"Do not shut the heavens, but open up our hearts...Rain down, all around the world we're singing..." ~Delirious?~

 

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Jewels from Jules

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:: 2009 25 January :: 7.14 pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: Coffee maker

My hope to live out my hopes
For the past few days, I have been lounging on my couch watching TV episodes one after another. In the back of my mind has been this nagging thought to get to work on my hopes and dreams. But doubts that I will ever be a success keep my mind stuck to the screen, and words that are supposed to flow from a writer's brain stay drudged in the mud that's inside of my head. Call it sickness, call it lack of opportunity, whatever.

The truth is that I've been making the same lame excuse to keep my thoughts frozen, rather than melting them down to let them flow out through my fingers onto the page through the hard process of critical thinking, analysis, and decision making.

The truth is that my pastor was right when he said: "The biggest cause of failure is the fear of failure." I know I can succeed. But I've been stubborn in my doubts of success.
Perhaps its because I cannot yet see how my success will take its shape. Will I be a traveling journalist, a freelancer, work for a magazine, my own magazine. Has what I've thought of already been done, and if so why should I step into the game?

But the truth I need to cling to is this. Like a woman collecting pennies in a jar to fund her church's Sunday school, small beginnings lead to great ends if you're willing to let them grow. If she hadn't started to place pennies in that jar, her coworkers never would have asked her if they could also donate; the kids at Sunday school would not have been bonded to the older generation when they proposed to sing a song in grateful thanks; the joy of knowing that we can improve lives and build relationships would not have been found.

But that woman collected pennies. What are my pennies?

Snippets of knowledge
A large space for compassion and understanding
The ability to analyze
The ability to write
Stories of people who inspire
A vision to mobilize people to action through stories of hope.

I have the tools necessary. It can be done. Will I start to collect the pennies?

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2007 6 September :: 12.51 am
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: Jars of Clay

Hope for Guatemala [the pictures are copyrighted. Don't copy 'em.]
Let me pick up where I left off on my last email:
"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." -Audre Lorde

As I have trusted, He has guided...

Friday, July 6th, in the darkness of 2:30a.m., my first flight out of the country began. I had the jitters, antsy with the anticipation of Guatemala. But aside from fighting off sleep, I also fought any fear trying to invade my mind.

We flew into the city, with a view of a volcano towering above layers of houses squeezed together in the hills, and cars disrespecting all of the road rules. On the end of that night, Melissa, the photographer, and I went up to the roof of our apartment to stare at that volcano. To our right was the sun beaming onto the mountains through the clouds. God's light was going ahead of us :).





The first Saturday on the job, Melissa and I visited a music school in the city organized by MCC worker Beth. Students young and old pay a small fee to spend one day a week learning music theory, voice and keyboard or guitar. The purpose is to give youth an alternative rather than getting involved in violent activity such as gangs, which are a too common thing in Guatemala City.

Day 2: On Sunday we took a 6 hour bus ride with our tour guide/MCC worker Nate into the mountains. Elevation = 9,000 feet. We slept at a hotel called K-Fear. Ironic, I know.

Day 3: Our first day out into a village, we brought along Osemar and Juan Pablo, two men working on the projects with MCC.

When we arrived, we walked through some cornfields, and emerged, like in a fairytale, in front of a hut-like house surrounded with bright pink and orange flowers. And there we met my first interviewee of the trip, a 102 year old man and his 75 year old wife! Their son's house was wiped down the mountain by a mudslide...MCC has helped them by providing cisterns which catch the rain and filter it so they could use it as cleaning/drinking water. That's one of the things I reported on.



We got to eat lunch with them – a feeling that I can't really describe. It seemed like almost a holy time, because we had come to serve them by writing their story, and yet they were serving us in return. I had a smile in my heart the entire time.


Day 3 (Tuesday). My favorite village, La Vega del Volcan. If your vision of paradise includes green fields and surrounding mountains flowing with fresh running streams, then I have seen it! Hehe. Of course this place isn't heaven – the people have suffered and struggle daily to supply food for their families', because there's such a small amount of land for each of them – yet the community is gorgeous and peaceful. MCC is trying to work with them to create ways for them to generate income and reap more food. For instance, they've helped to build fish tanks – big cement tanks filled with the fresh water from nearby streams – and filled them with trout. The families will grow the trout and have them to eat and/or sell. You'll see more of this story in the magazine article.
Here's Floriselda, the woman I interviewed, with her cuties. The rocks there behind her used to be cornfields, but were destroyed by the tropical storm.



Day 4 (Wednesday). The village of San Andres Cheoj. One other particularly moving experience for me was being welcomed by all of the community leaders. They all gathered together in their church, sitting on benches in a circle. The "mayor" stood up and welcomed us. We, in turn, stood up one by one and addressed them. Yes, I stood up and spoke in my English, saying something about how I was there to listen to their stories and write about them so that the people in the United States could pray for them and hear about the great hard work they are doing to help their community. Ironic – I am keeping my promise right now as you read this :).

Day 5 (Thursday) – Travel back to Guatemala City. Back to the apartment with running water to take a shower! During those three days in the villages, we slept over at Juan Pablo's house. A "rougher" experience (I know, though not compared to Africa..) because of things like going outside to go to the bathroom and sleeping in layers of blankets (it was REALLY cold up there!).

But I tell ya what, I prefer this way of traveling to simple tourism because you get to spend time in the people's houses and really see what life is like. The scenery is the added bonus. My breath was taken away every time I looked up at the stars. I wish we had as clear a view of the stars as they do...

READ**

On one of the nights while at that house, I was sad because everyone was talking and joking around, but I, the writer who needs to know things, couldn't understand what they were saying! It was exasperating, and most nights I collapsed in exhaustion – trying to understand another language is hard brainwork. You also feel very lonely. God spoke to me on both points. (And thanks, Oswald Chambers devotionals.) First, in the matter of having to work so hard to do a good job, He said, "Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to live up to the vision." I responded by thinking, "The vision that God has given me is to give people hope through my writing. I'm here now with the right circumstances to live this vision out. Here I am, Father and LORD. Thy Will be done in me and through me." In response to the loneliness – which was caused by the fact that everyone I knew was not around and I had no way to contact them – God asked me: "Will you become ill and disheartened, or will you see the LORD?" I chose to see Him :)



Day 7 - Time has gone by sooo slow. One week has felt like two. But time went faster as I entered into the second phase of my trip. Thursday ushered out my time in Western San Marcos and brought me in to a new place – Alta Verapaz, Northern Guatemala. This region wasn't as mountainous, and not nearly as cold as San Marcos – though it did rain more often at night and had a lot more bugs :p. In fact I got sick one day (see below).

Day 8 (Saturday). We stayed with a family - American MCC workers who've lived in Guatemala for 5 years – and have 4 kids. On this day we visited a school and I talked to students – all of them were older than 15 years old, and attending Middle School. MCC pays a portion of the students' tuition – the reason they are all older is that there was never a school in their community, or they were too poor to afford it. We also spent time with girls (who only spoke K'ekchi, an indigenous language) as they were learning how to weave.

Day 9 (Sunday) - Melissa and I had been working hard, every single day, from morning to night. (Journalism is pretty much a 24/7 job). We deserved, and had time for, one day of rest. This day was Sunday. And I was sick: I had gotten an amoeba in my stomach :(. I'll spare you the details. Heheh. Nevertheless, I was determined to join along in the day planned for adventure. We squeezed into our jeep, (6 kids piled into the back) and headed off for Semuc Champey, an excluded area of natural blue-green springs. Natural fresh pools were on different levels of land, separated by waterfalls. We spent hours there swimming, cliff jumping, and walking. What a joy-filled day! Exactly what I needed, exceeding my expectations!





On Monday, I visited and interviewed 19-year-old Ismael. We met his family – and what a welcome we had! Their faces were literally radiating with joy as they talked to us and served us a meal, and they were so excited that we, us North Americans from far away, would come to their home and talk to their son. I've heard about love like this, but wow, it was contagious and I didn't want to leave.



Day 11 – We didn't have much planned for this day. We visited the market and talked to two young ladies, but were thinking of laying low for the rest of the day. But God had something else in mind. We ran into one of Tara's (the MCC worker's) friends while we were there. He invited us out to his village to meet his son. So we decided to make the drive over the rocky roads out there. It turns out that he knew the entire history of the school and literacy program that MCC is working in, and talking to him completed and became the crucial part to my story. Praise God for divine appointments!

Later that day we went to another school where we again spent time with the girls learning to weave. We also got to join in their worship service and listen to them play the marimba. Then they asked us to stand up and say something, so, once again I and the photographer got up in front of this crowd of students to say hi and what a joy it's been to meet them, and a message of encouragement. By this point I was used to this and enjoyed doing it :). (Where was the fear now? :) ).



Another project MCC does is fund the literacy school which teaches reading and writing to anyone who hasn't had any schooling in various communities, mostly mothers and fathers. This is different from the Middle School because it focuses on adults who can't even read one letter of Spanish. Most people speak indigenous languages, and so often when they go to market and everything is in Spanish, they get cheated out of their money and in many other ways. It was neat to see so many adults eagerly learning how to pick up a pen, and hearing how they want to be able to read the Bible to their children.


Our last day in Alta Verapaz. Thanks for sticking with me. Though I was used to the rhythm of the day and life in Guatemala, I still, for some reason, had a very serious attitude toward my work. On Tuesday night though, God reminded me to be thankful. And my eyes opened to the wonderfulness and rarity of my circumstances – and I slept in peaceful bliss that night! And I woke up with a huge smile in my heart that has lasted even until this very moment!

What a difference thankfulness makes in your life. My whole attitude and outlook changed, and I was doing my work with a new fervor of spirit. Be thankful even for the small things.

When Melissa and I returned to Guatemala City and met up with Nate again on Thursday, Nate noticed the difference in my attitude compared to the first week. He said he could tell that I had gotten accustomed to being there.

My new attitude, combined with the new setting of Santiago Atitlan made the last two days my favorite! On Thursday, Melissa, Nate, and I were reunited and talked about the projects going on there over a meal. Afterwards, we met two other men working with MCC. They gave us a tour of the area.

In sum, hundreds of families' homes were destroyed by mudslides that came down from the surrounding volcanoes during Tropical Storm Stan. We saw fields of mud where houses used to be.
Check out how high this mud was.



MCC built new houses for 70 families. The government, who promised new and bigger houses for the people displaced, has yet to build those houses, and it has been two years since the storm hit. What does that mean? It means that people are living in temporary housing that was meant to last them for 10 months. Everyone shares bathrooms, showers, and kitchens, and sadly, it looks like a refugee camp. The government will be building the homes – but it'll probably be another two years before they're finished, :(.
But, thankfully, the families MCC helped have their own living spaces and commodities.

Well after those sobering sights, we had good fellowship time with a family over a meal of corn on the cob with salt and lime. I completed my final interview, which was actually quite humorous, because the woman didn't speak Spanish, which meant that I asked my question in English, Nate asked it in Spanish, and our friend Juan asked the question in Tzutuhil. She would answer in that indigenous language, Juan would say it in Spanish, and Nate would translate it into English. It was fun! -- Even moreso because sometimes Nate didn't get the translation into Spanish right, so another friend of ours had to re-explain the question to Juan. It was a good group effort :). Picture the group of us – English speaking, Spanish speaking, and Tzutuhil speaking men and women sitting on stools and laughing together in a small room lit by one light bulb. Hehe :).

I need to attribute some of my improvement to the amazing people on the trip. Melissa helped me to loosen up and be myself by being goofy herself. Nate and Tara were information machines. I really thank them.

Something great I realized about what I was doing – because the MCC workers were there as I asked the Guatemalans about the positive effects of the MCC projects, the workers themselves learned and I could see on their faces that they were encouraged by hearing the people's thankfulness and how their projects have helped them.

After my last interview that night, the group of us decided to go to a fair taking place in the nearby town. We took a taxi – meaning that we hopped into the back of a pickup truck and stood up while holding onto a metal rig in the center of the bed. It was great because we had the wind blowing in our hair as well as a good view of the stars and the lake.

At the fair Melissa and I jumped on a trampoline – getting many stares from the Guatemalan teenagers staring at the silly "gringas". And then me, Nate, Melissa, and another girl risked our lives on a Ferris wheel which was rusty, rickety, and in some places, held together by ropes!

On Friday, we went to a meeting to speak to women who make beaded jewelry and sell it together. Because the lake is a pretty touristy area, they've been able to make a decent amount of money for their families :).

After that last journalism duty, Nate, Noé, Melissa and I took a boat across the lake. Did I mention that there are volcanoes on either side of it? That's why it attracts a pretty big amount of tourists. Because we were the last ones on the boat, Nate and I got front "seats" on the bow. Then Melissa and I went shopping through the market to buy some nice hammocks – I wanted to get my hair braided but unfortunately could not find anywhere to get it done. Oh well. It was a great short trip to Lake Atitlan.



Do you want to hear more stories? When we got back to Guatemala City on Friday night, Nate, Melissa and I went out to eat at a restaurant owned by a man from Palestine. He reminded me of the stereotypical Italian with his black, slicked back hair and unbuttoned collar, and his mannerisms too. But he sat down and talked with us and offered us some Arabic coffee. Of course we accepted. The result? Melissa and I went up onto the rooftop of the apartment when we got back and were singing and dancing to exert our energy.

In the morning, Shannon, Nate, Melissa, and I had a relaxing Saturday breakfast of pancakes and baked apples. Then Melissa and I headed to the MCC office to take pictures and check email; then Antony, the MCC Guatemala representative, took us to the historic place of Antigua (where Spanish colonists established themselves) to do some more shopping! And we ate at an Italian restaurant after beans and tortillas all week. Haha. A very touristy place. Arabic coffee and Italian food in Guatemala. Good times.

Anyway, Melissa and I had some practice with our bargaining – I made the silly mistake of mispronouncing "dolAres" and instead I said "dolOres". So instead of saying "I don't have dollars" I said "I don't have pain." To that the seller responded with, "Si, tengo dolores" (Yes, I have pain) because I was bargaining too low. Haha :). Both the seller and Melissa were laughing at me. It does make for a good laugh.

After our fun time shopping, we went back to Guatemala City for the last time. Melissa and I showed off our purchases including two colorful wrap around skirts to Shannon, and I decided to froe out my hair, and later Nate came over to hang out for a bit. And as our final goodbye/hoorah, we had fun taking pictures. So here are Shannon and Nate, two of our hosts for the 2 weeks.

"Offer Him the sacrifice of thankfulness...and He will deliver you..."

For lots more pictures, see me :).

Blessings,
JCD

2 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 26 September :: 12.58 am

Endure.
His Love endures.
This life of mine endures
If I so choose to take my place.
Endure forever,
If forever is my home
Into the light
it obliterates the darkness in me.
Steadfast
and the ultimate truth...
forever...
endures.

-JCD 9/26/2005-





P.s... I "hid" a lot of my old stuff on here, so you'll have to let me know if you want to see it in order to read it. :}

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 19 August :: 11.03 pm

Wow. Change.
It's happening in a blink of an eye, like everything familiar is just being yanked away.

I love it, it makes me smile.

But in my weakest moments, I find myself holding tightly to this safe environment here: close friendships, a safe shelter at home, my wonderful room and backyard...
I know that I'll develop those things away at college too but...sigh. I've just begun to be content here, and now, and I've just begun to learn how to be a true friend, and going to that deeper level with my friends, and cherishing them more.
And now I'm leaving.

Hehe. Of course, God would plan it that way.
I am so grateful. He has taught me so much, and this past year has been...wonderful. Jesus Christ has healed my heart, and even now tears flow with gratefulness and joy, because He is teaching me to love. And He has placed the right friendships in my life - even acquaintances I've met through this journal.. but mainly, the faithfulness of my friends and family, and most of all His Faithfulness, has led me to a place where I can say, "yes, I believe. Yes, He heals all wounds. Yes, He is worth living and dying for."
He is just so awesome.

In my human-ness, I go back and forth between wanting to change, and wanting to stay right here, just right where I am. I'm at a good place. And yet, if I just stop here and not let Him take me even more forward - for example, if I were to decide to stay where it's comfortable and where I feel good (like here at home instead of leaving for college.. or - - here spiritually where I'm happy yet not yet refined and intimate with Christ) then I will not be moving forward.
And if I don't move forward, then I'll be stuck here forever.

But He wants to bring me so much further spiritually. I feel it, I feel the pull. But if I back away in intensity, then I will never know Him. And then the day I meet Him and He holds me accountable for my life, I will wish that I could rewind time and live more passionately.
Today, and right here and now, is another opportunity to live even more for Him. To die a little bit more to myself, that I may stand secure on His rock-solid foundation and never falter. And be able to smile as I grasp His Hand.

For isn't that what life is all about? Intimacy with a loving Creator. So when I falter, He is there as my rock. And when everything in my life is stripped away from me, it is just Him and I together.
Yes. I want that.
I must never forget or lose focus off of Him.


So I'm leaving my home town in 6 days. In tenth and eleventh grade, I couldn't wait for this time to come. But I do love my home now. And at the same time, I face this coming week as ready to stand up to any coming challenges. Not on my own strength, but on God's. And with the help of my friends, who I also call family. :}
Awww: mush moment!! I'll miss you all...but it won't be for too long.
:] :]

Love through Jesus Christ,
-Julie Christine

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 28 June :: 4.14 pm

There is a passion, holy and pure, deeper than you've ever felt before.
And I'm chasing it, I'm feeding the flame, for the glory of His awesome Name.
Hallelujah, King of my heart
You've captured my attention, All I can do is look up at You
and sing thanks and praise,
Hallelujah.

I grab Your hand, You pull me up
And You laugh and smile and say,
Yes little one, this is the way.
And I leave fear and regret at Your feet,
Begin this chapter anew and come to know You.

I leave it all behind for You. Place everything on the altar for You.
I'm ready to dance.
Hallelujah.
(-JCD-)

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:: 2005 28 June :: 4.05 pm
:: Mood: sad but hopeful

"I've got questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain.
But there's one thing that I cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true."
(-Tim Hughes-)

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 28 May :: 12.57 am

my Barnes and Noble work schedule

Saturday, 5/28 - 4pm-12am

Sunday, 5/29 - 12pm-8pm (Miss cousin's graduation party and Memorial Day Parade)

Monday, 5/30 - 12pm-8pm (Miss day hiking with Pure Life at Lake Minnewaska)

Wednesday, 6/1 - 5pm-10pm

Friday, 6/3 - 5pm-12am

Saturday, 6/4 - 4pm-12am (miss NYSSMA)

3 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 25 May :: 2.40 pm

I'm frustrated.

More than that, I am thirsty.
I'm unsatisfied with false substitutes for living water.

I drink Him in...
"...in all these things, we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us...
Renouncing all things hidden because of shame..."
Suggested reading
Romans 8:36-39; 2 Corinthians 4

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 23 May :: 3.54 pm

My B&N work schedule for the week of 5/23


5/25 Wednesday, 5-10pm

5/27 Friday, 5pm-12am

5/28 Saturday 4pm-12am

(Note: Store opens 9am & closes at 11pm)

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 15 May :: 5.25 pm


My wish list for graduation gifts (needs and wants; this will be continually updated):

New Digital Camera (higher than 2.0 pixels)
Video Camera
Any pictures you've developed that I may want :p
Photo album(s)

Don't know what I need yet. I still have a few months.

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 29 April :: 12.01 am
:: Music: Third Day Offerings

Romans 8:1
"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1

He approves of you.
He has judged you and declared you innocent.
You are adequate. You are fit for the life He has called you to.
He does not force you to obey Him.
He sentences you to everlasting life.

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 28 March :: 4.31 pm

Self-reminder: Lay it on the altar for God's Grace:

relationships.

1 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 18 March :: 4.10 pm
:: Mood: radiant

Forsake the apathy
Dance with joy!
Love the air you breathe
Dream of heaven
Live to make others smile
Revere the Lord with all your heart
Sing praises to His Name
2/17/2005
:}

1 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 12 March :: 1.56 pm
:: Mood: humble


My actions,
my personality
my heart
speak for themselves.

For all that I long to be,
will become evident on its own...
Without me having to say a word.

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 8 March :: 10.22 pm

Warfare

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:: 2005 24 February :: 11.44 am

I live for this
The girls at my lunch table and I just had a deep
philosophical/theological discussion...
We love talking about this stuff...
It began:

"How can something mean so much to some people, and mean absolutely nothing at all to others?

- It's interesting how faith in God can be a whole entire lifestyle for one person - while another will not even stop to think about God..."
....
"When people go to heaven, I wonder what they look like. - Do they look as they did as an adolescent? As a child? Or the age that they died at?"

"Some people believe that those who are religious believe what they do simply because they are afraid of death."
"That may be true for some people...but it's not the reason of faith for all. Yes, it's true, that I have the confidence of knowing where I am going when I die, but having that confidence is not a result of being afraid of where I would otherwise go."
.......

"I believe in God...but I don't believe that He created the Earth..."
"But there has to be a beginning or origin at some point. Even Plato/Aristotle proved such a law - something can't origin from nothing."
"But then where does God Himself come from?"
"....He is the origin. That is why He is called the beginning and the end; the Alpha and the Omega..."
.....

"Like in the movie A Walk to Remember, I love the quote that says, 'without suffering, there would be no compassion.'...
Although...must there be suffering in order to have compassion? I could still love on someone even if they were not suffering..."
.....

As Rita said the other day - our human perception is so small...we can comprehend so little -
how big is our brain? 5 inches? and geniouses use HALF an inch of brain capacity? How can we possibly comprehend?

Astronomy class - there are 100,000, stars in our one galaxy - and we orbit around one of them. It takes 20 something light years to get to the next closest star (in between each is all just EMPTY space) - and we can't even travel 1 light year away from us -
there are 200,000 galaxies, each with 100,000 stars, that we only KNOW of....

and what is the point of our being?


I feel filthy,
my soul in a daze,
We're talking 'bout God
and oh I'm amazed
and I know, I live for this.

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 20 February :: 7.02 pm
:: Mood: sad

Suddenly all of my words over the past years seem to have been ingenuine;
as if I've always said what I was supposed to say, and not what I wanted to say.

Well - that's not true.

2 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 16 February :: 10.48 pm
:: Mood: trusting

Life changing choices...

The conscious choices that we make.
To know what the better path would be to take --
when the benefits of each decision are the same, the excitement is the same, the amount of desire to take both paths is the same
but Each outcome of our decision is completely different.

In life, when I decide one way, what then do I miss out on by not choosing the other way?

Do I lose one friend and gain another? Do I learn to fly but forget how to swim? In retrospect, are the losses and gains worth it? Is the gain better than the lost... and if not, are the losses truly lost?

When I leave town, will I wish I had stayed?
When I speak up, will I wish I had remained silent?
When I remain silent, will I wish I had spoken up?
When I let go, will I wish I had held on?
When love of friendship is offered, will I wish I was able to (or knew how to) accept it? [yes.]


One thing I will never regret:
deciding to live and die for Jesus Christ.

~"I feel Your grace
come running over every
road
You break the floodgates down and
carry all"~
(-Jars of Clay-)

2 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 13 February :: 10.54 pm

Bible study!

Psalm 87:7

"Both the singers and the
players on instruments say,
'All my springs are in you."


I read this before worship this morning, thought it was pretty cool...

Jesus is our source of living water, of life. ("All my springs are in you.")
He is the source of His presence:
May it flow to us, in us, and through us, and from us;
may we be those springs from which His presence flows out onto others: everyone that we come in contact with every single day, and every church congregation we help usher into worshipping the King.
Amen.

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 12 February :: 12.03 pm
:: Mood: refreshing

warm barefeet!
I'm looking forward to the new life of springtime;

flowers blooming,

and walking around with no shoes and socks on my feet. :}




...I'll be in New Jersey today at my grandparent's house.

1 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 9 February :: 4.29 pm

poem

Paralyzed
with the death of sin
You came and woke me with a holy kiss.

So I'll see the sunrise and smile again,
free in the light.



-JCD-
(not sure if i like the lead in with "So I'll" - any suggestions?)

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 6 February :: 4.32 pm
:: Music: Plumb (Album - Beautiful Lumps of Coal)

Lesson of the day:
Today's lesson.

Do NOT go to the local library by yourself on a Sunday afternoon!
Because, there are men older than you who stare at you with that gleam in their eye.

One dared to come up to me.
Another waited for me outside of the library.

Don't even look at them, because it'll encourage them. Look straight ahead and walk fast.


It wasn't flattering; it made me shudder.

4 When you let Jesus in. | .There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 5 February :: 8.43 pm


(Happy New Year)

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:: 2005 1 February :: 1.02 am
:: Mood: encouraging

glory
When I walked into the church sanctuary tonight as Pure Life was practicing, I felt God's presence... I was compelled to take off my shoes and get on my knees.

It was refreshing. :}

.There is great beauty (leave a comment).


:: 2005 26 January :: 12.54 am


I had no school today, (woohoo) but yet I still managed to spend more than half of my day there. I dropped my friend off there in the morning ... went back to the school at about 12pm because some cable guy wanted to get me and this other kid on T.V. for a town project that we worked on. Ohh yeeah, it was fun, I'll be on tv...but um, I don't like getting put on the spot like that, heh.

So, we finish our interviews and such... I go to buy my Senior Ball ticket (the ball is this Friday, yay :] ) ... then, I start digging through my purse to look for my car key. Not there. I look in my pockets. It's not there. Wonderful...

I go outside, look in my passenger side window of my car, and yes, there is my key still sitting in the ignition. ~Smack in the head~

I would've been home at 1pm, but had to wait at the school and instead was home at 3pm as a result.

Then, I had to back to the school at 4pm to go get my car with my Dad (someone had driven me home) .. and then back to the school I went for a drama meeting.

Bleh. BUT, i must say, afterwards was quite fun, because Mary and I went shopping and we proceeded to buy a dress for the ball for $7. :]

Ran into Dan and Amber, yay, which also meant Mary finally got to meet them!

And oh, yes, I saw Kelly's brother Kevin also, sitting at a booth in the middle of the mall, though I didn't say hi because he didn't see me, I don't think. Hehe, there was a big sign saying, "Se hable espanol" yep.. he lived in Spain for a while; which I admire him for.

Then Mary and i treated ourselves to ice cream... well okay, Mary treated the both of us to ice cream (I had no cash.. I forged my Mom's name using her credit card.. don't worry, she knew..) But yes, the ice cream was delectable. The company marvelous and fun, as always.



As of now, I have an essay to write again...

Ever notice how, the less you do, the less you want to do? (That's a Biblical proverb, btw)

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:: 2005 26 January :: 12.37 am
:: Music: Plumb

In the mood to post pictures :}

Aww..Hi Jamin...


Trip to the city with Nicole!! :-D



This picture will never get old to me. ;) Aren't my friends beautiful??

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:: 2004 20 December :: 6.18 pm

I Just Want To Leave.


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:: 2004 14 December :: 11.17 pm

Lord, come with Your fire
Burn my desires,
Refine me
Lord my will has deceived me
Please come and free me,
Refine me,
Refine me.
-Jennifer Knapp-

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:: 2004 5 December :: 2.51 pm
:: Mood: :}




"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin

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:: 2004 4 December :: 1.10 am

interesting result...

(..'cause it's how i currently feel about it..)


contentment is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

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