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Confessions of a dangerous mind

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ducky

:: 2003 28 September :: 10.02pm

i dont know what to say anymore.
i usually write in this thing AT LEAST once a day.
its not that i havnt had time.
or tha ti have nothing to say..
its like i dont know how to form sentances anymore
put my thoughts into words.
errr

1 let me fall | catch me..


ducky

:: 2003 28 September :: 1.17pm

i donno..

1 let me fall | catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 28 September :: 1.05pm
:: Mood: dorky

got your back
You got mine,
I'll help you out
Anytime.
To see you hurt
To see you cry,
Makes me weep
And wanna die.
And if you agree
To never fight,
It wouldn't matter
Who's wrong or right.
If a broken heart
Needs a mend,
I'll be right there
To the end.
If your cheeks are wet
From drops of tears,
Don't you worry,
Let go of your fears.
Hand in hand
Love is sent,
We'll be sisters
Till the end.

I luv u so much britterz! And i hope dat things get bak to da way they were before, cuz i miss being da best of friends, n talkin all da time, and jus being HAPPY cuz we were best friends n "together"...i jus feel like a part of me is missing, all these days going by not talkin to you, its drivin me nuts!I luv u so much and im really srry fo everything dats been going on lately, and i hope dat u forgive me...I LUV YOU!

love alwyas,
~*Jilly*~

5 let me fall | catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 26 September :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: amused

Rockergurl217: I AM BRITT
Rockergurl217: DO U WANNA TALK 2 EM
J d shortier 623: dis aint britt
Rockergurl217: YEA IT IS
J d shortier 623: no its NOT! WHOO LOOK I CAN DO IT TOO!!
Rockergurl217: BITCH SHUT THA FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE
J d shortier 623: see dis aint britt
J d shortier 623: hah! ur an ass!
Rockergurl217: WELL BRITTS RI HERRRRRRE AND SHE SAID 2 SAY DAT
Rockergurl217: SO IM NOT THE ASSSSSSSS
Rockergurl217: U R
J d shortier 623: no im not really...n thanks britt...:-)
J d shortier 623: has anyone ever told u dat u talk funny?
Rockergurl217: WAT EVA
J d shortier 623: well u do!
J d shortier 623: i mean geesh does da keyboard not work or do u jus not know how to spell ass* n here* n two*
Rockergurl217: LEAVE US ALONE

hah, dat would be britts BEST FUCKIN FRIEND emily! Dont she sound like sucha great friend, but ya know wat, britt dont seem dat great of a friend neither, but oh well, neways jus thought i would put dis in here fo PROOF! mwuh! latah!

2 let me fall | catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 26 September :: 11.05pm

I DONT LIKE UR BEST FRIEND EITHER SHES A DUMB BITCH!!!

catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 26 September :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: confused

The Day I Died

How could they do this to me?
Why must I be in constant misery?
Do you know? Do you care?
Hello? Is anyone there?
No? I didn't think so
Why would anyone want to stay, when they can just go?
They said they loved me, but I know that's a lie
They won't notice me unless I die.
But what would be the point then?
I can't die over and over again
Love and happiness are just crap to keep us going
Everyone hides behind a mask, to keep the pain from showing
I tried that once, and I hated it so
Because hiding from it, won't make it go.
Life is weird, I must say
and it gets weirder and weirder by the day.
So, why do I bother anymore?
Why don't I just walk out the door?
Leaving would be too easy to do
As far as taking the easy way out, I don't want to.
But yet, I don't wish to stay
I want to know, why it has to be this way.
Will no one tell me? Does anyone know?
I have made up my mind, I am just going to go.
The pills I found should do the trick,
Then it will all be over, hopefully quick.
I took the pills as my world spun around me
I look down at my corpse and the people crying.
They are making a big deal about my death,
Why do they choose to care, after my final breath?
Goodbye to those who chose to love me
Remember this wouldn't have happened, if you had told me.


NOT A POEM BY ME, ITS BY A GIRL NAMED CALI...lol :-p but i think its awesome and a great way to explain how i feel rite now...

Love always,
~*Jilly*~

catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 25 September :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Right thurr remix...lol

Another...
Another shitty day at skool and now ive freakin gotta go to work in a lil bit and i wont get to talk to britt t day/nite either damn it! I miss her... :-( but oh well...

Well lets see a few things excitin happened t day... There was 2 diff fights n i got to watch em both lol but yah one was wit stephanie n nikki n da other was wit Jaimie n da one and only BRITTNEY! ahah i was sittin there laughin my ass off it was fuckin great, and lets see i prolly failed my media test t day...n like yah i gotbitched at by steff cuz of dat..."Jill u need to apply urself better u raelly r a smart girl if u try" YAH MY ASS STEFFANIE!! Lets see lots of things happened t day...uhm another thing dat happened was dat like well yah dis is kinda bad i passed out in gym t day like at work...yah we were runnin da 800 around da track which is only 2 times around n like regularly i can go round 3 times no prob, but like t day after da first lap i was running i like started to get dizzy n i jus fell down on da track, n like yah tiffany n da teacher n natalie n all dem like ran up and picked me up and i had to like go sit in da shad en everything so like Kyle like put his arms around me n walked me ova to da bleachers...*whoa babey* lol it was great i luv him, ive known him forever n hes like one of my best guy friends hes da biggest sweetheart ever! But yah wit all dat sweet n cute news bout him guess wat t day was!! His fuckin last day at our skool! hes movin to missurie or wateva i cant spell, but yah and he went home early and like i went down to da office durin 3rd hour {gym was second hour} n hes in both of those classes wit me and lik eyah i went to call my mom and he was down there to and like yah he was callin his mommy too so he could go home cuz he felt like shit ya know, and like i was going bak nto class n he was gettin picked up n he was like r u going bak to class n im like yah and hes like oh well ur leavin me on my last day of skool without givin me a hug?! Awwe it was so cute so i went to go givve him a hug n like he wouldnt let go lol i felt so bad den he like FINALLY let go n like yah he walked me bak to class n like we were standin outside like cuz my class is rite by da bak doors n like yah he was like well im gonna go bak to da office n im like okay good luck n everything n he was like yah thanks and den im like well yah im gonn...and da next thingi knew we were kissin, and i dont mean juus a peck on da lips! ;-) and like yah it was really weird n like yah when we finished kissin lol he like looked at me n he had tears n his eyes it was so friggin sad so i was like how long will it be til ur mom gets here and he said she'd be here in like 35 minutes so i skipped my class n went off wit him and we jus went by da baseball diamond n like "hung out" lol jk but yah we jus sat there n talked fo like da whole time n like den da next thing i hear is da end of class bell and like it had been like an hour and like he was like oh shit ive gotta go, n i was like well hey heres my numba call me and he was like will do, n like yah we kissed again lol and yah dat was it he left, i cant imagine not havin dat goof ball in my classes anymore he was in my 5th most of my 6th 7th n like 3 in 8th n like 3 in 9th and now hes gone! Urgh i fuckin hate when dat happens, i miss him already n he aint even left da skool yet damn it! So yah t day was and is going to be a shitty day! I jus wanna fuckin sleep forever n never ever wake up! Dat would be fine n great wit me! But since i cant do dat, {well i could, by doing something naughty ;-)} but since i CANT do dat im jus gonna go take a nap n wait fo my mom to get home or to katies so i can go to work...:'(

Latah...

~*Jilly*~

catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 24 September :: 11.50pm

Ya knw wat now i raelly wish dat i could have said to britt,

"Hey britt ive been havin a shitty couple of days do u thimk dat we could talk bout it?" n she'd be all lik eyah whas wrong n everything n id tel her and shed be like oh im srry is there anythin i can do and id be like no its okay no biggie, and things would be ok cuz ya know i jus talked bout shit n let things out ya know...BUT NO! I cant even say dat to my best friend, and if i cant do dat den home da hell am i surposed to be able to like tell someone else bout it ya knw...i was surposed to go see mrs blume t day after skool but i couldnt cuz i had to friggin work...im quitin dat job fo odd reasons dat i wont go into detail rite here but yah neways...

I dunno im kinda tired rite now but not really, i jus wanna crawl into a lil ball n jus lay down somewhere n cry! Jus cry forever, and however loud i want, n so nobody can hear, so nobody can hear how friggin weak i am! But since i cant do dat, ill jus have to deal wit sittin here on da bed here cryin softly so not many ppl here can hear...

Off to "Sleep" den to da place others call skool but which i call my own personal hell, i fuckin hate skool...since im failin everythin n i always will cuz im fuckin dumb neways bye everyone haha

--Jilly

catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 24 September :: 11.03pm

Okay last-i think-but last on purpose, Cassie...

Okay well lets see wat can i write bout cassie, well like since 5th grade we've been like real close n like shes been my best friend and she seriously has meant everything to me we were always together always talkin passin notes at eachothesr houses, i mean everything, she was always there fo me i was always there fo her and we did everything together! I would have to say most of those years were da best years of my life, dat is until last year in 8th grade at least...

Last year everything changed, i felt like my life was ruined, i hated everyting and everyone jus cuz i lost cassie, she meant everyting to me and one day she jus all da sudden hated me and found a new bff tiffany...{which i think like made cassie stop talkin to me and caitlin cuz she didnt like us but yah} I was lost without cassie and actually to say da truth fo once, i still am, i mean yah i know dat she treated me like shit n everything but ive still got a soft stop fo her ya know...like its hard to forget bout someone like her so easily ya know...n actually sometimes i still fall asleep cryin cuz i miss everyting dat we had together, like earlier, i started cryin cuz of it but dats besides da point neways i dunno, da only thing dat i can really think to say bout cassie is...

I jus fuckin miss her still!! :'(

--Jilly

1 let me fall | catch me..


liljilly07

:: 2003 24 September :: 11.00pm

Oh yah i couldnt member chelsie...uhm lets see here...wat can i write bout her...hah okay here we go..

Well lets see before like a lil while ago, i was really havin a hard time n like i was really sad alot n alotta shit was happenin and like yah da one person dat was like really there fo me and like wanted to talk bout me...or so i thought...was her and like yah we talked n got closer and i really appreciated her n everything and she made me feel so much better ya know, but den i found out like all dis shit dat she does and all dis shit dat she has done to brittany...so now i fuckin hate her guts n i really wish dat she would fuckin die, shes a stupid fuckin moron dat really dont deserve friends like brittany but oh well neways...

i jus dont like her anymore...END OF STORY!!

1 let me fall | catch me..

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