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All over a bowl of bitter beans

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:: 2010 15 September :: 1.14 pm

So I brought my iMac into Apple to be fixed at 10 in the morning on Sunday. They told me it'd take one to three days. I just called to check on the status of my computer, and they told me they haven't even touched it yet.

.. seriously, guys? I'm grateful as hell for this beautiful computer but why my father didn't just go with a Dell, I'll never know. I've only had it for four months and it already just stopped working. I've never had ANY problems with any single Dell computer I've ever owned in my entire life. Never had a virus, random blue screen of death, nothing. Ever. Four months into my first Apple and this shit happens. MEH.

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:: 2010 10 September :: 3.13 am
:: Mood: accomplished

I just put Blind Melon and Smashing Pumpkins on a Pandora station and got a Brand New song.. weird.

I'm bored and my mind won't stop racing, so I might as well..
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:: 2010 10 September :: 1.36 am
:: Mood: bored

For some reason my fucking iMac won't turn on. I went to move the monitor yesterday and accidentally pressed the power button like I always do, so the computer shut down. When I went to turn it back on, the system made noises as if it was starting up but the speakers don't make any noise and the monitor stays completely off.

I don't know what to doooo. I googled and got instructions on resetting some shit, idfk I just had to press some buttons at the right time which I did a million times and nothing happened. I don't know if I should bring it into geek squad or what. I don't know about sending it into Apple because I don't wanna wait THAT long for it anddd my dad bought it for me as a graduation present, so I'm not quite sure if he got insurance with it or if he has like, an account with them.. I JUST DON'T KNOWWW.

I wish it'd just work, magically.

I feel like my days have been so messed up because I've spent so much time down at my sisters, which is where I am right now. I don't have my own little space like I always have in my room at my computer desk. Tonight I was planning on going upstairs, cleaning my entire room and just relaxingggg by myself in my own room all night. Now that can't happen 'cause I don't have a computer to entertain myself with. :3

Hmm.. my grandma's kitty finally came back today. I spent a little bit with her then locked up the house, so hopefully she won't be getting back out. I feel so stressed out. I have sooo many dishes to do because me, Matt, Sarah, Mike, and anyone else that I've brought here have just destroyed the entire kitchen and the rest of the house. She comes back on Saturday so I have some intense cleaning to do, amongst other things. Like my laundry :\ All of my clothes are on a gigantic metal rod thing, all messed up and cluttering up my entire room. I don't know what to do with it. I have no furniture and my closet is piled up with shit because apparently I'm a closet hoarder.. lawl, get it, closet. yeah anyway.

I just need everyone to get the fuck back home so I can get on with my normal daily routine.


:: 2010 8 September :: 5.23 pm
:: Mood: discontent

So I dropped my grandma off at the airport yesterday, which means I'm now in charge of six different cats.. not including my own two that I've been neglecting, which makes eight.

The sunrise was BEAUTIFUL yesterday, I managed to get a few shitty pictures from my phone.

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Seriously, you'd think that a $500 blackberry would have a better camera.

Anyway. I went to check on her cat for the first time today and she had already managed to get out of the house. My grandma told me it gets out through the AC in the window, so she taped the sides shut and when I got there the tape was torn up on the floor. I didn't have the patience to wait there any longer than 20 minutes for it to come back, so I left the window open. I hope he's fucking back when I go later or I really don't know what I'll do. That poor cat just recently suffered a really bad neck injury, and now it's back out in the wild probably getting beat up again by other cats. It fucking stresses me out to no end because there's NOTHING I can do.

I'd wait there all day for him to come back, but my grandmother is a hoarder. Her house is so dirty... I just can't handle being in there for any longer than I have to. Makes me a fucking anxious mess like I've been ever since I've been in charge of all these damn cats.

All I can do is sit and hope that it's alright and will get back inside safely AND STAY THERE until I return. =l


:: 2010 6 September :: 3.04 pm
:: Mood: kitties. everywhere.

ugh I've been cat-sitting for my sisters five cats in her apartment downstairs from my house. This is only the third day and I really can't take it anymore. One of her cats, Babygirl, is handicapped. She was shot at by our fuckbag of a neighbor so one of her legs is fake and can't be bent. Her other cats are Nigga, Sampson, Charlie, and Musha. Musha is the baby who needs a lot of love like Babygirl, so Musha and Babygirl are supposed to be kept out in this room, while there's a gate up in the kitchen so that Nigga and Sampson can't reach them while I'm not around.

Matt and I tried sleeping in her room both nights that she's been gone. The first night he was passed out drunk so he doesn't remember me getting up every five seconds because of Nigga getting through the gate or because I hear Babygirl crying and I walk outside and Nigga's hissing at her.. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. And me being the worrisome loveable kitty person that I am.. I just feel so terrible. I know I can't just leave them all together for Babygirl's sake but then I felt terrible locking them up in the kitchen, plus they'd just break the gate within 15 minutes anyway.

This is just.. stressful. I was up until 5 in the morning until I finally got them all where they're supposed to be, put the gates up, and went upstairs to my own bedroom finally. Of course I came down this morning and Nigga got through the gate yet again. *sigh* Only one more week of this.

My grandma's going away tomorrow too, so not only do I have to pick her up by 6:30 in the morning, but I have to watch HER cat, too.


:: 2010 5 September :: 5.36 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

It's kind of ironic how after I posted that entry earlier today, I started talking to Sarah and she kind of feels the same as me right now. Sam and Ariana went on a ~spontaneous~ trip to go see Stone Temple Pilots earlier today and apparently Sarah's pissed because they excluded her from it. If there's anything I've learned in the past 3 years of being in a group of four teenage girls who are best friends.. is that you can't rely on any single one of them. One of them will always be closer with the other, and that will change continuously. You will hate every single one of them at some point in your friendship. But for some reason, you can't just cut them out of your life. Because they've been your best and your only friends ever since your old ones disappeared.

I think all of this is only true for the very unique group of friends I have. They all have their own problems, and I could go into that with much more detail but I won't, because this is public and some part of me will feel bad if they ever saw this. I just know that I can't truly rely or trust any single one of them. I don't know about you, but I think that going through a good period of time where you're growing up with people that you can't trust.. I think that'll do something to you. Like I just said to Sarah, I've taught myself to never expect less than a raging dickhead, as she says. I won't give you the chance to fuck me over because I already expect it to happen. I also won't give any genuine person a chance because I can't tell the difference anymore.

All I know is that I trust, depend, and completely rely on only myself and my boyfriend that has been with me since I was 13 years old. And like I said earlier, I'm okay with that. But Sarah, Sam, and Ariana will still be around, because I'm always gonna hang out with them when there's nothing else to do and they're willing. They're fun and all, but I've learned exactly what role every single person in my life plays.

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:: 2010 5 September :: 2.42 pm
:: Mood: sleepy

I know if I had some more friends on this site and actually had active journals to read, I'd update more often. But it's awkward commenting on a random strangers personal thoughts.

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:: 2010 5 September :: 2.08 pm
:: Mood: bored

Wow, I can't believe this journal is five years old. I'm 18 now. I always forget about this place and end up coming back to look around. I don't know why I never update. I should probably start, cause my livejournal is just filled with a whole bunch of nothing.

My 'friends' are currently ignoring me. It seems they're only interested in answering me when they want something. Like if Sam eventually needs a ride home, and she knows her boyfriend Jimmy won't bring her. Sarah only wants to hang out if Ariana isn't free, and for some reason I'm never invited. They tell me I can never chill because I'm always with Matt, yet Matt works every day until 8 at night and I spend most of my time at my house, alone until then.

Whatever, I don't take that shit to heart anymore. I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to have another ~best friend~ besides my incredible boyfriend, and I'm okay with that. It just sucks that he always has to work. Like right now, I'm sitting in my sisters apartment downstairs from my house. The door's open, the sun's shining, it's beautiful out. It'd be nice to have Sam, Ariana, or Sarah here to enjoy the weather, light up a few bowls, listen to music. Instead I'm doing the same thing alone. It gets boring.

Same thing with my boyfriends group of friends that I hang out with. They get boring. Every night we're either at Tim's or at Steve's. Steve's house is fun. Beer pong, usually a lot more people than just the 5 or 6 of us. Tim's we just relax, smoke, order food, and end up watching them play a stupid video game until 3 in the morning.

And as far as I'm concerned, that's all there is to do around here. Everyone else that I know has gone off to college, and we're the only ones left here at RCC.

I don't even know why I'm writing all of this. I'm just bored. I'm probably gonna end up visiting my boyfriend Matt at work for his lunch break cause Sarah's apparently working from now until 8, too. I know, all of this is adding up I NEED TO GET A JOB. I just don't know where. I know I'm WAY too picky about where I want to apply to. That has to enddd.


:: 2008 16 May :: 12.12 pm
:: Mood: good


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