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eyesofcrystal (profile) wrote,
on 1-4-2005 at 2:50pm
Current mood: confused

You know damn well that it’s because of your religion that we aren’t friends anymore. You just said it yourself. "If there wasn’t such a big wall between us" that wall is you and your new lifestyle. This is complete bull. You and I said that we would always be friends no matter what....I figured when you moved there that the worst that would happen is that you would meet people there and become better friends with them with me. But I didn’t expect God to breathe on you and everything would be screwed. im not trying to hurt you or send you on a path to might not realize it but your wasting and ruining your life. This isn’t who you aren’t even the same person anymore. I remember when you wrote that thing on woohu about how Tony was changing me and that you wished I was the same person again...well god and that stupid town and church of yours changed you. And I would give anything to get you back. You can ask anybody here that knows what’s going on. I just sit and cry sometimes thinking about all the fun we used to have and now we cant do it because god says no. well that’s bull shit and you know it. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed...its insane...and of course your going to think your church isn’t a cult...that’s what everybody who doesn’t realize there in one says. Everyone I have talked to about you and how you’ve changed and the way you act and the things you say....even some of the most religious and Christian people I know say what you’re doing is wrong and that you most likely are in a cult. I highly doubt you could be right over a whole bunch of other people. You’ve gone aren’t my best friend. I want my best friend back. Ive waited almost 2 years for you to come back. It’s been almost a year since ive seen you....that’s pretty shitty. I’ve waited and waited, and ive been thinking about how you were going to come back here senior year and we were finally going to be able to be friends again like we used to and I thought about the things we were gonna do after we graduated….but now I know none of that will ever happen. I can’t believe you would do this to me. You said we would always be friends….but then you’re the one who makes it so we can’t be. Thanks a lot. I didn’t waste my time hoping that you would come back still the same person….because I still remember you as my best friend. And that’s all I want to remember you as. If you’re going to be like this, then maybe we just shouldn’t talk like we used to anymore. I mean…you aren’t my best friend anymore. You’re some stranger in my best friend’s body. I can’t talk to you, I can’t trust you. I can’t trust someone ive never met before and someone I don’t like…and that’s who you’ve become. You know that you don’t have to change yourself to be ‘saved’. You will be just fine. Im still the same girl I was and I know im going to be ok. I really wish you would consider the fact that you don’t have to be a mindless robot to live a good life. You know deep down you would be a lot happier if you were the way you used to be. Besides the drugs. The old you is always going to be my best friend, and I will always remember her….but you…your just nothing to me now.
And the things I was saying about pokemon and dieting and Halloween weren’t my opinions, they were things I read about what Christians…strict Christians like you’ve become think.
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01-04-05 10:57pm

Yes, that wall is me and my new lifestyle. Not me and my religion.

Im not screwed. Im just fine.

"I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." -Jesus
John 3:3
Im not wasting my time or ruining my life. I am saved by the grace of God. And I am loving every minute of it. And I know that I am not the same person anymore. I am better than what I was. Its amazing.

Yes, I did say that you had changed and I wanted the real you back. But I said that cuz I am trying to look out for you. You were denying that he was hitting you when you would call me up crying cuz he was threatening to take his life and make you have the most miserable night of your life. You, on the other hand, are being selfish in trying to persuade me to go back to my old ways. Thats not trying to save me.

My church is not a cult. We worship, read scripture and pray. We have a Christian rock band that sings Christian rock songs. It really sounds like a cult huh?

Im sorry that you cry. There really is no reason to. You think that you would at least be happy for me since you want us to still be best friends and all. If Im happy I guess I'd just expect you to be happy also.

I didnt do anything to you. Im not the one hurting you. I have done nothing to even make you say that I hurt you. Im not the one dragging this on. I told you how I felt and what my beliefs are. But you just cant seem to accept that this is who I am now.

Yes, you do have to change yourself to be saved. And I am very broken inside that you are allowing yourself, other people, and Satan to lie to you about that.

I am not a mindless robot that needs batteries and instructions. I am a human being that has the Love of God and a path to righteousness.

NO. Deep down I would not be happier if I was who I used to be.
People cant survive on Drugs, Alcohol, Grand Theft Auto, Shop Lifting, Skipping School, Bad Grades, Molestation, Lies, "Late Nights"/Parties, Cheating, Profanities, Beatings, Bed Spins, Vomiting, Suicidal Tendancies, Bruises, Cuts, Knives, Guns, Stealing/Robbing, Breaking, Sadness, Sorrow, Pain, Mutilation, Tears, Hatred, Murder, Defacement, Seduction and A Broken Heart.
Sure, most of these things bring an instant thrill... but it only leaves you down and out.

There is no difference between a Christian and Strict Christian. A Christian is a Christian. Some people just think that if they call themselves one then thats all they will need to be saved. But they are so wrong!

You doubted me in your letter. God is the way the truth and the life. I am right over BILLIONS of people that think Buddah is Lord. Do Not Doubt Me.

I Love You. I will always Love you. But know that it is Gods desire that I Love you... when my human ways say that I should disown you as you have done to me.

(reply to this)


Re:, 01-05-05 2:31pm

Ok….you don’t even make any sense. And for your information the “new lifestyle” you have IS your religion. You are no different than someone who believes in buddah. Buddists are exactly like you…they think their god is the only god…but how do we know whats right? You have no clue that everything you are doinf could be totally based on a lie. You don’t even know what your doing. And just so you know…satan isn’t talking to me or telling me to do anything. Im just as religious as you…I just don’t freak out about it and and I don’t leave that as the only way of life.
You cant survive on prayers or crosses either incase you didn’t realize it. The only way of life is to just live life. You don’t have to live it by any rules or regulations except for the law. But the law was made for public safety so that’s a different subject. You basing your life on some book. Paper…that’s what your worshiping. Its bull. And I don’t really care about this anymore. You go ahead and be the way you are. No one else but all the other psychos in the world are going to be friends with you…your going to be alone….in short…..fuck you

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01-06-05 12:06am

For my information? Trust me, I know myself A LOT better than you do. My new lifestyle isnt my religion... But I will say that my religion has something to do with my new lifestyle.

No, Buddists arent exactly like me. No one is. And there is no comparing Buddism and Christianity. I know that I'm right cuz there are prophecies from the Bible that have been recorded and came true. There are prophecies always coming true. There are visions given by God to people.

Uhmmm... Satan talks to everyone. So you cant say that he doesnt talk to you. He's influencing you to write all this stuff to me. You and I are in two totally different places in this religion... there is no way that you can say that you are just as religeous as me without it being a lie. I dont freak out. I speak the truth. And I obey the truth as much as I can.

I didnt say that I could survive on prayers and crosses. And yes, I do realize that. Quit making me out to be stupid. The only way that I can survive is to rely on God. Thats the only way to truly live. Without Him you are just more broken.

There are two ways to live... and 'life' isnt a road. There are two roads. Wide is the path to Destruction and many will follow it... Narrow is the path to righteousness and few will find it. You are either in one place or the other. There is no inbetween. And you need to have some morals and rules in order to choose which path you are gonna take. There is a difference between Biblical truths and ways, and the laws of today.

Who besides you said that I am worshiping paper? I am not. I am worshiping a powerful and loving God. I am obeying the paper [Bible] that he left here for me so that I can take advantage of it by learning about the gospel and gaining knowledge on how to live an awesome and funn life.

I have many friends!!!! How decieved you are!!!!
I have an AMAZING boyfriend that I am gonna marry!!! I have an awesome family that Loves me and supports me in every decision that I make whether they agree with me or not!!!!

I still love you erica. And I will always be here if you ever need anything.

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also." Luke 6:27-29

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Re:, 01-07-05 8:21am

im getting sick of hering about how Christianity is the one and only right religon, you have no more proof that what happened in the bible than what happened in the koran or the talmed or any holy book your just too close minded to except anything else to be true, and to tell you the truth about you worshiping paper,you are by all means, for all you know it could have origionated as a story book to teach children morals it could all me a story that people belive to be true. and then some wacko started worshiping it then he started tricking everyone else around him to act a sertin way so he had alittle control in his life. the bible is not more believable than the lord of the rings books do we see people worshiping them, strangly yes we do, but your still right over them because you a christian, because you think you here god talk to you, well i bet if you ask a muslem they would say they hear ala talk to them, are they just crazy.
your life isent any different if you follow a god of your chosing wether it be ala or budda or god or krishna. they all have different standpoints on life and just because you think your right over them dosnet make you a better person.
what has you god really given to you anyways.
to bad if you sin, if god dident want us to sin he would not have given us the ability to sin.
even tho you may think your doing the right thing, your not. not at all your throwing away a relation ship with someone speical your bestfriend for so thing that youll never see in your life.

(reply to comment)


01-08-05 10:35pm

Yes, I do. And I already told erica about it. There are so many recorded prophecies from the Bible that have come true. How can you disown that and say its not true? Erica sits there and calls herself a Christian when she is going against the Bible and everything that God is saying to do and not to do. She really needs to step back and take a look at herself! Yes, I am to closed minded to accept anything else... and thats cuz I know Christianity is the right religion. And the only one that will lead to eternity with God.

My life would be different if I chose something other to worship than God. For instance, I wasnt worshipping God when I lived out there. My life was so screwed!!! There was absolutly no hope for me. I was on drugs, getting drunk just to get drunk, snuck out to parties with whichever boyfriend I had at the time, stealing money, stealing vehicles, stealing anything that I wanted, I was selfish, I was vulgar, I was sexually impure, I was mentally impure, I lied all the time, I always went against authority. When God became a part of my life all that stuff was thrown as far as the east if from the west. I was borne again... made pure in every aspect. Im not anywhere near as horrible as I used to be. I was changed by God. There is no way that I should be here with as many times as I have tried to kill myself but Gods grace saved me even though I didnt want Him to at the time. You cant say that all of a sudden in a weeks time I was cured from addiction to pot and any alcohol that I could get my hands on.

What about that tsunami? Those many people were in the water to a spiritual ritual to there god. I am sure that if there was god was real he wouldnt have killed 'em all on a day that was supposed to be one of the holiest days for there religion.

I never said that just cuz I KNOW that I am right makes me a better person. I dont think that I am better than any single person... I dont think that any single person is better than me. See, I believe in this equal thing. We were all made in the image of God... why would I think that I am more holy than any other person when we all are a part in the body of Christ.

You cant say that if God didnt want us to sin then He wouldnt have given us the ability to sin. He is giving you freedom to do what you want. He has told you whats right from wrong so that you can be your own big person and choose what to do. There are good consequences and bad consequences for your actions. He's trusting you with yourself to choose whether you will live with Him for eternity in heaven, or live eternally in hell. Its your choice... not His.

I am fine without Erica. She's not my best friend. And I look back I dont know why I called her my best friend. All that her and I ever did was feed off of eachothers evilness. We werent best friends, we were Satans "best friend". So, really I am not throwing away any relationship. Cuz there never really was, what I call, a true relationship.

Your right... I might not see God in my lifetime here on earth. But I am totally ok with that. I need to focus on spreading his Word and doing work for Him (( as I have been doing through talking to you guys)). And it only makes me happy that you guys are critisizing me. I am supposed to count it all joy. God comforts me through this time of sorrow and its awesome.

(reply to comment)


Re:, 01-10-05 2:22pm

Christianity is the right religion. And the only one that will lead to eternity with God. --- define "right" and eternity with god huh, mabye christianity does that. but what about all the other religons that pervide eternity with the god of there choosing huh but yea i guess your right youll always be right because your close minded about all this. you got sucked in to a "religon" so bad you had to "met god" to find out that you were a bad person and had to change.
but i think you need some help because if you think just because someone isent as religous as you that the are satan worshipers. if you herd satan talk to you then you obvisily do have problems because iv never herd god or satan or anyone but my thoughts. so its understandable....your crazy..mabye this is just your mom talking for you.
you have no right to say anything about the tsunami. thousands of people died and all you say is that there god wasent real. well if god created us in his image then why are there so many horrible people on the planet how come hundreds of chritans died in the world trade center, or in tornados or earthquakes huh? were was there god he must not be real cause he let his people die.
and when you said erica isent your best friend and she never was that is the simple most stupidest thing i have ever herd. you and her us to be inseprable. you guys had all kinds of fun and it wasent evil fun it was teenage fun. you threw away a chance to come and see your friend in michagan because you were afraid that you would become evil again, thats bull. something happened to you in your church/cult or it was your mom or something because you were never like this. and if your religon is worth losing erica as a friend than it but be pretty speical because it wont be there for you when you need it....when your all alone and there is no one around will see where your "god" your "god of all gods" your "one and only holy savior" will be, youll die alone and unhappy with no friends but youll be stuck with an imaganary friend named jesus and his dad named god--
Christianity, the right religon, HAHA
you just relie on a religon to define who you are because your so boring your living your life for someone else.

(reply to comment)


Re:, 01-10-05 2:24pm

I've got a question then. If god's all powerful, why would he use his power, to create a race of people, then, even with all his power, hide from them, and allow some of them to not believe in him so that they burn in hell? I mean, if he really was all powerful, why would he create us with the purpose of some going to heaven and some going to hell. There isn't really a point. It seems kind've self centered that we came from our mothers vaginas, from the meeting of semen and egg, yet christians believe that god created us. Molded us like clay. I guess what I'm saying is, if there is an all powerful being there, and he wants to show us love and teach us a lesson through the mouth of others, then why couldn't he just create us not ignorant and none of us would have to suffer in hell. Unless he's just a sadist.

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Re: Re:, 01-10-05 2:27pm

Yeah, I thought being a chistian was about loving all of god's children for who they are, and respecting god. Not being a stuck up bitch about it and pulling that "I'm right and you're not" two year old bullshit.

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01-16-05 12:51am

I do love all of God's children, and I do respect God. I have already basically said that by stating that I still love erica even though she is being so cruel to me, and by listening to His word. And there is no specific age where people say that they are right over someone else. I am sure you do it all the time... as does other people, im not just pointing the finger at you.

Everything that you guys have written I have already replyed to in one way or the other. Can you guys just not accept that I am not gonna give into the evil that you are trying to bring upon me, Not In Any Way Saying That You Guys As People Are Evil. I am fine being a Christian that is doing the right thing by talking to you about God and trying to spread is message. Getting criticized by you all is just a BONUS for me. I just wished that you would realize that "... wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matt. 7:13,14 I am just trying to help you guys out by helping you find that Rock that you can lay all your worries and sins on so that you can live a clean and righteous life. Thats all I want for you guys. I have God in my life... and its so amazing the things that he does for me. I want other people to experiance what I have cuz its the most wonderful thing in the world.

If nothing that I have written in any of my replys makes you want to at least give God a chance in your life, then maybe doing it just to be safe than sorry will help with out. Maybe then you will fall in the Love with the Lord and Saviour of my life.

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Re:, 01-18-05 9:40pm

Oh no, don't think I'm nagging. I'm acting pointing out an intellectual view for my own contraversial reasons. Not trying to get offensive. I like hearing opinions.

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^_0, 01-19-05 12:23am

Ahh... i see, i see. Well, you have basically read my "opinions and views". Im Christian and just trying to do the right thing.

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01-22-05 1:43am

Can't we all just get along?

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01-23-05 5:35pm

I get along with a lot of people.

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Re:, 01-31-05 2:41pm

Sorry it took so long to reply.....lack of internet for quite some time

Ok Andrea…yes…..for your information….i never said I knew you better than you know yourself. We’ve been through the fact that I don’t know who you are anymore already. But, whether you have the ability to admit it or not, which obviously you don’t, logical thinking would show that since you became an psycho bitch God freak, you got a “new lifestyle”, with that new lifestyle, the “wall” was built between us, so, if you look back you would see that YOUR RELIGION is, in fact, the wall between us, and is the reason why we aren’t friends anymore. Its not that hard to figure out, unless, of course, God told you to forget common sense.

Figures that you would take the Buddha thing to such a literal level….when I said you were exactly like the Buddhists, obviously I didn’t mean they have the same personality as you and shop and the same store as you, you’ve already made it clear ‘no one is like you’. Again, if you use common sense you would see my point….Buddhists believe that their God is the ONLY god and that their religion is right over all others….which is exactly what you said about God and the Christian religion…thus making your views on your religion exactly like the Buddhists and their views on their religion.

As for the Prophecy thing…you a complete idiot, and down right a crazy person if you think that people with the ability to predict events in the future get all their views from God because they worship him. There are thousands of people in the world who can predict events in the future…and im sure only 3 out of 10 of them believe in God. Look at Nostrodamus…He was neither a God or a Christian….but he found ways to predict a lot of things…and from what I can remember….more of HIS predictions came true than the Bible’s. Tony made a perfect point about the Bible. It could have very well been written by some whacko. The bible wasn’t written by God or Jesus…it was supposedly written by people who had encounters with him and by his decipals…but there’s no proof of that. They probly had some kind of super drug along time ago and some nut job took them and started ‘seeing things’ for all we know. Look at what all the crazy’s do when they hear god telling them to do things. All I’ve ever heard about is people killing their children because god told them to. The people who wrote the bible were probly just as crazy as them. You’re getting too deep into something you really have no clue about. None of us do. And you of all people do not have any proof, what-so-ever, that your religion is right over all others, or even right at all.

Satan does not talk to everyone. Satan has influences in this world, but they aren’t verbal conversations. And trust me…there’s no demon on my shoulder telling me to write all this about you…im doing it all on my own. Unlike you who copies things from the bible and claims them for your own. And incase you don’t know what im talking about…ill tell you. You said “do not doubt me. I love you. I will always love you. But know that it is gods desire that I love you….when my human ways say I should disown you as you have done to me.” Hmmm….that’s strange…every other time you ran out of ideas and took things from the bible, you said it was from the bible. But not this time…why not? Couldn’t think of anything clever and didn’t think I would figure it out? Pathetic.

The only thing that I am ‘broken’ about, is the fact that I lost my best friend to some 2nd rate cult in Wisconsin. I will admit, I never, ever thought that was coming. But I guess I should have expected the unexpected. But then again, I thought you were smart enough not to get into something like that. But anyway, I am not any more broken without god. In fact, I would be less broken if he wasn’t involved in our relationship. Incase you didn’t notice, its him and the religion his groupies made up that is making me broken. Looks like your all turned around.

Ok, im into the point of reading your replies on this thing, and thinking that you just might be the stupidest person alive. I KNOW there’s a difference between the Biblical Opinions and the laws of today. Im not that stupid. A five year old probly knows that already.

Who besides me thinks your worshiping paper? Well maybe not literally praying over a piece of paper….but a lot of people think that your going a little over the top with this. I mean, you living your life by someone else’s word….and its not even Gods word…it’s the word of some strange man who is dead and gone now, who was probly all messed up in the head. THAT to me is a little freaky.

You have a lot of friends…ok…well your cult groupies don’t count because you are all being brainwashed to like each other. The boyfriend thing I will give you, he seems like a great guy and im glad you found someone who actually likes you for you and not for what’s under your jeans….unless of course, he goes to your church cult thingy…then he doesn’t count either. But….you family…HAHA……now that one got me slapping my knee. Even I know that your family treats you like shit….your dad beat you….there’s that point blank….and you mom treats you like a slave. You used to tell me all the time about how much you hated it there and about how horrible they treated you and about how bad you wanted to come back but the only reason you didn’t is because you didn’t want to hurt your moms feelings. Even when you didn’t live there you would always tell me about how your mom hated you and how you never wanted to see her again and how she blew you off all the time to go hang out at the bar with her friends. But if you changed your mind that much about her and she “suddenly” because so nice and sweet and perfect…..that’s even more proof that you are all in a cult. People don’t just change as fast as you and your family supposedly did. Its too fake.

You are seriously insane if you think that our friendship was nothing but us feeding off each others evilness…are you retarded….WE WERENT EVIL!!!!!! We did nothing close to evil…we mouthed off to teachers, skipped school once, drank, swore, and stayed out late occasionally. That isn’t evil….that is teenage girls being teenage girls. Its not my fault that you got high all the time and were sexually impure. If I had known that you were doing drugs, I would have helped you stop. And you know that. Nothing bad would be happening anymore. You would have stopped drinking when I stopped drinking, you would have stopped doing drugs because I would have made you, and then you wouldn’t be depressed. Things would be just fine if you were still here. The whole “being suicidal” thing was just a phase that our entire class went through in 8th and 9th grade. People wanted to be depressed because it was the new fad. All we ever wanted back then was attention, so we figured if we cut ourselves and left marks all over ourselves then people would pay attention to us and care about our lives. But we weren’t ever really depressed. I almost think depression is just some made up thing someone thought of so all the losers like we were could get more attention. And don’t even say that you really were depressed just because you were prescribed Prozac…the only reason you got prescribed that is because your dad said so. And if it wasn’t your dad, then it was you wanting to have a reason to be on drugs. But you cannot seriously look back on our friendship….on the 2 years that we were completely inseparable and say that there wasn’t really a relationship. That’s some crazy cult your in if they teach you that past friendships are bad, demonic things. You can really think that it wasn’t fun. I know, your going to say “No actually I really didn’t think it was fun” but that’s just your cult talking. That’s not the real you….the real you is gone, so I’ve learned to not take anything you say to me to heart. There is nobody there in crappy Wisconsin who will ever love you as much as I did. You might think there are because that’s what your being trained to think, but I know you cant help it, and if you could just break free from what those people are doing to you, you would notice that what your doing is ruining the fun life you used to have. You know that we were everything to each other. Whenever you had a problem, the only person you could or did call was me. I remember back when I first found out about what your dad was doing to you, and you called me once around 11:30pm, and another time after midnight, and I argued with my dad and got in trouble so I could talk to you and be there for you, and I talked him into going to pick you up in the middle of the night if you needed us to. You always helped me through any problem I had. I didn’t have anybody in 8th grade, and I relied on you to help me through everything. You and I were much, much more than best friends. I couldn’t imagine how bad my life would have been if you and I never got to know each other. I just want you to know that as mad as I am at you…I will always keep everything personal you ever told me to myself…and I hope you can respect me and yourself to do the same for me.

I know this is a horrible thing for me to say, but its how I feel… I would almost rather that you were dead then for you to be the way you are now. I think it would hurt less if you were dead and gone forever rather than you still being here but refusing to come back to the way you were and refusing to believe that you are being trapped in something bad that isn’t letting you be yourself ever again.

Its not just me that thinks your in a cult either. And I don’t really think it….I am almost 100% sure that you are in one. And a lot of other people think so. The only people who don’t mind me saying names is me, Tony, my mom, and Tony’s mom. But there are about 4 or 5 others that I’ve talked to and they think so too. There are people in this school who are very, very good Christians, and who have been living the Christian religion A LOT longer than you have, who think you are in a cult. I don’t even have to tell those people that I think your in one…I just tell them the way you are acting and the things you are saying and, no lie, every single one of them say to me “Well, there are actually a lot of cults in Wisconsin, and most of the time people don’t even realize that they are getting in one, and it really sounds like she is in one of them.” Or people tell me that the way you are acting isn’t good at all and that you will probly snap someday and go crazy.

Ok…you think IM the one who needs to step back and look at myself?? I know exactly who I am…it seems to me that you are the one who needs to step back and look at yourself. You are the one out of the 2 of us that has changed….so don’t you think I would know myself a little bit better than you know yourself? (why did I even ask that question….of course your going to disagree) You may think that you know yourself completely…but you really don’t. you don’t even know yourself anymore. You aren’t even the same person. Its like saying you know someone completely when you just met them an hour ago. You completely changed yourself and the way you are, you are being untrue to yourself…so you’re the one who needs to step back and take a look at yourself.

From the way you write certain things, it almost seems like you still want to sound like a bad ass…. “I snuck out to parties with whichever boyfriend I had”….YOU HAD 2 BOYFRIENDS!!! You make yourself come off as a whore. Unless of course you lied to me about that, and you had other boyfriends besides Al and Alex. And the truck you “stole” was your dad’s….which doesn’t count. You make yourself seem like the girl whose life was worse than anyone’s and then you got saved by the grace of god….bull shit. You weren’t a bad kid at all, and you sure as hell weren’t the devil’s best friend.

Alright…onto the part where I come off as a complete bitch…im sorry…but you deserve it after writing what you wrote…..
This tsunami thing…wow….after reading that…I was too pissed off for any words. But I managed to think of some. Are you seriously THAT stupid?!?! You really think that their god just let them die?? You’re a fucking retard!! Lets think of it this way…say you were outside in a field somewhere praying, and all of a sudden a tornado started and picked you up right off the ground….do you really think that just because you worship the supposedly “right” god that he would save you?? It doesn’t matter what god those people in the tsunami…they would have dies anyway. That was something that was un-avoidable. There were children and elderly people and all sorts of people who died in the tsunami….did they all deserve to die too just because they worshiped the wrong god?!?! I cant believe you would sink so low to say that people died because they worshiped the wrong god. You’re the biggest fucking bitch for saying that….and I personally think your stupid as hell.

Along with the fact of you being a stupid bitch…you are also the biggest hypocrite I think I’ve ever met. You said “Why would I think I am more holy than any other person” But looking back on other things you wrote to me you said “You and I are in 2 totally different places in this religion…there is no way you can say you are just as religious as me without it being a lie” Hmm…sounds a little bit like you were saying you were more holy than me. I guess you better take time to get your lies straight before you write to me again.

Just so you know, you may think your spreading God’s word…but you really aren’t. In fact, talking to you and seeing the ways that god has changed you had sadly made me less religious and made me want to believe that there actually isn’t any specific higher power. The way you are acting is making me want to have god in my life less. And its not just me that you’ve changed for the worse as far as this religion thing. Looks like you failed.

Im also very glad that me replying to you and arguing with you is making me happy, because im not planning on stopping anytime soon. It just makes me feel better knowing that all this writing isn’t going to waste. At least your getting positive feelings from it. Also another seemingly hypocritical statement…. You said it makes you happy when I argue or disagree with you or whatever…but then you say that god helps you through that time of sorrow…?? So are you happy or are you sad?? I cant really tell.

Basically, what you are saying about the Christian religion is that anyone who isn’t a Christian is doomed to hell. That’s just as bad as being racist. Its like saying, “anyone who is black needs to die” Its exactly the same…except in this situation it would be called prejudice….that’s all you are…is a prejudice bitch. You are prejudice against everyone who believes something different from you.

So…since the person you’ve become is someone I’ve grown to hate…do me a favor….go back to your cult…..and drink the punch.

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01-31-05 8:23pm

Jesus [God] Freak... I love that statement cuz its SOO true. I will gladly take that name. My new lifestyle INVOLVES my religion... my religion is the reason for my new lifestyle... But my religion is not the only reason that we are not friends any more.

I believe that I did make a point to the whole Christian religion and Buddhist religion. I was not comparing me, as a person, to their physical beings. Sorry that you are slightly confused.

You dont have to predict Godly things in order to have the vision from God. So, no, I am not a complete idiot. How do I know that God is God? I have already given examples of how I know. My addiction bondages of drinking and smoking pot were broken in a weeks time, I was saved in many attempts of suicide, when I was completely and totally down and out with no reason to live I was given an amazing man, my life has been turned around, and I have felt the presence of the Lord while in worship. Its amazing.
Heres something about the Christian religion and an 'other' religion that proves the realness of God: "Get two bulls for us. Let them choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and set it on the wood but not set fire to it. Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god that answers by fire - he is God." 1Kings 18. The rest of the good news says this: These few hundred men called out to Baal, their god, and danced and started cutting themselves with swords till their blood poured everywhere. Their god never answered by setting their sacrifice to flame. Then Elijah, a servant of the Lord, took his is offering and douced it with water three times and prayed that His name be known in Isreal when these people were serving false gods. God flame came and consumed the bull, the wood, the stone alter, the soil, and all the water.
I know that you will prolly just take this as a story from a book. But when you feel the presence of the Lord you will realize how decieved you are.

Satan "only comes to steal and kill and destroy..." John 10:10. Satan does speak to everyone. It doesnt have to be verbal words all the time. If you do something 'wrong' it sure wasnt God telling you to do it cuz God is of no evil. If it ever is verbal words that you hear, then they demons. And yes, those are real.
Look out into the world. We all know many people whose marriages are on the rocks, whose children are uncontrollable, whose finances are an absolute mess. We see peoples lives that are so hurting and broken and lonely. We se people who are out there looking for some sort of satisfaction or help. But they are looking in all the wrong places. These people are looking to drugs, and money, and sex, and other things... and theyre striving goes on because they are so broken and they need healing from the pain that they have. And that was Jesus's very purpose to come here. He would go and sit with the broken people of this world and heal them... to bring meaning and 'life' to them. He even clearly stated "... I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
Im using thing from the Bible to claim as my own. I really do Love you even though my human-ness tells me to disown you. And yes, God did tell me too also. Its just a passion of mine to Love everyone no matter what. Its not that I am running out of ideas to say to you... whether they are witty or not. There are many mean and evil things that I could say to you. I am using Bible verses because I am hoping to one day open your eyes to what you cant see. I dont find that pathetic in any way.

My cult? I am not involved in a cult! I have never heard of a cult that worships God and reads from the Bible. I think that you are getting cult and church mixed up. I mean, they do both start with a C. Our friendship really doesnt have anything to with your brokenness. One day, I hope, you will realize that its your abusive relationship with Tony, your play on words, your sexual tendencies, or any tendencies that you have with breaking the law.

I was making a point cuz you seemed a little confused on that area. I just figured that if it was layed out so you could understand that you would better know whats going on. So, if you already knew, why did you bring it up? I am sorry that you are filled with such negative thoughts.

I am living the way that God wants me too. Well, as close as I can anyways. That is in no way worshipping paper. And I do know that God didnt write the Bible... HELLO, im religious, i know these things. And there was more than one guy that wrote it and died. It was written more or less for God, by theses men. There is a difference between 'God breathed' and 'written by God'.

Yes, my used to beat me. And yes, my mom used to blow me off. She still copies me with everything and all that stuff. But I know that she loves me. My family doesnt have to be my mom, dad, step mom, step dad, aunts, uncles, cousins. My FAMILY is LuAnn (she loves me), Dad (he loves me), Shadoe (he loves me), Jaeger (he loves me), Mom (she loves me), Casey (she loves me), Becky (she loves me) and Adam (he loves me). Those people are my family and they all love me. My dad changed pretty quickly... and my mom is changing quickly too. I changed from being a Drug, Alcohol and Law breaking fien pretty quickly. Trust me, it is possible to change that fast. You wouldnt know if its fake or not because you have experianced dramatic change in your life for the Good.

Evilness doesnt have to be anything more than us disowbeying our parentals or drinking. Evilness is anything agaisnt God. We were involved in Wicca and Quija. Thats pretty unGodly. Dont get me wrong, we had A LOT OF FUN doing Wicca, Quija, staying out late, Ghost Hunting, drinking, breaking laws, and making out. But that is over for me. I dont need those things to live a happy and funn, satisfied life. I was on prozac cuz of my mood swings around my menstrual period. I wasnt on it for severe depression or anything like that. And if I recall right, you were the one clawing your arms open with keys. And I think that you did something to yourself cuz you couldnt have Dylan. That wasnt me being all "i want attention"like. The only time I cut myself open out there was when I carved an A on my arm and on my ankle and filled them in with ink. I didnt do it cuz I was depressed. I just gave me something to do cuz I was bored and blood fascinated me. I did try to commit suicide, though, a few times after I moved out here. It wasnt me trying to get attention from anyone... I was really quiet about it and kept hidden from people for a little while till my mom found some things and added them together to come up with the conclusion that I was depressed and didnt want to live. She then emitted me to a psych ward this last summer. I am fine now. And I didnt do it cuz it is or was a fad. Thats pretty retarded.
I do realize that a lot of what he had was more than just Best Friends. And I do respect everything good that you have done for me (aka... always being there when my dad was hurting me) and I will keep everything personal to me that you have told me. But its just not the same since all this has happened.

I understand that you want me dead rather than the way I am. A lot of people would just rather have Christians just go off and die. But I am here for a reason and purpose. I wont die until that purpose is fulfilled. This is who I am... the past is just who I used to be. People change. I changed for the good. And Im happy.

How am I acting? I am trying to preach to you. That isnt very cultish sounding. Its more like Pastor sounding. What are you telling these people about me? If you are telling them the absolute truth - That I go to youth group, that I read the Bible, that I worship in songs, That I go to youth conventions, and that I want to go on missions - they would understand fully that I am not in a cult. I am not brainwashed. I am not a psycho weird person. I think that you just think that I am cuz we are so different now. That just cuz I am not who I used to be, then I am some freak. Thats not how it is and I wish that you could understand that.

I didnt say that they died just cuz they worshipped the wrong god. I was bringing up a point. And, yet again, I am so sincerely sorry that you are very confused on some of the issues we are talking about.

Thats right I dont think that I am more holy, or better than one person. There are different levels of religion, if you will. You and I are on two totally different planes. And again, Im sorry that you are confused. If there was a more simple way to put it in, then I would.

I am not failing. I am speaking the word of God. Look at the verses that I have given to you. Look at how long I have been sticking to Sticking Up for God. Im not failing in any way. Its not me thats the reason why you are deciding to not want God. I just think that you are coming to conclusion that you dont want to have to follow all the rules that you think there are to being a strong Christian. I just think that you are getting sick of this and just throwing God out of everything would make life easier for you. But if you throw God away, then you are throwing your life. You need God. Its Vital.

You being so negative is really sad... but I count it all joy that you are being so negative to me cuz I know that it will pay off in the end. There are just so many things that I guess you dont understand.

I am not prejudice. My heart is out to anyone who thinks different than I do. But, yes, in the end... you will be judged. Its your decision whether or not you will go to Hell.

Is this cult thing just an excuse to hate me? Is it a reason to disown me? I still just dont really quite get how you came up with a cult. Please, explain it to me.

I am here to help and heal you in any way possible, erica. I am very sad that you and I have so many differences. But I want you to know that I will always be someone that you can turn to if you ever need anything... even though you despise me more than anything.

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Re:, 01-31-05 11:44pm

The world is an evil place. Humanity is an EVIL race. Anyone who says otherwise is ignorant. Why is religion the most acclaimed savior of the human race, but also one of the largest catylists that has led to generations, upon generations of mass genocide? Half of the known world is christian, to me, if there is a god, hes saying the other half of the world is deemed, unworthy of a spot in heaven. Sounds a lot like Hitler to me. He assumed Germans as the Aryen race, and decided that he had the power to deem others unworthy of life.

I mean, how do you know there wasnt some sort of vile event at the begining of time. Perhaps Satan and God had a show down, perhaps satan is doing all of these 'godly acts' in an act of treason to sentance you to a life time of damnation and an eternity in the pits of hell. Perhaps once you realize that the world, and the race of humans are evil by heart, religion will cease to exisit.

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02-01-05 9:57pm

I have alreayd made my Facts known to you all. I will not sit here anymore and throw my "pearls among hogs so that they can get trampled on."

It is time for me to end this... To be the bigger person. Again, I have spread the good word... So its up to you guys to decide what you want:
A life of Extreme funn in Sin and Impurities... thats leads to eternal Hell
A life of Awesome Movements and Devotion... that leads to everlasting Life with God.

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Re:, 02-01-05 10:17pm

Gods over-rated. My points still stand.

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