"Above all else guard your heart, for it is a wellspring of life." - Proverbs 4:23

 

home | profile | guestbook


Patrick Ryan Kolstee

recent entries | past entries


goodbye

:: 2016 19 May :: 6.43pm

I haven't been in a rainstorm for a long time.
It's beautiful. It's nice to be in my car for these so I have the tin-roof sound. So calming and refreshing.

3 Comments | Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2016 15 May :: 1.22pm

People are garbage.

2 Comments | Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2016 17 March :: 8.18am
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2015 2 November :: 8.13pm

My world is a terrible place when I think of where it's lead to.

Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2015 23 August :: 12.01pm

Today marks 4 years of James and I being a couple.

Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2015 14 May :: 2.50pm

Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2014 12 August :: 3.02pm

Leave a comment


goodbye

:: 2014 12 March :: 12.21pm

2 Comments | Leave a comment


aaron

:: 2013 19 May :: 2.24pm

Shame murders progress.

1 Comment | Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2012 15 November :: 9.55pm

No feeling is final.

Leave a comment


aaron

:: 2012 7 May :: 1.33pm

I am addicted to that certainty in whose absence my selfishness is

naked.

In the first moments I was action. I moved, even though my certainty and knowledge had been shattered. From here, I can't see precisely what moved me. Some inexplicable sense that the next step, despite not mattering, was worth making.

But I've coasted to a halt. I sit motionless and restless. That is my selfishness. Though I have no certainty to speak of, it should be obvious what the next step is. [I]It's all out there[/I].

But then I stop. There are people, connections, responsibilities. Am I allowing myself to be especially possessed? Have I surrendered myself to be objectified? Does covenant imply objectification?

I am living in a paralyzing tension- on the one hand, the potential for absolute freedom. On the other, knowing how alone that freedom makes me.

Can I bind myself that way? Is there anything else to do?

_|_ If it looks something like that, then I have some writing to do.

It's funny that tripping over the answer gets me to ask the right question. My life would move along more quickly if I could do things the other way around.

Leave a comment


aaron

:: 2012 6 May :: 6.05pm
:: Music: The dog days are over

Sometimes I feel like the world is talking to me.

Leave a comment


aaron

:: 2012 1 April :: 10.12pm

I don't know anything.

What if I had it and I threw it away?

Leave a comment


aaron

:: 2012 20 February :: 2.28pm

Is it like this in everyone's head? Not writing this sentence might have been the first step in differntiating between what's in here and everything- everyone- else out there.

Am I an angry person?

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 28 November :: 4.38am

I am thinking too hard about this...
So I need to write an essay for PT school, well, two actually and I think I've been thinking too long and too hard about them... I just need to write.

Essay 1:
If you have applied to a physical therapy program in the past five years, what have you done to improve upon or enhance your application for this current admissions cycle?

When I finally decided I for sure wanted to become a physical therapist, I knew I would do whatever it took to make it happen. Even if that included moving across the country with nothing but the clothes from my closet and the little money I had in savings. I made a decision this drastic because I wanted to go about a different way of pursuing my dream. I figured if I moved to the city where I wanted to go to school, I could better understand what it would take for me to get there.
When I first got here, I knew my first order of business was to look for a job in my field, whether that be as a physical therapy tech or even as a receptionist in a physical therapy office somewhere. I just knew it was important for me to get my foot in the door. Thankfully, I got a job as a physical therapy tech at a small out patient clinic. Even though I'd volunteered and job shadowed before, being employed gave me a little more freedom. For example, I was allowed to guide patients through their exercises, instead of just having to watch the therapist. Working at this small clinic for only a few months really only gave me a tiny insight into the world of physical therapy. I left the clinic wanting to know about physical therapy and wanting to continue pursuing my ultimate dream, to become a physical therapist. I knew in order to do this, I had to get my name known throughout the network of clinics that were associated with the university I wanted to attend, which happens to be University of Pittsburgh.
I ended up taking a job as a physical therapy tech at one of the larger UMPC rehabilitation clinics. Since taking the job there back in February, I have broadened my horizons as a potential physical therapist by not only working with orthopedics, but also working with different specialties, such as sports, neurology, women's health, lymphodema and even helped a little with occupational therapy. During my employment at this clinic, I have been taking every opportunity I can to learn as much as I can, not only about being a physical therapist, but about how a practice in itself is run.
I look forward to continuing my journey to become a physical therapist. While some people may think my decision to move drastic and unnecessary, I think of it as another step towards my goal. Because of the move I made, I am more determined now than ever to keep going until I become a physical therapist. It is this determination that has improved me and enhanced me since the last time I applied to physical therapy schools two years ago.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 6 November :: 5.12pm

We can't give up. Ever.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 23 October :: 2.23pm

It's been
3 weeks... can't I just move on already? Why is this so damn hard?

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 21 October :: 4.34pm

You can become new again. All it takes is a little elbow grease. It may be an ugly process, you may get scars, you may get bruises, you may want to give up.

But the end result is truly worth it.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 19 October :: 10.32pm

I am so tired of struggling alone.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 15 October :: 4.47pm

I think it's a bad sign when saying good bye feels like a weight has been lifted.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 13 October :: 7.48am

We're just going to let it be.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 4 October :: 8.21am

It's always dangerous when someone tells you they love you.

1 Comment | Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 12 August :: 5.01pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: Radical Face

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay it's not the end.

Leave a comment


redefinedgrace

:: 2011 9 August :: 8.14pm
:: Music: E.T. // Katy Perry

In one of my dreams, I told a man I would be his Princess Leia.


I have to forget all the jerks I've met and save myself for that man.

1 Comment | Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 6 August :: 11.29am
:: Mood: accepting

It's good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.

Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 1 August :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: complacent

"I am alone in the world, and yet not alone enough to make each hour holy. I am lowly in this world, and yet not lowly enough for me to be just a thing to you, dark and shrewd. I want my will and I want to go with my will as it moves toward action. And I want, in those silent, somehow faltering times, to be with someone who knows, or else alone. I want to reflect everything about you, and I never want to be too blind or too ancient to keep your profound wavering image with me. I want to unfold. I don't want to be folded anywhere, because there, where I'm folded, I am a lie."

Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 19 July :: 10.40pm
:: Mood: awake

If you have to ask, you will never know. If you know, you need only ask.

Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 17 July :: 10.22am
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: Beck

It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch.

Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 11 July :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: exhausted

My heart is my own design.

Leave a comment


shalee

:: 2011 9 July :: 11.11pm

The hard of heart also have their sorrows.

Leave a comment

Woohu.com | Random Journal