuff
Today went a lot better than I thought it would, considering the fact I have all core classes today besides E.R period. I got an A on my oral presentation in English class and a B on the sentance structure test, which I was so overjoyed about that I almost high-fived Melanie's hand off.

You know, things haven't been so great lately, but it's okay, because they're getting better. I think I need to learn how to become more positive and less judgemental. Like, who cares if Will and I are the lowest group in our entire class of table tennis? What does it matter? And what do I care if the popular girls are retarted and senseless? Whatever.

Anyway, new I-con of Sylvia Plath. God, she is the most amazing writer ever, and I love her work. She is (was) amazing.

I'm pretty excited to go to the mall with my sister this weekend. Can't wait to buy things! Hooray for retail therepy!

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:: 2006 15 January :: 3.48 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: How Good it can Be- The 88

I finished Angela's Ashes. I can't even be in the same room with my dad without completely freaking out and getting mad and annoyed.

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:: 2006 13 January :: 8.24 pm
:: Mood: sad/happy. Get it?
:: Music: Those to Come- The Shins

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

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:: 2006 7 January :: 1.58 pm
:: Mood: Contemplative
:: Music: You Know What They do to Guys Like us in Prison- My Chemical Romance

Maybe I should stop spending all of my money on music. Whatever. Today has been cool so far, I got Starbucks, my blood taken (which was only cool because the technician was actually good), and a book for english class and a book that finally came in for Christmas, called "The Reindeer People".
Yesterday was good also. I went to the library and checked out Angela's Ashes and Valley of the Dolls. Which Reminds me. It much be that time of the month again, becayse I finished "The Bell Jar" so my list is offifically shorter!

List of Books I Want to Read

1) Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
2) The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon
3) Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
4) Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
5) A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
6) The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
7) Forrest Gump by Winston Groom

So, I think I have a band. I think it's name is Asphalt. Will is the bassist, Isa is the guitarist, and I am the vocalist. Hah! We don't even have a drummer, because no one we know drums besides Gary Lang and Gary is in another band. Maybe I should learn how to play the triangle. I have to take this percussion situation into my own hands!

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:: 2006 2 January :: 1.40 pm
:: Mood: hopeful/nervous
:: Music: Young Pilgrims- The Shins

Today I finished my homework before the last minute (hooray!!) so Will and I shall go to Barnes & Noble and chill there. Exchange gifts. I hope Will likes my gifts, I'm so excited to see him!

Well, maybe I should start to speak in French for you. Here we go:

"Pardon, Anaïs. Je voudrais acheter le tee-shirt verte. C'est combien?"
"Salut, Méthaïde! Le tee-shirt quatorze francs."
"J'aime surtout la France. Et toi?"
"J'adore la France!"
"Merci. A bientôt!"
"Bien sûr!"

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:: 2005 31 December :: 5.04 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Gone for Good- The Shins

This Year
I'm copying Amy's xanga and saying about a sentace or two about the year 2005.

January- Hard month for school. Just trying to get my act together and please my parents.

February- Short was Christina's birthday and Mr. Rodgers died.

March- A lot of play rehersals, I was with Robert. A month of Robert. This was the month where I got my first kiss from him and realized that the play would be awesome.

April- The play! I learned so much about myself and made so many new friends.

May- Zach asked me out, and enough said

June- School ended...the Fab Four was together and thriving. I just remember being really nervous if Zach and I would stay together.

July- Camp! Camp was bad, but I became much closer to Sabra, Cassie, and Lilly. I felt as if I had grown a lot during July, getting tired of camp and such. I beleive I also grew an inch.

August- A very slow month, as usual. Zach and I became so close, and it was that month where I knew that I was in love.

September- School started, and I just loved being the head of the school. I became very distant from Christina and Joel, but much closer to Melanie and Chris. Of course, I was always close to will this whole year.

October- Homecoming. It was the most nerve-wracking and wonderful night of my life. And then Zach broke up with me. My heart was broken...and that was the worst thing almost that had ever happened to me. I realized that my friends are always there for me.

November- A lot, lot, lot of greiving and being depressed. Of crying every time I thought about Zach and I missed him. My birthdayw was also Joanna's, so Will and I went to her party, which was fun. I met this guy there who got my phone number but never called me. We also had VMEA. The busride back was fantastic but also horrible. Will is a good best friend.

December- Finally, finally, finally, I became less sad and more accepting. It was a tough month, because Will's grandpa died and I haven't seen him for about 2 weeks.

So much has happened this year. It was the year of my first kiss, my first serious boyfriend, falling in love, being dumped, turning 14, and so much other stuff I can't even name. It was a year where I grew up a lot and learned so much about myself, how strong (and weak) i can be. An interesting year.

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