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2004 16 March :: 9.38pm
:: Mood: geeky
:: Music: Tipsy--j kwon!!
Oh wow, today was very interesting..went to skool late..had to skip 1st hour..i had woodruffs class!! Then right when i was walking into 2nd hour i had gym so i was walking there and i was walking past arkinsons room thingy, and i saw kyndra in there and stopped walked in and they were like oh we were just putting a pass out to get you lol so i stayed there all 2nd hour. 3rd hour was fun..me and ashley had fun buggin renteria the whole time..then lunch hung out wif brandy n had to go to mrs johantgens class so i could get help wif my math cuz i need to do better in there..4th hour was fun..german is never fun so thats weird lol talked about german day at the university of michigan on friday..yayay!! lol So that was skool..
Then Donna picked me up and i went to counsling at the aware shelter, yeah that was really interesting today, talked about alot of diff things, too much thinking for me lol =p then mom picked me up and like i guess jelly and her got into it again..yeah it was horrible this time again..once again my fault dammit!!
But omg today urgh i was soo fuckin freaking out, called Lisa she coldnt talk, Cassie is being a bitch and ignoring me, Brandy was in Holt, so yeah every1 was busy, so i called..uhm Kyndra i felt like SUCHA DORK!! But we actually talked for like an hour..but i let her go 1. cellie was going dead 2. i bet i was bothering her anyway.. 3. ill see her 2marro anyway!! I cant wait, she seriously ist he best i luv talking to her!!
Neways just wanted to say happy b day to britty again..like just in case ya know!! lol =) CHELSIE I LUV YOU!! Megan hope your feeling better!! Ali jean you mean everything to me i luv you!! everyone i luv you!!
Love..me!!
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2004 14 March :: 11.38am
:: Mood: sad
Always and forever, remember..
Too often we don't .r.e.a.l.i.z.e. what we have until it's gone
too *often* we wait too long to say "I'm sorry I was wrong"
Sometimes it seems we -:-hurt-:- the ones we hold dearest to
our •hearts• and we allow foolish things to tear our lives apart
Far too many times we let `unimportant´ things into mind and
then it's . *usually*. too late to see what made us blInd. . .
Well now i can say that i know how it feels to be..second best ='( Urgh i want things back to the way they were..when everything was perfect inside our own little dream world, i miss those days, and would give anything to get them back.
You know who you are, so dont try and ignore it!! I luv you more than anything in the whole world!! I just wish that you still felt the same way.
James i luv you soo much!! Thanks for everything!!
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2004 14 March :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: Have you ever--Brandy
Arent i the lucky one..
You guys you guys!!! Guess wat!!
Omg im soo friggin happy now!!
Of course i bet you prolly can guess,
Its about some guy lol, but still,
Does anyone member me always
Talking about that James kid that,
Is my best guy friend, well yeah..
He asked me back out, urgh im soo
Happy Tiffany will not, and is
NOT going to ruin our relationship
again, I told you all that me and this kid will
Get married, hes my best friend,
And now again my boyfriend, im soo happy!!
Other than that amazing thing, this
weekend Has been awesome, went
to Lisa's n than Babysat, Sounds
boring, but omg you have No idea
whenever lisa n i are Together we
have the BEST time ever!! lol I love
that gurl shes one of my best friends!
One bad thing, Martin is mad at me,
=( he Says that he was going to
ask me out this Weekend, *yeah
WHATEVER..lol* and that he really
liked me, and Its stupid that im
going back out wif James, Urgh
hes being childish but i luv
him and i MISS HIM, so babes plz
stop this stupid fight, And come
back to me =p i luv you!!
Well thats enough for now, im
tired, and i Think that im gonna
call my baby tho he told Me to
call at like 12..oh wells, he
hopefully wont mind lol
I LUV YOU CHELSIE!! Glad i got to
talk to you today, your the friggin
best, i cant wait to talk to you again!! lol =)
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2004 11 March :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: lonely
Please dont do this to me..
Oh wowow today was fuckin horrible..1st hour was fun i guess..i actually did my work for math, it was great stuff =p Mrs. Johantgen was soo proud lol..
Then second hour..holy shit..i was sittin there and yeah i was streched out on Cassie Browns cubical thingy so i could talk to her, and yeah she saw uhm *cuts* on my arm, and yeah she freaked out, got a pass went to the bathroom and i jus left the class and ran after her, and yeah we talked..well she screamed..then she told duffey and lisa, and yeah then cassie smith found out and becky.
And then becky was going to tell BRANDY!!! In 3rd hour and beckys like well shes ur friend you sould tell her, im sure she wont tell anyone and then yeah she was hinting at wat it was and brandy guessed it but i jus like joked around about it, and becky laughed so im sure she knows..i told becky if she told her then i wasnt going to talk to her anymore, and then i like left the class bcuz i couldnt take her shit anymore, and i guess brandy and her became good friends while i was gone, and then yeah i didnt talk all lunch and anyway brandy was too busy wif becky anyway, and cassie smith wasnt on my lunch todya, and then cassie brown i was mad at her and lisa was being retarded and so i was totally silent the whole time..big shocker!!
Then i got outta 4th hour too, i couldnt sit in that class really, i was seriously about to pass out, so i went back down to arkison..urgh she gave me the biggest headache..urgh i dont want to go to skool anymore..fuck it!! =(
I want Kyndra to come back tho, i really miss her dang it, i need to talk to her, but i wont be able to see her till wed bcuz group was changed to then, and guess wat my counsler from the aware shelter is coming in to talk in my group lol..fun shit
Well ima go i luv you all ltos byes!!
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2004 10 March :: 11.50am
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Toxic --nasty ass b spears =p
When forever ends, i will still luv you..
Well hey nothing really going on today, its an early release day so we get outta school here soon after this class we get to go to lunch and then go home which is friggin awesome because I hope that my mom is gone so that I can get online, not that there will be anything to do because yeah NOBODY will be online because yeah they’ve got school HAHA but oh wells neways..
I really don’t have anything to say, but Brittany I love you soo much and I hope that we can talk soon. I miss talking to you, and I hope that you do to. I don’t know, I just hope that you still wanna be friends, I luv you soo much!!
Ali jean thanks for making my day this morning, I came into class and I was all pissed off because I was tardy for fuckin helping out one of my teachers wif this german pemission slip thingy, and I got in trouble..i aint helping nobody no more!! =( But neway thanks for being soo sweet and being one of the best friends ive ever had!! I luv you soo much!!Well that’s enough for today, I luv you all lots, ex you chelsie =p Latah babes
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2004 9 March :: 10.23am
:: Mood: excited
Does it really matter..
Just sitting here in uprights class with another sub, with my bestest buddy Lisa Marie and Cassie!!!!
Well today i skipped 1st hour and then i forgot that it was tuesday so i missed group today..lol Kyndra is giong to kill me, bcuz shes in Mexico right now and last week she told me that she wasnt going to be here for group this week and that she wasnt going to be here this week and so i told her that i didnt wanna go to group if she wasnt going to be there and then yeah she told me that i had to, so i siad that i would and then i ACCIDENTLY =p missed it this morning shes giong to beat me up!! hehe oh wells i luv that lady i cant wait until she comes home!! =)
But neways i wrote you a letter last nite britty, and i like was all ready to send it this morning i had the stamp on the envolope n everything but i decided not to send it, but im sure that im going to send it 2marro. But yeah you have to tell me the day that ou get it. I luv you lots babes and n miss you tons babes!! *and yes it does matter* I LUV YOU!!
Chelsie thanks for everything, your the best babes..well i dont really have anything to say rite now ive gotta give cassie here computer back because shes going to get all mad n everything lol..but neways luv you all lots!!
<33 Jilly!!
Oh yeah by the way..i cant get online during the week anymore, thats me and my moms deal, only on the weekends!! But oh wells luv you all lots!! =)
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2004 7 March :: 8.53pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Nobody knows--Kevin sharp
Is that all that i am to you..
How's my journal now everyone..better..or worse let me know!! =)
Ya know ive been thinking about alotta things lately, and one topic that i was thinking about was about who my *true* friends are..and if i am a *true* friend. And who i am a *true* friend to..
A while ago like a long while ago britty told me what she thought a true friend was, and ive stuck with this *definition* or *opinion* ever since. A true friend is someone who is there through everything, and accepts you for who you are. *or something like that*
I know that i dont have many true friends, but i started thinking, and after a while, i realized that i have more than i think that i do..Like Britty, Chelsie, Ali Jean, Brittney, Tiffany, Cassie, Lisa, Becky Dawn, James, Mike, Steffanie, and a few others. Like seriously i know that if i ever needed anything, anyone of those ppl would be right there by my side!! Do you know how lucky am i for that!!
Then i was thinking, and i tried to think of some people that ive always been a true friend to..and seriously you might think this is like my *low self asteem* talking but really i cant think of one person..yeah britty, but yeah she knows that i aint ALWAYS been, chelsie neither, Lisa and i didnt like eachother 8th grade..cassie and i neither, James and i stopped talking for a while, same with Mike..i guess i could say Tiffany Becky Dawn and Steffanie i have been a true friend too, but 1. Becky Dawn was easy, all you have to do is listen to her guy problems and give advice really..and Steffanie same, just a few more things, and just keeping touch when she just recently moved, that too..Tiffany iw ould have to say i really am a true friend to her, its been hard, but its been worth it..i luv you babes!! But really who else..i cant really think of many..maybe gloria, ive alwyas been here for her..shes sucha great person tho..i cant help it *now shes my daw daw and im her mother J* YaYaY!! lol but no seriusly the only reason i try and be there for her as much as i can is because yeah she mite be popular goofy and happy but i think there is much more to her, or much more than the rest of her friends at least, maybe thats mean..i dont care =p
But i dont know..you know how i think too much..welll thats it for today, i'll prolly write more 2marro..latah every1.
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2004 6 March :: 10.31pm
If only you could see the tears in my heart
Im just putting these qoutes on here so that i dont lose them =p haha
But really..they do mean something to me..=( oh wells life goes on ya know!!
"You can't hurt someone unless you really mean something to them."
"The greatest pain in life is not to die, but to be forgotten and ignored."
"At least be there to wipe away my tears if you're going to make me cry."
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2004 6 March :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: weird
*If only life was this way..
Omg..BEST WEEKEND EVER WAS THIS WEEKEND!! Wowo and Friday too!! OmG you have no idea im soo fuckin happy rite now!! Okay friday oh wow with the snowfest games and every class being shorter, that was soo much fun!! Oh gosh and then after skool.. =)
okay me and becky were going to the bathroom, and like i was walking backwards and becky was walking forward cuz there were snowcones on the ceiling and they had every1 in 9th grades name on it..so we were looking for her name..and like we were at the last one and im like okay i dont know and im like im going to the bathroom and i walked like rite into the guys bathroom and beckys like no no no not that one no..and it wouldnt have been as bad cuz there was nobody around except nathan nimps was walking out rite as i was walking in..omg me and her started fuckin busting up!! She almost pissed her pants!!!!!! =p It was great..=D
And then we like were hanging out and doing stuff at her..and baby sitting the cutest lil girl kassi..Her niece..and like yeah then kevin came got us *her boyfriend* we went to mcdonalds then to the dance after driving around for like forever..it was GREAT!! He is soo fun and kool..im glad she got sucha good one!! Then the dance omg every1 thuoght i was high off my ass..i sweear i wasnt..really..but we were dancing the whole time it was soo fuckin fun!!
Me and chad were dancing together too, which was kinda bad cuz his gf if she found out she would die =( But i luv ashley..and i hope she dont find out..but yeah me and lisa and cassie smith and brown and like arianna and ashley b and brenda and monika and all of us were dancing together it was great!! And yeah it was just great..me and Cassie smith had a fuckin blast!!
And then stayed up at till about 3-4 in the morning talking to becky dawn..about EVERYTHING!! It was fuckin awesome!! But then today nicoles baby shower, yeah that was great i was really surprised that cassie smith actually showed up but that was fuckin awesome and then me and cassie and becky went and baby sat kassi for abit and then my mom came and got me and cassie and too bad she was grounded..but oh wells now im home and im bout to leave in a second to go to chads!!!! =) omfg i luv this kid!!
Me and Cassie i sweear are bcoming like best friends again..you guys have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!! But tahts enough for t nite.gotta go luv you all lots!! Byes!!
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2004 4 March :: 11.19am
:: Mood: tired
Everything must change sooner or latah..
Wow, yesterday was interesting..I got to talk to Kyndra yesterday which was AWESOME!! =) I really luv talking to that lady!!
But neways also yesterday ryan came over so taht he and josh could help me fix my lil scooter thingy..which was MAJORLY odd..i dont know why yesterday was interesting..it jus was =p
But today has been pretty good..got in trouble in woodruff's class again. Second hour was really really fun in gym playin v ball n everything!! Wow we kicked some booty!! =p Im hoping to get outta this hour, im hoping kyndra will come this hour cuz she told me that she would come today if i wanted her to, and so yeah i did. So she sould be coming soon!! =) I hope she comes soon at least.. =p
Latah t nite we've gotta go shopping for something to wear for snowfest, and then im gonna try and go to this hall decorating thingy from 4-8 but im not sure yet!!
But thats enough for now..illw rite more another time!
I luv you britty!! *never leave me*
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2004 2 March :: 6.58pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: amazed--Lonestar
Its just one more day..
It seems like every time i try to make
Things up to you, it all blows up in my
face..all i want to do is be there for you
and care about you wif all that i have
All i want to do, is be the friend that
you've been to my all of my life, but it
just doesnt work out that way!!
I know that we've been through hell n
back, and i wish that things were diff
i wish that we were still the best of
friends..two friends that everyone knew
would be best friends forever..two friends
that were soo close!! i jus want things
to be the same again, wat happened
between the two of us =(
Your the best friend that ive ever had,
and i hope you believe that to be true.
I'd give anything to be ur best friend
again, but it seems to me tha we've
went our seperate ways, and started
our own lives..please tell me if you still
want to be friends, please tell me if there
is anything i can do to help our friendship!!
Things change..people change, shit happens..but l.i.f.e. g.o.e.s. o.n. Yeah i dont believe that, becuz w/o you..my life is over..i luv you soo fuckin much!! And i miss you!! You sould knw who you are..and if not..wow..some1 is either totally retarted..doesnt care..or hasnt been payin attention =/
i luv you wif alla my heart, never leave me =(
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2004 2 March :: 12.19pm
:: Mood: anxious
One last night with you..
Wow today is like soo bORING!! You guys have no idea..but yeah today was tuesday which means today i got to go into group, but woodruff *my 1st hour teacher* was really pissed off that i was late, and then he like bitched me out when i came back into class to get my stuff, and then yeah i was late to second hour which means i got a detention from mcdowell for being tardy and then he bitched, and urgh they piss me off!!
Now im behind on my layout thingy in his class too but fuck him, screaw this skool i hate this skool!!!!!!!!
neways, yeah kyndra is coming back on thurs so that we can *talk* YaYaY!! Im soo happy i luv talking to her!! And then today i cant go to my other counsler, yeah my mom is sucha bitch i knew she would do this, shes going to act like were going every time but its giong o tbe like yeah we cant go today and then next week oh im sick..I told her that im not going anymore =p
But oh wells, ill write more latah
I luv you soo friggin much britters!! =)
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2004 29 February :: 9.26pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: suga suga--steve n his bf josh's song =p
i member everythin bout us, every kiss, every hug, even every smile..
Wow, its like only 9 15 and im really tired..so i think that im gonna get offline and prolly go to sleep or at least stare at my wall till the early hours in the morning since i cant ever sleep..
The only reason i get online is to talk to me best friend brittany, but she friggin is either online and not talking, or shes not on at all..so i dont see the point in being online..
Cept for talking to my baby ali jean, cept she seems preoccupied these days..i dont know maybe its just me..
maybe im jus imagining everything, yeah i dont know anymore, it feels like im walking in slow motion, my life is racing rite past me and there is nothing that i can do about it..
oh wells ima go..luv you all..byes!!
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2004 29 February :: 6.25pm
you make me wanna stay here forever..
Well lets see here, nothing really happening today..i got to talk to my buddy ol' pal chelsie for once in FOREVER!! =P *i luv you soo much babes*
Got to takl to my best friend britty today too!! Wow that was amazin!! lol I miss you soo much babey gurl!! And i hope things are okay between us!!
Wow i have nothing to talk about really, does everyone like my new journal..i think its more of a happier than my usual kind of journal if you ask me!! =p
I think that brandy is right about steve tho, i think that i sould jus leave him alone and see what hes doing next, cuz i cant be being used like that anymore, screaw him im better than that!! =)
Well i dont have anything to talk about for now..oh wait yes i do..
next friday is snowfest *for those who dont knwo thats the second biggest dance of the highskool year* and yeah me and becky dawn are gonna go together, im giong to her hosue fri were going to the dance then sat were going to nicoles baby shower together!! YaYaY!! Were gonna have soo much fun together! i luv that gurlie =)
Well thats it for now..love you all!! Latah!!
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2004 29 February :: 2.36pm
READY FOR LOVE: You're sensitive but no pushover,
active but not manic. In short, you're a great
girl/guy who's ready for a relationship. If
you're not already involved with someone, it's
only because you want a guy/girl who's worthy
of your love---you just haven't met him/her
yet. That's cool. You've got plenty of other
interests to keep you busy. When you do meet
''Mr. Great/Miss. Great,'' chances are you
won't abandon all the other impotant stuff in
your life for romance. In fact, your
independance and spirit will be part of what
attracts him/her---and keeps him/her. Would YOU
PLEASE rate my quiz? YOU surely don't have to,
but i'd apreciate it more than YOU could
imagine if YOU would! Thanks! Peace out yo'!
Are YOU ready to have a BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND? For the OLDER GALS/GUYS!
brought to you by Quizilla
oh that is soo me lady and gents!! =p
Even chad agrees!! =)
Alien1088: yeah
Alien1088: it is u
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2004 28 February :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: i dont want you back--eamon *or wateva*
When you smile, i melt..
Omfg guess who jus decided to show up at my house unexpectedly!!! STEVE!! Omg im in my pjs and i look like friggin satin!! =p
I HATE how im letting him use me!! Seriously like one minute he'll be kissin up on Tuesday n Brandy and then the next he's at my hosue making out wif me!! And i just let him, i dont yell at him, i dont tell him that i dont like what hes doing to me, i jus go along wif it!! And i fuckin hate it!!
Why the hell am i letting him use me/get to me like this!! I CANT be in love with the kid!! I CANT!! urgh if anyone has any advice..please let me know bcuz im all outta ideas!! ='(
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2004 27 February :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: yeah--usher--lil jon--n luda
Without you, nothing seems worth it =(
Wow today, yeah it was interesting!! Actually it was good, besides the fact that tiffany and me almost got into a fight!! I swear iw ould have socked the shit outta her if she wasnt cassie's friend!! i hate when i try to be respectful!! =(
But besides that, one good thing was that kyndra came into skool today tot alk to me! She didnt even have any other appointments, she jus wanted to talk to me cuz she said she would talk to me again sometime this week!! Then she was late to her appt lol but i'll see her tues in group at skool!! YaY!! =)
omg i luv this song its country, its i luv you this much by some odd guy i dont know lol but its a good song everyone listen to it =p
neways i dont think me and steve are going to work out this time!! But me and James are getting real close and whats his face asked me back out, so yeah..im okay!! =) cept i miss my baby =( and wif snowfest this next week, dammit i need him here wif me..srry depressing moment, back now!! =)
i have to go to da doctor when my mommy gets home, we think that i pulled a muscle in my shoulder dammit!! =( it hurts like hell ='(
neways thats enough for now, i think that ima get offline, internet bores me anymore..the only reason i get online is for this journal, and to talk to britts, but of krose she dont get hoem till like 4 30 and is never online anymore anyway so no use being online!! Luv you all =)
love..me!!
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2004 27 February :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: yeah--usher--lil jon--n luda
Without you, nothing seems worth it =(
Wow today, yeah it was interesting!! Actually it was good, besides the fact that tiffany and me almost got into a fight!! I swear iw ould have socked the shit outta her if she wasnt cassie's friend!! i hate when i try to be respectful!! =(
But besides that, one good thing was that kyndra came into skool today tot alk to me! She didnt even have any other appointments, she jus wanted to talk to me cuz she said she would talk to me again sometime this week!! Then she was late to her appt lol but i'll see her tues in group at skool!! YaY!! =)
omg i luv this song its country, its i luv you this much by some odd guy i dont know lol but its a good song everyone listen to it =p
neways i dont think me and steve are going to work out this time!! But me and James are getting real close and whats his face asked me back out, so yeah..im okay!! =) cept i miss my baby =( and wif snowfest this next week, dammit i need him here wif me..srry depressing moment, back now!! =)
i have to go to da doctor when my mommy gets home, we think that i pulled a muscle in my shoulder dammit!! =( it hurts like hell ='(
neways thats enough for now, i think that ima get offline, internet bores me anymore..the only reason i get online is for this journal, and to talk to britts, but of krose she dont get hoem till like 4 30 and is never online anymore anyway so no use being online!! Luv you all =)
love..me!!
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2004 25 February :: 11.57am
:: Mood: sore
Okay just sittin here in renteria's class being bored..man this lady gets on my nerves shes a bitch!!
But oh wells..neways nothing really been happening lately..cept one BIG THING!!
me and steve finally started talking again!! Omg yesterday we were talking during lunch cuz i went up to him cuz he was sad about something and yeah i was takling to him and we jus keep gettin closer and closer and den like yeah we hugged and then we kissed and when lunch was over we went to his 4th hour so we could tell him teacher and then we walked to my 4th hour and we were kissing and everything then he met me after 4th hour and we walked together to the lobby and then like he grabbed me and pulled me to the side and we were kissing and huggin and talkin and everything till my mom got there to pick me up!! So yeah i dnot know whats gonig on wif that..he keeps sayin you need to get ungrounded soon so that i can see you and we can go back out..yeah what if i dont wanna go out wif him again. But neways..
Yeah i went to meet my counsler last night. She is really really awesome!! I like her. Im going every tues at 3 pm!! YaY!! Ima get *better* hah funny shit!!
Well ima go for now..latah everyone!!
And ali jean, did you call me yesterday?? omg if you did im seriously going to kill my lil sister!! Dude if you can call me tonight or whenever you can!! i luv you soo fuckin much and miss you tons!! =)
Love..Jilly!! <33
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2004 22 February :: 3.37pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
well nothing has really been happening
this weekend, just worked last night
That was really fun tho, i aint seen tammy
in like wat seems like forever..but now she
wants me to come over this week and baby-
sit her lil girl, but im major busy, but of korse
i said that i would..wat a nice person eh =p
Last night steve called me after i got outta
work and we were talking for a while, and
he asked me if i would ever go back out with
him, and i said i dont know, and asked why
and he said because he wants to go back
out when im not grounded anymore, bcuz he
misses me..HAH BULLSHIT!! But no i really
dont want to go back out wif him, i need to
get my shit straight before i have a relationship
ya know..i need some time by myself, some
time for jilly for a while..then ill start dating
again, but just not right now. =)
Oh yeah you guys.. *chelsie mostly* im
getting *help* omg miss conrad/mrs beer
was soo happy lol..it was soo cute!! But
freal i am gettin help, im talking to a counsler
at skool and then im seeing one at the aware
shelter, and then im going to group counsling
at the aware shelter, and then im doing this
like second challenge day thingy to help other
students and everytyhing, *to become a
challenge day leader* and yeah then im doing
this like group counsling thingy at skool that
mrs arkison is doing, its on tues the first day,
then at the otehr group counsling is the
same day after skool..its gonna be great
you would be soo proud =p
Well thats enough for today, ima go..luv you
all soo much!! Latah!!
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2004 20 February :: 9.43am
:: Mood: restless
Wow were jus sittin here in uprights class and we arent doing anything, so i might as well just write in here..
Urgh me and my mom are like fighting soo horrible..we actually got into a fist fight the other day..all yesterday i had to walk around with this huge red mark rite on my face..it was soo noticable i felt like sucha loser =/
I dont think that im ever going to be ungrounded..which means that i will never be able to do anything..with anyone..so me n steve are going to start not talking, and then cassie and I are going to lose touch again..and urgh all of my friends are gettin mad at me cuz i either cant do anything..or ive gotta work ='(
The only thing good about this week, is that me and Brandy are becoming alot better friends!! She is really awesome!! I luv this gurl hehe!! But she thinks that i like really dont like her that much cuz like she dont have very many friends here at nw yet..and so she asked me if i wanted to go to holt with her and met some of her friends this weekend, but no i cant..gotta friggin work, and im still grounded!! =(
Dammit i miss my baby ali jean!! I seriously wish that i could talk to her soo friggin bad!! I jus wanna cry ='( But i wont cuz like wat my mom said before, your not surposed to cry..it makes you a weak person =/ And i friggin miss brittany marie gamester too!! Babes i luv you and hope that your okay..gosh i miss everyone..oh well life goes on ig uess =(
Well ima go..i think that im going to like go to bed or something..latah everyone =(
<33 Jilly!!
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2004 18 February :: 9.55am
:: Mood: indescribable
Rest in peace!!
Omfg everyone!! Joes dad died..hes dead..gone forever..and kevin hes in the hospital with like a swollen brain and then like a broken jaw and all of his teeth knocked out!!
Omg i hurried as fast as i could to this class too, and i found duffey sittin at her computer all alone with nobody around and shes was bawling!! I jus grabbed her and she was shakin and she didnt let go or anything..omg i feel soo horrible!! I seriously luv sidnee duffey soo fuckin much!! shes means everything to me and i hope that she is okay..this really sucks!! i hate this, i luv her soo much shes still crying!! ='(
Brittany marie gamester i miss you call me tonight if you read this and if you want to. But yeah i luv you soo much and miss you tons!!
And ali jean, omg i got ur letter last nite..omg your the best friend ever sweetie pie!! Awwe your soo sweet i started crying!! i luv you soo fuckin much!! awwes!! Ima write you back..and well ya know!! lol i luv you soo much!!
Please pray for kevin that he is okay..and pray for little joe and mallory *shes only six, and little joe is 15 my age, and then kevin is only 12* and thier mother..god help us down here *yesh i said god britt*
<33 Jilly!!
Okay im going to just edit this journal entry and write while WE ARE DOING NOTHING..wait i mean while brandy is doing nothing in tuckers class!! =) heh
Well nothing much has happened since last hour but yeah duffey didnt stop crying the whole class, it was really upsetting, and i started crying.. *yesh i actually started crying brittany*
But yeah we've gotta get going..ill write more latah t nite!!
BRANDY IS AN ASSHOLE!! =) heh jk shes kool..*britt u know all bout dat*
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2004 14 February :: 5.19pm
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!!
I LUV YOU ALL =)
britts chels megs n my baby ali jean!! Have a wonderful v day!! i luv you all soo fuckin much!!
ali jean i luv you..ur my valentine!! and the best one at that!!
Britts ur my second valetine but you mean jus as much i luv you all!! latah babes!!
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2004 13 February :: 2.29pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: one call away --chingy!!
Wow today was rather eventful!!
i got 7 valentines total..by special special ppl except for the one from steve sayin he wanted me back and he still lvoes me..BULLSHIT!! heh =)
yeah neways..oh wow great news everyone!! Sidnee won representing queen for our freshmen class!!! yayayay were soo friggin happy!! And then shadell got it for sophmore!! Dats soo friggin awesome im soo glad!! =)
But yeah..nothing too big to write bout!! Me and britts are doing great!! i luv that girl soo fuckin much!! Britts your the best thing thats ever happened to me i fuckin luv you!! =)
BlOw BuBbLeZ : i will call you squisssssssshy
BlOw BuBbLeZ : and you shall be miiiiiiiiiiiiine
BlOw BuBbLeZ : nd u shall be my squisssssssshy
^^haha aint she da cutest thing!!
BlOw BuBbLeZ : why not somewhere u can get married homosexually:-P
BlOw BuBbLeZ : that i love yer guts n forever we shall be together :-)
BlOw BuBbLeZ : in a non sexual way so dont get yer hopes up
xSwEetoXoKiSseSx: oh dammit!!
BlOw BuBbLeZ : lol sorry i kinda led you onn :-P
^^And you wonder why i luv this gurl soo much!! awwe hehe!! babes i luv you soo fuckin much!!
well dats enough for now..latah everyone!! =)
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2004 13 February :: 9.24am
:: Mood: happy
Awwe everyone luved thier lil presents i got em for v day!! Im soo happy!! =)
Me n duffey, *sidnee* were just talkin buot britt...haha it was interestin conversation. And den she said she was *PRETTY* cuz she saw pix of her dat i put in my agenda..
haha steve is going out wit Tuesday..FUCKIN GROSS!! I was walkin in da hall earlier and yeah i walked past him and i was already tardy so he came up to me and tried to give me a hug but cassie ran up to me jus in time and saved me and gave me a nice hug!! lol
Neways i jus wanted to say happy v day to my valentine ali jean!! I luv you soo fuckin much babes!! Cant wait to read ur letter i luv you and hope to talk to you soon babes!! Have a great v day!!
HAVE A GREAT VALENTINES DAY BRITTANY MARIE GAMESTER AND CHELSIE WHITESALL *CANT SPELL UR MIDDLE NAME OR MEMBER IT I THINK NOT SURE LOL*
Im soo happy n hyper riten ow..cept ive gotta go to all my classes today for once cuz mrs arkison aint here dammit..oh wells..lit comp is next..yay..NOT!! oh well me n brittney will have some fun there!!
well i better get going..luv you all lots!! latah everyone!!
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2004 12 February :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: yeah--lil jon n usher
Time to update this!!
Wow aint nota whole lot happening around here really jus sittin here at larrys, had to get outta my house for abit, and get v day stuff for 2marrow..yayay wat i got for everyone is soo cute!! =)
2marrow is an early release day, good thing too cuz i couuldnt take another day of skool!! Whew too much for me right now!! Cant handle all of this!!
Awwe my baby gurl ali jean sent me a letter, which i sould get like 2marro, maybe 2 day, i unno im hoping, and she *says* shes sendin 2 more 2marro hah =p Awwe 2 more days till v day!!
Babes your the best person ever, thanks for bein there through all this preganet shit *which im NOT!!* and all of this steve shit, your the best i luv you!!
Oh gosh you too britts n chelsie!! Your the best, i could seriously not live without you. ANd chels ya know wat i was jus thinking, ya now how we said we'd try to get together every month at least once..hah i saw you da day after me and steve started going out ='( but yeah nov 22nd its been too long babes, i miss you and think we sould get together!! luv you both tons!!
Omg ya know who i aint talked to in..FOREVER..my lizzo..kathryn, awwe, dat sucks!! i miss her tons!!..awwe!! Somebody tell her dat i said hey n dati luv her.
well dats enough for now..buot to leave anyway..luv you all..byes!!
<33 Jilly!!
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2004 9 February :: 10.42am
:: Mood: DEPRESSED..READ DAT CAREFULLY!!!!
omfg..
Dude omg, steve and i just broke up before this class, and already hes like flirting wif every gurl and hes like all happy n shit..
I told him about wat happened wif my mom and wanted to know wat he wanted to do wif our relationship and everything and yeah i told him dat i wouldnt be able to see him barely and den we both went to our 1st hours and den yeah he came back after 1st hour and yeah den he told me dat i could give his shit back, and then yeah i said i would, and den he said dat we could still be friends and everything, and den he was like well maybe when things work out wif your mom den we can start talkin again..BULLSHIT!!
omfg i wanna die, hes da only guy ive ever felt something about, and yeah i know that you all this yeah well you'll get back together, but this time it was freal..no more like talkin on da phone every nite..no more sittin togetherin the morning, no more kisses before class, no more riot together, NO MORE ANYTHING!!
i hate this, im sittin here bawling in the middle of class, i havent done anything in this class yet and its almost over..
and den nicole invited me to her baby shower and gave me this cute lil invation and everything and i prolly wont be able to go, and i really wanna surport her, 14 years old havin a kid she needs all she can get..
my mom is pickin me up early to go da shelter and to go to counsling and den da police station..i fuckin hate her..she told me to break up wif steve too but i siad i wouldnt..i wanna die!!
but i lu vyou all of you and hope to hear from you sometime..i luv you soo fuckin much!!
ex you ali jean brittany chelsie megan stacey al of you omg i all of you..i lu vyou ='(
<33 Jilly!!
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2004 7 February :: 7.36pm
IM SRRY YOU GUYS..MY MOM IS TAKIN THE INTERNET AWAY..IM SRRY I WONT GET TO TALK TO ANYONE OF YOU
I LUV YOU ALL SOO FUCKIN MUCH I HATE THIS..IM GONNA DIE!!
I'LL EXPLAIN LATAH CUZ ILL PROLLY GET ON HERE THROUGH SKOOL BUT IT WONT BE DA SAME
I LUV YOU BRITTANY, MEGAN, CHELSIE, STACEY, ALI JEAN, ALL OFYOU OMG IM LUV YOU ALL ='(
BYE..DONT YOU ALL GO FORGETIN BOUT ME I LUV YOU ALL..BYES!!!
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2004 1 February :: 4.47pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: my mom puking--FUCKIN EWWIE!!
Wow i aint really wrote in here for a few days or something..so i jus thought that i would write in here..
I miss woohu, its soo friggin easy to use!! Livejournal is all like confusing and everything, but its still really kool because like alot of my friends from like skool and everything have it, but i still really miss woohu..cuz even tho there is alot of ppl from skool on livejournal, they dont have my homebase ppl like britt chels n megs there..so livejournal yesh, sucks!! Without you 3 anything sucks!! =)
Me and brittany are doing good, me and chelsie are going really good, *thanks babes* and then me and megs, well shes mad at me i guess..=/ ill have to fix that shit..
And then me and steve are okay i guess, hes kinda mad cuz ryan stayed the night last nite, but were gonna talk latah, im surposed to be going to the mall wif him and josh and cassie, but yeah, im not sure if i want to because the reason were goin is cuzt ehre is this teen pregancy thingy gonig on there and we all wanted to check it out, but yeah i dont know if i wanna go yet..*still no news on all of that shit* =/ kinda scared..
Oh wells, neways i really dont have all that much to say so ima go..luvy ou all byes!!=)
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2004 27 January :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: frustrated
Finally updating woohu
yeah i knwo i aint updated in a while..its cuz of my new livejournal..its hard to keep up wif cuz liek alot of my friends have it and yeah its fun ya kno!!
yeah i had a HORRIBLE day today..i did something horrible!! i dont know wat im surposed to do, for the few of you that know about wat happened, what do u think that i sould do??
And chels..if i really had to go to that *place* we were talkin about..would u really go wif me?? It would mean alot to me..but i cant tell my mom..i dont know waht im surpsoed to do here..
Im going to call steve rite now..i think..im not sure i think i mite wanna do it in person..but im leavin rite now either way ive gotten sick twice..cryin soo hard and soo frustrated..and den i have this HUGE HUGE killin pain in my side.soo ima go!!
Luv you all bye!!
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