:: 2005 21 April :: 8.01 am

*sigh* there is nothing to do right now. Im tired as hell and bored out of my skull. Bla!!! Im so tired right now cuz i was shopping with my mom from 3:30 till about 10:00 yesterday ( i didnt get home till about 10:45) I spent most of that time looking for a stupid prom dress! I hate dress shopping!! its so hard to find anything affordable. I also got another outfit for when Tony and I ( and the rest of the kids ) go to Toronto tomorrow at frikin 4 in the morning. I am excited about it though...just not about waking up at 4am. so yea..thats how it is right now. bye.

2 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 15 April :: 9.52 am

Why doesnt anybody ever comment in my journal!?!??! am I boring or something!?!?! Geez!!!!

7 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 8 April :: 7.36 pm

.....So.....my best friend and i got to see some...strange things today. Apparently andrea has some creepy pedafile guy sending her pictures. there was 2 that she couldnt se...so she sent the e-mail to me....and lucky me (not) it was a picture of his downstairs....and it made me kinda sick. i feel bad for you andrea...i feel bad for me too that i had to see it...thats sick. better luck to you of not seeing anymore yucky..."things"..anymore. love ya!
Umm....i went shopping today with tony and his mom and aunt. it was pretty fun. i got a really cute outfit from forever21. tony got a really sweet outfit too. (not from forever21 obviously...thats a girls store) we needed nice clothes to wear because we are going on the drama trip to Toronto in 2 weekes. that should be fun. I also got a new pair of jeans from the buckle and a Sin City shirt. fun day....
i guess thats all i have to say.

Bishoujo

:: 2005 22 March :: 7.41 am

When I was younger, I thought that I would grow up to be alone and that I would be alone forever. I never thought that someone could love me. I never thought that I would find “the one” But then I did. The really sad thing about that is the 2 years and 5 months that we have been “together” (obviously there have been break-ups and make-ups) I don’t think that I truly loved him until just recently. I don’t think that I really loved him all this time because of the way ive treated and the things I do to hurt him. And when I think about it…ive done a lot to hurt him. And that’s not love. But I know that I love him now. I can tell that I love him now because when I think about losing him…..I feel like I die inside. It feels worse than any heartbreak or sickness ive ever felt in my entire life combined. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worst enemy. Tony is all that I have, and he’s all that I want. He is my life and if I lost him I would be nothing.

Tony,----I’m sorry for everything ive ever done to hurt you. I just hope my actions don’t catch up with you someday and you want to leave me (Anybody else would have after what ive done to you)

I just thought I would tell everybody…or at least everybody who reads this. I want as many people possible to know how I feel.

4 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 11 March :: 8.21 am

Andrea....I Miss you. And Im really confused on everything that is going on with Me as my own person, with you as your own person, and with us as best friends. I want to know whats going on. i need to talk to you sometime. I called you yesterday...i dont know if your mom told you that i called, but she said she would. I would just really like to talk to you....i cant take the way things are anymore....ill explain more later. If you read this please leave some kind of comment to let me know that your interested in talking with me about this.

2 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 9 March :: 4.07 pm

BLA....i dont really know what to say. Im really excited cuz Ben is coming home for a while. He's a blast.
Um....yea i guess thats really all that i can think of to say. so..yea....i love you tony!!

Bishoujo

:: 2005 3 March :: 12.17 pm

I miss my life....or at least parts of it. I regret so much that ive done. I miss Andrea, I miss our friendship....i miss....being a happy little kid playing in the mud and swimming in swamps and catching snakes and turtles nad frogs in my backyard. I miss having a vivid imagination where i actually thought the back of a trailer was the end of the titanic and leonardo dicaprio was saving me. I miss being care free and happy and i miss not worrying about growing up. this sucks. But im still happy at the same time because tony and i are good and that makes things a bit better. so yea. im going.

2 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 28 February :: 4.50 pm

...ow....my head hurts.
So yea....im really excited for next weekend....sometime soon after next weekend. Tony's friend (my friend too but tony's known him way longer) Ben is coming back and tony, ben, david, and me are gonna hang out. its gonna be so much fun. i cant wait.
i think thats about all......umm......tony and i have been 'offically' going out for over a year now. its awesome. BUT technically we have been together for 2.5 years. i dont know why i just threw that in.....just a fun fact for all of our fans. ok im done.

2 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 20 February :: 4.26 pm

..aww man.....i think im getting sick. its weird, i literally just woke up and was sick. i think its just a head cold though. oh well. i dyed my hair....again. its brown. i got sick of having blonde hair i guess. everybody has it now and its just starting to look stupid. i realized that blonde hair doesnt really look good on many people. ( i say this, but im sure in a few months im gonna be like "geez i wish my hair was blonde again" and then i will dye it back) And i figured that my hair was tooo blonde for my face because im just a tad to pale for super bleach blonde hair. sooooo anyway.....i guess ill be going.

Bishoujo

:: 2005 16 February :: 7.55 am

THIS IS NOT AN APPOLOGY TO ANYBODY BUT JESSICA AND TONY!!!! IT IS SIMPLY MY REGRETS.
Yesterday was....for lack of better words...eventful.Now, i have regrets and i figure "Hey, what better place to tell them then on the gossip and badmouth website we know and love as woohu" I think what i regret is....the fact that Jessica was so upste about the pictures. Granted, it was a little over-reactive seeing as how Mindy made it clear that she could easily make copies, but again, Jessica, im sorry for getting you involves at all. But, it seems like sometimes when you have certain friends, you get involved and hurt in things you dont need to be, and thats the way life is. If i would have known, jessica, that you would have gotten so hurt over the pictures, i wouldnt have done anything to them at all. I also regret not handling things in a more mature way. Now, this is in no way an appology to Mindy or Chelsea or Sonia, but i regret that i didnt just do what i wanted to and kick your ass. Sonia almost got it, and both Sonia and i can thank mrs warwick for, one, saving me from getting expelled, and two, saving sonia from a sore face. (Not trying to make myself seem all bad -assish, but ill tell you, i was pissed) And i guess i regret not making my feelings clear to the people i insulted. You would think that all of us, including me, would be above calling names and making fun of people, seeing as how we are all going to be out in the real world soon (and for some, it may be a hard truth to find out that the real world wont be solved by woohu bashes) Insted of commenting on mindy's horse face or whatever else i said, i should have just come out with the truth. So..........
Mindy, as much as it seemed like we were "buddy buddy" or whatever....i cant remember a time where i ever truly liked you. (Again people, remember this isnt me bashing her, this is me explaining my feelings) Since 8th grade i have alway had some un-known hatred against you. And you were always seeming to be trying to be better than me. ANyways, i suppose that hatred continued on all throughout highschool. And, going back to the one time i spent the night...im not sure if you know anything thats going on with Andrea and i, im sure alot of people dont, but because of whats going on with her and i, i felt like i needed some friends to hang out with, and it just so happened that my friends were at your house...so i wanted to go too. And the time we went bowling...i told you on the phone that i didnt want to go. But you told me that Eddy was dumping Justin, so i wanted to go there and talk to her about it and make sure she wasnt making a mistake. I guess the thing i am super pissed about is that, as bad of a person that i thought you were....i didnt think you would stoop down so low as to blackmail me and threaten to break up my boyfriend and i because of a mistake i made almost 8 months ago. So i guess, now that things are clearer....you can go on knowing that i didnt just start hating you sometime throughout our friendship, because i never truley considered you to be one of my frineds.
Also, i dont remember if i bashed on Chelsea at all....but if i did..AGAIN, i should have just made my feelings clear. Now...
Chelsea, you are the complete opposite of Mindy (as far as my feelings for you go) Sure, you and i had our little fights, but what friends dont? You and i were always friends. In fact, we used to make fun of Mindy together. But then, it seems like ever since my mom took me out of my dad's house (with influence of him kicking me out) you seem to have this massive grudge against me, and you've turned on me. Now, i know that you and mindy were conspiring behind my back. i know that plan. and thats what im mad at you about. You were going to pull that elementary school prank of 'pretending to be my friend and pretending to hate mindy so that you could get me to say bad things about her and then you could go back and tell her what i said.' also, you did it to see if i wrote the stuff that was in the bathroom. Ok,from what i, and everyone knows, and can figure out, it was in the boys bathroom....and as much as you guys want to joke around and say im a man.....really, im not...i promise. So no, i didnt do it. there's your answer you can tell mindy. Now you dont have to pretend to be my friend and "get the dirt"
I guess theres not much more to say.....except to make a comment about Eddy.
Eddy, thanks for always being there for me, and for being the one person who, surprisingly, i can trust (i say surprisinly because there arent many people i can trust in this school) Im glad that i can at least depend on you to not turn your back on me, and to always be there for me when i need you. I love ya buddy.
AND..... i want to quick appologize to Tony....for ever doing something that i knew would hurt you and something i knew would cause us these kind of problems. I hope someday you can completly forgive me. And you know that with all the mistakes i've made that i do love you, although at....certain times...it seemed like i didnt. We al make mistakes. We are all guilty of them. But our life will go on together and we will be happy. Im sorry for bringing you into this at all. I love you.

And thats the end. This wasnt an appology to anybody except tony and jessica. so stop thinking that...................(im so proud of myself for actually getting on woohu without making fun of anybody)

5 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 10 February :: 8.15 am

So i had a really good time at spring hill over last weekend. i got a little sick, but its ok. I made alot of new friends with people i either didnt know existed or didnt know i exsisted. they are all really nice people. The band thee was awesome...daniel's window. I didnt get all into it like some people there did though...with that raising your arms into the air and keeping them there until the song is over. Seems a little obsessive to me. but i did jump around and have fun during the super hard rock songs. They had to of been the best Christian band ive ever heard. But i would still stick to GC and all the others instead.
I stayed home yesterday so tony and i could go up to lakeview and take care of my mommy. she wasnt feeling well and she was all byherself. we took good care of her.
And YAY....i wont be in school tomorrow either. Im going shopping tomorrow for a dress for swirl! wahoo! im excited. Hopefully i can find a dress that fits not only around the big ol' booty, but around my stupid boobs too. i hate them sometimes. but most the time..im glad i have 'em. anyways...wish me luck in finding a cool dress guys! Love you guys!! AND I LOVE YOU TONY.......bye :)

Bishoujo

:: 2005 4 February :: 2.09 pm

....Goin to Spring Hill in 2 hours and 35 minutes. Woohu. Im gonna miss you tony! But hopefully i will have fun. i feel a little left out by the people im supposed to be going with as of now, but hopefully that will change. i hope i have a good time. And tony, i hope you find something to do over this weekend and dont go too crazy. have fun honey. i will see you soon!! :D I love you tony. And dont worry...me going to a Christian camp isnt gonna turn me into a psychotic cult groupie! :) love ya babe. Bye

2 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2005 4 January :: 2.50 pm
:: Mood: confused

Andrea,

You know damn well that it’s because of your religion that we aren’t friends anymore. You just said it yourself. "If there wasn’t such a big wall between us" that wall is you and your new lifestyle. This is complete bull. You and I said that we would always be friends no matter what....I figured when you moved there that the worst that would happen is that you would meet people there and become better friends with them with me. But I didn’t expect God to breathe on you and everything would be screwed. im not trying to hurt you or send you on a path to hell...you might not realize it but your wasting and ruining your life. This isn’t who you are.....you aren’t even the same person anymore. I remember when you wrote that thing on woohu about how Tony was changing me and that you wished I was the same person again...well god and that stupid town and church of yours changed you. And I would give anything to get you back. You can ask anybody here that knows what’s going on. I just sit and cry sometimes thinking about all the fun we used to have and now we cant do it because god says no. well that’s bull shit and you know it. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed...its insane...and of course your going to think your church isn’t a cult...that’s what everybody who doesn’t realize there in one says. Everyone I have talked to about you and how you’ve changed and the way you act and the things you say....even some of the most religious and Christian people I know say what you’re doing is wrong and that you most likely are in a cult. I highly doubt you could be right over a whole bunch of other people. You’ve gone crazy...you just....you aren’t my best friend. I want my best friend back. Ive waited almost 2 years for you to come back. It’s been almost a year since ive seen you....that’s pretty shitty. I’ve waited and waited, and ive been thinking about how you were going to come back here senior year and we were finally going to be able to be friends again like we used to and I thought about the things we were gonna do after we graduated….but now I know none of that will ever happen. I can’t believe you would do this to me. You said we would always be friends….but then you’re the one who makes it so we can’t be. Thanks a lot. I didn’t waste my time hoping that you would come back still the same person….because I still remember you as my best friend. And that’s all I want to remember you as. If you’re going to be like this, then maybe we just shouldn’t talk like we used to anymore. I mean…you aren’t my best friend anymore. You’re some stranger in my best friend’s body. I can’t talk to you, I can’t trust you. I can’t trust someone ive never met before and someone I don’t like…and that’s who you’ve become. You know that you don’t have to change yourself to be ‘saved’. You will be just fine. Im still the same girl I was and I know im going to be ok. I really wish you would consider the fact that you don’t have to be a mindless robot to live a good life. You know deep down you would be a lot happier if you were the way you used to be. Besides the drugs. The old you is always going to be my best friend, and I will always remember her….but you…your just nothing to me now.
And the things I was saying about pokemon and dieting and Halloween weren’t my opinions, they were things I read about what Christians…strict Christians like you’ve become think.

18 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2004 13 December :: 8.17 am

Not that naybody ever reads this....but...Andrea....i think you might be in a cult. seriously. i was talking to my mom about your "church" and the things you do....its not right. You told me about how your church has hypnotists.....well any GOOD christian would know that any form of magic, especially the kind that lets another person 'take over your mind' is a very very evil thing and is definitly un-christian. That right off the bat is pretty freaky...ever think about it...you didnt start acting so retarded about all this until the day after you told me there was a hypnotist at your church. just my opinion....but maybe you should read into the christian religion a bit more.
I dont understand how you seriously think you have to completly follow everything this religion says. not necisarilly in the bible, but in all christian churches. Lets see the other things you do that will condem you to hell andrea....
hmm..playing pokemon...for shame...it says that pokemon is a game about monsters and monsters are interpreted into demons and the game makes it so children are ok with demon and they let the demons into their souls...which is a bad thing....well thats bull...its just a game....kids know the difference.......Dieting....i know you do that Andrea....but maybe you shouldnt be. I think i recall you saying something about going vegitarian...well....god has a plan for us and made our bodies a certian way...we are supposed to eat the way he wants us to...including the animals he provided for us....sin number 2....your racking them up. Halloweens a givin...you can pretty much figure that out for yourself....number 3...you just keep on going....lying...which you do to your mom everytime she asks you if your happy....number 4.....you spend a crap load of money at the mall....another bad thing....body piercing...belly button peircing is what you have i believe......theres 6 things right there....i dont think anything can save you now. im not trying to make fun of you, im just trying to point out how completely idiotic it is to follow a religion so strictly when there are so many things it says you cant do....whats the point in living when all there is to do without sinning is sit around and pray?

9 You're So Vogue | Bishoujo

:: 2004 8 December :: 2.11 pm

Hey all. I cant believe that the school year is almost half way done. its crazy. but im really happy because i have made some great friends since the play started....the play went awesome by the way...these people are people i used to hate, or would hate if i had known they existed...but they are great people. Im really excited because im going to a Mary-Kay party with Danni Lauer at Missy's house. I mean, whats better for a girl than going to a party with a bunch of girls and playing with all sorts of crazy make-up. i wish i had money so i could buy some. Im not sure what time the party gets over but Dan Koonley invited me to his Youth Group at 7:00, so maybe i will go to that too if Missy's party is over with by then. I dont think it will be...and if it isnt its no big deal. either way, im gonna have a good time tonight. I just hope Danni remembers to call me. Yea, well im gonna get going. my fingers are getting sore and theres really nothing else to write. so later guys. love you all! *muah*
Erica Rae

Bishoujo