Estuans Interius Ira Vehementi

:: 2016 22 August :: 5.33pm

I don't feel like adulting today.

rayray

:: 2016 22 April :: 12.14pm

Today marks one month since the accident. I am finally feeling relief after going to the chiropractor. I am still recovering though. Occasionally I have brain fog, or things get fuzzy and I have a hard time focusing. Everyday I am even more grateful that my baby was unharmed in the accident. Last week was the first time that she had even asked questions about the accident. I knew it was going to happen, and I didn't press her after the accident because I was waiting for her to be ready. After the accident she asked what happened one time. And it was literally the first thing out of her mouth after we stopped. From that point on, all she would say was "I hate that lady's car for hitting us. She's a bad driver. I hate her driving". I would always reassure her that the only thing that mattered was that we were okay. I have been trying hard to not harbor anger over the whole ordeal. I am pissed that she wrecked my car. I am pissed that I am still recovering. But the fact that even after all that, my child is okay, makes me not want to hang onto those feelings of anger or hatred. Reagan could have been killed, or severely injured. She could have had cuts ALL over her body from all the glass. She could have been covered in glass, but for some reason she wasn't.

liz

:: 2015 12 October :: 11.37pm

I registered for classes today. Going back to school for a degree in library science. Im pretty excited bout this change. It's gonna take a long time but I'm pretty thrilled about the thought of getting out of retail and I think library science is something that I'll really enjoy. And I'll at least know that I'm taking steps to be happy in the long run.

:: 2015 26 July :: 1.02pm

Ella is 7 weeks old already, dont know where the time goes. I went back to work, which was lot harder then I thought. I know Jordan will take good care of her, but so hard to be away from her that long. Took Ella camping for the first time this week. She did really well and loved spending time with family. Her jaundice has cleared up so no more worrying about that. Her newborn pictures turned out great. She's sleeping 7 hours a night already. Shadow is adjusting very well. Me and Jordan went on our first date night last night and pretty much just talked about Ella. Lol. Loving this new chapter of my life.

:: 2015 2 July :: 3.40pm

Ella is finally here. She came 2 week and a couple days earlier. She is a tiny little thing, but so cute. Shes doing well for the most part, besides coming down with jaundice a couple of times now. Doctor doesnt seem to be concerned so trying not to worry. Starting back on the bili blanket tonight. She is a happy baby most of the time and sleeping well for the most part. I got 5hrs last night :). I love watching Jordan wit her, she totally has him wrapped around her finger already. I was looking forward to all my time off work, but quite bored. I have no idea how people dont work. My house has never been so clean and organized. Ella got newborn picutes last weekend, I cant wait till we get them back. I love being a mom. Never knew I could love someone so much. I love just watching her. So excited for this next journey in my life.

:: 2015 3 June :: 4.59pm

Ella could be here any day now, I'm so excited. Dialed to 3, baby sitting low, lost mucous plug, effaced, thinned out, and softened. Been having contractions on and off all week. I just want something to get stronger or water to break. I'm so ready to meet out little girl. Jordan been working lots of 0T to save up for maternity leave. Got the nursery all ready. Having my big family baby shower this weekend, only a few things I need right away. Feeling ready :)

:: 2015 21 May :: 5.50pm

Less that 5 weeks till my due date, I cant believe we are this close. I cant believe she is still in there with all times she has tried to come out. She already has so much stuff and clothes. She is definitely spoiled with having three grand parents. So glad Jordan back to working, a lot stress. So excited for Ella to be here and to have the whole month of July off work. I got my mom hair cut, so I'm ready for her to be here. I finally gained some weight, only took 35 weeks. Hopefully I will lose most of it after she comes out. So Excited :)

:: 2015 18 April :: 3.01pm

Just had our birthing class. I cant believe how close are we are to meeting Ella. So excited for her to come. I have the gestational diabietes, which sucks. I feel like I'm pregnant and on a diet. Hopefully I can just control it with diet so I don't have to take insulin. Jordan lost his job, so thats stressful. He had a interview for a way better job so hopefully he gets that. Ready for June.

:: 2015 7 April :: 4.23pm

Well I had a really good month of pregnancy. No trips to the hospital. Unfortunately I failed my diabetes test so I now have gestational diabetes. Just another risk factor for her to come early. Still not gaining any wt, but doctor isnt worried. Very tired, but low hemoglobin will do that. My husband just lost his job, trying not to stress. Hopefully he will find something better soon. Already has a interview this week. Ready for June.

:: 2015 11 March :: 2.52pm

Well hoping for a better month of pregnancy. Made 6 trips to the hospital last month. Thank god I have insurance and Medicaid. Bill only 3.75. So thankful that my job is being so supportive and nice with all my time off work. Hoping for no more problems. So excited for it to be June and Ella to be here.

joeydomina

:: 2015 3 March :: 3.18am

Holy jeez. I still have this. I live!

:: 2015 19 February :: 5.56pm

Pregnancy is way harder then I ever thought, bringing life into the world is so hard. I'm finally out of the sick stage, longest 3 months of my life. Now I'm starting the back pain stage. Had another trip to the hospital last week for bleeding again, but she's still doing good. Just wish my cervix would get in check. So ready for it to be June so I can meet Ella. I have so much stuff for her already, shes going to be so spoiled. I'm so proud of how much my husband has stepped up around the house and to help me. I couldn't ask for a better partner during pregnancy. So ready for June :)

:: 2014 23 September :: 4.42pm

Summer is over, hopefully winter wont be so bad this year. I started my new job. Loving the new hours. Not sure what do with all my free time now. Still working on trying to have a baby, taking longer then I thought. Just have to remind my self its only been 3 months. Excited for the future.

:: 2014 20 September :: 11.41am

things that make me not want to get married
1. the wedding.

3 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2014 25 August :: 9.10pm

possible road trip next summer.

2 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2014 23 June :: 9.24pm

Summer is going by way too fast. I swear I have every weekend off booked already. Next month marks baby making time, so excited. Hopefully it wont take too long. I didn't get the first shift job. I just keep telling myself it will save me lots of money on day care. So excited for our future.

2 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2014 24 April :: 8.50pm

Had a really good job interview today for a doctors office job. They invited me back tomorrow to shadow. I'm hoping this is a good sign. I really want a mon-fri job on 1st shift. Hopefully I get it and its not too much of a pay cut. The honeymoon was great. So much Sun and food. So hard go back to work. Looking forward to the future.

:: 2014 16 April :: 7.19pm

So the wedding went great, no problems the whole day. The wedding was so much fun. So nice to see everyone all together family and friends. Had so much fun dancing. I cant wait to see all my wedding pictures. It was so nice of the photographer to set up a shoot in the hall and from what I have seen you cant even tell. Many pictures to come. The honeymoon so was also very nice. So warm, nice, good food, and great time. Now back to work :(

:: 2014 14 April :: 9.48pm

things i should be doing right now:

getting ready for bed

things i'm actually doing right now:
my taxes

Procrastination: Hard work might pay off later, being lazy pays off now.

2 slinked away | face the fox

m&ms487

:: 2014 17 February :: 9.27am
:: Mood: pensive

I'm twenty-six and probably buying a house in a few months.

:: 2014 4 February :: 9.55pm

Two months till the wedding. Its so close. Sending invitations this week. So excited for my bridal shower. So excited for our future. Many big things happening this year.

:: 2014 14 January :: 12.12am
:: Mood: frustrated

So things have been going terrible lately. I had a terrible day at work Friday. Don't remember the last time I was yelled at so many times. I just felt completely worthless and could not do anything right. My self esteem was in the toilet by the time I left. I was expecting to get in some kind of trouble today at work, but instead no one said anything. So I guess that's good. Then I wake up Saturday morning ready go to the bridal show to get some last things done for the wedding. Which I feel really behind on and stressed about how much money it cost. The basement flooded. So spent the whole Saturday cleaning up water. So happy for my family and jordans dad and stepmom that spent there whole day helping clean it up. Pretty sure the carpet is ruined though. Good thing my home owners insurance will pay for it but have to pay a 500 deductible. I feel like my house smells so bad. I just cant wait for this to be over. Between this and being screwed by taxes in this house, starting to wonder if I should of moved. I do love this house, but though getting a newer house would be less problems. Just feeling very frustrated. Vent over.

:: 2013 15 December :: 11.03pm

a friend of mine post this on facebook a few days ago...

i read it and realised that i'm an introvert...
life made alot of sense afterwards.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/problems-only-introverts-will-understand

:: 2013 15 December :: 2.43pm

4 months till the wedding. So excited for 2014. So many exciting things. Get to marry the love of my life and then try to start a family next summer. Loving our new house. Excited to start the new year.

:: 2013 3 December :: 8.11pm

every day... i'm miserable.

3 slinked away | face the fox

rayray

:: 2013 11 November :: 3.12pm

Yesterday, my mom had a heart attack. This morning she had a heart cath, and it showed that she has a small blockage but they aren't doing a stent because it could cause more harm than good. I was told this morning she would be coming home tonight, but by the time I got to class, they decided to keep her for another day. And the cardiologist told her numerous times she needs to quit smoking. So I am hoping that, the heart attack and the fact she has already been told by her doctor that has been treating her for Lupus, is enough to get it in full swing..

:: 2013 20 September :: 12.15pm

Almost 6 months till the wedding :) Feels more real now that its so close. Excited to go register for gifts next month and send out save the dates. My first set turned out very nice, cant wait to get the second set. Finally got shadow a pool, he is such a spoiled dog. Excited for Red flannel and to see everyone. Very happy with my decision to buy a house back in cedar. I love how quite it is and somehow things just seem cheaper. Loving life :)

m&ms487

:: 2013 15 September :: 8.47pm
:: Music: Man on Fire-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

PhDing and teaching. It involves lots of reading. And grading. Eventually, there will be writing. This year marks my 4th academic publication, and 2014 will hold conference presentations 7-9 at major conferences.

I really hope there will be some semblance of a good job at the end of all of this.

:: 2013 12 September :: 9.11pm

so, i applied for a job today that required me to write a cover letter.
I've never done that before.
adult decisions.

:: 2013 9 September :: 9.57pm

went to andy's house tonight, his mom called me earlier today to see if i could come over and get some pictures and videos off an old phone.

it was an interesting expierence. We talked about alot of things, some made me laugh, some made me sad.

Just an interesting expierence all around.