TuRkEY DaI IsH tEwMaRrOw!~
Hello there mai fellow human being..unless you uhm...arent a human being....anywayz, yeah yeah props eener props...movin right along...im so freeking bored right now and i wanner talk to hen...shes on..i could im her if i want but right now im just hoping that i can get through this journal entry and have her still beh on by the time i finish with it...oh well shell im ME right? hmm maybeh...anyway some spiffy web quizies and crap are gonna beh on here....and like...yeah! tomarrows turkey day and mah henny pie ish acomin dwn at like 9 30 in de morning tomarrow! like whoa! ill make her cook with me ! fun fun fun at 9 30 in de morning! lol jp hen..i would NEVER do that to you...(morning comes and i have erin slaving away in the kitchen)...::pops self out of little dream bubble:: ....uhm yeah..i feel like talking to zane now for some reason...but i want mai jason in person...oh em gee oh eh gee! the bloody note ivan! LMAO......hey guess who called meh a little while ago and said that he was safe at home in his beddy bed bed! my mikey mike mike! poor baby, he deserves it after all this crap that he has bin through =( ....omg im so glad that theres no school tomarrow or the next day bcuz im really starting to hate it like whoa!!! the only reason aiy enjoy going is to see mah jason! who eener despises for numerous reasons..none of which i actually agree with tho,lolz.....oh wells hes a cutie and hes sweet and funny even tho i think that hes way too cocky..lol...buh thats just mai opinion..wellz imma paste dem things in here soz im out! peacers! ooo yeah..im faith,...thats so frecking awesome bcuz shes mah favorite actress in awl de land! hehe...and the BEST buffy character ever!!! besides spike of course =P hehe bcuz hes just hott, anywayz,....byea! -Stephie
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Dum diddy-dee tra la la loppilous!!!
Hey thurr all you sekzi people lookin at mah journal! Yeah you know you want it dont try to fight it! wells nuthin much is goin on here..im juss talkin to mah buhdees sharleen and kaneisha and im well aware that most likely i spelt k's name wrong so im gonna play it safe and get off of that topic..so anywayz...hi! yeah! k! uhm....i rehelly dont know what to say...i want mi jason...hes so cute and sweet and everything else that makez hym purrfect! movin right along again....i havnt talked to mah henny all night....i called her house buh her step bro sed dat she wasnt home..hmMmMm selling me out eh henny!>!>>! eh!??!??! yeah you best not...buh yer prolly out with your NEW friends!!! ::crosses arms and walks away:: nah im juss playin wiff youssa ::glares at you and changes subject:: ..renee! hi renee! whats up renee! you know i COULD im you if i wanted to buh im way too damn lazy to make this ga-hettoh mouse work its way over to your mname on mi buhdee list soz aiy gesh dat plan ish no more...eventually aiy shall im you tho...aiy shall..oh aiy shall...."and they cheer...o how they cheer" hehe.......sharleens confusing meh...her questions are way too smart foh mah tai ni mentality!!! im just a tai ni woman!!! ::twitches:: wellz uhm..aiy rehelly cant think of anything else productive to say seeing as the only reazon dat aiy am updatin thys thing is that aiy havnt dun it since mah super spazzy entry. heh .soz uhm imma go!!! take care now bye bye then ppl! .... ... no wait!!! frea!!!!! ::pulls you back into my journal:: i got it!!! you know what!! jamie spears pisses me off so freaking bad! i was watching all that on nick and like oh em gee it just came to meh how much damn money her parents are makin off of her when she isnt even funny at all whatsoever and she cant freaking dance!!! she just looks around at the rest of the cast and then TRIES (note how i stress that word) to mock them..you guys have no idea how badly aiy wanted to jump through de television and beat her scrawny ass down!! wellz ok...aiy think that NOW im done...so with all of that sed...vote for me foh mayor.....-Stephie-

im freezing my @$$ off.
cmere people!!!!!!!!!! muahahaha hello there.....so uhm yeah..hi! hey guess what everybody! im freeking bored az hell! yup thats right...juss got finished playing grand theft auto vice city....which by the way..is the best game ever to beh tha best game in all oof tha land!..yeah thats right...so anyway....im on aol instant messenger right now buh like nobuhdee is on cept erick and this girl who i met in a chatroom and shes pretty fancy...mah hed hurts so freeking bad you guys have no idea...and omg omg omg omg since i havnt updated this in a day or so you guys have totally no idea at all whatsoever that mike isnt moving anymore! yeah not that any of you people that dont know meh actually care but whoo hoo!!! i dont think ive been this happy in a long time!! i didnt exactly hear why buh im pretty sure that it had something to do with the job that ,his dad was going to accept up there. ::happpy dance:: buh not really acuz thats awl retarded.....ok moving right along b4 i pee mah pants! lol....uhm renee i left you a reply to the comment that you left in mah journal entry before this one....and geuss what erin...you need to come online because im bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored like whoa! and im rehelly freeking hyper right nows also soz like yeah! i also feel like talking to zane for some reason..i guess we havnt rehelly gotten tha chance to have a decent conversation or hang out in a while which really sux dem beeg bawls like whoa....aiy think that he ish already home from his dads place soz aiy darno, well see what happens. mah mom ish out at lunch with emilee and my moms friend eva and her two little kids soz like aiy ish awl alone alone alone and very very bored!!!! i swear im going completely insane...i think im gonna go work on my story for a while after im done writing this entry in here, yup yup yupz! and then maybe ill have some more vice city time ::drools:: hehe. hmm lemme c...oooooooooooo aiy git ta go bak to school tomarrow and ~C~ jason...hehe...i missed him so much this weekend soz if aiy completely jump on him when aiy git in 4th hour tomarrow....iss nawt mah fault, heh. doods...im sooooo in love with the new good charlotte album..if you dont have it then you should get it..now...quick run! ::smax your @$$:: faster biatch!!!!! ahahahahaha.....neways....aiy rehelly dont have anything else too productive to say in here soz im thinkin that aiy should juss put some GC lyrics in here and fly.....yeah i think thats what aiy shall do. g2 fly! peacers pplz! -Stephie
"Hold On"-Good Charlotte
~This world, this world is cold. But you dont, you dont have to go. Youre feeling sad youre feeling lonely and no one seems to care. Your mothers gone and your father hits you this pain you cannot bbare. But we all bleed the same way as you do. And we all have the same things to go through. Hold on....If you feel liek letting go. Hold on...it gets better than you know. Your days you say theyre way too long. And your nights you cant sleep at all. And youre not sure what youre looking for but you dont want to no more. But we all bleed the same way as you do. And we all have the same things to go through. Hold on..if you feel like letting go. Hold on...it gets better than you know.Dont stop looking youre one step closer. Dont stop searching its not over...Hold on. What are you looking for? What are you waiting for? Do you know what youre doing to me? Go ahead..What are you waiting for? Hold on...if you feel like letting go. Hold on..it gets better than you know. Dont stop looking youre one step closer. Dont stop searching its not over...Hold on...Hold on.~

BiG SiGh LyK WhOa~*
Hi people. Well nothing much happened today..i stayed home from school today for undisclosed reasons..but not really because im sure that if you are actually a friend of mine ill have no problem explaining to you why i was absent so scratch that comment up there...well mikes moving. i guess they say that things happen for a reason and i guess that this is when i have to be strong and understand that..keeping in mind that its ok to move on..that i can live without him in mah life and that when i think about it..maybe just maybe, its not that bad..well screw that idea. i cant believe he knew all this time and he didnt even think of telling me...ok maybe he thought about tellling me but dernit why tha hell didnt he?! i deserve to know just as much as the next person and im starting to think that if he had just been straight with me from the beginning about him moving all tha way to friggin tampa, then maybe it wouldnt beh hurtin meh as bad as it is now that i found out that hes been hiding it frum me foh some tyme now. it still bums me out though bebcause this entire situation is just as messed up as it could ever get and neither one of us are getting anywhere..i just wish that things didnt have to end this way. maybe this is some sick and twisted sign saying that he was gonna beh taken away sooner or later...either way i look at it i cant make heads or tails about why it makes any sense or how im supposed to just accept it like this....i cant stay on that subject without getting extrremely upset so i wont...moving right along...i geuss when i pass up that whole subject theres really nothing much at all left to talk about what happened today....pretty boring..talked to zane online bbecause it seems that he decided to stay home too..only he was sick...poor zany....anyway,some crap is goin on with eener but she refuses to like...actually tell me and hen about it so whats the use of feeling bad about what shes going through for her? answer: there is none...i have my own things to worry about and as rude as that may sound..too bad. bcuz you cant help what you dont know about and thats just a fact. i cant sit back and be the supportive friend that she probably wants me to be when the fact of the matter is that i dont even know whats going on..drop that too movin along yet AGAIN....i wanna do somethin with erin this weekend seein as i dont have school on next monday bein that its a holiday and whatnot buh since tomarrows friday i think its a little too short notice....i would go down there and all but i have babysitting duty this weekend....so i might beh able to convince my mom on short notice that maybe its possible she could come down here and maybe mai dad could being her back down....probably not going to happen bcuz like i mentioned 2 other tymes..short notice much...::sigh:: ...so basicly this weekend is just going to be long and boring...nothing else to it....im talking to kathy right now but i wouldnt really consider it talking so much to say that we havnt typed anything to eachother in like the past 7 minutes...so uhm..yeah ok w.e...mah hand hurts and i g2g so ill make another entry in this thing whenever i feel like it...go henny for updating her journal...bye fockers. -Stephanie

~~~~~
Lyrics to my deppressing freeking song that reminds me of mikey
~~~~~
"Meet You There"-Simple Plan
Now youre gone
I wonder why you left me here
I think about it on and on again
I know youre never coming back
But I hope that you can hear me
Im waiting to hear from you
Until I do

Youre gone away
I'm left alone
A part of me is gone
And Im not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come

Ill meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
Ill meet you there
And even if I need you here
Ill meet you there

I wish I could have told you
The words I kept inside
But now I guess its just too late
So many things remind me of you
I hope that you can hear me
I miss you
This is goodbye
One last time
And where I go youll be there with me
Forever youll be right here with me

Ill meet you there
No matter where life takes me
Ill meet you there
And even if I need you
Ill meet you there

WoOoOoHoOoO
ello chillinz....vat eesh oop? newthyn mucho here, juss chyllin...ashley and sam are in mah rewm playin super nintendo...old yes i know..buh like thats ok acuz those games are still cool beans homie g dog! wowzerz so eener and jamie are back together? aint that just special...yes yes ok moving on...like halloween was pritty mellow foh meh this year...i didnt rehelly do that much buh today aiy went to 711 with ashley and samantha and mah hoochified shorts kept ridin up mah bum and sam was like..uhm stef..i see the bottem of your "cheeks" so i was like..nooooooo ::pulls shorts down::...it didnt rehelly work that much thoughz,lol..oh well....hmph aiy rehelly dont know what else to write essept dat slurpees are sooooo freeking awesome! yep yep, tyz true..omg ashley juss scared tha crap out oof meh..::slaps her::....how dare she sneak up behind meh like that!?!? evil chyld..::glares at her and watches her exit the room::...you know what? ...i luv Jason...you know why? cuz hes like a freekin hawtie and hes soooo sweet. hehe. steam roller!!!....thats an inside joke soz like if you people didnt have any freeking clue what that was about....your just doing your job...k wellz like..i have newthyng else to sai soz uhm...l8a!!! -Stephie

Hey peoplez~*
"Well i cant regret
Cant you just forget it it?
I started something i couldnt finish
And if we go down, we go down together
Best friends means,well best friends means
And ive got a twenty-dollar bill
That says your up late night starting
Fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
From friends who never loved you
Nearly half as much as me
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All i did was what i had to
Dont believe me when i tell you
Its just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Dont believe me when I tell you
Its something unforgivable
Well i cant regret
Cant you just forget it?
I started something i couldnt finish
If we go down, we go down together
Best friends means, well best friends means
You never knew
Well I never told you
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, its true
Ive never done it with the style and grace you have
But ive made long term plans
Based on those mistakes
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
Alll i did was what i had to
Dont believe me,when i tell you
Its just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Dont believe me, when i tell you
Its something unforgivable
Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let's end this call,
And end this converstaion
Theres nothing worse
I swear you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
That you always had it way too easy
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All i did was what i had to
Dont believe me, when i tell you
It's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Dont believe me, when I tell you
It's something unforgivable
Best friends means i pull the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pull the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve.."~"There's no "I" in team"-Taking Back Sunday~


i dunno..i juss put the lyrics in here bcuz i love this song so uhm..yeah...enjoy..if youve heard it b4 you know what i mean obviously soz peacers! -Stephie-

"Gooood morning! Life is beautiful!::flaps arms::"-Dane Cook

Take the What Type of Friend are
You? quiz, and visit mutedfaith.com.
[Me.]

HeYlOoOoOoOoOo
Wellz heller thurr peoples. im so bored right nows..mai sister and mah mum r out so here aiy sit..alone..alone...alone..which is basicly how i like it...most of the time. =P Dude..i dont get this whole love thing. its just crazy. aiy mean...like just yesterday i wanted to break up with the the boy and now its like...hes making me like him more and more. is there something wrong with meh>? oof. im not sures. its juss weird,you knows. i gesh hes good foh mehs in a way bcuz hes kind of shy wen it comes right down to it but im not in that sense...so i can for once, be tha purrson whos all..you know...w.e i dunno if im making any sense but i am to meh..go figger.so far almost everybuhdee around meh is having problems with their relationships that they ish involved in soz foh once im NOT the only one. muahaha...come to think about it, i dont even think that mine is going that bad at all..maybe a little slow pace but like, thatd beh it practically...hmph im watchin buffy tha vampire slayer right now...kewl beanz oof a show i trell yenz. kew kew kew. old episode thoughs soz like..yeah whatever. im soOooo freeking tired..i still havnt rehelly worked things out with zane so at this point im not exactly sure where we stand in this sick twisted little relationship "thing" that we have goin on between us. but i dont think that itll amount to anything serious. hes got a new interest and i cant say that im not happy foh him but at tha same time i guess im just a little..sad..i guess. but i think that thats pritty normal seein as well, weve been through alot and still manage to talk to eachother on some kind of friend basis...i mean we tell eachother that we love eachother and shyznyt..so that has ta beh good. i guess somewhere deep down, hes never gonna go away. i can try to forget him, block him out, and tell myself that i dunt luv him and stuff..but i dunno..its kinda hard to fool yourself with something like that. it ust to drive meh crazyy but i guess that now im okay with it. that might sound kind of weird lookin back on all oof tha shyt that hes put meh through in tha past..but i guess it was actualyl kind of good foh meh to get that experience of gettin hurt and movin on bcuz relationships tend to get more serious as you get older and i suppose getting hurt in some of them is just part of the sick little dating process, its just life in other words. sometimes i just wissh that i could take a part out of my day, look at it, and say, this is not my life...thanks robin williams..lol....but yeah thats true..bcuz if i didnt go through half of the things that ive been through in life...i just wouldnt be the person that i am today...which sometimes i think wouldnt beh that bad but when it all comes down to it, we all go through things in life to learn from it so that it doesnt happen again. and you always come out of a situation with more knowlage then you did the last time, you ever notice that? hmph...as eener would say..."preach on steph" lol...::waves to eenerbeans:: hi eenerbeans. hmph aiy juss noticed how long this entry is going to beh..well whooptydoo. guess what all you peple..today was so freeking awesome..i got to act like a total psycopathic fruit cake in 5th and 6th hour and this kid nathan (smeeeeeeeeaton, lmao erin)...well anyway...he asked the sub if he could go to the bathroom to fix his contact bcuz it was annoying him and junk, and so tha sub let him go. well as soon as nathan opened the classroom door to leave and go to the bathroom, some scary people from down at the other end oof tha hallway screamed rehelly high pitched and nathan kinda like jumped and spun backwards flailing his arms..i dont think ive laffed that hard in a long tyme lol. thanks nathan wherever you are. hehe. i swear man, this kid peter and this other kid matt (who likes meh, icky icky icky) ...were like "omg stephanie your face is like sooo red" well you know why that sucked? bcuz whenever people say that to meh, mah face like automatically turns even redder then it was before..yeah thats why that sux. ::kills them both and runs away:: ...mah buhdee kaplan got expelled for carrying drugs for this other kid robert...it sux pritty dern bad bcuz that kid was like..the life of mah 4th hour klass...besides Jason of course, hehez. bbuh seriously...that rehelly sux.. i know that hes also on drugs too..just bcuz the way that he always acts and like sings in the back of the classroom but styll...that rehelly sux. about robert tho..thats kinda sad acuz here ive known dysh kid since like...tha 1st grade and he had to go and beh stoopid too. tsk tsk to tha both of them. poor kaplan though. oh wells dey ish both crackheads in mah book nows. muahahahhahaa okay im too evil soz movin on...i just found out that mah friend greg is bisexual and to no surprise whooptidoo, mah friend marrissa sed that robert is too..thats pretty weird seein as like..aiy mahself thought that robert was so anti gay and crap. oh wells i guess life comes along every once in a while and surprises you..or in this case..scares you,lol.hmph..wellz anyways i rehelly have like nothing else to say except that taproot is coming to town soon and omg i wanna go so bad but if i git mah mum to lemme go..shes gunna subtract the money foh tha ticket from mah $200 im gittin foh christmas...and i dunno if i rehelly wanna do that or if id rather spend tha money on cds and clothing shopping...hmmm...decisions decisions decisions..wellz anywayz...g2g i think ive made dys entry long enough and if it isnt at LEAST mah 2nd longest entry that ive ever made in this little journal thingy..ill cry..buh nawt rehelly acuz thatd beh like...gay..ok wells byea! -Stephie

EeEekerz~! ! !
"Overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins in an hour i'll be okay i pray this pain will go away permanantly some day.
I'VE seen more than
I should have to
I'VE seen this on my own
This song is a,
Poem to myself
It helps me to live..
In case of fire,
BREAK the glass and move on into your own...
reoccuring drowning effect entrenching my brain,I hope you'll be ok some day, so i can say that you moved on in the right way
WE'VE seen this and
WE'VE breathed this and
WE'VE lived this on our own
this song is a,
poem to myself,
it helps me to live...
in case of fire,
BREAK the glass,
and move on into your own...
your own...

BREAK...

this song is a,
poem to myself,
it helps me to live...
in case of fire,
BREAK the glass,
and move on into your own...
~~~
Hello thurr ppls. ughness mucho. aiy didnt go tew skewl tewdays acuz wellz..in technical terms...I "shattered a piece of my hip bone" yup yup. painfulness much ::holds hip and squeels:: so aiy figgered aiy might as well go on here and whine about it..seein as aiy do that often. hehez. im so super hyped tho in a way acuz like..im goin to mah hennypies this weekened!!!!! Ive bin SUPPOSED to go over there for like tha past 4 weekeneds now but left and right ive bin havin to babysit or mah dads job called him or whatever so he couldnt pick meh up. which messed up meh and erinz planz every single tyme. so here is it.....eagerly awaiting mai friendz to come home from school so that aiy kan explain to them why i didnt go. Oiy i think renees finna beh teed off at meh for nawt bein able to go to her house this weekend and sleep over but i guess ill just have to explain to her that me and erin have had plans for me to go down there for the past 4 weeks or so now....unless she sees this entry first..in which then i suppose everything will work out ok and be peachy...SoOoOoZ moving right along.....i want the new taproot cd "welcome" so uhm..yeah christmas is rolling around for all you ppl who swear that you are REALLY my friends >:} hehe.....they got this really cool thing going on at amazon.com where like..i could buy the taproot cd and git the chevelle cd with it and it would only cost 21.97...and then i could also get the simple plan cd and the new good charlotte cd for 21.97 also....this is so great i g2 go and convince mah mum to git meh them rnrnnrnrnrnnrnrnnrnr . . .. . . soz uhm ya aiy suppose dat behs it. its bin fun..buh nawt rehelli....g2 bounce ! l8az! -Stephie

boo
Hello all you bumz out there. ugh ive been avoiding writing in this stupid thing for quite some time now but a friend informed me that i should write in it again. So here i am. Not really much to say i guess but then again..i always say that at first and then later on i find a way to come up with 50 million different things to talk about. Its amazing. Right now im talkin to Zane and more and more each days hes beginning to sound like he hates me. All I can think is what did I do? im not exactly sure..and althought most of my friends are like "oh just get over it and stop feeling bad for yourself"...ya well is that what it really is? Me just being annoying. Complaining that life sux once again...it gets me so pi$$ed off when people try to step into your lives and take control when the fact of the matter is simply that they dont know whats going on inside of your head. ..you know what i hate? when people are dishonest. they walk around like nothings wrong and that you did nothing to them. but then they go and treat you like crap and you have no idea what to do or say to them because they swear up and down that you did nothing wrong..only..thats not the case. ugh. i hate it so much. but anyway...i went to a party last night..whoo hoo...did some crazy stuff and well..case closed...got home this morning around 11 or so and went to mah room...listened to sugarcult for a while..got bummed out and came in here.exciting isnt it? i dont understand why im constantly writing in this thing when like nobody posts back in it anyway. w.e bye

Thys is.....Renee
Yup. Thys is the o smecial more importent den n e buhdee else, Renee. I'm very bored, so that is y IYM wrytin in thys. ~*Wavez @ tha purrson readin thys*~ also ~*Waves @ stef who tripped on the sidewalk whyl walkin home on fridai*~ lolol~!~ looferbeanz~!~ Well yah. The me must go, I know yu shall miss me, buh iy must. Goodbye.
Renee
Eener
Eenerbeanz
Cricket
Bitch
Reneer
Reee~neee
zippy chicken honey
~N~ n e thyn else bsidez avis~!~
hehe.

BoReD BoReD BoReD BoReD BoReD....Im BoReD
Hey pplz whazz oop? oof.I ish so feeking bored right nowz. yes yes i kno i havnt wrote in here in a while buh ive bin bizzy..that and ive bin avoiding it. nothings really new here...cept im pi$$ed off that my dad screwed me over this weekend so i can no longer go to erins house lyk we had planned. i cant exactly say thats the first time something like this has happened tho.but anyway, henz mum dropped her off at my place friday afternoon when eener was over mai house...shortly there after, eener went home, and me and erin hung out at mah house in mah room and stuff, watched tv, went to home depot, win dixie, (pepzi bloo MMM ::makes "nasty tasting" face::) lmao hen...then lyk we came bak to mah house and went in da jacuzzi thingy for a while b4 we watched a movie and went to sleep. then this morning around 11 or so her mom came by again and picked her up. so now im just sitting around doing nothing, talking to ivan..i was talking to eener but then she "ended" the conversation because it really wasnt going anywhere..whatever that is supposed to mean..i dont talk alot when im in a bad mood..so for future reference..get ust to it.....im gonna go make cookies and shyt in a couple minutes soz ill end this entry...pe@ce out *~Stephie~*

AiY FeEl SoOoO KaRaPpY
Heller pplz. i rehelly didnt feel lyk makin an entry right now but i dont think ive made one for tha past 3 days now so then again, itz about time i do. uhm letz ~C~....tha zane walked home with meh yesterday and he came over for a while along with ashley and samantha who left shortly after...then he stayed at mah place tyl around 8-830ish, we had dinner and me and mah datty took hym home. kewlness.~~ And tewday nothing rehelly happened...aiy woke up..babysat and then came online...soz like thurrs nothing rehelly interesting for me to say about that. aiy kant wait tyl halloween bcuz fer wun thyng...itz lyk mah fav holiday ever ever ever in all da land and uhm fer tew...aiy gots sum pritty fancy planz 4 eet. hehe. ~~I havnt written any new poems in a while bcuz besides the pms i havnt really had any major anger or depression....i dunno if thats good or bad,...i gesh it really depends on whether or not you like the stuff that i write. hmmph.~~Wells thats it for today pplz maybeh ill write in here again l8er or w/e..well not really write but uhm..yeah you know. l8er pplz. xo !byea! xo -Stephie.........aka Crusty Gigglechunks. lmao...hehe, wellz byea.

ladee feeking dee
Eller pplz vat eesh oop? tra la la today wash soOooO boring in skewl tewdays. again tha zane dint show up soz 1st hour was boring..plus i havnt heard from him since last friday soz im kinda worried..i hope hes not sick or something..which is probably tha case..buh anyways...i found out that yesterday in 5th hour i typed out those freeking essays for no freeking reason @ all whatsoeevr acuz mah stewpid teacher ms coletti dint even collect them or do anything else involving them!! so instead i just sat all day in class and wrote notes..one to alex and one to mike...i guesh thats why im feeling "uncomfortable" righ now..im contemplating on whether i should give tha note to mike..if its for tha best or not...sum pplz say eet ish buh others say that i should wait and just see how things go. im not rehelly sure what imma do at this point n tyme thos. ...then after skewlies i went to an FEA meeting with renee and got stuck selling freeking candy bars!!! ::kills renee:: ugh..im lyk never ever going again after i git mah money in from tha candy..buh she wont kno dat until she sees thys entry...so shhhsh...muahhahaa...::cough cough:: moving rite along pplz...lyk whoaz uhm i forgot what i was going to type...oh yeah! drr im so stupid..lyk uhm i ALSO just figgered out from mah lil buhdee chris that there ish no school tha day after halloween!!!! yippi!!! ::jumps around tha house 348638956348956 times::!!! that ish so cool bcuz lyk...den i can basicly stay out as long as aiy kan and stuff!! dat ish cool beans. aiy styll dont know exactly what im agunna do foh halloween yet acuz lyk..imma big loser lyk that but uhm...yeah i think i have mah plans a lil straight acuz aiy talked tew one oof mah buds a while back...lyk friday...and uhm...if all goes well then uhm..yeah..those shall beh mah plans.....alsoz...aiy wrote another poem tha other day but im not agunna put it in here acuz lyk..in my opinion its personal...soz uhm yeah sry losers youll just hafta deal without it for a day ::silence:: ...ok shuddup i hate you all!!! ::cries and runs away::....but not really..cuz lyk...im not a loser! bwahahaha ::chokes:: uhms..ivan aiy hay chew! you all jason man...kill kill kill!!! what was it that jason sed? "stop tha bad man" ? or "make tha bad man stop"? aiy darno i kant remember but that was tha funniest thing aiy heard tha whole day tewday. so coolness mucho props to you jason...props to you. wellz thats enuff of you guys im sick oof you all! go away!!! be gone!! swaaa!!! xo !byea! xo -Stephie

bOoOfOoOMoOoOChOoO
Dude im lyk so feeking bored!!!!!! Lyk aiy ish talking tew mah buhdee Kathy, and hen juss signed off. Gesh vat pplz! Tewday in skewl eet was soooooo boring lyk whoa!!! aiy had a sub in mah 2nd hour and 5th hour and lyk tha sub in 5th hour was rehelly nice actually for once..lolz..buh lyk mah mean regular teacher ms coletti left us 2 essays to do. buh since they wuz lyk...supposed ta beh all typed up on tha computer and im lyk "miss typy" it was rehelly no biggy foh meh. meh and renee have to fynd another way tew transport notes to eachother nows acuz nikki ikki has switched classes on tha eener soz theres lyk no way foh meh tew git notes frum eener bfoh mah lunch hour after 4th hour. oh wells well work sumthyn out im sure oof eet. mah 3rd hour was rehelly funny tho with greg tha giant intimidating person that he ish..buh lyk he ish rehelly funny n stoo foo..we wuz dewin a group project and all the other groups had a dog in their picture that they drew so b4 class ended mah friend farie had tew go in and draw a feeking dog in our picture just to please greg bcuz he sat there complaining...lyk all ::points to other group:: "look!!!! loook!!!! wtf is that huh!?!/ even THEY have a dog!!" it was soo hilarious, buh aiy gesh you had ta be thurr or sumthyn in order tew understand just how funny it actually was.5th hour was boring acuz mah buhdee nathan was absent today....soz lyk uhm..yea..and mikey was annoying meh!!! stupid little mouse boy!!! ugh i wanna switch out of that class into peer counceling sooo bad buh mah stewpid guidence person wont lemme!! greeeedy biatch!! oh wells..movin rite along..OOooo gesh who ELSE dint show up in skewl today and styll has yet to come online and lemme pester him about bein out....zane! ...that rehelly made 1st hour boring too dudes..acuz wellz...aiy never really talk to him in 1st hour acuz he sits all tha way back thurr ::points behind self:: buh lyk...i dunno its just nice to have heem around. hmphness. knowing mai luck he wont beh online any tyme soon tho..aiy hope he ishnt sick or nuffin....newayz...mike hash bin actin rehelly weird lately,lyk whoa..aiy darno vat eet ish buh uhm..he has issues..im not gonna talk about him and hyz problems tho acuz aiy doubt hed appreciate that veddy mucho...soz w/e.....uhmz...lyk i have another poem to put in this entry buh lyk bb4 aiy do that...just to let all you ppl kno that i am not trying to get you guys to lyk feel bad foh meh when i write poems and krap and put em in here soz lyk...dunt even bother sending me sympathy emails ::glars at un named person:: i just do it to put maiself in a better mood and thats not the kind of response i wish to get when i put some of my work in here okay? just soz we all ish clear on that ::stares at you people:: okay? okay. soz lyk..here eet eez..aiy just finished it a lil while a go and sent it to kathy and she thought it was kool beans soz aiy hope you guys do tooo! if not..uhm!! "put it down your throat!!" (lmao renee)!! heh -Stephie
(p.s...i got mah hair dun yesterdays!!! red streakyness!! coolness mucho im so proud oof tha way eet came out!!! big ups to tiffany mah hair person!!! @ tha sears hair studio!! heh im so corny...oh well deal with it lewcers!)
~~~~~~~~
"~*Broken*~"
So here im laying once again
Torn between but cant descend
This anger hate and tragedy
All of it falls back on me
Tell me why it's hard to try
And mend my aching struggles
Tell me why i cant remove,these mental chains and buckles
Each day within my painful life
I'm broken down with shame and strife
This endless chain of mixed emotions
All beneath, cracked and broken
It shouldnt be hard to just move on
To try and heal but still stay strong
But somewhere hidden deep inside
Lies all my shattered hope and pride
I say to myself that no one will notice
And hide it from friends including the closest
But still i seize to find some peace
A tiny thread of pure release
From all this hell and all this grief
I guess it wasnt meant for me~*

GeSs WhOoZ BoReD ! !
Hey gesh whoz bored...the me ish bored. ahahhahaha ::falls over:: aiy didnt go tew skewl tewday soz righ nowz aiy ish well im makin this journal entry..drr...and im thinking uf a new story..i have lyk some of the beginning written out already soz eef anyones interested in seein mah story so far..uhm..youz kan lyk..email meh or talk to meh on I.M (sekzistephie530) and aiy kan send it to youz. Im not exactly sure where i plan to lyk..go with it in tha future but the beginning so far is pretty interesting and when im done with it im gonna put it on fanfic. But i dunni..i think you ppl might lyk it. uhm..sum of the main characters are ppl that i know in real life..only to no surprise..were alot older...yippi..For example...with what i wrote so far... it has me,erin,renee, and a mention of mike and zane who will come in bigger parts later on in the storry i can assure you. Im not even gonna try to explain my plot bcuz well...its complicated and stuff soz lyk i sed if you wanna read it..just email meh or w.e ...uhm wells yesterday me and renee were talkin bout stoofoo...lyk guys and stuff and uhm...ya i found out some crap thats kinda confusing so as usual im confused..again...(yes again)..but theres no surprise there...i dunt get it dudes...this whole situation is completely messed up. ughness mucho.<<>> Well anyway im a'gunna go nowz soz i gesh ill make another entry l8er when my stomach stops hurting...til then imma go work on some more of my story and stuff. l8er fockerz -Stephie

Hey Pplz! p.s i luv thys song.
Another day is going by
Im thinking about you all the time
But youre out there
And Im here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
'Cuz so many thing were left unsaid
But now youre gone
And I cant think straight

This could be the one last chance
To make you understand

Id do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Somehow I cant put you in the past
Id do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
'Cuz I know
I wont forget you

Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place
To never come back

So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
Ill be here
Ill be waiting

This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just cant let you leave me once again

I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I cant forget you

And Id do anything for you
Id do anything
To fall asleep with you
Id do anything
Theres nothing I wont do
Id do anything
To fall asleep with you
Id do anything
'Cuz I know
I wont forget you

~~~~~
Well anywayz here we go with mah entry for tha day. it wont beh that long because mai mum cut bak on mah computer time for today. and i want to say a few things before i go on. Sorry renee, you know what i mean by that. And also im sorry that i wasnt able to make an entry yesterday..i had an issue concerning mai mum and she got all pi$$y soz lyk...ya its ok tho now aiy think...uhm well today aiy rehelly didnt do anything that interesting...i just found out that due to technical difficulties up at the office i no longer have to film yearbook commercials because the outgoing static from the tv was so bad that mah teacher decided not to waste anymore time on doin them if they are just gonna mess up and look weird. ....thats about it i gesh...uhm...ya...soz imma gunna go now again sorry i couldnt make this entry that long ill make it up to you ppl who actually take out the time to read mai entries. i luv s.o.s...even tho lyk everybuhdee knows who that is,lol...thatz ok. xo !byea! xo -Stephie ...p.s...i feel crappy!!!!! lyk whoa. byea.

None~*
Part of me wont go away, every day reminded how much i hate it
Weighted against the consequences
Cant live without it so its senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul and just live with the gaping hole
Take control of my life and wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low cuz its part of me you hardly see
Right next to the heart of me you heard of me, the routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now im sick of this i cant stand the sandpaper thoughts that grate all my sanity
Id rather not even be than tha man thats staring in the mirror through me
Cut myself free willingly stop just whats killing me Cut myself free willingly stop just whats killing me Cut myself free willingly stop just whats killing me Cut myself free willingly stop just whats killing me
I feel it every day
I feel ive made my way
I feel it swell up inside,swell up inside swallowing me
Freedom can be frightening if youve never felt it
Once its been dealt with you feel lyk youve bin touched by something angelic
Melt it down into a pool of peace and seize to be the animal you ust to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong and feel the calm when the problems all gone and then you start to see
A piece of yourlsef that you cant let be and memories of tha past fight to free yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottem of the well
And now you know that you could choose to lose the part of your heart where your insides bruise
You can live if your willing to
Put a stop to just whats killing you
~~~~~
That song lyk...ugh that describes exactly how i am right now..kinda scary huh? well w/e i was talking to zane but he just signed off soz imma go watch buffy now...uhm..bye .-Steph