oh.. my goodness
the concert was fuckin sweet. you all missed out on something big. not dane cook, i didn't go see him, but whatever. i'm talkin bout 3 doors down, staind, breaking benjamin, and no address. good ass fuckin concert man. i loved it. it was fabulous.

i can't explain how fun that was. i love 3 doors down now lol. i went for staind, came back for 3 doors down.

best part: aaron lewis & lead singer of 3 doors down duet. it was nice. =)

this girl started crying during here without you & when i'm gone. they played a video in the background. it was.. sad. showing all the soldiers and stuff. good concert.

no effing air
only.. 9 more lesson books to do, and i'm done. =)

man, oh man. today sucked lol. i woke up at fuckin 2, then i had to go to work at 2:30. hm, wonderful. so i get there, no air. it's broken. god damnit lol. so then i'm in a bad mood all day. eh, whatever.

after hot ass work, me, debbie, and alyssa went to debbie's house and went in her pool lol. today was debbie's last day. aww. =(

i'm done. lol. i don't feel like doing this anymore.

oh.. man.
i'm not sure of what's going on in my skull, but i don't believe i like it. it's coming too early. like.. way too early. last night it hit me hard. i was talking to j, and he told me to talk about what i was thinkin about, so i did. i just.. kept talkin, tellin him everything that was on my mind. and.. lol. he told me my dad was a dick, but i'd probably end up bein with someone like him. and i told him i probably will be, if the guy is anything like he was before he married satan. then.. j ruined the mood by saying "the spider?"

okay, long story short,
the spider j was referring to
would be the spider that tried to kill me 2 nights ago.
i named it satan.

so then i got out of my bad mood and jus.. laughed. but anyway, it's like.. randomly coming and going. i feel like i'm in 10th grade again.

alright, so i watced rosa parks story today. it was good. i'm gonna watch some of roots later. not all of it, because it's a 10 hour movie. but, some of it. i'll take shifts lol.

anyway, i'm gonna go find a way to cool off cause i'm really fuckin hot sittin here. good day.

i'm ready to fly away
you ever have second thoughts about things? like maybe it is your fault you don't talk to someone anymore, or maybe it's your fault somebody doesnt want you in their life anymore? i did. it was.. a few nights ago, thinkin about goin to talk to jill's mom again. i'm not gonna do that anymore, unless i happen to be walking down the street and there she is, bloop, in the driveway. but anyway, i was thinkin about goin over to jill's to talk to.. her. jill. and last night, when i was with liz, i realized i really don't want to. we went and saw someone working, and somebody else was there and he mentioned her and said a buncha stuff. and its like great, so jill let herself go real nice. getting drunk with her pathetic boyfriend, probably will be pregnant by next year. good job jill. nah, i can't be around someone that's like that. i do it enough with other people. i'm glad she's gone. i'm glad everything that kept a smile on my face is burning me inside now. it makes it that much easier for me to pay the cash i have to so i can go to florida for 4 weeks, then atlanta for 2. once that's done, i have an actual job. i can't wait. and if none of that even happens, which probably won't, because my life is a steaming pile of shit, then i'm going into my second choice in the summer of next year.

growing up is actually really fun if you change the way you look at things.

heh.. driving home from grand rapids last night, i saw hans. that's funny. he was yellin at me from a truck window lol. it made me laugh and think and enjoy being in this area. anyway, i'm done.

ADDiTiON @ 3:50pm
so, if you are a dane cook fan, then i have a proposition for you. i dunno if that's the right word to use, but anyway. august 27th dane cook is having a concert in detriot. my question for you is do you want to go see him? answer me that if you do. tickets are $42.50 i believe. for shipping, handling, and.. that extra shit that nobody really knows what it goes to. let me know.

playin the same songs over & over again
i saw something downstairs.. from a few years ago.
made me think about what i cherish in life.. ya know, what makes me "tick" as people like to ask.

what makes you tick?

nothing.
being empty inside is something that you get used to though..

i think..

if not.. then oh well.
i'll manage to pull something off.

sunday i have an interview with somebody from daytona. he's driving up here. so we'll see what he has to say. i'm not saying for what yet, or why even. some people know, most people that read this don't. probably because..

it's none of your business.

hm.. i might do that
so i was thinkin about going over to talk to jill's mom. i miss her. she's such a sweetheart, and because i don't talk to jill anymore, i don't see her mom. i should jus.. go over there one day and talk to her. but she's usually real busy. i might do it though. when i'm not working. which.. today is my only day off all week, but it's not like she lives far away. but.. i might go talk to her. i'll probably start crying again, but oh well.

heh.. i remember last time i went over there to give jill her card, i was talkin to sandy, and i started cryin cause she made me tell her something. and it was.. bad. i almost said everything, but i only told her one thing. but.. whatever. i'm not getting into it. i just had this urge to talk to her. i still do. so i might go over and talk to her a little bit today. depends.

when i told her that.. thing.. she told me jill wouldn't let somethin happen between us but obviously she did so.. i'll just go over there sometime and tell sandy i tried, but jill's not doing her part so i'm done trying. only way i'm gonna talk to jill about anything anymore is if.. i'm dead, and i go into her dreams and tell her. other than that.. she ruined it. it's alright though. she'll do anything for a guy and that's fine. she can do what she wants.

anyway, i'm done. i'll go talk to jill's mom later about things and then.. probably not write in here what happened cause.. people dont need to know.

sorry.. bored
Name A Song for Each Letter:

A -- angel by shaggy
B -- bad boy this, bad boy that by da band
C -- cold by crossfade
D -- deep end by crossfade
E -- epipihany by staind
F -- fuck you by 50 cent
G -- goodbye to you by michelle brance
H -- hope by twista / faith evens
I -- it was you by ashley ballard
J -- jenny was a friend of mine by the killers
K -- killing me softly by.. them people lol
L -- love song by 311
M -- mouthing off by ludacris
N -- nobody's home by avril lavigne
O -- over and over by nelly - this song blows
P -- peaches and cream by 112
Q -- queen of the night by whitney houston
R -- respect by aretha franklin
S -- stop crying your heart out by oasis
T -- truly madly deeply by savage garden
U -- unbreak my heart by toni braxton
V -- valentine by martina mcbride
W -- wonderwall by oasis
X -- i can't think of anything
Y -- yeah by usher / lil jon / ludacris
Z -- i didnt know there was a song that starts with z