I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again. I wish that I could stay, but you argued. More than this, I wish you could've seen my face in the backseat staring out the window. I'll do anything for you. Kill anyone for you. So leave yourself intact, 'cause I will be coming back. In a phrase to cut these lips: I love you. The morning will come in the press of every kiss, with your head upon my chest. Where I will annoy you, with every waking breath until you decide to wake up. I earned through hope and faith, all the curves around your face, that I'm the one you'll hold. Forever. If morning never comes, for either one of us, then this I pray to you. Wherever. I'll do anything for you. This story is for you. 'Cause I'd do anything for you. Anything you want me to for you. Kill anyone for you. So leave yourself intact, 'cause I won't be coming back. In a prase to cut this lips: I love you. The morning will come in the press of every kiss, with your head upon my chest. Where I will annoy you, with every waking breath until you decide to wake up.

 

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I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

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spinder

:: 2014 25 October :: 10.16am

I tend to be very hesitant about claiming good things have happened. I've had so many amazing interviews that never panned out that my general reaction to positive things is that life is just trying to play a trick on me.

In a phrase to cut these lips


spinder

:: 2014 6 March :: 6.39pm

Cancer update: Still sucks. Dont get it.
Mortality is an odd concept. When faced with someone you love keeling over it looms large in your mind. It changes alot of how you feel about your own life.

When the protagonist of that story rolls off her death bed and decides to keep living its really a bit jarring. I'm not complaining, its wonderful, but to a certain extent I was very ready to deal with Gloria's death. A lot of mental turmoil goes into preparing for that. For the time being, though, I can continue pretending everyone will continue living forever.

I just realized something while I was typing this. Now I know which of my parents I get my procrastination streak from.

Ahhaha... Dont judge; She'd laugh.

4 I love you | In a phrase to cut these lips


m&ms487

:: 2014 17 February :: 9.27am
:: Mood: pensive

I'm twenty-six and probably buying a house in a few months.

In a phrase to cut these lips


m&ms487

:: 2013 15 September :: 8.47pm
:: Music: Man on Fire-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

PhDing and teaching. It involves lots of reading. And grading. Eventually, there will be writing. This year marks my 4th academic publication, and 2014 will hold conference presentations 7-9 at major conferences.

I really hope there will be some semblance of a good job at the end of all of this.

1 I love you | In a phrase to cut these lips


m&ms487

:: 2013 31 July :: 3.18pm

We move to Indiana in five days. I start my PhD in two and a half weeks.

1 I love you | In a phrase to cut these lips


spinder

:: 2013 20 March :: 2.13am

No really.
Don't get cancer.

In a phrase to cut these lips


spinder

:: 2013 9 March :: 1.01am

Generally, when people have stage four cancer they freak out a little bit. They emotion dump. Something.

Aside from beating it back as best as possible, my mother seems to be generally more concerned with other people freaking out. I think the fact that she has described chemo as "sort of fun" and stage IV cancer as "One of the worse ones, I'm not sure, I don't think it goes to V" kind of highlights why she's one of the few people in life I'd rather not have die of cancer right now.

She's always been intensely unconcerned with what the world thinks is important. She had kids, grew some gardens, and now she's likely dieing. Why the hell is everyone so concerned with this?

The way you act, the way you live, the way you die is all up for scrutiny. Its nice to see someone saying to hell with it and just enjoying the ride.

Its just not so nice when its your mother. I cant tell If I can pull off her particular brand of life philosophy right this instant.

2 I love you | In a phrase to cut these lips


spinder

:: 2013 28 February :: 8.45pm

I'm beginning to think that what you give up on in life is far more defining than what you acquire, or what you have lost.

What you acquire is rarely tied to any rational explanation. What you lose is even more random. What we give up intentionally is perhaps the one choice we can say is our own. Less influenced by things outside of our intentions.

I imagine we mostly lump giving up on a thing with a loss of a thing. Perhaps I'm splitting hairs best left whole, perhaps not. Its interesting to look at things from my life and decide which was which. What did I cast aside, and what has life cast aside without my input?

Sometimes life removes something important and you realize just how long its been since you cast it aside with disinterest and apathy. Even if the day before you wouldn't have described it in such a way.

Family is like that. You get a call and the word "cancer" makes you think about how little you've kept in touch.

In a phrase to cut these lips


spinder

:: 2013 20 February :: 9.07pm

Seems about as good a point in time to give up on life as any.
---------------------
edit- Touche. Very funny life. Very funny.

In a phrase to cut these lips


spinder

:: 2013 25 January :: 12.13am

Don't have the friends in this city to pull off being an alcoholic.

Say what you will about em, at least they find a way to keep themselves busy.

3 I love you | In a phrase to cut these lips

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