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fluttering beats in the dark

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:: 2022 7 September :: 4.25 pm
:: Mood: pensive

When destiny calls you
You must be strong (you gotta be strong)
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

1 night time trust fall | are you reaching out

:: 2022 12 August :: 8.48 am

things are good, real good

yet I can feel the sword of damacles hanging over me

are you reaching out

:: 2022 25 July :: 10.23 am

there has to be something wrong with me

1 night time trust fall | are you reaching out

:: 2022 9 June :: 6.27 pm

having one of those may I please die now days

1 night time trust fall | are you reaching out

:: 2022 24 April :: 9.07 am

major life changes I'm not ready for are my least favorite

but respecting myself is more important to me than being loved, shy of 7 years I had to let you go.

I love you, the feelings don't just disappear. being sons you make me feel like I used to, but at the same time everything we have gone through leaves a disgusting bitter taste in my mouth.

I believe in you. all I have ever wanted is to see you succeed and take the life you deserve. but I started enabling the bad habits with no recourse. no one is innocent in the situation.

not how I wanted to spend my birthday, 4/20, or our anniversary. and soon you'll be back in the tricities and I won't have the option of just driving down and seeing you.

why do things have to come to this every time..? four long term relationships crashing and burning. each one gets worse and worse. every time I come back stronger, but a piece of my heart also rots away.

I'm just ready for something to be easy

are you reaching out | Random Journal