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jedibumblebee (profile) wrote,
on 10-9-2002 at 5:43pm
Current mood: tired
Music: Jack Johnson- Flake
Subject: I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying....
the quiz...
god i hurt so bad...
i hope i'm getting sick
i hope i'm sick
i hope i'm dying

i only ask so i can know
i only look so i can see
i only want so i can have?

i hurt so bad.
and i'm tired....too tired.

and i only read so i can make myself suffer.

i pick and choose..

look at your uploads...text files...the ones that i know will be the most painful to read...
and i make you talk about what i want to hear the least...and you go through all the description and all the details and then i dont know where to go...you tell it like a beautiful story....

all i know...i don't belong in this.

but i cant get out.

and i hurt so badly....
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Anonymous

The Loser, 10-16-02 8:35pm

What is your deal? You can't find some one better than that? What a freakin moron. Do you have any self esteem at all?

(reply to this)

I_am_Jacks_Wasted_Life

Re: The Loser, 10-20-02 4:52pm

And who should she be looking for eh annonymous asshole? An insensitive, cold-hearted bastard like you? I say live it out and move on. Take what you want and leave. There is nothing more you can do as a human anyways bumblebee. Live for yourself and no one else. Besides, a theory once spoken by someone wiser than my self went along the lives of, "Fuck it. Who cares?" It's kept me alive so far.

(reply to comment)


Anonymous

Re: Re: The Loser, 11-09-02 11:31pm

Sometimes (more often than not) the world sucks. But just because at any given time someone is trying to hurt you, does not mean everyone is your enemy. Not everyone sucks. You [I am Jackís wasted life] make me sad. If everyone were to say "Fuck it. Who cares?" the world would become a cold place indeed. As it is the only thing that keeps me getting up in the mourning is the mere fact that someone, someday may care. Granted that I donít know who this person is, but someday I may find that person who makes it all worthwhile. Call me naive but if I find that special someone I wont ever have to wonder ďwhy?Ē I would never have to loss faith ever again. That person will save my soul from the pain I have been going through. I have to believe that I exist for some reason. This reason appears the most plausible.

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I_Am_Jacks_Wasted_Life

Re: The Loser, 11-10-02 8:04pm

Nonsense. In the event that everyone were to say fuck it, who cares, the world would be great. No one would be worried about others expectations etc. People would live only for what they believed in and not what somebody else thinks should be lived for. People would be more free. Life would definitely take a turn for the best. People would still find their "better halves" but it would be more for the right reasons. It wouldn't be a Hs/She will love me because i am going to change something about myself for them. They would be in love because they accept everything about that person. No changes necessary. Any other form of life would have to be (in my opinion)absolutely obsolete. Thanks for the input though, and im sorry if i make you sad. But, then again, fuck it, who cares.

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Anonymous

Re: Re: The Loser, 11-10-02 9:22pm

You {I am jacks wasted life} surprise me. And not in a way that you should be offended, quite the opposite, you made me surprise myself. Thanks you helped me to understand whatís wrong with my life. I, like so many people, try to hard. I however enjoy my life, however unfulfilling it is. Sure I jump through hoops to try to get people to like me, but thatís what Iíve done all my life. I AM A PATHETIC LOSER. However, this is part of my very being if someone were to like me under there own volition, I would probably die. Not because the world would end, but every other person in the past wanted something from me. If in the past it seemed like someone liked me for no reason, in reality they were just hiding their true intentions. Everyone wants something, it just makes it easier for me if they just tell me point blank their goals. Sure I feel like some kind of Trick Monkey but at least talking with a mental prostitute is better than staying in the cold darkness of my own private world.

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I_Am_Jacks_Wasted_Life

Re: Re: Re: The Loser, 11-12-02 2:37pm



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I_Am_Jacks_Wasted_Life

Re: Re: Re: The Loser, 11-12-02 2:44pm

I'm still not sure you're getting the point. You are getting closer though.. Even if you are jumping through hoops like a trick monkey, enjoy it. If that is all that your life has been, and if that is what makes you happy (Stretching due to unfulfilling remark) then enjoy your jumping. Im not telling you how to live, it may sound kind of like it, but as with any other advice it is free to take and choose from. If you can be a part of someones life and give them something, and thats what makes you happy, Fuck it, Who cares? Hand out another hoop to jump through. This goes along with be happy with what you do. At any and all times. (By the way, my dark world suits me just fine, so well... you know...)

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jedibumblebee

Re: Re: Re: Re: The Loser, 11-15-02 10:28am

i am so confused by you.

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