friends | profile | guestbook

Time Will Tell

recent entries | past entries

:: 2007 30 December :: 2.24 pm
:: Mood: Sick

Flu...I hate it. I dont like throwing up especially when I cant control it. I feel better now. But I still feel like crap.

Chrissy I envy your trip to Kansas, it has to be warm and enjoyable and I want to be there. But I just miss you. So much to say and so little time to say it.

Jon is over right now to play video games with Mike. It is almost weird. Almost.

1 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 24 December :: 3.43 pm
:: Mood: Achy/content
:: Music: Green Day

Contentness...I think it is a Good Thing...

I am content....

I came to this realization last night. I may not be the perfect weight, size, intelligence or girlfriend but nobody is. I realized that it is not about what I think I should be but what I am to everybody else. To everybody else I am beautiful and smart. To him, I am everything that he could ever want. I like that. He tells me everyday. I really like that.

I may have a different opinion tommorow but today this is what I think.

2 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 17 December :: 10.10 am
:: Mood: sick

Almost done....I can hardly wait.

I dont feel very well today. My breakfast did not want to work in my favor today and ended up exiting the way it came in. As much as I want to believe that I have a fever...........I probably dont. But I feel like crap. My back hurts and I shoulder is killing me and I am just a whiner but when I dont feel well thats the way I get.

So close to being done....

I like him. I realize that.

3 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 11 December :: 9.13 am
:: Mood: Tired

"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you can eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together"

-Marilyn Monroe

Thank you Chrissy

2 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 4 December :: 9.17 am
:: Mood: exhausted

The end is near but not soon enough. I want to keep going and I force myself to everyday. So close yet so far away. But the end is soon and I anticipate every morning.

If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 27 November :: 12.04 am
:: Mood: content

Portions for Foxes Lyrics
Artist(Band):Rilo Kiley

There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And It's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief
When the loneliness leads to bad dreams
and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you
and I call you and say "C'MERE!"

And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

And it's bad news
Baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news

'Cause you're just damage control
for a walking corpse like me - like you

'Cause we'll all be
Portions for foxes
Yeah we'll all be
Portions for foxes

There's a pretty young thing in front of you
and she's real pretty and she's real into you
and then she's sleepin' inside of you
and the talkin' leads to touchin'
then touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And it's bad news
I don't blame you
I do the same thing
I get lonely too

And you're bad news
My friends tell me to leave you
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news

That you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
I like you

For some reason this sums it all up. For some reason.

If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 3 November :: 9.07 pm

Just another day...

I really wanted to come to Ohio. Dont get me wrong, I am overjoyed to see my Aunt Betsy and the rest of my mothers side of the family that I so rarely see but at the same time I could have just as well stayed home and studied. I prolly wouldnt have done much studying but still. This is riduculous. Everybody is doing there own little thing with the people they ALWAYS spend time with. It is actually rather annoying. I could have gotten alot of things done this weekend. No big deal I suppose. The concert for my Grandpa is tommorow at 4pm so after that is a long way home. Hopefully I will sleep most of the way like I did coming to Ohio. Sleeping makes the trip seem less agonizing. Sometimes I wonder if not getting very much sleep is a good thing cause it really pays to be exhausted when travelling and you arent the one driving. Anyways, I watched my sister play at her volleyball game againest Ashland University in Ashland today. They won all three games. Ashland was ranked #9 in the nation and Hillsdale was ranked #13 I think but who knows now. She was happy to see me. She was happy to talk on the phone the night before as well. I think she misses me. Thats cool. I had a feeling that she would, sometimes I kinda miss her too.

I am still as bubbly as ever. I stop and think about like have before and that usually detours me from how I want to feel. But this time it hasnt and I hope that it doesnt. I was even told how it really wasnt worth pursueing based on how his life is and usually I would listen especially since it was coming from him but this time it didnt matter. I really like this feeling and I can only hope that it is going to stay for a while.

If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 7 27 October :: 9.04 pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Our Song-Taylor Swift

Oh Goodness...

I am so very bubbly right now. I love it. I deserve this. I really do. My cheeks still hurt but I can definately live with that. I am so happy.

Oh so very Bubbly.

3 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 24 October :: 11.39 pm
:: Music: The Judds

Oh What am I To Do.................Brush My Teeth

I am still one happy cookie with homework up the wazoo and energy that is not being expended like it should be. Tommorow is another day and hopefully another one of smiling so much that my cheeks hurt. I have had a good five days of cheek hurting smiles.

I love it.

If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 24 October :: 12.04 am
:: Mood: Fantastic
:: Music: Same song...I really like it

MMMMMMMM...Olive Cheese.

What a great way to end my night.

If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 18 October :: 9.30 am
:: Mood: seductive/tired

Change is good. But how much change and I willing to do before I say it is enough. Not too much more I suppose. I dont have much to change. Just little things about myself that piss people off but I cant help that. That situation is something that everybody has to work around. Eventually it will become a learned fact of what not to do when I am pissed off. Your best bet is to leave alone unless I look unto you for support or guidence but otherwise dont bother.

What about me drives you crazy?

I should move the horses back down to the barn. I dont like them being out in the pasture without shelter. The only problem is that their pasture is saturated with water and I dont want them standing in it. So basically it is a lose-lose situation. I dont want the horses be outside without shelter but I dont want to move them back to the barn and deal with hoof absesses. I suppose I should just go with the latter of the two. I would rather have a hoof absess than not have them at all. They are so fricken cute though. I love to snuggle with them. We miss each other. They may come running when I call but I know it is for more than just the carrots that I have in my hand. I am sure of it. But they do love me. Even Sierra. She is just a snuggler. Kind of dingbat sometimes but for the most part she is pretty cool. I am glad we decided to keep her. She is going to make and amazing horse when I get my butt going and keep her on a training schedule. Next spring is the big break. I will get Sierra going to start training her with the cows. I will keep Pete in the best shape of his life for showing and trail riding. I want to do alot of that with him. Trail riding. Keep the showing to a minimum, just because it is hard on him. He loves to show and I will continue to show him. Just not as much. He seemed to get tired this year but we also showed almost every weekend too. My plan is to also get Johnny back in shape and just casually ride him. He feels so much better when he is in shape. I love it when he runs around and plays because he feels good.

Everything happens for a reason, I just wish I knew what that reason was sometimes.

1 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 10 October :: 7.08 am
:: Mood: fidgety
:: Music: Sara Evan: As If


Petey ran a flawless Pole Bending pattern!!!! It was absolutely amazing. I wish it were captured on video because just riding him felt just incredible. He raced down there turned perfectly, had flawless flying lead changes and manged to keep him speen through the entire event. I can even begin to explain the rush of excitement I got. He may be old but damn he still has it. I felt like I was riding a professional rodeo horse. I dont know what that feel like but he was it if I knew. We ended up taking 7th or 8th in Pole Bending but that was in an open class out of 32 riders. Hot damn!! The rest of the day went well, we took home a 1st and a 3rd. Had issues before cloverleaf but we soon worked it out. Texas Flag would have been perfect but we missed the bucket. I so want to have another show just to feel that rush again.

I realized somthing when I went for my walk after my run:

Perfection has been standing right in front of me, What I have wanted for so long has always been there and I found what I was looking for when I never even bothered to look for it.

How strange to think that everything falls in to place even when we believe that everything is falling apart.

4 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 27 September :: 10.45 pm
:: Mood: nervous
:: Music: Classical

A bathe.

The one thing I never take because of time restrictions. Well I am making time for it tonight.

I deserve one.

7 zoos are out of control | If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 26 September :: 3.00 pm
:: Mood: Elated


Absolutely perfect.

If Giraffes Could Fly.....

:: 2007 24 September :: 1.23 am

May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

If Giraffes Could Fly..... | Random Journal