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nothing they said can save you

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:: 2014 27 November :: 9.54 am

I dreamt about my grandpa last night...

i miss him so much..

can you see me?

:: 2014 24 November :: 4.53 pm

you start a band and suddenly everyone wants to join!

auditioning zoe and myself as lead singer (zoe will probably win hahaha)

i am up to 3 chords now! D A and E!! I'm feeling pretty awesome! My fingers are getting tougher. Soon I will be LORD OF THE AX!!

I'm just psyched that this is really happening. it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. and to not smoke so much when i get home.

i am so jazzed.

can you see me?

:: 2014 20 November :: 5.29 am

Does it make you nervous
When you hear my bones
Animate my body
Without my soul?

I swear every time I listen to silversun pick ups I fall even more in love with them.

can you see me?

:: 2014 19 November :: 5.01 pm

I bet I could teach jackie chan a thing or two.....

can you see me?

:: 2014 18 November :: 9.12 pm

today has been quite a roller coaster

2 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 16 November :: 10.57 am

GWAR has been hands down my favorite concert I've ever been to.

and now the fire in me to start a band has grown to a raging inferno.


can you see me?

:: 2014 13 November :: 9.29 am

my growing pains are always from growing apart.

I don't even know what to do. should I do anything? when is it right to fight for something and when isn't it?

I suppose these answers are all inside me. I just need to try and find them.

can you see me?

:: 2014 12 November :: 7.33 am

sometimes you just need a reminder that there are still racist fucks in the world.

damn that guy was fucking creepy.

1 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 7 November :: 9.57 pm

God I'm fucking lame.

2 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 6 November :: 6.31 am

we got processing the Sus saga.

I wear a lot of my emotions on my sleeve, but the feelings that Sus envokes are much more private. I'm not sure why I can only cry about it when I'm alone. I'm not sure why I need to put on a brave face.

the final section we will process is me, 24 to current. not a whole lot in the past two years. hopefully we'll be done soon :) haha yea right

can you see me?

:: 2014 4 November :: 11.09 am

i cannot wait until i'm done with college.

these fuck faces are trying to say i plagiarized a paper. i would never do something like that. EVER.

so i call my academic adviser and he says that it's probably that i didn't cite something properly. i have been writing papers and turning them into these stupid fucking robots for two years and have never once had an issue with this. i know how fucking APA guidelines work. I know how to properly cite my sources.

fuck you, ashford university. fuck you constellation. fuck you turn it in. fuck you grand canyon university. fuck online schools. fuck plagiarizing assfucks that made this all possible.

fuck "higher" education. what a fucking joke.

2 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 3 November :: 2.33 pm

I'd have to say the party was a success, most people canceled, but the ones who came were the most important anyway <3 and I didn't even want a big party, so I got my wish without having to cancel.

i wanna say more, but I don't really want to type right meow, so.. more to come later!

can you see me?

:: 2014 30 October :: 9.38 pm

I just want to be held and told it'll all be okay.

I feel so alone. and disgusting.

2 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 28 October :: 8.02 pm

sometimes everything just feels so blah, you find yourself in bed at 730, texting people who are not on the same page as you, feeling bleh about them.

it's just so much bleh, blah, meh, eh... who cares?

19 credits left at school. work is slowing down (I'm almost catch up). ospe time is soon. so not into that this year.

this weekend needs to be over right stay now

1 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 25 October :: 6.34 pm

I really miss drugs

can you see me? | Random Journal