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nothing they said can save you

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:: 2014 17 December :: 6.57 am

I feel like shit today. like that feeling were you are right on the edge of nausea.

I just want to go home a cuddle with my puppies.

can you see me?

:: 2014 13 December :: 8.19 am

we have to call in some heart investigative team

can you see me?

:: 2014 12 December :: 6.22 pm

today was an extremely (emotionally) shitty fucking day.

can you see me?

:: 2014 12 December :: 1.12 pm
:: Music: the bravery

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for

can you see me?

:: 2014 9 December :: 7.26 pm

I want to know what you're thinkin

can you see me?

:: 2014 4 December :: 11.28 pm

this week has been pretty dang fun!!

went out with lala!! gotta see Alexz and help her pick out an awesome fish!! met an online friend I've known for a year and jammed out!!

definitely decided jam session are for me. fuck yeah. my fingers hurt.

1 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 29 November :: 1.27 pm

I wish I was an extrovert

can you see me?

:: 2014 28 November :: 7.41 am
:: Mood: enraged

what is it about thanksgiving that makes every ass hole I ever slept with and admitted feeling for feel the need to try and contact me again?

please, call me a cunt for not sleeping with you. I really, really love that. especially when you choose to do this at 2 AM after calling me while I'm still drunk from my family celebration. that is the quickest way into my pooter don't ya know?

now, this aside, I reeeeeeally want revenge. I really want to inflict some pain somehow. but I'm not sure how I would accomplish it. I'm just a fat warm hole for which pleasure can be derived, just like a million other stupid girls out there. I have no real power in the situation, and unfortunately I'm not entirely sure how to generate power at this stage in the game.

what I really need is a mentor. a man eater who is accomplished and has her skills honed to a fine and deadly point.

but where do you find them?

2 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 27 November :: 9.54 am

I dreamt about my grandpa last night...

i miss him so much..

can you see me?

:: 2014 24 November :: 4.53 pm

you start a band and suddenly everyone wants to join!

auditioning zoe and myself as lead singer (zoe will probably win hahaha)

i am up to 3 chords now! D A and E!! I'm feeling pretty awesome! My fingers are getting tougher. Soon I will be LORD OF THE AX!!

I'm just psyched that this is really happening. it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. and to not smoke so much when i get home.

i am so jazzed.

can you see me?

:: 2014 20 November :: 5.29 am

Does it make you nervous
When you hear my bones
Animate my body
Without my soul?

I swear every time I listen to silversun pick ups I fall even more in love with them.

can you see me?

:: 2014 19 November :: 5.01 pm

I bet I could teach jackie chan a thing or two.....

can you see me?

:: 2014 18 November :: 9.12 pm

today has been quite a roller coaster

2 can... | can you see me?

:: 2014 16 November :: 10.57 am

GWAR has been hands down my favorite concert I've ever been to.

and now the fire in me to start a band has grown to a raging inferno.


can you see me?

:: 2014 13 November :: 9.29 am

my growing pains are always from growing apart.

I don't even know what to do. should I do anything? when is it right to fight for something and when isn't it?

I suppose these answers are all inside me. I just need to try and find them.

can you see me? | Random Journal