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poisonedheart

:: 2012 27 February :: 3.10am


Love is real
It is not just in novels or the movies
It is fact
And it is standing here right in front of you
So if you open your eyes
Oh what a sweet discovery
There is hope, and there is joy, and there is acceptance
So now let all of the light that collects on your plants
Keep you warm, make you smile
And I will be there with this pen in my hand
To record all the while
You'll be laughing so loud
That the house would shake with sound
And everything will be as new as the day it was found
Love is real
It is not just in long distance commercials
Or something that you thought you felt back in high school
So I will turn black and white
Become that horoscope you're reading
It predicts something good is on its way
Oh, and then I will send you the world green and blue
In a box through the mail
You can open it up, hold it right in your hand
And be glad that it's there
And be glad that you're there
Now, you can feel all the knots in your stomach start to untie
And suddenly it's not so hard to say you're all right
Love is real
It is not just in poetry and stories
It is truth, and it will follow you
Everywhere you go from now on
So if you'd just cast off your doubt
Then your lips would answer for you
Oh my darling, when you smile, it is like a song
And I can hear it now
And I can hear it now
And I can hear it now
Yes, I can, I can, I can
I can hear it now
I can hear it now
Yeah, I can, I can, I can
I can hear it now
I can hear it now
I can hear it now
Yeah, I can, I can, I can
I can hear it now
I can hear it now

Saying Goodbye


aaron

:: 2012 20 February :: 2.28pm

Is it like this in everyone's head? Not writing this sentence might have been the first step in differntiating between what's in here and everything- everyone- else out there.

Am I an angry person?

Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 9 November :: 10.51am

Sucks when you know you dreamt, and you rack your brain trying to remember what it was about; you don't even know bits and pieces... Then all of the sudden, latter on in the day, you remember every single bit of the dream... And it was nothing you ever wanted to remember.

Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 13 July :: 11.47am

Am I really a toxic person in your eyes because I told you embarrising and regretable actions that I am now trying to reconcile?
Am I really not worth your friendship because I've made mistakes in my life and I recognize them?
Am I really worth being dropped in probably one of the most emotionally unstable, intimidating, and uncompromising periods of my life?

Thank you... for not being there when I need you the most.

1 Tear | Saying Goodbye


poisonedheart

:: 2011 7 July :: 2.37am

Just 40 days left in Spokane, I'm super excited, and super nervous.

1 Tear | Saying Goodbye


poisonedheart

:: 2011 26 June :: 1.07am

Oh no I'm all drunk.

And Jen is gone for the rest of summer, I probably won't see her again until next summer.

This makes me quite sad =(

Saying Goodbye


poisonedheart

:: 2011 4 June :: 11.26pm

73 days, then iowa

4 Tears | Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 13 May :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: I Will Follow by Chris Tomlin

This is my anthem
I'm making strides to You. I'm doing the best I can to be the best that You want me to be. I'm not letting my choices decide where I go in life... that's the desires of my heart and Your job, now.
Proverbs 16:3 "Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved." Finally I see that ALL my plans may not be Yours, but when I seek you; when I commit everything I do... when I trust in you alone, it will be through You that my plans become achieved.
You are awesome and powerful... beautiful and just.
It's in your name I praise, Jesus. Amen.

Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 11 May :: 12.13pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Anna Molly (Acoustic) by Incubus

It's been a few days:
I'll be better, I know I will. I just need to focus on God and on myself. I don't feel great about my decision, but I know that it was the best decision I have ever made in a long time.
Just need lots of prayer.

Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 5 May :: 11.33pm

Are my desires of my heart paving my future, or are my choices?

4 Tears | Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 20 April :: 11.44pm

Radical by David Platt
"We are not saved from our sins because Jesus was falsely tried by Jewish and Roman officials and sentenced by Pilate to die. Neither are we saved because Roman persecutors thrust nails into the hands and feet of Christ... All God's holy wrath and hatred toward sin and sinners, stored up since the beginning of the world, was poured out on Jesus... This is the gospel."

I paraphrased his words, and sorta ran them together a little bit... but damn it he's right: We are not saved from our sins because of what Jesus did on the cross, we are saved because of what he took on our behalf. God's anger and wrath and just judgment was poured onto Jesus in that moment, and that's what saved us, because Jesus Became sin; moreover, that is why God turned his back from Jesus. David Platt can say it better than I.

"Picture Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. As he kneels before his Father, drops of sweat and blood fall together from his head. Why is he in such agony and pain? The answer is not because he is afraid of the crucifixion. He is not trembling because of what the Roman soldiers are about to do to him.
"Since that day, countless men and women in the history of Christianity have died for their faith. Some of them were not just hung on a cross; they were burned there. Many of them went to their crosses singing.
"One Christian in India, while being skinned alive, looked at his persecutors and said, 'I thank you for this. Tear off my old garment, for I will soon put on Christ's garment of righteousness.'
"As he prepared to head to his execution, Christopher Love wrote a note to his wife, saying, 'Today they will sever me from my physical head, but they cannot sever me from my spiritual head, Christ.' As he walked to his death, his wife applauded while he sang of glory.
"Did these men and women in Christian history have more courage than Christ himself? why was he trembling in that garden, weeping and full of anguish? We can rest assured that he was not a coward... Instead he was a savior about to endure divine wrath.
"Listen to his words: 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.' The 'cup' is not a reference to a wooden cross; it is a reference to divine judgment. It is the cup of God's wrath. This is what Jesus is recoiling from in the garden...
"What happened at the cross was not primarily about nails being thrust into Jesus' hands and feet but about the wrath due your sin and my sin being thrust upon his soul. In that holy moment, all the righteous wrath and justice of God due us came rushing down like a torrent on Christ himself. Some say, 'God looked down and could not bear to see the suffering that the soldiers were inflicting on Jesus, so he turned away.' But this is not true. God turned away because he could not beat to see your sin and my sin on his Son."

Wow... Changes everything doesn't it?

This Easter, really think about what it means to be forgiven... and what it really means to be saved from sin and death.
This Easter, question your salvation in the sense to test it, tried and true.
This Easter..... really know what it means to be a Christian, take up your cross, and do something.

Saying Goodbye


poisonedheart

:: 2011 17 March :: 12.02pm

I got accepted to Iowa State University's College of Design, I am so unbelievably stoked right now.

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


aaron

:: 2011 17 February :: 4.28pm

What does it mean to be an individual?

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


aaron

:: 2011 12 January :: 6.54pm

It's time for an adventure.

2 Tears | Saying Goodbye


shroudofrain

:: 2011 6 January :: 12.52am

I've made a lot of changes: in belief, mindset, mentality, and passion.

The point of faith is not the war, but about the hearts, minds, and lives of the people around you; to help others any way you can -and not because you should, but because you want to.

Love is what holds everything together. God has sent His son, Jesus, to die for our sins not to win a battle, but to show His love for us.

The resurrection is just as much for us as the death was.

My passion should not be to rally troops, to fight a war, or to defeat the enemy... that's God's job, and he already has that covered. My passion should be to help the community around me, to show just how much God loves each and every one of us, and to show everyone that there is value in them. You can throw, step on, spit on, smash, and run over a gold brick, but at the end of the day the gold brick is still worth $1500 an ounce (give or take based on the price that day).

Reading past entries... I don't know who reads this any more; I don't even know if I'm talking to anyone but myself, but I just want to say for whoever this may concern: I am sorry for how I have treated all of you through my belligerent faith of Spiritual Warfare. It's not a right thing to be offensive for God, and I realize that now. My drive is to break down those types of walls... because I see that in the past I was no better than any other judgmental Christian out there that doesn't give the rest of the world any sort of grace shown to them; I will work to change that. Jesus said that the greatest commandment was to "love your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself," and I look to take that so much to heart it becomes second nature.

I am not the same -it's almost like a breath of fresh air.

4 Tears | Saying Goodbye

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