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Confessions of a dangerous mind

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:: 2003 23 October :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: cranky

Stacey lynn is a bitch!!
Awwe fuk now stacey is tryin to make me choice between her and britt again...

Angel4Lyf2323: FINE TALK 2 HER AND NOT ME!!!!
J d shortier 623: I wuB yEw!
J d shortier 623: no dats not it!!
J d shortier 623: not at all stacey lynn!
J d shortier 623: NO I LUV YOU TOO!
J d shortier 623: I LUV BOTH OF YOU

I know wat shes doing...shes tryin to do, shes tryin to get me to say dat i luv her more! And dat she means everything to me and blah blah blah but it aint gonna work dis time cuz britt does mean more to me, plain and simple! ahh another fite hold up!

ahaha now she knows wat happened, like wat i was talkin bout in dat last entry, she knew alreayd like i did it but like she didnt know dat i did it still...fun stuff...

Angel4Lyf2323: YUSS ITS FUCKIN STUPIED!!!!!!!!!!
Angel4Lyf2323: >:o
Angel4Lyf2323: U ASKIN 2 DIE JILLy!!!!!!!!
Angel4Lyf2323: >:oGOD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!
J d shortier 623: wateva bye!
J d shortier 623: Ya know wat
J d shortier 623: dis is da fuckin last time stacey!
J d shortier 623: You do dis shit all da damn time and im sick of it
J d shortier 623: If you leave again and dont talk to me again den dis is seriously da last fuckin time, im not tlakin to you anymore if u fuckin leave dis time!
J d shortier 623: Thats bullshit stacey!
Angel4Lyf2323: OK FNE!>:o
J d shortier 623: So u never wanna talk again?
J d shortier 623: over some stupid shit like dis dat dont mean anything at all
J d shortier 623: Is dat wat ur sayin?
J d shortier 623: fine dont answer me
J d shortier 623: fuck you!
J d shortier 623: Dats fuckin stupid
J d shortier 623: and ur being fuckin stupid!
J d shortier 623: so FUCK YOU!
J d shortier 623: i hate you!
J d shortier 623: Bye!

Urgh i fuckin hate ppl! Everyone can jus fuckin drop dead fo all i fuckin care...cept my britterZ hehebut other den dat EVERYONE CAN JUS FUCKIN DIE FO ALL I FUCKIN CARE!! fuck alll of you! Stupid fuckin faggots!!


10 let me fall | catch me..


:: 2003 23 October :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: depressed

Okay im not writtin alot cuz i jus wanna go in my room n sit there and cry rite now!!

But wat happened was...dat member dat one promise dat i made you britt...dat one bout how i'd try and not c** m***** as you put it, ya know? well opps im really really srry! I really really really really didnt mean to! And im soooo srry i cant even begin to say how many times im srry! Plz dont be mad at me! Im really srry!

141 days is good tho wouldnt u say?

Britt u mean everyhting to me and im srry!

If i could change it i would but i cant! Ill jus have to try again! All fo you! Everything is fo you! I breath fo you, i cry fo you, i smile fo you, i laugh fo you, i wake up everyday fo you, i live fo you! I luv you!!

BritterZ ~N~ JillerZ BBFAA!! I wub yew!

Plz dont be mad at me i wub you!

Love alwyas,

catch me..


:: 2003 15 October :: 6.27pm
:: Mood: depressed

another day...
Omfg another damn day without Brittany!! Ahh i think dat im going to die or something man! Last night she called me like right when i was callin her, cuz i got offline and everything and i went to go outside n use my mommys cell phone to call her, and i had da house phone in my pocket and like i had her number half way dialed and she called me!!! YAY! So we talked till like uhm 11 30 something...i unno but i missed dat dumb butt! *sniffle sniffle* I miss her t day!! *sighs* Ahh she said dat she would be online t day but NO! Of course she isnt online! lol but oh well i unno im jus gonna get offline and keep sleepin all nite...

I came home and talked online fo bout 10 minutes, and den like went to bed and woke up bout 6, im so friggin tired lately...I feel like im bout to pass out still...I unno why tho ive jus been really really really really tired these past couple of days...urgh i unno...

Other then dat alot of things have been going okay, and alotta things have been going wrong...but ahh who cares...neways im jus like gonna go now...mike told me to check my other journal so dats wat im gonna do den im gettin offline latah...

Love always,

catch me..


:: 2003 14 October :: 9.02pm
:: Mood: miserable

Omfg another horrible day without my Britterz...none at all...i waited here all day long jus fo her...but no she never got online never called me...nothing...i cried almost ALL DAY LONG! Im bout to call her in a second when i get offline...but god only knows if she'll answer her celly and im pretty positive shes not home...urgh i really really really really miss her alot alot alot!! I feel like cryin again! :o( look its a britt smiley too! Ahh i cant wait no longer im CALLIN HER RITE NOW! And if she dont answer...den ill be rite bak here...being depressed...again...*starts cryin again*

Love always,

Awwe babey girl i miss you so friggin much!!! Where da hell r u?! *starts cryin again*

catch me..


:: 2003 13 October :: 2.33am
:: Mood: worried

Urgh i cant sleep again, so here i am at woohu talkin away fo absolutly no reason at all...


Well lets see here, i dont even know why im really writtin in this journal cuz like i started another journal, but yah everyones going to read dat one so hmm maybe i sould jus really keep both updated, n jus have dat one fo absoutly no reason, jus to keep ppl updated on wats going on and all dat, and dis one can be "Da real deal" hehe i unno...

Urgh im tired as fuck! This weekend seemed kinda borin but it was really stressful n kinda busy, like okay fri yah i did nuffin really, sat i had to go to da doc bout my knee, den work, den out wit James n Tiffany {Trixi} n all of dem to get drunk off our asses fo Taylors b day on fri, den sun i had to go to Brittneys, den out to lunch wit my grandparents cuz thier leavin fo FL 2marro well t day actually, and den out to dinner wit my friends...

Urgh den came home {after katies} and had to deal wit everyones shit again, not jus my family but my friends too, like Stacey im sick of her always yellin n bitchin at me den like 5 minutes latah shes all like omfg guess wat jushappened to me?! And of course i bounce up n see wat dramatic event happened in her life and totally forgive her once again...but once i think bout it, dats kinda like wat i do to BrittANY...

Urgh i unno, i feel so bad fo BrittANY cuz she has to put up wit me, I hope that like one of these days, shit between us gets straighten out ya know...and i hope that one day i can be a better friend to her, like da kind of friend she is to me...

Rockergurl217: u go around feelin all sad cuz stacey dont like u anymore and jesus u fukin like push every one away jill
Rockergurl217: like ur tellin me i hate u rite now?
Rockergurl217: u think if u keep doin that im jus gonna keep sittin here tellin u i love u
Rockergurl217: i have better things to do ya no but i do love u and i put up with it but im not always gonna jus do that ya no
Rockergurl217: and u say u aint gonna but u still do jill
Rockergurl217: and now ur gonna prolly say "mayb i should let u go" or something like that but u cant jus run from everything ya noi

Yah u wanna know wat i say to dat...FINALLY! Finally da truth comes out...ya know wat i dont want u to have to deal wit dat shit brittany, and u souldnt have to, and ya know wat, im srry okay! Im srry...dats da best dat i can do...

Urgh ya know wat i was thinkin...maybe i sould jus like stop talkin wit everyone, all my friends, fo a lil while, and get my shit together, n get everything straighten out wit me, and fo once jus wrry bout my damn self, like everyone else does...

Ya know its always been everyone else before me, its always been friends first no matter wat, ive got walked over my whole life, jus cuz my friends mean so much to me i would drop anything and everything i had planned fo my friends, jus like wit da whole boyfriend deal...same thing, its never really been bout wat i feel or how im doing or wat im doing, its always how r they feeling, how r they doing, wat r they doing? I never really have stop n took da time fo me me me..ya know? dat prolly sounds selfish or wateva, but i know wat i mean...

Urgh im tired, ZzZzZzZzZ...

Im gonna like go off n like count sheep or something...lol Latah everyone...

1 sheep...
2 sheep...
3 sheep...
4 sheep...
5 sheep...
6 sheep...
7 sheep...
8 sheep...
9 sheep...
10 sheep...
11 sheep...
12 sheep...
13 sheep...
14 sheep...
15 sheep...
16 sheep...
17 sheep...
18 sheep...
19 sheep...
20 sheep...
21 sheep...
22 sheep...
23 sheep...
24 sheep...
25 sheep...

*starts drooling on da keyboard...*
*then notices thats its also only 25 days till me n britt get married* *giggles* lol

Okay really leavin luv you,

Love always,

6 let me fall | catch me..


:: 2003 12 October :: 10.53am

I AM::upset rite now...
I THINK::I sould get offline n get ready to leave...
I KNOW::I sould get offline n get ready to leave...
I WANT::To talk to Brittany
I HAVE::alot to do today...
I WISH::I could talk wit Brittany...
I HATE::Not talking to Brittany...
I MISS::Brittany...
I FEAR::Losing Brittany...
I HEAR::Right thurr playin on my Cd player...
I SEARCH::for something, i jus dont know wat yet...
I WONDER::Where da hell Brittany has been...
I REGRET::Everything ive ever done to Brittany...
I ACHE::Well my knee aches cuz i cracked it on fri and had to go to da doc on sat..
I CARE::Alot about Brittany...and at da moment nothing else..

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catch me..


:: 2003 12 October :: 10.24am
:: Mood: cranky

Today was pretty shitty, I woke up feeling like nothing went to work as nothing, and den went to bed as nothing, which makes me come to the conclusion of...
I will never amount to anything, ill always be a N---o---t---h---i---n---g...

These days things have been sooo different...alotta shit has been going on wit friends, not good stuff either...ive been losing alot of my friends lately...alot of my close friends...and its all my fault, ive been screawin everything up lately, and i dont know how da hell or when da hell dat i did it...

I want everything to go bak to normal again! I want my life bak! *Yells fo her mommy, but then realizes her mom dont give a fuck bout her...*


On the other hand, ive been talkin wit Mike again, and dats really kool, cuz i liked him alot, and now i do again...but that will jus turn into another nothing guy dat i really didnt care bout anyway...they all always do...

Last night when Kim was driving me home from work n everything, like we were talkin bout shit n everything and like we were talkin bout alotta shit, and one thign was dat If i ever were having sex n everything that i would have to tell her cuz she said dat its better to tell her so that she could talk wit my mom and like get me something {Like birth contral} so dat i dont wind up preganet at da age of 15...wow seems like she has high expectations of me too wouldnt u say...den another thing i said to her was dat my friends mean everything to me and dat if i had to choose between my friends and my boyfriend, i would choose my friends ova anything, and she said dat jus wasnt rite...and yah like ya know wat...its so true, ive ditched so many guys fo my friends who said dat they really needed me and needed to talk to me and all dat shit, when they really didnt and in the end it jus really hurt me, like wit Andrew, like i ditched him alotta times fo my friends, who really didnt need me but said they did, and like i lost him, we broke up, and i was da one dat was heartbroken...he maent alot to me and i jus blew it off cuz i used da excuse dat i didnt care cuz it was fo my friends and they meant everything to me...but really i could have killed dat friend fo ruining something that meant a million times more to me than our friendship...


I unno anymore..

Who gives a fuck tho..

Love always,

catch me..


:: 2003 11 October :: 10.17pm

Nicknames:Jilly, shorty, Jillerz, Gizmo, Stubs, Trix, Jillby, lol alot of em..
Age:Wouldnt u like to knw *wink da wink* haha
Birthday:June 9th
Nationality:Wat do u think smarty?
Current Height:3 feet nothing lol
Hair Color:Brownish Blonde
Eye Color:Brownish greenish
Family:Wat bout them fags...?
Location:P lake! lol {inside joke haha}
College:Is somewhere someone like me will never make it...*sighs*
Piercings:Yah but most of em im gonna take out...
Red or Blue:Blue!
Spring or Fall:Spring
Santa or Rudolph:Rudolph
Math or English:English
What are you going to do after you finish this survey:Prolly do another survey
What was the last food you ate:Uhm a milky way...
High School or College:Neither
Last movie you saw:Uhm...October Sky in math class on fri lol
Last noise you heard:My mom bitchin at me to get offline lol
Last time you went out of state:Uhm i unno dis summer...
Things you like in a girl/guy:Alotta things...
What book are you reading now:Tiger Eyes again
Favorite board game:Monoply
Favorite magazine:Teen People
Worst feeling in the world:Feeling alone...
First thing you think of in the morning:Brittany...
Future daughter's name:Alexis
Future son's name:James
Chocolate or Vanilla:Vanilla
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal:Yah my monkey named Happy
Dream job:Vet...or soemthing lol
Whats under your bed:Alotta junk l ol

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:: 2003 11 October :: 10.15pm

Coke or Pepsi?:Pepsi
Love or Lust?:Love
tv or movies?:Movies
cats or dogs?:Cats
meal or dessert?:Dessert of course
east coast or west coast?:West coast i tink...hehe
tall or short?:Short
football or baseball?:Football
soccer or basketball?:Basketball
outside or indoors?:Outside
blonde or brunette?:Blonde
apples or oranges?:Oranges
aol or yahoo?:Aol
stars or moons?:Stars DUH! haha

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:: 2003 11 October :: 10.12pm

Movie?:Save the last dance
Computer?:uhm gateway...
Band?:Simple Plan fo da moment
Song?:I unno lots of em...
Person?:Brittany Marie Gamester!!
Solo Artist?:Tupac
Sex Position?:hmm lots of em too! *wink da wink*
Food?:Ice cream
Type of Clothing?:uhm something frum Pac Sun
CD?:I unno...
Subject in School?:Media/Journalism/language arts
TV Show?:Dawsons creek fo 1st and Friends wit a close 2nd lol

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