friends | profile | guestbook

fluttering beats in the dark

recent entries | past entries

:: 2017 16 January :: 6.22 pm

the KI project im doing at work has me feeling invigorated. it is extremely validating and i feel extremely excited at the prospect of the monetary rewards for saving the company some money in the long term. but most importantly i'm lookin forward to improving the quality of work life. if people were less frustrated with the process i believe they will start working with a higher quality.

or at least my life will be less painful because it will be harder to mess things up because there won't be 2,098,394 places in the transaction to mess it up.

unfortunately, i also have jury duty starting tomorrow. i do not want to get picked. 2 weeks ago i would have loved to have been selected and go thru the whole process, but now i find it much more valueable to be at work and working towards this 30 day deadline.

it helps that the klapper guy is so encouraging. i feel safe to try and be stupid and mess things up, because a boss figure said it was okay. and he's not one of us. which makes me feel like i can trust him.

i have never been happier at work than i am right now. i feel that my skills are finally being valued appropriately and this is my opportunity to finally shine. my year review was better than last years, and i am optimistic this year will be even better. while my life is virtually reduced to a set of numbers, with this new opportunity i almost feel like more than a number.

i fucking love being more than a number.

are you reaching out

:: 2017 12 January :: 11.00 pm

why is coheed & cambria so fucking cool?

and god damn i would love a bite of claudio'a hair mmmm hmmmm

are you reaching out

:: 2017 11 January :: 8.28 pm

sooooooooo not looking forward to tomorrow.

meeting a new doctor who will hopefully help with fmla. i fucking hate doctors. they make me feel so many deep dark emotions

my year performance review happens too. that's going to be completely wretched.

adulting fucking sucks.

are you reaching out

:: 2017 8 January :: 7.31 am

sometimes i think i'd love to live in seattle again. i'd be able to go to the zoo or the science center whenever i want. i could maybe make some friends and explore the city.

and then i think about the earthquakes and the traffic and i talk myself out of it. spokane isn't so bad is it. or is it.

i just don't know how to decide what to do with my future. for how valueable i am, my current employer undervalues me. is it worth trying to find something better.

or are my job stoppers really going to stop me from getting a job.

are you reaching out

:: 2017 4 January :: 11.14 pm

and it really feels suffocating room filling with water barely hanging on

are you reaching out | Random Journal