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:: 2004 16 December :: 4.56 pm

I enjoy my jobs, even if it's going to be a hard schedule to manage in a while.

I was happy today. I spent time with one of the most important people in my life. I then supervised seventh graders on microscopes. we found paramecium, amoeba, volvox, and something else. it was enjoyable. <3 this was all volunteer work. tomorrow I'm going to go enter grades into the computer for another teacher. she's getting married at the end of january and wants to spend winter break planning. it's understandable.

do you know what it's like to have people ripped out of your life before you can show them just how much potential you two have?

I was given christmas presents, today. told not to open them until Christmas. I may or may not wait. I'm trying to respect the wishes of the people who did that. but since I cried and felt so awful, I opened one of the cards. <3 I know these people have good intentions. but man, it's hard.

I've also convinced my grandmother and step-grandfather to come over for Christmas Eve, and to drive up to Ventura to visit my aunt and cousins for Christmas. This will be a first. never in my life has my grandmother come over for a holiday. I didn't want to be unfair to the cousins and try to keep my grandmother to myself. so I suggested we do the big dinner on christmas eve, and then they go spend christmas with more family. <3

I love to spread holiday cheer. I do.

catch a falling star

:: 2004 14 December :: 10.25 am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Break Away, Kelly Clarkson.

so I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
so I was at the junior high today. observing to see what I'd be doing and such. well at the second hour, I just stepped in. I facilitated the tutorial for the science group. that was pretty interesting.

would it be more advantageous for a factory to be a plant cell or an animal cell? explain.

yeah. some of the questions were strange. one of the other tutors came over and tried to get the girl going on numbers of people/cells that would work. but that was so off. she writes down the answer, and I questioned it. so after lots of discussion and questions and looking through the textbooks, we decided plant cells are self-sufficient, since chloroplasts turn sunlight into energy and food. but animal cells have the golgi complex that transports food/materials into the cell and waste/other materials out of the cell. so plant cells are more advantageous. but, whew!

when we talked about diffusion [a transfer of a substance that's highly concentrated to one that's less concentrated], I related it to those frozen cans of juice concentrate!

Thus, I officially work TWO jobs. <3 ten hours a week with the boy scouts, and eight hours a week with the school district - but only seven hours this week.

and now, it's time to go grocery shopping for the parents.

catch a falling star

:: 2004 13 December :: 6.19 pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: come on closer, Jem.

your reaction to my action is what I want to see.
this song is so amazingly slutty. but damn, it's good. <3

I hung out with the most important people in my life yesterday, and one of them again - today. <3

I'll be starting my second job, probably Wednesday. But I'm going in tomorrow to get a feel for things.

I feel as if I am Santa, lately. I'm trying my darnedest to get gifts under the tree and the stockings filled. It's not very easy at all. I just want us to have a real Christmas. This is probably our last one together as a family.

And grades. Only four teachers have posted them. I have an A in biology, an A in bio lab, a B+ in ige 120 [consciousness and community], and a B in debate. Math is all that's missing. That should be a B, unless I miraculously pulled off an A with all of my missing homework. It's possible. <3 But once you consider how much I manage in my life, I try very hard to excuse my poor grades this quarter - in hopes of doing better next quarter. We shall see.

catch a falling star

:: 2004 9 December :: 7.45 pm
:: Music: the science of selling yourself short, less than jake

the king's behind the counter, serving coffee to James Dean
Tonight I attempted to prove to my grandmother that our part of the family can get along. I juggled managing ten tasks, and had a very difficult time getting the siblings to do much of anything. so what have I learned? when work is accomplished, I am never credited. When things are not perfect, I am immediately at fault. Never trust my sister to make crumb topping for apples. and no matter how clean the house is, how relaxing the setting should be, and how many teeth are pulled to make the family dine together - the meal will never be enjoyable.

but I tried, and after all - isn't that what counts?

It is so hard for me to find a person I am comfortable around, someone who will accept me for me. because of everything I am, I am not like most girls.

James Dean administered my TB test, yesterday. California law mandates that people working at schools be tested within 60 days prior to employment. I lost the results from my prior TB test, and the clinic could not find their copy, either. So another $15 down the drain and the second time being poked with a needle. I think I'll need a third one in a month or two, for my TED classes at the university. Sigh.

catch a falling star

:: 2004 8 December :: 4.54 pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: Somewhere Down On Fullerton, Allister.

here's to new beginnings, the second time around? :)
the account "blair" used to be something like user number seven. it's been a long time. I lazily never sent in the $2 to Andy, and so it's all gone. Which I figured was good enough, anyway. but thanks to the wonderous silvos, I am now back. <3

for the record, I would like to state that of all the books John Grisham has written, Skipping Christmas is definitely the worst. It is written from such an extreme egotistical and ethnocentric point of view. I would be ashamed to pen my name to such context. I had to read it, you use an uncommon name like mine and pair it with an uncommon dream of joining the peace corps, and I do get a little weirded out.

This is finals week. Two finals down. Bio is tomorrow. I have stressed myself into a state of neurotic-ness over the two bio midterms, and have an A average on them both. But now is the final, as long as I pull off my good streak - I'll ace the class. :)

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